Mel12

Just checking in. Cutting back on socializing actually feels great. I think I am going to even go further in the direction of simplifying my routine.

Delizadee

Just from my own position in life, my observation would be that we can't get a good grasp on life matters until we have a grasp on sobriety.
I know this is a safe place for us to ventand try to hash out some of life's struggles with like minded people in similar situations to us.

I neither disagree or agree with what you're saying... but I kind of feel like you're kicking a guy when he's down (even though I'm sure you didn't intend to). I don't think telling someone who's feeling down that you skip their posts is not very productive... or thoughtful.

I can say that I have dealt with some pretty ludicrous thoughts in sobriety. ... and also some very black ones that I know I can't fix in a forum.

And I also know that I feel very understood and safe here with what I share and I appreciate everyone's honest feedback.

I'm also not trying to pick on you or make you feel badly... I do know that we can't change each others circumstances but we can offer our support. I have really struggled to put aside my ego even when I'm being offered advice or having hard facts put in front me I don't like.

I don't know what I'm trying to say really... I love you all so much and value every one of you. I guess... just do try to remember that we all came here with battered egos and sometimes if we don't have something productive to offer in support and something is bothering us we just need to take a step back, and maybe consider why.

Nobody wants to be a Debbie downer here but sometimes life just plain sucks sober or not.
Again, I love you all. I know a lot of us are going through a tough time and I'm thinking, hoping and praying for all of us.

Time2Rise

Hilarious, I had to laugh out loud at your observation.

Time2Rise

I actually feel I am offering JL something productive. I stand by my comments.

amazingjoy

Hi...just checking in today. I've caught up on the posts...

I'm feeling compelled to share my "mantra" song for those dark days/nights when all seems hopeless.

This is a song called "This Too Will Pass" from Carrie Newcomer's album, "The Age of Possibility".

I don't have any magic words to share with everyone who is struggling here or hurting...I find healing and comfort in music and this little song has been a big source of hope in my own life.

The saying that this will pass may seem trite...but it is inevitably, indisputably true. It might take one hour, one day, one year or ??? but things do change one way or another and the darkness can only last so long.

Here's to all my doodle family out there tonight...I hope you like this song. I recommend you play it loudly, close your eyes, breath deep and just listen... :-)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQtyG1FzFGc

Dee74

Guys I think there's a time for straight talking and a time for hugs.

That's pretty much agreed to - trouble is everyone has different ideas about when those times are.

I do believe that everyone here is trying to help - and I don't mind erring on that side of judgement.

I'd just ask everyone please to try and make sure of your motivations in posting.

Being annoyed or frustrated is not often a great motivation.
I think we can all agree on that.

We need to be trying to help.

Please lets continue to keep our comments useful, constructive, and orientated to solutions

D

Jeni26

Good morning all. Kittycat...I'm so happy to see you back here. I'd been wondering where you were hiding. You and I have been at this for a while now. What are your plans for sobriety? Are you going to try something new this time? It's really weird and will probably sound silly, but I bought myself a ring this time, it's like a wedding ring but I wear it on my little finger, and it symbolises my commitment to sobriety. I already wear 2 rings, and never take them off...one is my wedding ring, the other my Nan's wedding ring. To me, this time, my sobriety is as important as both of them.

JL...I'm sorry you are feeling so low. I totally get that. I have hit lows this time the like of which I've never had before. Alcoholism is progressive and the longer we are stuck in the addiction cycle, the harder it gets to break free. This is why I can never relapse again. Whatever the other issues in your life, I totally believe we need to get sober before we can see anything clearly enough to act rationally about it. Often getting sober makes other stuff harder initially because we have no refuge or place to hide without alcohol or drugs. Keep the faith that things will get clearer, you will have options, and you will instinctively know what you need to do.

Love to everyone. Sorry I don't reply to everyone individually, but I do read everything and I care very much for you all. OT, I hope you can find work soon, but maybe look at this time as valuable 'me time', try different meetings if you feel disconnected from the ones you've been to. I get that, I'm not a great meetings person either, I find it hard to fit in, but I've found 1 or 2 that I like better than the others and I stick with them. Have you a sponsor? Sorry, you've probably spoken about this before, but I get so behind with this thread!

For the past 2 days I have woken without anxiety. Prayer and meditation is really helping me to stay more balanced. I'm taking my Mum out for afternoon tea today, looking forward to spending time with her.

Have a great day everyone. Love to all ❤️

Paix Amour

Hi All

My son was discharged from hospital late this afternoon, so back home now. He was severely dehydrated from severe vomiting from rotavirus. Whilst still at home I was advised to give him 15mls of pedialyte every 15 minutes around the clock, which I did, but he kept vomiting it ALL back up. Once he become dehydrated....it was off to the A & E for us. They admitted him into a ward and put him on a drip for 3 days. The vomiting has only just subsided but now the OTHER end has started. Its just what happens as the virus works its way down the gastrointestinal track. I was worried about him, but not deeply concerned as I knew he would be ok. Its just a severe gastro virus. Not life threatening.

The other news is that after almost 3 weeks sober. Im on day 1 today :-( So many false starts. Im just too weak. I was even thinking about going out and buying some more as little as 30 minutes ago even though I still don't feel great from last nights bash (which was a late one)! I feel as though Im too far separated now from almost all of you because almost all of you are onto different phases now, that is, moved into months sober. Im thinking I might join April thread but kept posting a bit in here too.

Peace and love

Dee74

You're very welcome to join the April group as well PA

D

Jeni26

PA...I'm sorry to hear of your relapse. This is difficult for sure, and I think there's no problem in seeking help in as many threads or in as many ways as possible.

But please don't feel like you don't 'belong' here, because you are most certainly one of us and we all care a great deal for you. For me, it was that feeling of 'not belonging' that fed straight into my addiction and caused me a lot of pain.

I've belonged to a couple of threads, and although we may have all started together, there have been very few that have maintained long term sobriety without faltering along the way.

Do what you need to do, but we will always class you as one of our own ❤️

Paix Amour

Thanks Dee and Jeni

I don't think I don't belong here. Im not one to feel that way. I just feel as though newcomers are going through a similar phase to eachother so can relate a bit better maybe. Oh I don't know....it doesn't matter.....Ive joined April thread and will gather support (and offer support) from here too :-)

I really do want to stop drinking for good. Why cant I????????????????

Paix Amour

Oh and well done to you dearest Jeni. Im so proud of you! Soon being sober will feel completely normal, like the new you.

Paix Amour

I even said to a friend tonight.......I would sell my house and spend $500,000 on a single pill to make me a non alcoholic if such a pill existed! Such a dreadful disease/illness. Maybe in a few decades scientists will come up with some medication that makes alcoholics never ever want to drink, not even a drop.

SansaS

I know exactly how you feel PA. I keep wishing they'll come up with a blocker (like a heroin blocker) that you can get inserted in your leg that makes alcohol not work on you. I would go and get one tomorrow if I could. I respect your decision in joining the April group but hope you will hang around here too.

SansaS

Went and saw batman vs superman today at the movies. Had my first ever Ben and jerrys ice cream and omg! It was heaven.

Dee74

I liken it to a rocket ship - you know how to take off (stop drinking)- thats half the battle

now you have to get yourself that little extra thrust to escape the gravitational pull of your addiction and stay sober.

For me it was finding the right level of support, and using it faithfully whenever I had the urge to drink.

I also had to make changes - my life revolved around drinking.

Not so much socially at the end cos I drank at home, but drinking was my solution to everything :

bored...drink...sad..drink....angry.,drink...scare d...
drink...stressed...drink...

I had to learn to sit with some discomfort for a while, and that was hard - but that's where the support came in.

I was drinking all day everyday...if I can quit I really think anyone can

D

Paix Amour

And that's EXACTLY it Dee.

Perfect analogy!

I find stopping drinking after a session (NOT during a session) quite easy. I find it quite easy when I feel unwell and tired from the session the night before. I wake up not wanting to drink. Telling myself "that's it no more". The going is always good for 2 days until the gravitational pull starts up.

Gotta find the right lever alright.

And me too - drink through every emotion.

I know what youre saying Dee, if you can do it from where you were, then anybody can do it. It must have been a rough spot Dee. That gives me total inspirational that it can be done!

Paix Amour

And its good night from me zzzzzzz

OldTomato

Goodnight PA. Sorry to hear about your relapse, but I'm glad you decided to join the April class as well as sticking around here. Gather as much support as possible! Good to hear your son's out of hospital now.

OldTomato

What flavour?! Also, was the movie any good? I was debating whether or not to see it but the reviews weren't all that great.