One Year and Under Club Part 54
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One Year and Under Club Part 54
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Thanks Dee.
I think that being overly dependent on others moods is for me a sign of my codependency.
For me it probably started when I was very young as a coping mechanism for dealing with my parents unpredictable moods and behaviors. I never learned how to own how I felt until recovery.
Haha, the temptation to interfere doesn't go away, but I notice when I'm starting to go there now. For example I noticed my husband was acting grouchy. I found myself catering to it. "Are you ok? Do you want to go on this ride? Do you NOT want to? What do you want to do? Do you want to eat? Do you want to sit down??"
He said was just a little aggravated by the younger child's (admittedly annoying) behavior.
I started catastrophising how if he didn't understand our son's anxiety, he could never understand me. (This is all going on in my head in the manner of five minutes!!). My son was sulking a bit and I saw myself at that age being yelled at by my parents and step parents for my anxiety. I got really caught up in it and chided my husband a bit for his impatience.
And then I stopped. I remembered I didn't cause it and can't control it. THAT IS THE MIRCLE OF RECOVERY.
I've got another recovery miracle story. Last time I was here I was drinking. Because of my anxiety and motion sickness I've never been a huge fan of rides. Disney rides are notoriously tame, but last time I was here I struggled with all but the slowest rides and attractions.
My younger one wasn't interested in them, so it was easy last time. This time though he needed a role model to show him that it was OK to go on rides he was a little apprehensive about.
Due to the ongoing healing of sobriety, I found that this time I rode some of the more exciting rides with the kids (huge growth) - and also really enjoyed myself!! I suspect this ability to enjoy motion and commotion is related to my brain healing from longtime abstinence from booze.
In AA they say "Keep coming til the miracle happens." I couldn't agree more!
I think that being overly dependent on others moods is for me a sign of my codependency.
For me it probably started when I was very young as a coping mechanism for dealing with my parents unpredictable moods and behaviors. I never learned how to own how I felt until recovery.
Haha, the temptation to interfere doesn't go away, but I notice when I'm starting to go there now. For example I noticed my husband was acting grouchy. I found myself catering to it. "Are you ok? Do you want to go on this ride? Do you NOT want to? What do you want to do? Do you want to eat? Do you want to sit down??"
He said was just a little aggravated by the younger child's (admittedly annoying) behavior.
I started catastrophising how if he didn't understand our son's anxiety, he could never understand me. (This is all going on in my head in the manner of five minutes!!). My son was sulking a bit and I saw myself at that age being yelled at by my parents and step parents for my anxiety. I got really caught up in it and chided my husband a bit for his impatience.
And then I stopped. I remembered I didn't cause it and can't control it. THAT IS THE MIRCLE OF RECOVERY.
I've got another recovery miracle story. Last time I was here I was drinking. Because of my anxiety and motion sickness I've never been a huge fan of rides. Disney rides are notoriously tame, but last time I was here I struggled with all but the slowest rides and attractions.
My younger one wasn't interested in them, so it was easy last time. This time though he needed a role model to show him that it was OK to go on rides he was a little apprehensive about.
Due to the ongoing healing of sobriety, I found that this time I rode some of the more exciting rides with the kids (huge growth) - and also really enjoyed myself!! I suspect this ability to enjoy motion and commotion is related to my brain healing from longtime abstinence from booze.
In AA they say "Keep coming til the miracle happens." I couldn't agree more!
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 1,501
Originally Posted by gleefan 
Due to the ongoing healing of sobriety, I found that this time I rode some of the more exciting rides with the kids (huge growth) - and also really enjoyed myself!! I suspect this ability to enjoy motion and commotion is related to my brain healing from longtime abstinence from booze.
I remember when my Sister's family came down from Washington State and we went to Sea World in San Antonio. Between the heat and the walking for someone not used to it they got a little tired and cranky pretty quick too. And yes I definitely hit all of the fun rides!
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,672
oh you guys !! you did it again. I will do the same exact things. I've just got to learn to control myself and not others. Wow !! what a eye opener. thank you soo much.
Ok--yesterday I went in for some lab work that was overdue. I have to admit I was scared because of my last binge I thought for sure my liver was shot. Well, it turns out my liver is ok but, my platelets are low. My count is 87 and it's suppose to be between 140-400 so, I have to go in again next week and see my doctor in two weeks. What do you guys think? My dr. wrote me a note and said I'm anemic. I have to admit I lost a lot of weight when I had my last binge and since then have put on at least 6-7 pounds. I'm a little concerned but, yet relieved that my liver is ok. I can't tell you how scared I was about that. I have not told my H and my daughter was over last night (that's another story) and haven't mentioned anything . I don't want to say anything till I go in. Anyway that's what is going on with me. I will be going to AA today and I'm looking forward to it. Well, enough of that !! Have a great day Undies---it will be 4 weeks tomorrow and I'm going to go a lot further this time. I just want to Thank you for being you.
Babs
Ok--yesterday I went in for some lab work that was overdue. I have to admit I was scared because of my last binge I thought for sure my liver was shot. Well, it turns out my liver is ok but, my platelets are low. My count is 87 and it's suppose to be between 140-400 so, I have to go in again next week and see my doctor in two weeks. What do you guys think? My dr. wrote me a note and said I'm anemic. I have to admit I lost a lot of weight when I had my last binge and since then have put on at least 6-7 pounds. I'm a little concerned but, yet relieved that my liver is ok. I can't tell you how scared I was about that. I have not told my H and my daughter was over last night (that's another story) and haven't mentioned anything . I don't want to say anything till I go in. Anyway that's what is going on with me. I will be going to AA today and I'm looking forward to it. Well, enough of that !! Have a great day Undies---it will be 4 weeks tomorrow and I'm going to go a lot further this time. I just want to Thank you for being you.
Babs
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: England
Posts: 2,675
Thanks for the new thread Dee!
The body is amazing at repairing itself and staving off damage Babs, I was also shocked that I hadn't done more damage. Are you going to be getting vitamins or anything for your anemia?
Great post Glee, sounds like you're getting control over those thoughts caused by your anxiety.
My work induction went well, also got some great advice after visiting my possible future college. Lots to think about. College interview tomorrow.
The body is amazing at repairing itself and staving off damage Babs, I was also shocked that I hadn't done more damage. Are you going to be getting vitamins or anything for your anemia?
Great post Glee, sounds like you're getting control over those thoughts caused by your anxiety.
My work induction went well, also got some great advice after visiting my possible future college. Lots to think about. College interview tomorrow.
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
I got a new job!! A really good one!
A year ago in May and June I got and promptly lost a really amazing job. I was so destroyed with shame afterwards, and felt like I'd lost my last chance at getting better (I'd quit as I started, then relapsed a couple weeks later amidst fights with my then-boyfriend, didn't show up to work for 4 days... ). In rehab people tried to make me feel better, said that if I'd landed a dream job then, I could do it again. And of course I was like, you don't understand, that was it, I'm ruined!
And it's less than a year later and I'm going to be OK! I start in a couple of weeks. It's a place I could see myself working at for a while and really taking my career to the next stage.
I am so happy that I'm almost in shock, you guys. This job is even better than the one I lost last year. Things really are going to be OK for me.
A year ago in May and June I got and promptly lost a really amazing job. I was so destroyed with shame afterwards, and felt like I'd lost my last chance at getting better (I'd quit as I started, then relapsed a couple weeks later amidst fights with my then-boyfriend, didn't show up to work for 4 days... ). In rehab people tried to make me feel better, said that if I'd landed a dream job then, I could do it again. And of course I was like, you don't understand, that was it, I'm ruined!
And it's less than a year later and I'm going to be OK! I start in a couple of weeks. It's a place I could see myself working at for a while and really taking my career to the next stage.
I am so happy that I'm almost in shock, you guys. This job is even better than the one I lost last year. Things really are going to be OK for me.
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Location: New England, USA
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((((Babs)))) - Hugs to you! It must be hard to go through it alone. I have found that reaching out about my issues helps. Maybe mentioning during the meeting that your having a health scare and would like to talk about it, then stick around to discuss with someone afterwards. They can't give you medical advice, or make your problem go away, but they can support you and lead you the tools you need to face it!! (It's kind of like the idea of teaching a person to fish, rather than just giving them a fish.) I find that being involved face to face with sober people has given me strength when I needed it.
OT - Glad work went well! Sending good college interview vibes your way. When I was in school I was a tour guide and I actually interviewed prospective students. My advice is be yourself!
What are you looking to study?
OT - Glad work went well! Sending good college interview vibes your way. When I was in school I was a tour guide and I actually interviewed prospective students. My advice is be yourself!
What are you looking to study?
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: England
Posts: 2,675
Interview day! I know it'll be fine but I'm still looking forward to it being over. 
Thanks for the good luck wishes everyone.
glee - I'm planning on studying Psychology. I need to top up some lower qualifications in Science and Maths before I got and do that though. Not going to be a problem but there might be a way of making things easier for myself. I'll find out later!
fantail - That's BRILLIANT! I'm so happy for you! It's true, we don't see any way our lives will get better when we're that low. You're sure showing past fantail.
Thanks for the good luck wishes everyone.glee - I'm planning on studying Psychology. I need to top up some lower qualifications in Science and Maths before I got and do that though. Not going to be a problem but there might be a way of making things easier for myself. I'll find out later!
fantail - That's BRILLIANT! I'm so happy for you! It's true, we don't see any way our lives will get better when we're that low. You're sure showing past fantail.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Central Texas
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Congratulations on your new job Fantail! I've heard way too many accounts of careers destroyed on this forum because of alcohol. Good job with your recovery and on your ability to turn it around. I wish you the best as you start your new job.
OT- sounds like things are going well. Sobriety opens up so many doors and gives us the tools to succeed!
OT- sounds like things are going well. Sobriety opens up so many doors and gives us the tools to succeed!
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