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Class of March 2016 Support Thread Part 4

Old 03-22-2016, 06:27 PM
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Good Evening Everyone, cant believe we are on Part4. Today was an extremely busy day. I got stuck on filling out an application so I wasn't able to meet my goal today. No calls today so I am chalking it up to being to soon. I am exhausted tonight so I don't have a lot to say but I am praying for everyone and wishing you all a good nights sleep. Talk to you in the am.

Jack123, congrats on 74 days sober. Sometimes we have to take a step back to take a step forward so tomorrow is a new day.

CaseyW - thank you for the wonderful words of encouragement. I am excited to have this over.

Happy birthday Bobbieka
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Old 03-22-2016, 06:29 PM
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Originally Posted by tumbleweedgirl View Post
I think I am going to refrain from any further posting tonight by shutting my computer off. I hope I'll be back tomorrow with a new sense of purpose. Or at least to talk to everyone here about how to improve.
Ok tumbleweed. No worries! See you tomorrow and hang in there! :-)
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Old 03-22-2016, 06:30 PM
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i hope you'll be back and feeling better tomorrow too tumbleweedgirl
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Old 03-22-2016, 06:41 PM
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Just popping on to say Goodnight. It hasn't been a great night. Just feeling sad (about not being able to get this right) and moody. I was so impatient with my 6 yo tonight and I feel bad. I am tired and frustrated and just want to start a new day. On a positive note, I am going to bed sober. I had a few triggers tonight, but no cravings. Hopefully my AV has killed itself ... lol wishful thinking huh

Talk to you in the morning. Thank you to everyone for being here and for your support. I just wrote in my journal that I am thankful today for SR
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Old 03-22-2016, 06:48 PM
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Sitting in the hotel room on a business trip trying hard not to give in to the cravings. I usually don't drink while traveling (one of the few rules that I can stick to)... But, I'm going on 12 days sober and its making the cravings that much more intense. Missing my home, my loved ones, and my dogs. Missing the buzz too. Damn... This is hard.
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Old 03-22-2016, 07:01 PM
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Welcome Jack and tumbleweed

You made it through the worst day Ladybug It only gets better from here. I am irritable with my kids the first day or two also though. I felt sad and out of it all day too. This time has really shown me that I can't keep carrying on like this. I think part of me (my AV) kept telling myself that maybe it won't be so bad to have some good sober stretches and then drink a few days, maybe that's the life I'm intended for. But this time I saw not only how quickly things can escalate, but also that it's taking me longer to pull out of it. What if next time I can't pull out of it, or something really bad happens?

I am also looking around me and noticing all the things I didn't take care of like I usually do because I was drinking - just basic things like putting away laundry or wiping down the bathroom counters or taking care of paperwork. Just lost time, and for nothing.

I am grateful for all of you here as well. I know I've been babbling today here and there....
Grateful for a sober day and some sober sleep
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Old 03-22-2016, 07:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Ladybug2 View Post
Just popping on to say Goodnight. It hasn't been a great night. Just feeling sad (about not being able to get this right) and moody. I was so impatient with my 6 yo tonight and I feel bad. I am tired and frustrated and just want to start a new day. On a positive note, I am going to bed sober. I had a few triggers tonight, but no cravings. Hopefully my AV has killed itself ... lol wishful thinking huh Talk to you in the morning. Thank you to everyone for being here and for your support. I just wrote in my journal that I am thankful today for SR
Nite Ladybug. Hang in there! Tomorrow will be better. :-) (((cyber hug)))
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Old 03-22-2016, 07:13 PM
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Originally Posted by NotLuke View Post
Sitting in the hotel room on a business trip trying hard not to give in to the cravings. I usually don't drink while traveling (one of the few rules that I can stick to)... But, I'm going on 12 days sober and its making the cravings that much more intense. Missing my home, my loved ones, and my dogs. Missing the buzz too. Damn... This is hard.
Hang in there Luke and don't listen to your AV! Think all the way through the drink to the way you will feel tomorrow. You will feel miserable! You can do this. Just don't drink today. Are you feeling a little better?
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Old 03-22-2016, 07:17 PM
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Originally Posted by forabetterlife View Post
Welcome Jack and tumbleweed You made it through the worst day Ladybug It only gets better from here. I am irritable with my kids the first day or two also though. I felt sad and out of it all day too. This time has really shown me that I can't keep carrying on like this. I think part of me (my AV) kept telling myself that maybe it won't be so bad to have some good sober stretches and then drink a few days, maybe that's the life I'm intended for. But this time I saw not only how quickly things can escalate, but also that it's taking me longer to pull out of it. What if next time I can't pull out of it, or something really bad happens? I am also looking around me and noticing all the things I didn't take care of like I usually do because I was drinking - just basic things like putting away laundry or wiping down the bathroom counters or taking care of paperwork. Just lost time, and for nothing. I am grateful for all of you here as well. I know I've been babbling today here and there.... Grateful for a sober day and some sober sleep
I totally relate to all the "lost time" FABL. The last 2.5 years my drinking REALLY increased and I literally feel like those years completely disappeared. I can't think about it too much or I started feeling so much shame & regret that it makes me want to drink MORE. Stupid, right?

Anyway...if I learn something from my past & it makes me a better person maybe it will be worth it?
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Old 03-22-2016, 07:29 PM
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Absolutely Kiki! We have to learn from our mistakes. I do know what you mean though, there was one point today, when I had a split second thought because I was so sick of feeling so low, that I wanted to just continue drinking. We can't even give those thoughts a moment's consideration.
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Old 03-22-2016, 07:59 PM
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Keeping this reasonably short tonight as I'm pooped after a long day of work. All is good here, but I'm ready to go lay in bed with a good book for a while. I'm off the next two days except I have to be up way too early at work for a useless quick meeting in the morning. Oh well, I'm just grateful for my job.

Finishing up day 10. It's good to be back in the double digits. Typically for me days 7 to 12 or so are really hard, but so far I haven't had a craving one. Think I'm still on a bit of a natural high from facing my shame and embarrassment in coming back here. Whatever is the reason, I'll take it.

Originally Posted by Ladybug2 View Post
Just feeling sad (about not being able to get this right)
If you're going to bed sober tonight, then you got it right for today, Ladybug2. Don't be so hard on yourself. Give your little one a big hug and a kiss. She'll forgive you immediately. Kids are great like that.

Grab yourself something sweet to eat out of a vending machine or something, NotLuke. Or watch some bad brainless television. Or maybe take a long hot bath. 12 days is great, and these cravings have no real power over you and will pass if you only give it a little time. Hope you'll check in as much as you need to tonight. I'm thinking of you.

Originally Posted by forabetterlife View Post
Absolutely Kiki! We have to learn from our mistakes. I do know what you mean though, there was one point today, when I had a split second thought because I was so sick of feeling so low, that I wanted to just continue drinking. We can't even give those thoughts a moment's consideration.
Good on you for not engaging with that thought. That's progress.

Welcome to the class, Jacks123 and tumbleweedgirl. We've got some great support going here and I look forward to growing with you in our recovery from addiction.

Hope everyone who hasn't checked in today does so soon. Wishing a great afternoon and evening to our Australian members--Immri and Mish and anyone else I may have missed--and sweet dreams to everyone else. Remember you don't have to take that first drink today no matter what. Doesn't matter if you're happy or sad or lonely or jealous or angry or celebratory or bored, you don't have to take that first drink. It won't make things better and will probably only make them worse.
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Old 03-22-2016, 08:03 PM
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I can't believe the stuff I neglect while drinking too. Even This last time, I only drank for 3 days, so my house and work had been in order before that, but in just those few days of non stop drinking I accumulated so much laundry, dirty carpets, horrid bathroom, so many unanswered important emails, plates etc left around, behind in my studies....how can so much go wrong so quickly?? It's alarming, I must come through like a tornado when drunk.
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Old 03-22-2016, 08:05 PM
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Winding down my night now after a late dinner with some news -- prayers for Brussels!! -- and then some reading before bed.

Several of the neighborhood kids were out and about when we came home after I got my daughter after school, so I let her play outside well past normal dinner time. I chatted with some neighbors who were drinking. I had a bottle of water with me, which I finished and was asked if I wanted a beer or another bottle of water. I happily accepted a water without so much as a flinch. I'm still upset over last night, so no way I was going to throw today away too.

My daughter and I are enjoying our time together more when I am sober. She's entering a seemingly new stage that is much more tween like than I am ready for. I have to keep my wits about me!! She's a great kid. I'm so lucky she's mine.

Thankful for a sober day!
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Old 03-22-2016, 08:06 PM
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notluke - i hope you hang in there, I know it's hard but it'll be harder if you drink. homesickness plus cravings is rough, but i know you can make it through and we're all here for you.
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Old 03-22-2016, 08:08 PM
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thanks for your post as always Casey, always so supportive and welcoming, so glad you're here with us! have a good night.



EDIT - sorry i meant these to be one post, i'll stop spamming you all now!
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Old 03-22-2016, 08:33 PM
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Popping in to say goodnight.
Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day and I can catch up with you all properly.
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Old 03-22-2016, 08:40 PM
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Originally Posted by forabetterlife View Post
Absolutely Kiki! We have to learn from our mistakes. I do know what you mean though, there was one point today, when I had a split second thought because I was so sick of feeling so low, that I wanted to just continue drinking. We can't even give those thoughts a moment's consideration.
No we can't! I find that the more I think about or consider drinking the more powerful my AV gets. Lately I have literally been screaming "NO! SHUT UP AV! I am not listening to your lies!" Sometimes I silently scream inside my own head so people around me don't think I'm crazy (ha) but if I'm alone in my house or car I SCREAM at it & tell it to go back to hell where it came from!
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Old 03-22-2016, 08:44 PM
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Great job on 10 days Casey! Double digits! Woohoo! :-)
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Old 03-22-2016, 08:46 PM
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Originally Posted by immri View Post
I can't believe the stuff I neglect while drinking too. Even This last time, I only drank for 3 days, so my house and work had been in order before that, but in just those few days of non stop drinking I accumulated so much laundry, dirty carpets, horrid bathroom, so many unanswered important emails, plates etc left around, behind in my studies....how can so much go wrong so quickly?? It's alarming, I must come through like a tornado when drunk.
I totally relate to this ^^^. It's overwhelming trying to catch up AND stay sober. I've learned to just focus on staying sober & if that's all I accomplish for the day then so be it!
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Old 03-22-2016, 08:48 PM
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Originally Posted by clearlyheaded View Post
Winding down my night now after a late dinner with some news -- prayers for Brussels!! -- and then some reading before bed. Several of the neighborhood kids were out and about when we came home after I got my daughter after school, so I let her play outside well past normal dinner time. I chatted with some neighbors who were drinking. I had a bottle of water with me, which I finished and was asked if I wanted a beer or another bottle of water. I happily accepted a water without so much as a flinch. I'm still upset over last night, so no way I was going to throw today away too. My daughter and I are enjoying our time together more when I am sober. She's entering a seemingly new stage that is much more tween like than I am ready for. I have to keep my wits about me!! She's a great kid. I'm so lucky she's mine. Thankful for a sober day!
Great job turning down that beer & drinking water! Water's better for you anyway. ;-)
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