SansaS

I loved this book OT. Have you read it?

SansaS

Are you going to a day spa?!? Did I miss this?! Day spas are my absolute favourite thing to do X

SansaS

I ended up calling in sick to work today. Been fighting off this sickness all week but yesterday it finally hit. Spending a day on the couch snuggling with my dog. This is the first time I've been sick since being sober. Have been feeling so good! Oh well. I still have an AV going on sometimes. The other night I went to my dads for dinner. We were ordering pizza and he had poured himself a glass of red and left it on top of the pizza menu Went I went to get the menu I had to pick up the glass of red. Mindlessly I almost took a sip but didn't do it. I would've loved a glass, and I'm sure I would've only had a glass or 2, but I know where that eventually leads. I just don't want it anymore. Being 'all or nothing ' is hard sometimes, but I choose 'nothing'.

SansaS

Was del posting in newcomers the other day? Are knb and coco posting in the April class?

SansaS

OT, we are close to making it to GoT! It's on here Monday 11am, not sure what time it's on where you are? So excited

Outonthetiles

Same thing here.
This is where I am. I miss long neck Budweisers.

Leezer

Sansa--I have the sniffles so I'm catching a cold I think. Besides allergies, I have not been sick since becoming sober, which is very rare for most of us. Every time I have quit in the past I always got sick from a bad cold or something.
Badger and OTT--I totally get what you mean. This time is different for me though, because I really realized 4 years ago that I had a probem with alcohol, and when I failed on SR instead of coming back and posting I never was able to moderate ever. SURE, I could have one drink, but I was MAD at that, too. I "could" moderate, but I didn't enjoy it at all.

So this time is different for me because I know where that first drink will lead.....and that is to a dark space that I can never revisit again. Like EVER.

SansaS

Leezer- maybe you need some Ben and jerrys to help you through your sniffles? I got a new flavour today- vanilla choc chip cookie dough.

ItsViolet

I've survived, made it to 60 days. Does anybody else have this feeling like working is just too much right now? I feel like recovery is the only major commitment I can focus on right now. It's like I just don't have the physical energy or emotional resources for much else. I get drained and depressed about having to do too much. And then there's the meltdown on Tuesday when I cried for hours because I had all this stuff come up and I wanted to drink, I spent twelve hours in and out of meetings and talking to sober friends and staying with them. Today I just wanted to relax and try to breathe (still trying to get over this upper respiratory/asthma thing) but I had to work. I have a ten-day vacation coming up on Monday, so I'm hoping that will help.

Maybe if I actually liked my job it would be different, I don't know. I used to just drink it all away, and now I'm finding it harder to tolerate how damaging it is to my well-being.

Funny I was feeling generally fine (with a few hiccups) until about day 45 or so...maybe it was getting seriously ill that threw me over the edge, don't know. I don't feel like this is a bad place I'm in, per se...it just feels real.

ItsViolet

I"ve been wondering what happened to them too. Hope they're ok

PHRD

SansaS I've only had two pedicures and two massages in my life. Just never treat myself or take care of myself - always others. Will spend lots of money if husband or kids wants something but it's difficult to justify spending on me. Well, I am going to get a pedicure soon (once my heel fully recovers) and want to book at least a mud wrap or something. Doesn't a whole day get a bit boring and long? I have no idea.

JL2014

I know I was feeling fine til 50-55 days then just blew up. Not drinking, but stressed out. I turned down a callin for my parttime job this weekend. I may not have the $ for the fishing trip now.
I'm thinking being off for 3 days in a row, I might start up Treadmilling and calisthenics . Weight loss is weighing on my mind, and I'm hoping it'll give me some stress relief.
It's a pizza Friday usually, but I may do something else now. The "what now" thing almost made me relapse, so I've got to try something else.

I'm not sure about counting days now. It's depressing to start at 1, but I think I'm just gonna count a week at a time, I can't keep up anyway anymore. Kind of up in the air for some reason. I think it's the accountability to you folks. Been a bad couple of days. 10-11 hrs to go. Let's get to it.

PHRD

Regarding the 45-50 days and my current zen. It used to be around 20 days I'd feel great, confident and in control and AV would say hey you don't have a problem, see you can quit so you are fine. Then I'd start drinking and trying my best to moderate.... unsuccessfully. Binge drinking... Speaking of crying... I'd always end up going to bed crying and going on and on about how stressed and unhappy I was. I'm really pretty happy this past year so it must have been because I was so unhappy with drinking all the time. What a confidence and control killer. Hard to be successful when you feel so powerless about something in your life that causes so many misteps, poor judgement calls, regrets and physical ailments. No way to live. So only after screwing up over and over again did I get to this point. The point where it is as clear as it can be that I don't like drinking anymore. I hate it. Oh my husband asked me to go get him a beer last night and I responded "Absolutely not, you go get your own beer" I could care less if he choses to have a couple but I sure as heck am not going to go out of my way to get him that crap!" lol

PHRD

JL How about mke your own taco night? Or salad? Kids love to choose what they want and buffet style meals. Lettuce, tom, black olives, sour cream, salsa. My favorite is to buy those faita wraps. Fry it in really hot oil. Put it on an upside down bowl. Take another bowl and push it onto the faita from the top. Then you've got crunchy, big, taco bowls! JL stop being so hard on yourself and worrying so much. Focus on just "being" this weekend. Be, live, give yourself a pass on any other thoughts. Find a good book, listen to more podcasts, go for a hike with your kids ( free and kids love that too) Have a great Friday! Maybe something good will happen at work, you never know!

JL2014

Thanks PHRD.
You're right .

OldTomato

Congrats on 60 days Violet!
I've been unemployed for half of my recovery so I can't comment much on working and recovery. I know when I'm job searching or attending interviews stirs up my urge to drink. I just think to myself "if I can get through this without a drink I'll be stronger for the next trigger."

OldTomato

Monday 9pm here Sansa, I won't be watching it until I can get round my friends house though. (Fingers crossed she'll let me in on the Tuesday )

OldTomato

Yes! It was great. I couldn't put it down! They've cast Emily Blunt as Rachel though, thought it was a bit odd.

amazingjoy

Yay Jeni for 80 days! That's awesome!

Congrats Violet for 60 days! It sounds like being sick has really drained you...I'm sure that is a big part of your funk. I'm sure you also put up with disliking your job differently when you were numb to it. So maybe see how you feel about it with some more time and after you get over being sick. You have been super strong through feeling so miserable you will hopefully be over that hump very soon! I hope you enjoy your vacation! Are you going anywhere?

Hi JL, we do make your own pizza nights too and my daughter loves that. I'm sure exercise will get your blood flowing and release all the good stuff in your brain that helps lift mood. :-)

Hi everyone else! It's my Friday and I'm in for another sober weekend!

I'm almost done with my book "This Naked Mind". It is really helping to change my brain so I am going to re-read it again right way to really let it stick to (or more like sink into) my brain.

OldTomato

So I've been looking at the vacancies at the supermarkets in my area and so far the best fit is the one I bought all my vodka from. They got to know me in there because of it. Awkward!