I hope you have a good sleep and wake feeling better tomorrow Immri :)

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Nothings is selfish here, immri. Feel free to vent. Good night to you, tomorrow is a fresh new day. :)

Good day all! It's amazing how much reading all these posts keeps me going. My good thoughts go out to all. Special prayers go out to those who are struggling. Never give up. I gave up for way too long.

We went out for dinner last night, first time since my getting sober. My wife enjoys going out and I don't want to deny her that. It was midweek, quiet, so not a mob of Friday-night Happy Hour drinkers. I wouldn't want to be stuck in that right now and I think she knows that.

I opened the menu and--boom!--drinks was my very first thought. But I ignored the beer list, ignored the wine list. And then something odd happened: I just felt sad, like I was mourning the loss of a loved one or something.

I looked at her glass of wine, I don't deny her that either, it's my problem not hers, and I looked at the glass and thought, well it's dead now, dead and gone. No cravings at all, just a sense of loss, the end of a chapter in life.

Does that make any sense? It didn't feel dangerous. And you'll be hearing from me the moment it does.

Another night of troubled sleep. The melatonin did nothing again (I'm giving up on that). My restless leg syndrome is back (RLS) which can drive a person batty at 2:30 AM. Alcohol quenches that and at one point I got a little pissy with the whole thing and thought, dang it, 2-3 quick shots and my legs would calm down and my mind would calm down and I could get some sleep! I didn't like that. I did get some sleep after that, though.

This morning I'm good again, and feeling strong.

Please all of you, be strong today. I mentioned prayer in my opening, and let me tell you that's not something I do. But lying awake last night I thought of you all, and especially the ones who had trouble yesterday, and I prayed. We can do this.

Good morning all. Day 4 and a much better sleep last night. Woke up early this morning to go for a blood draw for routine lab work. Haven’t had it done since 2013, basically because I tend avoid it when I’m drinking or when my weight is up or both. 2015 I had little or no success with weight loss or drinking, I pretty much threw my hands up on the air on both fronts after my father’s death. At 45, I know I should be more diligent with getting this stuff done. I think I still feel like I’m too young to have to worry about it, like in my head I’m still 30 years old. Crazy.

AOS, I’m sorry you drank and that you feel awful. The best you can do is pick yourself up and learn from it.

Fabela, 9 days is fantastic! And it sounds like you are going to have a great day, your happiness is shining through your post :)

Justquit, Day 8, and 1step , day 6, yay! Whalaska, day one is over and done:)

Kwhite, good luck on the job search….

Kgirl, drinking isn’t fun for me either anymore. I don’t even drink socially anymore, so that makes it even more pathetic. “Why bother” is great response to that AV.

Immri, sorry you are feeling down tonight, hopefully a good sleep with restore your mood.

Had another confrontation with my mother over the phone last night. Our relationship is not an easy one. I try not to let it get to me, after losing my father I realize she will not be around forever, but she can be so cutting and hurtful that I also feel like I need to stand up for myself. It’s a fine line, but I always end up feeling guilty.

My girls and I are going to take the dogs over to my stepmom’s and let them run around in the fenced in yard. Our new one is quiet this morning, but once he gets riled up, he is so hard to settle down. I’m becoming very anxious about putting him in the crate when we go back to school on Monday. Anxiety over things like that, or finances, or my mother are big triggers for me, so I need to be careful.

I am feeling peaceful this morning and noticing what a far cry this is from how I was feeling just a few days ago. I really don’t ever want to feel like that again, and I have to get it through my thick head that it will never be any different or any better. A choice to drink one night, or one day, propels me into a few days (or more) binge, and it’s utter misery to be in it and to come out of it.

Love to all on this Thursday morning. No matter what day you are on, don’t drink today, one day at a time …..

forabetterlife, glad to hear that you are feeling peaceful. It is a good feeling. I feel the same way about my mother as you do, there's this ambivalence in the relationship. I know she won't last forever, but I still feel this guilt. What is it with mothers and guilt? Have a fun day with the dogs! I want a dog so badly, there is a dogshaped hole in my heart, but my husband says no. :(

Checking in quickly first thing this AM. I'll go back and read when I have a bit more time.

I slept great last night! I know I'm still very early in recovery, but I decided to not count days and rather just focus on the 24 hours at hand. Counting days caused some obsessive thinking about what day I was on and I think gave a bit too much power to AV.

I'll check in again a little later and get caught up in posts. Have a wonderful sober Thursday everyone!

Today is the end of the work week for me. I am throwing a baby shower for my second coming grandchild! Soon we will have 2 little girls in our family. My sister is coming in from Wisconsin. I am really looking forward to the weekend.
It's a bit odd though. This has always been a drinking weekend for us. Wine flowing, going to a bar with my sister to sing terrible karaoke. I have so much support at home though, I truly am grateful. The support here is beyond amazing. I think I just hit the jackpot all around. Wish I could have done this sooner, but I wasn't ready.

Everyone have a great day. Know you are all in my thoughts.

Sober on, my classmates!!

Sorry to post again so quickly. I thought about my last post and realized I had it all wrong. I wasn't mourning the loss of alcohol, which just about killed me; I was mourning the final dashed hope that I could ever drink again. I can't, ever, and I have to live with that now.

Or possibly it was some of both. It's like living in a new country.

Hey, that's a good sign.

Pelagic I relate to the feeling of sadness without the craving. It's normal I think. Just be on guard that cravings can still creep in every now and again for sure. Also have you tried sleepy time tea with valerian root? Or just a simple banana before bed especially for the RLS. The magnesium in the banana could help.

Tee is wonderful! I've had two cups already, soon on number three. And something weird happened; I sat here, longing for a beer, but when I imagined myself reaching for one, I hesitated. It's just not worth it.

Welcome Philip!! Just remember, one day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time in the beginning. Give it a week and see how well you sleep without the alcohol...you may be pleasantly surprised :)

Starting day 12 here. It's cold here this morning--lower 40s, I'm guessing. Seems ridiculous to turn on the heaters when it was in the 90s just a day or two ago. That wonderful West Texas weather.

I'm off work again today. Wednesday and Thursday are my normal days off. I will get some of that spring cleaning I mentioned yesterday done today. I really need to do laundry but I've already pretty much decided to put it off until tomorrow morning. I don't have a washer/dryer myself so always take my laundry over to my dad's house to do. I don't want to deal with them today. Love my dad and step-mom to pieces, but they smoke and they're getting very loud in their old age and I'm just not in the mood for them and their smoke and their Fox News today. Maybe I'll change my mind once I get a little more awake.

The last few years of my drinking I've become anything but the party person, Bobbieka. I moved to this city 3 years ago in yet another attempt to sober up. The fact that I no longer had my regular bars or bar friends to hang out with did get me out of those habits. Led to a lot of solitary drinking at home alone. That's probably a good thing now as the bar and party lifestyle now has no appeal to me at all. Your weekend with your sister and the shower sound like a wonderful plan to me. You really are doing great.

Like I said, immri, hunger is the easiest trigger to fix but it's also the easiest one to forget. Glad I was able to remind you of it. And now I just saw your post from 2.5 hours ago. Hope you're doing OK now. Don't ever apologize for a "selfish" post. Talking these things out is what this class is for. I'm hoping you're fast asleep now, but just now I'm thinking of you.

Glad you checked in and are doing well, Sumi. Your early morning posts were missed.

I'm with you, Lance40. Anytime I've had some decent runs of sobriety and been in an AA meeting, seeing someone come back in and get a 24 hour chip after drinking again I definitely had a feeling of "Thank goodness, they're in for some wonderful stuff again."

Enjoy your sober treat night, janeeb! That sounds like such a pleasurable thing to do. Congrats on day 3!

Good job checking in and staying accountable on day 3, azure808. Hope things are going well.

Sorry you decided to drink again, ArgentOfSilvae. Yeah, leaving booze in the house has never worked for me. I always end up drinking it sooner rather than later. It's a sign I'm not fully committing. Glad you're back here with us and on the right path. Make this time different. Good luck with the tests today.

Fabela! So glad to hear you're feeling good and have a solid plan for day 9. These first few weeks can be a roller coaster. We're here for you if you need us. I can't tell you how proud I was of you yesterday. You helped keep me sober by my witnessing you do the right thing when things were rough for you. Thank you for that! And feel free to share those famous rolls with the rest of the class.

Applying for five jobs doesn't sound like a relaxing day to me, Kwhite, but I'm glad you've got a solid plan going for the day. Stay close!

Congrats on day 8, JustQuit2016!

I wish I lived in a place where I could tend a little garden, 1stepup. That's actually one of my goals I've set myself for the next few months--moving into a place that I like better. A garden is definitely on that wish list. I think the moving is an attainable goal. The garden part might not be as housing is ridiculously expensive where I live.

Good to see you check in, kgirl41. Couldn't agree more about the drinking stopping being fun years ago. It became a chore and a burden and it's absolutely crazy that I've kept doing it as long as I have. My life is so much better without alcohol fueling it.

You got a lot of great advice in your thread about drinking again, whatalaska. I'm so glad you're still here with us and ready to move forward in your recovery. Remember it's the first drink that gets us drunk. Steer clear of that first one and all will be ok.

Not drinking is not the sad ending of a chapter in your life, Pelagic263. It's the exciting beginning of a whole new book! Thank you for your prayers. I'm not really a praying type of person either, but you folks are in my thoughts for much of the day.

Good on you for getting that blood work done, forabetterlife. That's a fear I need to face myself. It's been way too long. Years and years. Thank you for your honest post.

Glad you got a good night's sleep, clearlyheaded. Congrats on waking up sober for another great day in recovery!

Good to see you check in, Applekat. How are you doing today? Your husband is back home today, right?

If you haven't checked in yet today, hope you'll do so soon. I'd especially love to hear from Ladybug2 and Surrender2win as those two have seen me at the best and worst of my recovery here at SR.

Remember you don't have to take that first drink today no matter what!

Thank you so much Bobbie! I really appreciate the prayers! :-)

Thank you Lance. You're probably right, people in AA will probably just be glad to see me. They really are some of the kindest, non-judgmental people I have ever met (except you guys). :-)

Casey you are SO good! Yes hubs is back late tonight. Still means solo bedtime for me so it's no help. We all have our hard stuff I know! I'm very, very sleep deprived. Just need to get through baby's next tooth and her bad cold and then hopefully get on a more predictable schedule. :)

Good morning all! :)
I slept in a bit, the boys are still sleeping. We had a storm roll through here late that had 2 of them up, the wind even worried me for a moment. Then I was worried thr power would go out and we would have to deal with the generator to keep my incubator going! The worry was for naught thank goodness.

I'll be back after I grab some coffee.
Anyone that new that hasn't heard me say it yet besides this class my favorite threads are the 24 hour club and the gratitude threads. If you haven't checked them out yet I encourage you to! :)

Thank you Kgirl! Writing a goodbye letter is a great idea! I have never done that but will. Thank you for believing in me. It means so much! :-)

I hope everyone has a good day today. I know I said it yesterday but I really appreciate all the support & advice you guys give me. If I could meet you in person I would give you all a huge hug!

AoS-this can be our last day 1 EVER. Let's do it!

Love you guys!!!

I'm on day 25. I have managed to drink sparkling water at nice restaurants, order wine for my daughter's wedding without drinking it, be angry and live through it, I just think it's going a lot better so I guess what I can say is that declining alcohol, we're choosing not to get it is incredibly simple. You simply say "do you have sparkly water?" And the more time you say it the easier it gets. Trust me, I am not saying this is easy, I'm just amused at how simple it can be.

I certainly feel tremendously better, and for that reason I would really recommend doing the best you can do.

Hi everyone,

Day 3 and it's been a busy morning. Girls had gymnastics class - the baby is in a Mom and me class so it's fun for me too :) Was grateful to not be hungover, but I am still feeling "off". Usually by Day 3 I am feeling great. Hubby is away today and already my stupid, pathetic AV is whispering it's lies. Why is it back so soon? Ugh, so sick of fighting it. Will stay strong and post if I start to really struggle. Sorry this is so short, but have to get my daughter off to the bus stop. Have a great day all!!