One Year and Under Club Part 54
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,285
Lee, great to see you here! I still pop in here from time to time. Selfishly, it is a good reminder of how far I have come but it is also a reminder of what awaits if I were to slip. I also feel that if I can help even one person a little bit, it's worth it.
Key, so happy to see you, too! Great that you are playing guitar with your son.
Kopfan, you are moving in such a positive direction. Happy to hear your laughter is coming back :-)
Key, so happy to see you, too! Great that you are playing guitar with your son.
Kopfan, you are moving in such a positive direction. Happy to hear your laughter is coming back :-)
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 486
Thanks Sassy! It's the first time, for me, that I have felt like I have earned enough sober time to actually contribute. 
I'm so proud of you and how far you have come. I hope to try to pop in here now once a day, as well as to my normal group, as well as the newcomers threads each day. Keeps me grounded.
I'm so proud of you and how far you have come. I hope to try to pop in here now once a day, as well as to my normal group, as well as the newcomers threads each day. Keeps me grounded.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,672
Hi there Undies ! !
I wasn't going to share this but, have changed my mind. I was at a wedding reception at the lake this week-end and it wasn't the bride and grooms friends it was friends of the parents. This bunch has been together for almost everything. I want to tell you there were about 30 people there and I was the only one not drinking. They did a toast and I held up my bottle of water rather than the shots they had passed around. I could feel some eyes on me to see if I was going to take the shot or not and you know what? I was dam proud to hold up my water---they really are a good bunch and not one person said a word. I really feel they are my friends. I left early and went for a walk and felt great about it. The bride and groom left and then the party started---Whoa----but you know what? I didn't miss a darn thing. I heard all about it the next day--and this time it wasn't me falling out of my chair or repeating over and over again. anyway---I just wanted to share that.
Babs
I wasn't going to share this but, have changed my mind. I was at a wedding reception at the lake this week-end and it wasn't the bride and grooms friends it was friends of the parents. This bunch has been together for almost everything. I want to tell you there were about 30 people there and I was the only one not drinking. They did a toast and I held up my bottle of water rather than the shots they had passed around. I could feel some eyes on me to see if I was going to take the shot or not and you know what? I was dam proud to hold up my water---they really are a good bunch and not one person said a word. I really feel they are my friends. I left early and went for a walk and felt great about it. The bride and groom left and then the party started---Whoa----but you know what? I didn't miss a darn thing. I heard all about it the next day--and this time it wasn't me falling out of my chair or repeating over and over again. anyway---I just wanted to share that.
Babs
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 1,501
Originally Posted by KeyofC 
Im not actively back to performing for crowds again, but I have taken up playing acoustic guitar. I have seriously started practicing the last couple months, though I've had my guitar since right after Christmas. My son is self taught and he impressed me so much I wanted to be able to share that gift with him and play guitar together. It relieves so much stress and anxiety. I like to mow the yard now because of that reason too. All I have to do is concentrate on mowing, nothing else. Centers me, I welcome that. Makes me slow down, stop the thoughts. I rarely get the feeling of wanting to drink. Thankful for that too. However I still don't like and am very uncomfortable around big crowds and party crowds. Even after a year. I just don't like it. Used to be I was center of them, now I just want to get away from it. I tolerate it for a little while, but when I'm ready to go, it's time to go or I'll go on my own and whomever came with will have to find a way home. Just how it is today.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Hi Undies
I'm 2 1/2 years sober but I can relate to so much of what is said here.
Leezer - No such thing as needing a certain amount of sober time to contribute here. I find this group welcomes everyone with support and kindness. I think that's why I keep coming back! In any event, I agree that the changes and growth month to month of sobriety are significant. It's awesome that you're feeling a little bit back into the swing of things.
Kopfan - Your comment about the cumulative depressive effects of drinking is spot on. I didn't see it either. My first few months sober were like one long, protracted hangover.
I had to take a good, hard look at myself. I had to change what needed to change. AA and the camaraderie of SR helped me figure out what to do to fill that booze shaped hole with the right things. They didn't tell me what to do but they helped me figure out how to listen to my heart and my higher power. Bit by bit, I felt better.
KeyofC - Great to see you and glad you're doing so well. I think it's super you found your way back to music in a capacity that fills your heart rather than weigh you down.
Babs - How awesome that you stayed sober at the wedding. My crowd of friends drinks, and it used to make me feel uncomfortable and different when I was sober among them. I tell you, now I don't! Instead I feel genuinely grateful to remember the whole night and able to wake up refreshed the next morning.
Amp, Stargazer, Saskia, toots, Dee, Wolf and any undies I may have missed, I hope you have a great day!
I'm 2 1/2 years sober but I can relate to so much of what is said here.
Leezer - No such thing as needing a certain amount of sober time to contribute here. I find this group welcomes everyone with support and kindness. I think that's why I keep coming back! In any event, I agree that the changes and growth month to month of sobriety are significant. It's awesome that you're feeling a little bit back into the swing of things.
Kopfan - Your comment about the cumulative depressive effects of drinking is spot on. I didn't see it either. My first few months sober were like one long, protracted hangover.
I had to take a good, hard look at myself. I had to change what needed to change. AA and the camaraderie of SR helped me figure out what to do to fill that booze shaped hole with the right things. They didn't tell me what to do but they helped me figure out how to listen to my heart and my higher power. Bit by bit, I felt better.
KeyofC - Great to see you and glad you're doing so well. I think it's super you found your way back to music in a capacity that fills your heart rather than weigh you down.
Babs - How awesome that you stayed sober at the wedding. My crowd of friends drinks, and it used to make me feel uncomfortable and different when I was sober among them. I tell you, now I don't! Instead I feel genuinely grateful to remember the whole night and able to wake up refreshed the next morning.
Amp, Stargazer, Saskia, toots, Dee, Wolf and any undies I may have missed, I hope you have a great day!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 8
Hi Fantail. I am in a similar position as I lost my dream job due to my drinking and not going to work for 2 days. I know it is going to take me a while to find a new job, but what did you do that helped you secure that new job? What did you say your reason for not having a job for a year was?
Thanks for the post and really happy for you on your new position.
Thanks for the post and really happy for you on your new position.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Ky
Posts: 2,043
I know this:
Whether I attend AA or not. Whether I practice another form of recovery or not. Whether I get counseling or not. Whether I chose to act or do absolutely nothing. It is true, it is my right to do nothing.
BUT I have had to change the way I think about things, they way I do things, the way I act/react to things, and the people in which I allow into my circle.
I don't see how people can go on a recovery site and be mad about people offering them different forms of recovery help and in the same breath say that they aren't going to change a thing or they're not willing to do things any different than they ever have. How in the world do they expect one single thing to change for better or worse? Why did you ask someones opinion of all you're going to do is fight, belittle, argue, point out the errors...etc.
Oh trust me, I still offer my opinion. Maybe one thing I say will help them. It just amazes me. I knew the way I was doing things wasn't working for me anymore. I knew the second once I started talking to people who were like me, but seemed to have things under control a bit better than me, that my way of thinking was absolute garbage and ridiculous. I knew right off the bat once I said out loud that I couldn't drink responsibly anymore, change had to happen. HAD to. Sometimes I just don't get it. I know it's a sick mind controlling them. I wonder if it means they're really not admitting they're powerless, that their lives are unmanageable? They're not ready for "recovery" or "sobriety" for that matter. They are two entities, in my mind. Whether you do AA or not, it is the key to admit your way is crap. AND the "higher power" AA refers to does not have to mean or be a God or a Jesus. It could be anything as long as it keeps you accountable. Just my two cents. (Not anyone in this thread..it was completely something else. I vented here. Thank you for letting me.)
Hug!
Happy Tuesday!
Whether I attend AA or not. Whether I practice another form of recovery or not. Whether I get counseling or not. Whether I chose to act or do absolutely nothing. It is true, it is my right to do nothing.
BUT I have had to change the way I think about things, they way I do things, the way I act/react to things, and the people in which I allow into my circle.
I don't see how people can go on a recovery site and be mad about people offering them different forms of recovery help and in the same breath say that they aren't going to change a thing or they're not willing to do things any different than they ever have. How in the world do they expect one single thing to change for better or worse? Why did you ask someones opinion of all you're going to do is fight, belittle, argue, point out the errors...etc.
Oh trust me, I still offer my opinion. Maybe one thing I say will help them. It just amazes me. I knew the way I was doing things wasn't working for me anymore. I knew the second once I started talking to people who were like me, but seemed to have things under control a bit better than me, that my way of thinking was absolute garbage and ridiculous. I knew right off the bat once I said out loud that I couldn't drink responsibly anymore, change had to happen. HAD to. Sometimes I just don't get it. I know it's a sick mind controlling them. I wonder if it means they're really not admitting they're powerless, that their lives are unmanageable? They're not ready for "recovery" or "sobriety" for that matter. They are two entities, in my mind. Whether you do AA or not, it is the key to admit your way is crap. AND the "higher power" AA refers to does not have to mean or be a God or a Jesus. It could be anything as long as it keeps you accountable. Just my two cents. (Not anyone in this thread..it was completely something else. I vented here. Thank you for letting me.)
Hug!
Happy Tuesday!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Key - When I first came to SR I had my mind made up that AA was not for me. While I wouldn't necessarily argue with anyone who felt it was a good option, my mind was closed.
After a short time, I returned to drinking. When I came back to SR a year later, I still had my mind made up that AA wasn't a good fit for me. My mind was still closed.
I drank again after 3 weeks sober. When I came to, I was desperate and scared. I didn't want to drink anymore, and AA was the only place I could think of to turn.
I opened my mind to others' experiences and opinions about AA and recovery. That humility to open my mind was a significant step in my healing journey. I am incredibly grateful for it!
I don't think everyone needs to follow the same program as I do, I just know it works for me. I've made some good sober friends, some of whom are in AA and others who aren't. The loneliness and desperation of addiction has been replaced by friendship, camaraderie, and joy. I can count on people to support me no matter what comes my way, day or night, and that gives me confidence to do the next right thing. It's such a gift and I am glad to tell others how I found it.
After a short time, I returned to drinking. When I came back to SR a year later, I still had my mind made up that AA wasn't a good fit for me. My mind was still closed.
I drank again after 3 weeks sober. When I came to, I was desperate and scared. I didn't want to drink anymore, and AA was the only place I could think of to turn.
I opened my mind to others' experiences and opinions about AA and recovery. That humility to open my mind was a significant step in my healing journey. I am incredibly grateful for it!
I don't think everyone needs to follow the same program as I do, I just know it works for me. I've made some good sober friends, some of whom are in AA and others who aren't. The loneliness and desperation of addiction has been replaced by friendship, camaraderie, and joy. I can count on people to support me no matter what comes my way, day or night, and that gives me confidence to do the next right thing. It's such a gift and I am glad to tell others how I found it.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,164
Hi guys, good to see you all here.
We all found different routes to alcohol,
We all had different relationships with it, some longer, some stronger, some more desperate and some in such deep denial that to accept the truth is too painful, and some with the arrogance of believing their relationship with alcohol is one that they can manage. Some so fearful of a life without alcohol that they cannot see a future without it.
I struggled with that.
When I found SR, I was googling 'ways of drinking in moderation'. I wasn't an alcoholic. Oh, no, not me. My exh drinking vodka at 8am whilst spewing and shaking,, now he was an alcoholic. Me, I was just drinking too much. For too long. Me, I was just struggling with my promises every morning not to drink that night. Me, I was middle aged,middle class, kept my job, fooled my husband, managed not to total my car every morning after.
Me? I was in denial.
Me? I couldn't conceive of ever not drinking again.
Until I spent time here reading, until I tentatively began responding to those that sounded like me.
Until I realised that I had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.
Until I realised that to move forward in my life, and begin to like rather than loathe myself, I had to stop
Until I accepted I am an alcoholic.
Until I was ready to do anythingabsolutely anything to get my life back.
I am fortunate. With the wisdom, courage and daily support of the brotherhood of SR and the love and support of my Normie husband, I have been sober for 3 and 1/4 years.
Me, the one who couldn't manage 3 days,
Me, the one who didn't have a problem.
Even acknowledging our reliance on alcohol to manage all of life's little ups and downs isn't enough to stop a person drinking.
Even knowing it will lose us a job, isn't enough to stop a person drinking
Even knowing it has destroyed our most loving relationships isn't enough to stop a person drinking.
Some of those who come here are desperate. They know that if they keep drinking they will die, but alcohol has such a strong grip on them, on their body, on their mind, in they blood, it has chemically changed their brain, it may well be all they have left to turn to.
Some, like my exh, ultimately give everything else over to the disease. He was a year older than I am now when he succumbed. How different my life is looking forward with clear eyes, to a future of my choosing. Good days, bad days
days when I struggle, sad days. Days when I cry with joy. All shared with those I love.
All because I embraced the fear and reached in hope, in white knuckled terror at times, heart pounding.
All because I rode out those times AV tried to wheedle, bargain, tease and tempt.
All because I wanted a future more than I wanted another drink
All because I had the support I needed. And believe me, if SR hadn't been enough? I would have done everything and anything I needed to AA, SMART, rehab, you call it,my would have done it.
Yes, I am fortunate. But I also had the strength, the grit, the bull headed determination, and the vision to see a life beyond the misery that enveloped me.
We cannot judge others for not being at the point in their lives where they are ready to do anything they can to stop.
Some never do.
Some never manage, but never give up trying.
And some of us lucky ones are here telling you
IT CAN BE DONE
Hump Day lecture over, enjoy the rest of your Wednesday undies.
We all found different routes to alcohol,
We all had different relationships with it, some longer, some stronger, some more desperate and some in such deep denial that to accept the truth is too painful, and some with the arrogance of believing their relationship with alcohol is one that they can manage. Some so fearful of a life without alcohol that they cannot see a future without it.
I struggled with that.
When I found SR, I was googling 'ways of drinking in moderation'. I wasn't an alcoholic. Oh, no, not me. My exh drinking vodka at 8am whilst spewing and shaking,, now he was an alcoholic. Me, I was just drinking too much. For too long. Me, I was just struggling with my promises every morning not to drink that night. Me, I was middle aged,middle class, kept my job, fooled my husband, managed not to total my car every morning after.
Me? I was in denial.
Me? I couldn't conceive of ever not drinking again.
Until I spent time here reading, until I tentatively began responding to those that sounded like me.
Until I realised that I had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.
Until I realised that to move forward in my life, and begin to like rather than loathe myself, I had to stop
Until I accepted I am an alcoholic.
Until I was ready to do anythingabsolutely anything to get my life back.
I am fortunate. With the wisdom, courage and daily support of the brotherhood of SR and the love and support of my Normie husband, I have been sober for 3 and 1/4 years.
Me, the one who couldn't manage 3 days,
Me, the one who didn't have a problem.
Even acknowledging our reliance on alcohol to manage all of life's little ups and downs isn't enough to stop a person drinking.
Even knowing it will lose us a job, isn't enough to stop a person drinking
Even knowing it has destroyed our most loving relationships isn't enough to stop a person drinking.
Some of those who come here are desperate. They know that if they keep drinking they will die, but alcohol has such a strong grip on them, on their body, on their mind, in they blood, it has chemically changed their brain, it may well be all they have left to turn to.
Some, like my exh, ultimately give everything else over to the disease. He was a year older than I am now when he succumbed. How different my life is looking forward with clear eyes, to a future of my choosing. Good days, bad days
days when I struggle, sad days. Days when I cry with joy. All shared with those I love.
All because I embraced the fear and reached in hope, in white knuckled terror at times, heart pounding.
All because I rode out those times AV tried to wheedle, bargain, tease and tempt.
All because I wanted a future more than I wanted another drink
All because I had the support I needed. And believe me, if SR hadn't been enough? I would have done everything and anything I needed to AA, SMART, rehab, you call it,my would have done it.
Yes, I am fortunate. But I also had the strength, the grit, the bull headed determination, and the vision to see a life beyond the misery that enveloped me.
We cannot judge others for not being at the point in their lives where they are ready to do anything they can to stop.
Some never do.
Some never manage, but never give up trying.
And some of us lucky ones are here telling you
IT CAN BE DONE
Hump Day lecture over, enjoy the rest of your Wednesday undies.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: England
Posts: 2,675
Great post Toots! 
I was a daily vodka drinker, I drank to deal with life for a few years, the daily drinking suddenly popped up out of nowhere, no idea when or how it happened. I changed everything in my life - got a new job, got out of a relationship, stopped talking to certain people - I was still drinking.
I'd be in withdrawal every morning, people at work would see me shaking or smell vodka on my breath. I didn't see any reason to stop. My withdrawals got worse as time went on, had some really horrible symptoms, I'd been reading on SR for some time, but I made an account and asked for help.
Carried on drinking for a little while, things got a lot worse in that short space of time. I was on the edge of losing everything. I went to AA for a few months, desperate for it to work for me, it didn't. I thought that meant I had to drink again (alcoholic logic right?).
I started posting to SR regularly and haven't looked back since. Would never have thought it possible half a year ago. I'm grateful to have stumbled across this forum.
I was a daily vodka drinker, I drank to deal with life for a few years, the daily drinking suddenly popped up out of nowhere, no idea when or how it happened. I changed everything in my life - got a new job, got out of a relationship, stopped talking to certain people - I was still drinking.
I'd be in withdrawal every morning, people at work would see me shaking or smell vodka on my breath. I didn't see any reason to stop. My withdrawals got worse as time went on, had some really horrible symptoms, I'd been reading on SR for some time, but I made an account and asked for help.
Carried on drinking for a little while, things got a lot worse in that short space of time. I was on the edge of losing everything. I went to AA for a few months, desperate for it to work for me, it didn't. I thought that meant I had to drink again (alcoholic logic right?).
I started posting to SR regularly and haven't looked back since. Would never have thought it possible half a year ago. I'm grateful to have stumbled across this forum.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,369
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
