Class of February 2016 Part 8
Nature Lover & Plantoholic
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: The Golden State
Posts: 284
Originally Posted by Badger07 
No problem GG. This is hard. The quit can really twist emotional responses - at least for me. I want to rip the face off of some inanimate object at least 28.5 times a day. 
Embrace the Suck!
Embrace the Suck!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 665
Karen - I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this. It's important that today you begin again. I noticed that you use the word "try". In the words of Yoda, "Do. Or do not. There is no try". Tell yourself that you are going to do it instead of you are going to try to do it. Just my 2 cents. (((hug)))
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 665
[QUOTE=safeandsound;5843646]
And who is the twisted sadist who came up with "jeggings," I'd like to know?! At least in Canada, they are uncannily like sausage casings. I tried some on today, and let's just say it was not a pretty sight.
More recently, I started playing the drums, which I really enjoyed because 1) I picked it up right away and 2) H plays bass, and we could play together as well as with a few of our friends. But after the initial excitement, I felt I wasn't getting good enough fast enough, and stopped practicing. Damn perfectionism! Maybe "sober me" can be more patient with myself.
Anyway, I'm finally allowing myself to think of a future in which I don't drink but find tons of other things that are more fulfilling.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: CA, USA
Posts: 206
Originally Posted by Delizadee
Helps me to hear your guys positivity. I'm really struggling with depression now. I miss my kids so much it hurts physically. I had a dream last night. Clear as day. My daughter had suddenly decided to come back to me. It was very happy. I'll take that for now. I know I'm on the right path.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: CA, USA
Posts: 206
Originally Posted by GardenGal
Oh my GOD this group is so awesome. Still catching up on posts. But while I do, I just wanted to say that I cannot believe OldTomato is 20 years old! Given her 'name', and her breadth of experience, I'd figured she was a UK granny! I went to my 4th AA meeting yesterday. 2 very nice ladies invited me out to lunch. The [very young!] waiter overheard us, and asked if we knew Bill W. It's a crazy, small world, innit?
I went to my 4th AA meeting yesterday. 2 very nice ladies invited me out to lunch. The [very young!] waiter overheard us, and asked if we knew Bill W. It's a crazy, small world, innit?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: CA, USA
Posts: 206
Originally Posted by Badger07
Hello All. Day 36. I am having trouble focusing some times. Its like I have attention deficit disorder. Anyone experiencing this?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Where the Honey is
Posts: 728
Originally Posted by GardenGal
It truly DOES suck! Must I really embrace it? I'd rather rip the face off of it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,597
Originally Posted by Auggie
Karen - I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this. It's important that today you begin again. I noticed that you use the word "try". In the words of Yoda, "Do. Or do not. There is no try". Tell yourself that you are going to do it instead of you are going to try to do it. Just my 2 cents. (((hug)))
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,597
Originally Posted by Badger07
I believe the reference cute is in regards to the movie. Surely OOTT does not think alcoholism and depression are cute.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Where the Honey is
Posts: 728
Originally Posted by safeandsound
Karen, don't worry about it. This is the place to dump stuff! (OK ,that didn't sound too good . . .)
Badger, I'm also having a really hard time concentrating. It's like my memory has disappeared, and I got sober 6 weeks ago! (relapsed briefly Feb 23).
Badger, I'm also having a really hard time concentrating. It's like my memory has disappeared, and I got sober 6 weeks ago! (relapsed briefly Feb 23).
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,597
Originally Posted by Applekat
Poor OOTT!
Optimist sorry about the cancer, glad you're still here! Keep on keepin' on!
For anyone getting complacent here's a story from my hometown, across the street neighbor - he is dying tonight or tomorrow most likely - due to cirrhosis. He has three boys. He's 45 years old.
Optimist sorry about the cancer, glad you're still here! Keep on keepin' on!
For anyone getting complacent here's a story from my hometown, across the street neighbor - he is dying tonight or tomorrow most likely - due to cirrhosis. He has three boys. He's 45 years old.
Nature Lover & Plantoholic
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: The Golden State
Posts: 284
Originally Posted by Outonthetiles
I know, right? I had a great day at work and then I get here and GG's busting my balls.
Nature Lover & Plantoholic
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: The Golden State
Posts: 284
OK, I'm going to rent "RV" tonight. Based on my Goo search, it looks like my 11 year old can handle it.
I sent my 1st SR PM tonight, to OOTT. I'm sorry for being such an idiot.
Yep, this sure is a tough battle. My boys are out at the moment, and I thought about buying wine, but I'm going to make some tea, instead.
And I believe it was Badger who said 'this feels like ADD' -- welcome to my world, brutha! I actually have that [plus the H], and alcohol was a way to numb it.
I sent my 1st SR PM tonight, to OOTT. I'm sorry for being such an idiot.
Yep, this sure is a tough battle. My boys are out at the moment, and I thought about buying wine, but I'm going to make some tea, instead.
And I believe it was Badger who said 'this feels like ADD' -- welcome to my world, brutha! I actually have that [plus the H], and alcohol was a way to numb it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: South Yorkshire, Great Britain
Posts: 205
Hey Guys and wow!!! Took me ages to catch up with all of your posts!!! So glad that everyone seems to be doing well.
Well I went to bed about ten n woke at 3am yet again! That's even with sleeping tablets!
Its my daughter's wedding tomoz n she came to see me last night to borrow some glue for the table decors. I thought it kind of odd that she would come all this way just for glue. Well she also had something she needed to tell me!
My exAH got married for the third time two years ago and she was too scared to tell me thinking I would get upset! I couldn't give two hoots about what he does with his life. As far as Im concerned he is just the father of my kids. I will meet her tonight but Ive heard shes lovely. Anyway, I shan;t be spending the wedding with any of my ex inlaws will I! Ive got my own side of the family to be with. I shall just say hello and that will be it.
Day 25 for me peeps and still going strong! Don't forget you are all coming with me to the wedding! Just in case I need some moral support.
God bless xxx
Well I went to bed about ten n woke at 3am yet again! That's even with sleeping tablets!
Its my daughter's wedding tomoz n she came to see me last night to borrow some glue for the table decors. I thought it kind of odd that she would come all this way just for glue. Well she also had something she needed to tell me!
My exAH got married for the third time two years ago and she was too scared to tell me thinking I would get upset! I couldn't give two hoots about what he does with his life. As far as Im concerned he is just the father of my kids. I will meet her tonight but Ive heard shes lovely. Anyway, I shan;t be spending the wedding with any of my ex inlaws will I! Ive got my own side of the family to be with. I shall just say hello and that will be it.
Day 25 for me peeps and still going strong! Don't forget you are all coming with me to the wedding! Just in case I need some moral support.
God bless xxx
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
Have fun at the wedding my sober twin
Thanks everyone for your kind words today.
It's been ages since I felt so solid in my sobriety. I started reading "Beyond the Influence" this week and it really solidified for me the fact that I can never, ever safely consume alcohol again.
Almost every passage I read conjured up old memories of the different levels of alcoholism I had reached. When I went back, twice, to drinking after sobering up, the last two times are a SOLID example of how our bodies change due to the alcohol. Within a couple days, each time, I would go from a couple drinks to daily round the clock drinking, reverse tolerance, withdrawing while being drunk, detoxing worse each time... And like you guys were talking about earlier, planning my EVERYTHING around drinking. Not being drunk when I went out or around other people. Making sure I had money or booze to keep myself out of withdrawals. Etc.
Frack!
I am so grateful to be sober, and grateful for you guys.
Dee, I have a whole medical team at my disposal. Kind of. lol. I've been on many different meds for it. But I react so strongly to most anti-depressants that I chose to remove myself from this last course... well, that's not even true. Broke, jobless, my scrip had run out so I figured I'd try sobriety without meds this time around. I am doing as much aa and therapy as I can fit in in the mean time and deal with my MANY legal issues without the added fog of a new med. I'm handling it. In time I may get to a point where me & the psych find a good fit for meds. Me, with starting meds in new sobriety has a tendency to say "f it" and pick up the bottle VERY easily. This is something I've learned in retrospect. This time around it's been much easier to look at my feelings and cravings with a clear head, and not relying on the magic pill to make it better. I am much more in control of myself.
My daughter said a lot of things about me to her dad regarding my drinking that were blatant lies. I am incredibly hurt. That is what the court order is based on. I did a lot of stupid, unsafe things when I was at my worst, that I am ok with facing. Not sure how to handle rebuilding the relationship with her in the future. She lied because she wanted to stay with her friends... not because she was worried about my drinking, not at first anyways.
It's a tough situation with months of ****** slogging it out. It is what it is. No medication, booze or anything else is going to fix this but time or honesty.
Thanks everyone for your kind words today.
It's been ages since I felt so solid in my sobriety. I started reading "Beyond the Influence" this week and it really solidified for me the fact that I can never, ever safely consume alcohol again.
Almost every passage I read conjured up old memories of the different levels of alcoholism I had reached. When I went back, twice, to drinking after sobering up, the last two times are a SOLID example of how our bodies change due to the alcohol. Within a couple days, each time, I would go from a couple drinks to daily round the clock drinking, reverse tolerance, withdrawing while being drunk, detoxing worse each time... And like you guys were talking about earlier, planning my EVERYTHING around drinking. Not being drunk when I went out or around other people. Making sure I had money or booze to keep myself out of withdrawals. Etc.
Frack!
I am so grateful to be sober, and grateful for you guys.
Dee, I have a whole medical team at my disposal. Kind of. lol. I've been on many different meds for it. But I react so strongly to most anti-depressants that I chose to remove myself from this last course... well, that's not even true. Broke, jobless, my scrip had run out so I figured I'd try sobriety without meds this time around. I am doing as much aa and therapy as I can fit in in the mean time and deal with my MANY legal issues without the added fog of a new med. I'm handling it. In time I may get to a point where me & the psych find a good fit for meds. Me, with starting meds in new sobriety has a tendency to say "f it" and pick up the bottle VERY easily. This is something I've learned in retrospect. This time around it's been much easier to look at my feelings and cravings with a clear head, and not relying on the magic pill to make it better. I am much more in control of myself.
My daughter said a lot of things about me to her dad regarding my drinking that were blatant lies. I am incredibly hurt. That is what the court order is based on. I did a lot of stupid, unsafe things when I was at my worst, that I am ok with facing. Not sure how to handle rebuilding the relationship with her in the future. She lied because she wanted to stay with her friends... not because she was worried about my drinking, not at first anyways.
It's a tough situation with months of ****** slogging it out. It is what it is. No medication, booze or anything else is going to fix this but time or honesty.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 1,067
Hey Delizadee alcohol has a very similar effect on me. If I drink now I might be "ok" for a couple days, a week maybe, or maybe not? Maybe the next time I drink I'll do something terrible... hurt myself or others? Needless to say nothing good will come of it and I'll be physically and mentally ill very quickly, neglecting my child, job, friends and myself. For me it's like a form of masochism. I hurt myself by using alcohol... make myself sick... punish my soul. The strange thing is when im sober the thought of hurting myself appauls me. It's a damn hard thing to figure out. Bottom line is that no matter my struggle I'm a better man without the booze holding me down. I just can't continue rolling the dice by drinking and letting my apathy control me. No more. Hope you're doing alright tonight!
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