Class of April 2016 Support Thread Part 1
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 451
Jade1224 - Working in a restaurant can be very difficult. I used to work in that environment and I can imagine how much harder that would be. I work in a different environment now where there is zero alcohol so that part is "easy" for me. You will have to really want to be sober and change your relationship with alcohol I'm sure. Do you have any ideas on how you can work on changing that?
strangeangel - amp123 talked about the tie between depression and alcohol. It is so true. It can be so difficult to see that while still romanticizing alcohol. There are literally hundreds of people here on SR who have been able to get and stay sober. I am going on faith when they say that if they can do it, anyone can do it and they also swear it does get better...better than we could imagine. I really believe you too can find your own sense of hope! As long as you continue trying with all your heart/might you will figure out what works for you.
emme99 - I'm sure you can make it today at your brother and sister-in-law's cookout. I think bringing your own drinks with you is a great idea and just being quick to say "no" if/when offered any alcohol...kick the AV right down and don't even give it a chance to think about it or negotiate with you!
canguy - Thanks for the encouraging words. I'm in the for another 24 hours!
strangeangel - amp123 talked about the tie between depression and alcohol. It is so true. It can be so difficult to see that while still romanticizing alcohol. There are literally hundreds of people here on SR who have been able to get and stay sober. I am going on faith when they say that if they can do it, anyone can do it and they also swear it does get better...better than we could imagine. I really believe you too can find your own sense of hope! As long as you continue trying with all your heart/might you will figure out what works for you.
emme99 - I'm sure you can make it today at your brother and sister-in-law's cookout. I think bringing your own drinks with you is a great idea and just being quick to say "no" if/when offered any alcohol...kick the AV right down and don't even give it a chance to think about it or negotiate with you!
canguy - Thanks for the encouraging words. I'm in the for another 24 hours!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 451
Originally Posted by strangeangel 
I'm sorry for being so negative. But every time I try and make the plan I fail. It seems hopeless now. I'm happy to know I'm not alone, but right now I really feel like I am. I'm hoping I'll have better attitude tomorrow. Curling up with a book and my pup now.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: London
Posts: 512
Hold on there straight angel. It seems tough at the moment because alcohol IS a depressant. A few days of sobriety under your belt and positivity will come.
You're not alone in this we all struggle and we all understand, one day at a time.... Just one day.
Stay strong.
Elle
You're not alone in this we all struggle and we all understand, one day at a time.... Just one day.
Stay strong.
Elle
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Santa Barbara, SoCal
Posts: 561
Amazing, it is hard. My AV was whispering in my ear yesterday. But I woke up this morning happy to have not drank yesterday. And thats what I look forward to now. My mornings! Before, I used to hate them
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Santa Barbara, SoCal
Posts: 561
I dont want my mornings to end. I wake up and make coffee and open the window and read or watch a show. Its a beautiful thing.
Tomorrow morning I am going to a meeting at 730. I like it cause I can go in my jammies lol.
And then a boxing class. Im putting in resumes for a second job and then a job interview at 2:15 and then I work tomorrow night. Busy day!
Tomorrow morning I am going to a meeting at 730. I like it cause I can go in my jammies lol.
And then a boxing class. Im putting in resumes for a second job and then a job interview at 2:15 and then I work tomorrow night. Busy day!
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 778
Originally Posted by amazingjoy
Good morning. I have read through all of the April class posts so far and it is nice to meet all of you.
I would like to join this class too. I started in January and moved to the February class but drank in March so I'm with Paix Amour and following her lead in joining the April class.
I'm on day 13 now (my 3rd time around). When I get to day 16 I will have made it farther than ever before. My short term goal is to make it to the end of April which will be 40 days and then I will make another goal from there.
I'm adjusting my plans and tools and finding out that for me, setting what I believe to be "attainable" goals seems to help. At first it was one day at a time but I believe I can really make it to this new goal after learning from my mistakes in Feb/March.
I'm also trying to post more here on SR (I read a lot but I'm kind of private and feel timid to post so I'm trying to get beyond that). :-)
I would like to join this class too. I started in January and moved to the February class but drank in March so I'm with Paix Amour and following her lead in joining the April class.
I'm on day 13 now (my 3rd time around). When I get to day 16 I will have made it farther than ever before. My short term goal is to make it to the end of April which will be 40 days and then I will make another goal from there.
I'm adjusting my plans and tools and finding out that for me, setting what I believe to be "attainable" goals seems to help. At first it was one day at a time but I believe I can really make it to this new goal after learning from my mistakes in Feb/March.
I'm also trying to post more here on SR (I read a lot but I'm kind of private and feel timid to post so I'm trying to get beyond that). :-)
Nice to see you.
I understand what youre saying, but for me its very much 1 day at a time. If I look too much ahead I get a bot overwhelmed at the mountain ahead of me. Its 1 foot in front of the other for me. 1 step at a time.
Weve gotta do what works for us.
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 778
Good Morning class
Day 2.
Its 10.30am here and my 24 hours is going well. Im almost half way through. Mind you most that time was spent asleep and the rest was/is the morning, and Ive never drunk in the morning. The test for me will be tonight.
I slept a little bit better last night. Still not a solid sleep though. Woke up every 2 hours or thereabouts from the sweats and tossing and turning and thirsty. Im not going to have a nap during the day today (to try and catch up on any lost sleep) because I want to be nice and tired for bedtime in a hope that a get a good solid sleep tonight.
The first 2 or 3 nights after heavy drinking are terrible for me....just terrible. Tonight will be night 3.
I hope everybody is having a great day.
Day 2.
Its 10.30am here and my 24 hours is going well. Im almost half way through. Mind you most that time was spent asleep and the rest was/is the morning, and Ive never drunk in the morning. The test for me will be tonight.
I slept a little bit better last night. Still not a solid sleep though. Woke up every 2 hours or thereabouts from the sweats and tossing and turning and thirsty. Im not going to have a nap during the day today (to try and catch up on any lost sleep) because I want to be nice and tired for bedtime in a hope that a get a good solid sleep tonight.
The first 2 or 3 nights after heavy drinking are terrible for me....just terrible. Tonight will be night 3.
I hope everybody is having a great day.
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 778
Thank you Jade. All the best today at your new restaurant job. Stay sober love.
I know exactly how this goes Jade, because Ive been through it so many times before
At least I know what to expect.
I will feel better tomorrow, then the cravings will start, and AV will start up. I never have cravings whilst feeling under the weather. So day 1 and 2 are usually fine.
I know exactly how this goes Jade, because Ive been through it so many times before
At least I know what to expect.
I will feel better tomorrow, then the cravings will start, and AV will start up. I never have cravings whilst feeling under the weather. So day 1 and 2 are usually fine.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Yeah...I have to respond to depression and alcohol.
I've had depression most my life. I don't remember not having it, but I remember my mom telling me when I was 12-14yrs old, that I used to be happy all the time. She put me in therapy.
Most of the time, it wasn't too bad. Especially if I took my meds. But man, once my drinking changed from weekends to having that beer so I could relax after work, everything changed.
I didn't realize it. Maybe it changed sooner than that. Probably did in fact. But I found myself drinking more and more of the years. Depression was getting worse and worse.
My drinking grew to the point I was drunk every second of every day. I'd wake up sometimes in the night and would have to take a shot or two to settle the panic attacks. Crazy crazy stuff.
But the depression. Oh. my. God.
I didn't care about my family any more after 15yrs marriage with an 11yr and 13yr old boy. I walked.
I didn't care about my 20yr career any more. I was fired. I stopped trying and cheated on reporting. Not once. I got demoted for that. Not twice, I got demoted for that again. But three times.
Suicidal idealization was real too. I had those thoughts as a young teenager. Went most my life without them. Until I was drinking all the time.
It was the suicidal thoughts and the panic attacks that prompted me to take action. I thought I was drinking to deal with my depression. I knew I was drinking too much, and was now having anxiety issues, which was new to me. I was feeling physically unhealthy on top of emotionally unhealthy.
When I quit drinking, it wasn't to help my depression. But man...when I did quit, my depression settled right back to "normal"! I had no idea. While here on SR, I started reading the connection. Didn't think the change would be so drastic.
Depression and alcohol does not mix. You could read it 1,000 times, but you won't believe it until you stop the crazy cycle.
I've had depression most my life. I don't remember not having it, but I remember my mom telling me when I was 12-14yrs old, that I used to be happy all the time. She put me in therapy.
Most of the time, it wasn't too bad. Especially if I took my meds. But man, once my drinking changed from weekends to having that beer so I could relax after work, everything changed.
I didn't realize it. Maybe it changed sooner than that. Probably did in fact. But I found myself drinking more and more of the years. Depression was getting worse and worse.
My drinking grew to the point I was drunk every second of every day. I'd wake up sometimes in the night and would have to take a shot or two to settle the panic attacks. Crazy crazy stuff.
But the depression. Oh. my. God.
I didn't care about my family any more after 15yrs marriage with an 11yr and 13yr old boy. I walked.
I didn't care about my 20yr career any more. I was fired. I stopped trying and cheated on reporting. Not once. I got demoted for that. Not twice, I got demoted for that again. But three times.
Suicidal idealization was real too. I had those thoughts as a young teenager. Went most my life without them. Until I was drinking all the time.
It was the suicidal thoughts and the panic attacks that prompted me to take action. I thought I was drinking to deal with my depression. I knew I was drinking too much, and was now having anxiety issues, which was new to me. I was feeling physically unhealthy on top of emotionally unhealthy.
When I quit drinking, it wasn't to help my depression. But man...when I did quit, my depression settled right back to "normal"! I had no idea. While here on SR, I started reading the connection. Didn't think the change would be so drastic.
Depression and alcohol does not mix. You could read it 1,000 times, but you won't believe it until you stop the crazy cycle.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,551
Originally Posted by strangeangel
I know I need a plan, but I just find them so daunting and I always fail. I think my plans going to have to be Antabuse so I can't even think about drinks. I'm in a real low right now. My marriage is a disaster and I just don't want to do life right now. I don't know how to keep going and to be positive. This cycle sucks and is so hard to break and I've tried so many times. I just don't have a lot of positive thought left. Any advice on how to keep going?
Strangeangel I think the biggest plan you need right now is the "stay sober today" things will begin to look up if we just stop this craziness. Only we can.
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 778
Hi Incontrol
I completely agree with you, and can completely relate. Whether its the chicken or egg first who knows, but my depression has followed my alcoholism and vice versa. Who knows if the alcoholism made my depression worse or whether my depression made my alcoholism worse? Regardless, they run in parallel. Im certain my depression will get gradually better than longer I remain sober.
I completely agree with you, and can completely relate. Whether its the chicken or egg first who knows, but my depression has followed my alcoholism and vice versa. Who knows if the alcoholism made my depression worse or whether my depression made my alcoholism worse? Regardless, they run in parallel. Im certain my depression will get gradually better than longer I remain sober.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 1,684
I caved early today. It's almost as if I don't want to be sober, but I do, but I don't. It's confusing and irritating yet I always go with the wrong side. With a little time off this week I figure I'll hit up AA. Only been one time. It was in support of another though it could have applied to me at the time.
Congrats to each on your days sober.
Congrats to each on your days sober.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
I really recommend adding as many things to your 'tool box' as you can thirteeth....that, and looking at the things you can change in your life to better reflect your desire to be sober.
You can do it
D
You can do it
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 1,684
Originally Posted by Dee74
I really recommend adding as many things to your 'tool box' as you can thirteeth....that, and looking at the things you can change in your life to better reflect your desire to be sober.
You can do it
D
You can do it
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 2,332
TimeSaves congrats on 3 days I drink a lot of tea too when I am having cravings. If it is late in the day, can you maybe go to bed early? Or eat something if you are hungry? Please don't drink it won't help anything. Welcome to the class
I drink a lot of tea too when I am having cravings. If it is late in the day, can you maybe go to bed early? Or eat something if you are hungry? Please don't drink it won't help anything. Welcome to the class
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,176
I experienced crazy mood swings in my early recovery. I would go from super happy to crushingly depressed within a few hours. It is to be expected. My brain was feeling emotions for the first time in a long time without being dulled by alcohol and it was scary.
It will take a while for each of you to rediscover who you really are while not relying on booze to deal with life. Emotions will likely feel brutally raw and intense and it can be frightening. I have read that one's emotional development is virtually stopped while one is abusing. I had a lot of growing up to catch up on once I quit.
Like Dee and others have said, have your toolbox ready. For me, I had playlists of my favorite music ready to go on my phone when I needed a boost. Go for a walk, lift some weights, whatever you need to do. The first few weeks are going to be quite a ride but each day you can make it through, the more confidence you will build.
It will take a while for each of you to rediscover who you really are while not relying on booze to deal with life. Emotions will likely feel brutally raw and intense and it can be frightening. I have read that one's emotional development is virtually stopped while one is abusing. I had a lot of growing up to catch up on once I quit.
Like Dee and others have said, have your toolbox ready. For me, I had playlists of my favorite music ready to go on my phone when I needed a boost. Go for a walk, lift some weights, whatever you need to do. The first few weeks are going to be quite a ride but each day you can make it through, the more confidence you will build.
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