Class of April 2016 Support Thread Part 5
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Florida
Posts: 136
Good morning All,
Day 39, Had a huge argument with wife over weekend. But we are working things out. I am to blame for all of this. Years of drinking will do that. Good news is I am still on the wagon. Which was one of her points. She was like waiting for an argument, because that would usually mean I would drink. I Passed with flying colors. I just went to sleep for a bit. Until it passed. Well I had hoped that was all I had to chat about. But I received a call for Doc, I have a little bit of blood in my urine. And he didn’t give anything for it a month ago, But I had a burning feeling last time I went, so I went back to doc and sent me to do another urine test. Again, a little bit of blood came out again. So he is sending me to another doc to have them check me out.
Day 39, Had a huge argument with wife over weekend. But we are working things out. I am to blame for all of this. Years of drinking will do that. Good news is I am still on the wagon. Which was one of her points. She was like waiting for an argument, because that would usually mean I would drink. I Passed with flying colors. I just went to sleep for a bit. Until it passed. Well I had hoped that was all I had to chat about. But I received a call for Doc, I have a little bit of blood in my urine. And he didn’t give anything for it a month ago, But I had a burning feeling last time I went, so I went back to doc and sent me to do another urine test. Again, a little bit of blood came out again. So he is sending me to another doc to have them check me out.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,850
Originally Posted by josec77 
Good morning All,
Day 39, Had a huge argument with wife over weekend. But we are working things out. I am to blame for all of this. Years of drinking will do that. Good news is I am still on the wagon. Which was one of her points. She was like waiting for an argument, because that would usually mean I would drink. I Passed with flying colors. I just went to sleep for a bit. Until it passed. Well I had hoped that was all I had to chat about. But I received a call for Doc, I have a little bit of blood in my urine. And he didn’t give anything for it a month ago, But I had a burning feeling last time I went, so I went back to doc and sent me to do another urine test. Again, a little bit of blood came out again. So he is sending me to another doc to have them check me out.
Day 39, Had a huge argument with wife over weekend. But we are working things out. I am to blame for all of this. Years of drinking will do that. Good news is I am still on the wagon. Which was one of her points. She was like waiting for an argument, because that would usually mean I would drink. I Passed with flying colors. I just went to sleep for a bit. Until it passed. Well I had hoped that was all I had to chat about. But I received a call for Doc, I have a little bit of blood in my urine. And he didn’t give anything for it a month ago, But I had a burning feeling last time I went, so I went back to doc and sent me to do another urine test. Again, a little bit of blood came out again. So he is sending me to another doc to have them check me out.
Hope everything is ok with your doc visit. Could just be a little infection. Praying for you.
Thanks everyone for the kind words and support here. It means alot for me to know that you all really care. TY.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Florida
Posts: 136
Originally Posted by Winslow
Kopfan,on my last quit I felt tired and foggy the whole entire 4 1/2 months,I think that partially led to me relapsing, I felt like poop sober,why bother,this time I'm taking a b-complex and evening primrose oil (just a bit) and I feel heaps better,I'm not trying to give advice and everyone is different but this is giving me energy this go around, try googling these supps and alcoholism��
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Florida
Posts: 136
Originally Posted by Tati
I thought when you get sober you're supposed to feel better? I don't feel motivated or energized. I feel like walking in front of train.
I'm trying SO hard to stick to a healthy diet, but I just wanna stuff my face with junk food all day. I started taking xanax again. I stopped completely for like a week, and now I already feel myself getting hooked. I've been taking like 3 or 4 a day, and the crazy thing is they don't have much of an affect on me. I'm just resorting to ANYTHING to numb myself that isn't alcohol. This is why I probably have no real friends. I just have such an intense personality. Who wants to be around that? My mom even ignores me.
I'm trying SO hard to stick to a healthy diet, but I just wanna stuff my face with junk food all day. I started taking xanax again. I stopped completely for like a week, and now I already feel myself getting hooked. I've been taking like 3 or 4 a day, and the crazy thing is they don't have much of an affect on me. I'm just resorting to ANYTHING to numb myself that isn't alcohol. This is why I probably have no real friends. I just have such an intense personality. Who wants to be around that? My mom even ignores me.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Florida
Posts: 136
Originally Posted by maximus97
Good on you for staying sober thru your argument. Being angry and drinking on it is my main trigger.
Hope everything is ok with your doc visit. Could just be a little infection. Praying for you.
Thanks everyone for the kind words and support here. It means alot for me to know that you all really care. TY.
Hope everything is ok with your doc visit. Could just be a little infection. Praying for you.
Thanks everyone for the kind words and support here. It means alot for me to know that you all really care. TY.
Keep your post coming Max, you give us encouragement when needed. And you share your experiences with your fight against this Monster that we are all trying to overcome.
I have learned so much from all of you and I want to say THANK YOU!! We can learn from one another experiences, so that we can fight a better fight.
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Lehigh valley PA
Posts: 251
Originally Posted by maximus97
Feel your pain girl. Life changes are always hard. The Xanax is not helping you. I took a small dose for a few years, it actually aggrevates me, my other problems.
You will get better Tati, you will. I swore I would not post, after my last unpleasant venture here. But, I see your pain, and understand it. It sux, but you can get past it. My family is so freakin disfunctional, down to the D, and F. I love your posts, you really are a good person.
Im so happy tonight, if I have helped you at all, its worth my time here
You Will be just fine .
Love , Max
You will get better Tati, you will. I swore I would not post, after my last unpleasant venture here. But, I see your pain, and understand it. It sux, but you can get past it. My family is so freakin disfunctional, down to the D, and F. I love your posts, you really are a good person.
Im so happy tonight, if I have helped you at all, its worth my time here
You Will be just fine .
Love , Max
Thanks for your sweet words. I think I could be better person though. I haven't been the nicest to my mom lately. I kinda take my feelings out on her. I've been trying to be mindful though. You did help me! Just seeing your post made me smile. Today has been exceptionally bad. My family is super dysfunctional to 
I feel like everyone in my family including me is horrible decision maker. We just think go on impulse without thinking **** through. My mom and brother being the biggest offenders *sigh*
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Lehigh valley PA
Posts: 251
Originally Posted by maximus97
Tati
I kno all so well about pple not accepting you, or your feelings. Looking back, I had just been told I had cancer. Years ago, then my hub told me after that surgery, when the hell are they going to discharge u? Really........ he is such a dic, still is. I thought I would never live to see my son at age 3 grow up, I was 28 then. But, I did.
Such a dick. Worried about the money, as usual. Well, it was 18 years of a cysto up my pee hole, yes and no pain stuff. It sucked. Cancer free thank the Lord. People just can't understand it, unless they have gone thru it.
I'm blessed today, because I'm here for a reason. So, never give up hope. You are a fine young girl. Take that, cherish it, build on it. Life is too short girl. Luv you. You are worth the fight, and the pain, all that comes with it. Do whatever it takes to make U, ok. And, don't wait until its too late.
Luv ya, M
I kno all so well about pple not accepting you, or your feelings. Looking back, I had just been told I had cancer. Years ago, then my hub told me after that surgery, when the hell are they going to discharge u? Really........ he is such a dic, still is. I thought I would never live to see my son at age 3 grow up, I was 28 then. But, I did.
Such a dick. Worried about the money, as usual. Well, it was 18 years of a cysto up my pee hole, yes and no pain stuff. It sucked. Cancer free thank the Lord. People just can't understand it, unless they have gone thru it.
I'm blessed today, because I'm here for a reason. So, never give up hope. You are a fine young girl. Take that, cherish it, build on it. Life is too short girl. Luv you. You are worth the fight, and the pain, all that comes with it. Do whatever it takes to make U, ok. And, don't wait until its too late.
Luv ya, M
. I know I don't know you, but you seem like such a sweet person from your posts. I hope your future has nothing but great things in store for you.I don't like the person I am. I hate who I have become. I'm just OVER everything. I feel so emotionally sick. It's getting worse everyday. I used to tell my old therapist I know things are bad when I start to not care anymore, and I've definitely reached that point. I haven't been THIS depressed in a looong time. l'm always depressed, but there's like levels to it and i'm definitely at my lowest. I'm gonna call a psychiatrist tomorrow and make an appointment. Hopefully I have better luck with this guy then the other douche.
Thanks again max
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Georgia
Posts: 471
Hi all! Josec, I'm hoping your doctor appointment is good news. Prayers are with you!
I read up on the vitamin, health thing you all have been talking about. They all say B vitamins, lots of water and rest. But other things are different on different sites. Very motivating. I only had one handful of M n M's today. That's true progress for me. I'm about to take my dog for a long walk.
I was honest with my sponsor about why I'm not going to a meeting even though it was really embarrassing. I got myself in such dire straights financially during my drinking that I'm having to save my gas money for getting to work and back. lol, it turned out good, she is picking me up for the Wednesday meeting. On Tuesdays there's one right by my house, I can walk to it. It was easy to tell you guys that, because I know we're all struggling in our own ways. It was tough to tell my sponsor that because I don't know her and I hate to be judged.
I feel better today! Took a multivitamin and a B12.
It's great reading all your posts. I feel like I"m getting to know all of you and that is a very good thing.
I read up on the vitamin, health thing you all have been talking about. They all say B vitamins, lots of water and rest. But other things are different on different sites. Very motivating. I only had one handful of M n M's today. That's true progress for me. I'm about to take my dog for a long walk.
I was honest with my sponsor about why I'm not going to a meeting even though it was really embarrassing. I got myself in such dire straights financially during my drinking that I'm having to save my gas money for getting to work and back. lol, it turned out good, she is picking me up for the Wednesday meeting. On Tuesdays there's one right by my house, I can walk to it. It was easy to tell you guys that, because I know we're all struggling in our own ways. It was tough to tell my sponsor that because I don't know her and I hate to be judged.
I feel better today! Took a multivitamin and a B12.
It's great reading all your posts. I feel like I"m getting to know all of you and that is a very good thing.
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Lehigh valley PA
Posts: 251
Originally Posted by ring
A special hello to you Tati, I kept looking for your posts and missed you. I am really happy to see you Max also, thank you for sharing your story, it means a lot. Sending you lots of love and support.
Maybe I should share a bit with all..
I went through intense therapy and it was tough but I went through it. I realised you have to get to the core and although tough and painful sorting it out, reparenting yourself, setting boundaries, not carrying blame that others tried to place on you from very young. Not repeating dysfunctional scripts and accepting roles that are not your authentic self in relationships. So much I have learnt.
and also
I have a mental image in my mind of a shelf, on that shelf I place all my go to things that are in place instead of drinking.
Read a magazine, yes a gossipy one, I find them an escape
Put queens song "don't stop me now and have a dance (even in my chair)
A Walk - even just changing the environment for 10 minutes is good
Go to my favourite café for a coffee and people watch with my magazine
Do a face mask - or just do my make up and make myself feel pretty - even if it is late and I am not going out anywhere!
Tell myself how much I care for myself and sometimes go through a list of my nice qualities - why not! I know me best
Lay down and listen to my favourite mindfulness video by Michael Sealey
Read a bit of my book "Furiously Happy or Big Magic"
Laugh at Buzz Feed
Signed up for a free university online course that I go and dabble in on Forensic Science, always thought I could be an FBI profiler. Not! but sure is interesting
that is just a little about me. You may see I joined in 2011 and have some great sober days since that time under my belt. It is strange, when I stop drinking I am so much happier, I used to get triggered to drink, by digging deep and going through the pain to get to the core problem, those triggers are not in control of me anymore. I am very hopeful xox
Maybe I should share a bit with all..
I went through intense therapy and it was tough but I went through it. I realised you have to get to the core and although tough and painful sorting it out, reparenting yourself, setting boundaries, not carrying blame that others tried to place on you from very young. Not repeating dysfunctional scripts and accepting roles that are not your authentic self in relationships. So much I have learnt.
and also
I have a mental image in my mind of a shelf, on that shelf I place all my go to things that are in place instead of drinking.
Read a magazine, yes a gossipy one, I find them an escape
Put queens song "don't stop me now and have a dance (even in my chair)
A Walk - even just changing the environment for 10 minutes is good
Go to my favourite café for a coffee and people watch with my magazine
Do a face mask - or just do my make up and make myself feel pretty - even if it is late and I am not going out anywhere!
Tell myself how much I care for myself and sometimes go through a list of my nice qualities - why not! I know me best
Lay down and listen to my favourite mindfulness video by Michael Sealey
Read a bit of my book "Furiously Happy or Big Magic"
Laugh at Buzz Feed
Signed up for a free university online course that I go and dabble in on Forensic Science, always thought I could be an FBI profiler. Not! but sure is interesting
that is just a little about me. You may see I joined in 2011 and have some great sober days since that time under my belt. It is strange, when I stop drinking I am so much happier, I used to get triggered to drink, by digging deep and going through the pain to get to the core problem, those triggers are not in control of me anymore. I am very hopeful xox
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Lehigh valley PA
Posts: 251
Originally Posted by josec77
I know you can over comes this. The thing that scared me straight was the thought of losing my life. I have a family that depends on me and I was letting them all down. Big time. I had Neglected my wife, kids and family. I was losing them. I couldn't even stand for 5 minutes without breaking into a sweat. I was dying and this poison was speeding it up. Then It just hit me like a Birk. And I just stood there in my room and started crying and said to myself NO. This isn't the end. I started going to church again, and learn the most important word to say to myself. is NO!!!
I feel like thats one of my problems. I don't really feel like I have anything to live for. I have my mother, but she's not gonna be here forever. My brother is one of the most selfish people I've ever known. I'm not married, I don't have any kids, no real friends. I'm eventually gonna end up alone. I have nothing to really drive me so to speak. I wish I did though.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
I think one of the big reasons for me remaining sober is re-discovering a sense of purpose.
It need not be world shattering, it could be something very small and humble...just something that means something to you Tati?
D
It need not be world shattering, it could be something very small and humble...just something that means something to you Tati?
D
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Lehigh valley PA
Posts: 251
Originally Posted by josec77
Good morning All,
Day 39, Had a huge argument with wife over weekend. But we are working things out. I am to blame for all of this. Years of drinking will do that. Good news is I am still on the wagon. Which was one of her points. She was like waiting for an argument, because that would usually mean I would drink. I Passed with flying colors. I just went to sleep for a bit. Until it passed. Well I had hoped that was all I had to chat about. But I received a call for Doc, I have a little bit of blood in my urine. And he didn’t give anything for it a month ago, But I had a burning feeling last time I went, so I went back to doc and sent me to do another urine test. Again, a little bit of blood came out again. So he is sending me to another doc to have them check me out.
Day 39, Had a huge argument with wife over weekend. But we are working things out. I am to blame for all of this. Years of drinking will do that. Good news is I am still on the wagon. Which was one of her points. She was like waiting for an argument, because that would usually mean I would drink. I Passed with flying colors. I just went to sleep for a bit. Until it passed. Well I had hoped that was all I had to chat about. But I received a call for Doc, I have a little bit of blood in my urine. And he didn’t give anything for it a month ago, But I had a burning feeling last time I went, so I went back to doc and sent me to do another urine test. Again, a little bit of blood came out again. So he is sending me to another doc to have them check me out.
I hope everything turns out well.
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Lehigh valley PA
Posts: 251
Originally Posted by KarenOskie
Hey Tati, sorry you're having such a bad time. It sounds like you're doing what you need to do to get better though. I am hoping the new psychiatrist is way, way better than the other guy!
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Lehigh valley PA
Posts: 251
Originally Posted by KarenOskie
Hi all! Josec, I'm hoping your doctor appointment is good news. Prayers are with you!
I read up on the vitamin, health thing you all have been talking about. They all say B vitamins, lots of water and rest. But other things are different on different sites. Very motivating. I only had one handful of M n M's today. That's true progress for me. I'm about to take my dog for a long walk.
I was honest with my sponsor about why I'm not going to a meeting even though it was really embarrassing. I got myself in such dire straights financially during my drinking that I'm having to save my gas money for getting to work and back. lol, it turned out good, she is picking me up for the Wednesday meeting. On Tuesdays there's one right by my house, I can walk to it. It was easy to tell you guys that, because I know we're all struggling in our own ways. It was tough to tell my sponsor that because I don't know her and I hate to be judged.
I feel better today! Took a multivitamin and a B12.
It's great reading all your posts. I feel like I"m getting to know all of you and that is a very good thing.
I read up on the vitamin, health thing you all have been talking about. They all say B vitamins, lots of water and rest. But other things are different on different sites. Very motivating. I only had one handful of M n M's today. That's true progress for me. I'm about to take my dog for a long walk.
I was honest with my sponsor about why I'm not going to a meeting even though it was really embarrassing. I got myself in such dire straights financially during my drinking that I'm having to save my gas money for getting to work and back. lol, it turned out good, she is picking me up for the Wednesday meeting. On Tuesdays there's one right by my house, I can walk to it. It was easy to tell you guys that, because I know we're all struggling in our own ways. It was tough to tell my sponsor that because I don't know her and I hate to be judged.
I feel better today! Took a multivitamin and a B12.
It's great reading all your posts. I feel like I"m getting to know all of you and that is a very good thing.
Anyone who would judge you over something like that is an *******. low key i'm not afraid of being judged anymore. Well by strangers anyway (I understand the fear though), because I feel like overly judgmental people are projecting their own insecurities on to other people. My life choices don't affect you, so your opinion doesn't matter to me. But I digress. Good for you though!
Sorry for quoting so much. I just like to acknowledge everyone.
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