Fabela

Help.

Bobbieka

I feel ya, Keets. I had to see Barney in concert. ugh

Bobbieka

Hey, Fabela. What happened with your husband that made you angry?

Keets

would taking a shower help or a bubble bath? Maybe a walk by yourself?
I clean when I'm upset not the normal cleaning liked dep cleaning I go,through the junk drawers the office desk, sort my kids Legos and toys wipe down cabinets. My husband knows when im mad because I tar the house up cleaning and usually end up,it's a bigger mess in the end but it keeps me busy.

Fabela

He has been telling me that he wants to know how I feel, especially when I'm feeling down, but I don't want to worry him. Tonight I tried to tell him, and he immediately made it all about him and got angry with me. No matter how I tried to explain, he didn't (want to) understand, and thus confirmed the thoughts and fears I had about him. I've been struggling so hard to be the wife and mother my family deserve, and I'm out of energy. I thought that I could talk to him about this, but I saved this tool for last. My toolbox is empty and now that this last tool failed, I don't know what to do.

Fabela

Keets, I can't walk by myself, he will immediately suspect that I'm walking into town and I bet he won't let me out of the house. It's 9.30 pm, and I can't start too much cleaning either, because the kids are asleep. And this headache is killing me.

Bobbieka

You can't control other people's behavior. You can control your reaction to his behavior. I know that it hurts that he is not more understanding, but you are stronger than that hurt. Marriage hurts a lot. We always let each other down. You are so much more than someone else's reaction. You have come so far in a month. I'm sorry that he didn't see that, but that doesn't mean you should go backwards.

Keets

I feel your pain, I have a 12 year old who is below grade level and will be starting 7th grade in a special Ed class I have a son with sensory issues and is also in therapy which just drains me my 6 year old is fine but needy. I fight with hubby all the time how hard it is for me because I have to,deal it's the majority of it hn he is at work so he doesn't understand. He came home from work yesterday and sat down for 10 mins than I asked for help,cleaning and he blew up at me because I was home all day to clean and it didn't get done and he couldn't even have 10 mins to sit down after work. He knows I'm not supposed to,be cleaning that much and resting I was pissed off him all evening. Now I'm in bed again in so much pain from all the bending and cleaning because he would much rather cook dinner or do laundry and dishes. Something I could easily do myself he left the hard stuff for me. I told him I could have done that stuff and he says but you didn't, that hurts because I thought he was wanting me to heal so I was sort of taking it easy. he always turns it around and makes it about him and points out what I haven't been doing and it becomes a fight. Being a mom and wife is a hard job and sometimes husbands don't notice the small things we do. It's exhausting no matter how old your kids are. The longer i go being sober the more irritable I have noticed I have become and i nit pick for some reason I don't know why. But drinking won't fix any problems it will make fighting worse for us.

Sorry I don't have any advice but I get it too

Keets

I forgot where you were, it's only 1:46pm here

KiKi0615

Hi guys, I'm just checking in for the first time today. We took our son on a college visit all day & I'm exhausted from walking what seemed like 10 miles! I'm gonna take a nap & check back in later.

Fabela, I'm sorry you are struggling so much today. Just hang on! Each time you get through days like today without drinking your sober muscles will get stronger!

Lofty, I'm sorry you drank. Don't beat yourself up! Just move forward!

I'll check in after my nap. :-)

Keets

I agree my husband doesn't think the days I have been sober is impressive. If we talk about it he says he just doesn't get it he was drinking but not "an alcoholic" like me. I'd rather not talk to him and do,all that here or aa if I go. He has said a few times how a bee sounds good and says you can't have any like he is taunting me. He thinks he can just have a beer and that's it. I notice the changes in myself and am happy with what I see he " just doesn't get it though" so,that's why I'm here.

CaseyW

Scream in here Fabela. As much as you'd like. That's what we're here for.

I'm sorry you're hurting right now and that your talk with your husband didn't go well. Is there a quiet part of the house you can go to and just sit? Maybe your knitting would keep your hands and mind busy for a few minutes? Does Tylenol or ibuprofen help your headaches any? A nice hot bath? Just thoughts, sorry if none of them help any, wish I could do something more.

immri

Hi all, 530am can't sleep. Sorry to hear there's some of my lovely classmates struggling right now. Still half asleep and going to try to sleep again, but wanted to let you all know I'm thinking of you.
Hugs to you guys. ❤️

CaseyW

People from every corner of the world caring about each other. Even if you're not liking yourself too much right now, we've all got a great group of people who do like you and need you. Pretty amazing stuff here.

Bobbieka

Sweet dreams, immri!

Applekat

I'm back! It's all good. Today I won't drink.

Thank you, thank you all.

Fabela

I've just watched an entire episode of Grey's Anatomy, and DH came sneaking closer and closer and suddenly he was rubbing my feet. I'm not angry anymore, but I'm sad and very tired. Earlier this evening I arranged a playdate for DD2 tomorrow afternoon, which means that I set myself up for total sobriety tomorrow - until 7 pm. I'll worry about tomorrow evening later.

I love you guys so much... *happycry*

CaseyW

Good job checking in, Applekat!

And I'm glad you and your husband had a nice moment just now, Fabela. Sweet dreams!

KiKi0615

Hi again, took my nap & just wanted to check in again. My anxiety is through the roof today!!!

Anyway, Fabela...I knew you would make it! You're amazing!

Bobbieka

Am home. Alone. Not going to lie. Temptation was there today. Going to do some yard work and get dragged by my dogs. Talk to you guys in a bit.