Class of November 2015 Part 11
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Somerset
Posts: 933
Fast approaching seven calendar months for me and I'm still enjoying good mental and physical health. Possibly my longest run without a depressive episode for years.
This isn't all down to sobriety but I really am appreciating my abstinence and the undeniable joy in my life that is unfolding day by day.
It's a gift that I'm not taking for granted and my prayers and best wishes go to everyone who joined this class but no longer post here, some of whom I felt very close to.
I will not be drinking today.
This isn't all down to sobriety but I really am appreciating my abstinence and the undeniable joy in my life that is unfolding day by day.
It's a gift that I'm not taking for granted and my prayers and best wishes go to everyone who joined this class but no longer post here, some of whom I felt very close to.
I will not be drinking today.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 563
Glad to hear you are doing well, Tufty. I'm at six calendar months today. Wow! It really flew by. The obsession is gone; I no longer think about drinking; it's not something I do any longer, but I do acknowledge that it was a big part of my life in the past. There were some really fun times that it's fun to reminisce about but there are also the really bad times. The reason I don't drink anymore is that there are only bad times now when alcohol is involved. And my life without alcohol is amazing!
SR was the first place I came almost two years ago when my bf was "forcing" me to quit drinking. I didn't want to at the time, but I began to learn about sobriety and in time made my own decision to be sober. I have many tools I use to stay sober, AA being a big one, but SR was here for me in the beginning and I owe so much to the folks on this site, especially Dee 😃 Thank you all!!
SR was the first place I came almost two years ago when my bf was "forcing" me to quit drinking. I didn't want to at the time, but I began to learn about sobriety and in time made my own decision to be sober. I have many tools I use to stay sober, AA being a big one, but SR was here for me in the beginning and I owe so much to the folks on this site, especially Dee 😃 Thank you all!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Somerset
Posts: 933
Many congrats Swim, great news & well done.
So pleased you're in a good place and I'll mirror your gratitude to SR & that man Dee. I'm as certain as something that's very certain that I'd still be chucking it back now if it wasn't for this place.
So pleased you're in a good place and I'll mirror your gratitude to SR & that man Dee. I'm as certain as something that's very certain that I'd still be chucking it back now if it wasn't for this place.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 734
Hi Kim / Tufty,
Glad to hear you're both feeling well and congrats on 6 months Kim.
After many discussions about NA meetings and suggestions from
Counsellors that I attend some form of mutual aid and that maybe a good fit I went along to a meeting this evening close to where I live - as always I did take quite a bit from it and actually shared for the first time - need to build my confidence and self belief especially in a group situation as its something I struggle with massively until I get over the hurdle then there's no stopping me. social interaction on a face to face basis is something I need too and was a good bunch at the meeting tonight.
I'm getting there re the not wanting to drink or do drugs and most of the time I can safely say I'm happy with it but frustrations raise their head and I slip quite quickly into a child like sulk and wanting to kick it into touch along with anyone or anything that tells me I can't when I know I won't. Need to get past this and I can feel it losing its grip but want to find something more and not have the old ways / dry drunk scenario in my life.
Frustrations arose a bit at the weekend and until yesterday with the fact that this really is normally the start of my party time for the summer with booze fuelled trips and holidays galore - every year for the last 7 years it's been a 3 week full on binge from this week and a good few of my colleagues are away at an industry event that we attend every year followed by my annual holiday - I wasn't actually going to be attending anyway this year due to making a mockery of proceedings at last years event and the usual off the wall behaviour that really was both dangerous and irresponsible - something I'd got very good at over time but continued each and everytime without fail - the reason I realised that my very last escapade in November truly was the last straw before it all went west as I really had pretty much upset and alienated everyone around me with my drunken behaviour. Guess the missing out bit took hold again as they all got off and left me holding the can back in the office - flipped it on its head and decided I wasn't going to let it bother me after an initial slump and feeling sorry for myself yesterday morning / something that lasted a few hours - got my head together at a counselling session last night and this morning woke up thinking how lucky I was not to be waking in a foreign country wondering what I had done last night and who I had upset / insulted / embarrassed etc this time - thing was that only ever lasted a short time until I got back on it at the earliest opportunity the following day and repeat.
More I remind myself of what it led to the better and that I'm really not missing out on anything other that the chance to make a complete mess of my life.
Glad to hear you're both feeling well and congrats on 6 months Kim.
After many discussions about NA meetings and suggestions from
Counsellors that I attend some form of mutual aid and that maybe a good fit I went along to a meeting this evening close to where I live - as always I did take quite a bit from it and actually shared for the first time - need to build my confidence and self belief especially in a group situation as its something I struggle with massively until I get over the hurdle then there's no stopping me. social interaction on a face to face basis is something I need too and was a good bunch at the meeting tonight.
I'm getting there re the not wanting to drink or do drugs and most of the time I can safely say I'm happy with it but frustrations raise their head and I slip quite quickly into a child like sulk and wanting to kick it into touch along with anyone or anything that tells me I can't when I know I won't. Need to get past this and I can feel it losing its grip but want to find something more and not have the old ways / dry drunk scenario in my life.
Frustrations arose a bit at the weekend and until yesterday with the fact that this really is normally the start of my party time for the summer with booze fuelled trips and holidays galore - every year for the last 7 years it's been a 3 week full on binge from this week and a good few of my colleagues are away at an industry event that we attend every year followed by my annual holiday - I wasn't actually going to be attending anyway this year due to making a mockery of proceedings at last years event and the usual off the wall behaviour that really was both dangerous and irresponsible - something I'd got very good at over time but continued each and everytime without fail - the reason I realised that my very last escapade in November truly was the last straw before it all went west as I really had pretty much upset and alienated everyone around me with my drunken behaviour. Guess the missing out bit took hold again as they all got off and left me holding the can back in the office - flipped it on its head and decided I wasn't going to let it bother me after an initial slump and feeling sorry for myself yesterday morning / something that lasted a few hours - got my head together at a counselling session last night and this morning woke up thinking how lucky I was not to be waking in a foreign country wondering what I had done last night and who I had upset / insulted / embarrassed etc this time - thing was that only ever lasted a short time until I got back on it at the earliest opportunity the following day and repeat.
More I remind myself of what it led to the better and that I'm really not missing out on anything other that the chance to make a complete mess of my life.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 123
Hey guys.
Still here. Day 134. I made the mistake of having caffeine too late last night. So I don't sleep a wink.
Amazing how quickly a lack of sleep starts radio bs off in my head. I think the fact summer is coming doesn't help. I've had visions of taking the last of money and disappearing off to somewhere like Ibiza. I know it's daft though and I can rationalise. I've got a fantasy of the 20's I thought I should have had.
Take care. X
Still here. Day 134. I made the mistake of having caffeine too late last night. So I don't sleep a wink.
Amazing how quickly a lack of sleep starts radio bs off in my head. I think the fact summer is coming doesn't help. I've had visions of taking the last of money and disappearing off to somewhere like Ibiza. I know it's daft though and I can rationalise. I've got a fantasy of the 20's I thought I should have had.
Take care. X
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 734
Good to hear from you SV and that makes sense to me - had a bit of a wobble yesterday to say the least and was tuned into the same station !!
Same goes at the meeting I was at Wednesday evening I had a couple of coffees something I never usually do at night and was wide awake until the early hours which is not the norm for me at all - you punting that out is making me consider the lack of sleep may have contributed to the downturn in mood yesterday.
Away fora week with all the family from tonight in a big house in North Yorkshire, lovely part of the world a short run from Castle Howard where they filmed Brideshead Revisited - my plan for each morning along with a wide range of other activities - first time we've all got together properly for many years - none of them are really drinkers and all aware of my problems and where I'm upto - I booked the place last year and of course had a country pub directly opposite- the old me would have undoubtedly been the usual pain in the backside but won't be venturing in there now as not my thing at all at present - the barriers really have gone up on any socialising in such places just feel so utterly uncomfortable around it so found I'm better steering clear - I know some would say I shouldn't let it and need to deal with it however my wife really has come round to understanding where I am with it and is fully supportive with no pressure at all - she really is my rock and someone that I'm lucky to have by my side.
Have a great weekend guys (extended weekend in the Uk also with a public holiday on Monday).
Good to hear from anyone passing thro and reading to see what they are upto at present as Tufty said there's a good number of people that helped us on our way and we'd love to hear from you guys too.
Same goes at the meeting I was at Wednesday evening I had a couple of coffees something I never usually do at night and was wide awake until the early hours which is not the norm for me at all - you punting that out is making me consider the lack of sleep may have contributed to the downturn in mood yesterday.
Away fora week with all the family from tonight in a big house in North Yorkshire, lovely part of the world a short run from Castle Howard where they filmed Brideshead Revisited - my plan for each morning along with a wide range of other activities - first time we've all got together properly for many years - none of them are really drinkers and all aware of my problems and where I'm upto - I booked the place last year and of course had a country pub directly opposite- the old me would have undoubtedly been the usual pain in the backside but won't be venturing in there now as not my thing at all at present - the barriers really have gone up on any socialising in such places just feel so utterly uncomfortable around it so found I'm better steering clear - I know some would say I shouldn't let it and need to deal with it however my wife really has come round to understanding where I am with it and is fully supportive with no pressure at all - she really is my rock and someone that I'm lucky to have by my side.
Have a great weekend guys (extended weekend in the Uk also with a public holiday on Monday).
Good to hear from anyone passing thro and reading to see what they are upto at present as Tufty said there's a good number of people that helped us on our way and we'd love to hear from you guys too.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Somerset
Posts: 933
Just had a visit from an old enemy I thought had forgotten me.
My AV.
hot weather
beer in the house
people drinking in the garden.
I suppose it was inevitable that my AV would be triggered but man it was such a powerful memory/ trigger/ whatever.
I'm finding the sight and smell of wine repulsive. But the look of a cold beer, on a summer's day...that's a different matter.
I hope everyone is well, it would be great if some old faces popped by just to keep us updated.
I will not be drinking this evening.
Love to you all.
My AV.
hot weather
beer in the house
people drinking in the garden.
I suppose it was inevitable that my AV would be triggered but man it was such a powerful memory/ trigger/ whatever.
I'm finding the sight and smell of wine repulsive. But the look of a cold beer, on a summer's day...that's a different matter.
I hope everyone is well, it would be great if some old faces popped by just to keep us updated.
I will not be drinking this evening.
Love to you all.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 734
Hi mate,
Must admit I've stopped popping in here the last few days as it's been so quiet lately, thought I'd check if anyone had been in.
Know where you're coming from there but I realised something this morning that made me sit up and take note - I really don't drink anymore or do drugs and I want to let that go - I am an ex drinker and ex drug taker same as I am an ex smoker and that's something I never did again once I quit over 15 years ago (yes I still smoked weed for many years but I never touched cigs) just feeling my mindest has slipped over to that - not sure where or why it has become so apparent in this way to me but it feels quite liberating.
I was listening to Talksport on the radio on the way into work and the presenter (Alan Brazil) waffling about how great Paris was because of some bar he found yesterday and some fantastic champagne - you know what for the first time I didn't think oh woe I'm missing out I thought you know what I wouldn't swap that for where I am right now for anything in the world - my life was dominated and revolved around that very thing in fact it really was controlled by it - I'm free from that now and intend to make the most of this and how good its feeling.
Ice cold sparkling water mate with or without a twist of lime - mmmmmmmmmmmm.......the most refreshing drink known to man !!!
Had a few battles with the AV and also a few quiet whispers for the future but I seem to be dealing with it and working it out at present for what it is and putting it to rest pretty quickly.
Only major downer over the past few weeks was after our week away which was a great success and a good time we went to see Coldplay last sunday night, the wife loves them and I quite like them too - I am still struggling a bit with anything like that still where I associate it with the old days and went there a little apprehensive altho I guess if you put me there right now I would be happy with it - something clicking definitely - I know I've got to stop putting barriers up that are unnecessary too, anyway I digress we had great seats on the front row of the upper tier and as we were sat awaiting the start the wife nipped to get a bottle of water as she did she passed a friend who I didn't know was there and not seen since last October, I still wasn't aware of his presence as he came up behind me all I felt was soaking wet as I ended up covered in beer - didn't dawn on me at the time that it was an accident as he bent over to say hello & speak in my ear whilst holding 4 beers in a holder and had already had a few - he started to speak and ask if I'd been out on the beer - I lost the plot and went absolutely mad at him - wife returned and could see how my mood had absolutely plummeted to be honest I just wanted out of there and it hadn't even started - couldn't turn round or anything - didn't know who he was with or where he was sat but calmed down and the wife said don't let it ruin your night - I realised they were 1 row behind and a few seats to the side so I went over and apologised for my reaction - he shook my hand and said sorry mate I completely forgot and well done as he was one of the lads who I used to be out with regularly - felt bad about it and really should know how to let it go and switch the mood back but couldn't sort my head out at all - especially as I stunk of ale - the show was pretty spectacular but in all honesty at that time all I could think about was this really wasn't for me anymore at this type of event - any event like that in the past I was away with the fairies pretty much and was thinking I'm happier staying away from such reminders, however this feeling that I'm getting right now of ex drinker etc may start to release a bit of the pressure - not all of a sudden going to be going out everywhere again but want to feel that I can do things without that panic of being around people and not being part of the club - I'm happy with where I am at and that's what counts, not what others are doing.
Life is good and I'm feeling really positive right now.
Must admit I've stopped popping in here the last few days as it's been so quiet lately, thought I'd check if anyone had been in.
Know where you're coming from there but I realised something this morning that made me sit up and take note - I really don't drink anymore or do drugs and I want to let that go - I am an ex drinker and ex drug taker same as I am an ex smoker and that's something I never did again once I quit over 15 years ago (yes I still smoked weed for many years but I never touched cigs) just feeling my mindest has slipped over to that - not sure where or why it has become so apparent in this way to me but it feels quite liberating.
I was listening to Talksport on the radio on the way into work and the presenter (Alan Brazil) waffling about how great Paris was because of some bar he found yesterday and some fantastic champagne - you know what for the first time I didn't think oh woe I'm missing out I thought you know what I wouldn't swap that for where I am right now for anything in the world - my life was dominated and revolved around that very thing in fact it really was controlled by it - I'm free from that now and intend to make the most of this and how good its feeling.
Ice cold sparkling water mate with or without a twist of lime - mmmmmmmmmmmm.......the most refreshing drink known to man !!!
Had a few battles with the AV and also a few quiet whispers for the future but I seem to be dealing with it and working it out at present for what it is and putting it to rest pretty quickly.
Only major downer over the past few weeks was after our week away which was a great success and a good time we went to see Coldplay last sunday night, the wife loves them and I quite like them too - I am still struggling a bit with anything like that still where I associate it with the old days and went there a little apprehensive altho I guess if you put me there right now I would be happy with it - something clicking definitely - I know I've got to stop putting barriers up that are unnecessary too, anyway I digress we had great seats on the front row of the upper tier and as we were sat awaiting the start the wife nipped to get a bottle of water as she did she passed a friend who I didn't know was there and not seen since last October, I still wasn't aware of his presence as he came up behind me all I felt was soaking wet as I ended up covered in beer - didn't dawn on me at the time that it was an accident as he bent over to say hello & speak in my ear whilst holding 4 beers in a holder and had already had a few - he started to speak and ask if I'd been out on the beer - I lost the plot and went absolutely mad at him - wife returned and could see how my mood had absolutely plummeted to be honest I just wanted out of there and it hadn't even started - couldn't turn round or anything - didn't know who he was with or where he was sat but calmed down and the wife said don't let it ruin your night - I realised they were 1 row behind and a few seats to the side so I went over and apologised for my reaction - he shook my hand and said sorry mate I completely forgot and well done as he was one of the lads who I used to be out with regularly - felt bad about it and really should know how to let it go and switch the mood back but couldn't sort my head out at all - especially as I stunk of ale - the show was pretty spectacular but in all honesty at that time all I could think about was this really wasn't for me anymore at this type of event - any event like that in the past I was away with the fairies pretty much and was thinking I'm happier staying away from such reminders, however this feeling that I'm getting right now of ex drinker etc may start to release a bit of the pressure - not all of a sudden going to be going out everywhere again but want to feel that I can do things without that panic of being around people and not being part of the club - I'm happy with where I am at and that's what counts, not what others are doing.
Life is good and I'm feeling really positive right now.
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,172
Originally Posted by SwimKim12 
Glad to hear you are doing well, Tufty. I'm at six calendar months today. Wow! It really flew by. The obsession is gone; I no longer think about drinking; it's not something I do any longer, but I do acknowledge that it was a big part of my life in the past. There were some really fun times that it's fun to reminisce about but there are also the really bad times. The reason I don't drink anymore is that there are only bad times now when alcohol is involved. And my life without alcohol is amazing!
SR was the first place I came almost two years ago when my bf was "forcing" me to quit drinking. I didn't want to at the time, but I began to learn about sobriety and in time made my own decision to be sober. I have many tools I use to stay sober, AA being a big one, but SR was here for me in the beginning and I owe so much to the folks on this site, especially Dee 😃 Thank you all!!
SR was the first place I came almost two years ago when my bf was "forcing" me to quit drinking. I didn't want to at the time, but I began to learn about sobriety and in time made my own decision to be sober. I have many tools I use to stay sober, AA being a big one, but SR was here for me in the beginning and I owe so much to the folks on this site, especially Dee 😃 Thank you all!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 734
Yeah got to say that's how I am now feeling too - this upturn in mood and feeling good about things has also pretty much coincided with me getting back on my fitness regime which includes cutting out sugar completely - clean eating etc - I always thought that the real rough part that I was feeling through the times I've previously done this for fitness in the first week was down to the change in diet and cutting out the sugar etc - to be honest this last week hasn't really been any issue at all and some of the ones previously have been pretty much hell on earth for a few days, in all honesty looking back always at the end of a good few weeks / months of heavy sessions - probably something else that was causing me the issues and in truth.
At last I'm not missing it and not looking back wishing that I wasn't missing out -it feels great like this and I'm honestly feeling truly happy, not going to get carried away as I have had this feeling at times over the past few months but certainly going to enjoy it at the present and keep doing what I'm doing to make it work and continue in this manner.
Funnily enough I had a drinking dream last night - not had one for a while - AV trying as he knows he really is losing his grip - I woke up and smiled and just let it go - those pints would only put a smile on my face if they were sparkling water - saying that the amount of that I'm drinking is ridiculous too - never off the loo !!!
Have a great week all.
At last I'm not missing it and not looking back wishing that I wasn't missing out -it feels great like this and I'm honestly feeling truly happy, not going to get carried away as I have had this feeling at times over the past few months but certainly going to enjoy it at the present and keep doing what I'm doing to make it work and continue in this manner.
Funnily enough I had a drinking dream last night - not had one for a while - AV trying as he knows he really is losing his grip - I woke up and smiled and just let it go - those pints would only put a smile on my face if they were sparkling water - saying that the amount of that I'm drinking is ridiculous too - never off the loo !!!
Have a great week all.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Somerset
Posts: 933
I've decided instead to get something sharp and stick it in my eye before getting something even sharper and sticking it in my other eye.
Meh, try again next week. :-(
Hope all's well in your world Andy.
And the answer to the other question is...
....still haven't heard yet.
Meh, try again next week. :-(
Hope all's well in your world Andy.
And the answer to the other question is...
....still haven't heard yet.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
