Class of February 2016 Support Thread Part 6
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 1,067
Apathy yes.... been defeated so many times not necessarily because of a craving or trigger but because I said "Just F it." I've had a difficult time loving myself, I've been selfish and narcissistic but no real love. I feel that this is where my apathy comes from... I always expect the worst and therefor make it happen. I'm going to change this, slowly, as it is at the root of my unhappiness. I'm planning to volunteer somewhere soon, I think that by helping others that I can learn to love myself. Im extremely grateful for ALL of you and I'm also extremely grateful to be sober today, I don't think that it would have been possible without the support I get here.
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 1,021
Originally Posted by jobei 
Thank you for the support everyone I won't get test results for a few days but I'm sober today and I'm grateful for that even if I'm terrified of everything at the moment.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by GardenGal
It fights cravings, and eases withdrawal. Prescription only. The doc wanted me to get through some of the emotional baggage before doing this [to get at the base of why I drink], but after 4 months, I need more help. And I assured her that I would continue with all the support work I'm doing.
Campral Treatment for Alcoholism
I want to start trying, but I have a bit of ADHD, so it's never been my thing.
I have another doc appt tomorrow with the GP, and I need to admit about the booze, that it's probably the cause of my high blood pressure. This is going to be really HARD.
My son was pretty disappointed me in this morning. This has got to be my main driver to quit for good. How can he trust me when I've promised to quit so many times??
I sense him pulling away.
Thanks, everyone. knb, great job pouring it down the drain. Inspirational!
Campral Treatment for Alcoholism
I want to start trying, but I have a bit of ADHD, so it's never been my thing.
I have another doc appt tomorrow with the GP, and I need to admit about the booze, that it's probably the cause of my high blood pressure. This is going to be really HARD.
My son was pretty disappointed me in this morning. This has got to be my main driver to quit for good. How can he trust me when I've promised to quit so many times??
I sense him pulling away.Thanks, everyone. knb, great job pouring it down the drain. Inspirational!
You must do this. Life is too short and your son will grow up fast. I dint want my.son to recent me and tell me that I wasn't never there fir him. :-((
I also have to see my doctor next week. Having my liver tested again. The doctor told me to lay off the alcohol after Christmas for at least a month. Ofcourse I didn't until late Jan
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by GardenGal
I want a sponsor! It's sort of a guru, right? But I'm too new to AA. How long do most people take to pick someone? I can usually tell pretty quickly who I jive with.
Garden gal if there is someone you click with then just ask. I also had women come up to me and give me their number but I never asked because I dudnt feel we connected
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by Auggie
It's kind of surreal how I met my guru. I just finished reading "The Crack in the Cosmic Egg' and was feeling like there was so much more to life that I know but can't see. A few days later he showed up in my life and made a huge impact. He led me to see things beyond my wildest dreams. I rarely drank alcohol back then (and never in excess) and I meditated every single day for well over a year.
When he passed away, I was devastated. Not a day goes by that I don't miss him. My meditation became less frequent and I began making poor choices. Now that you mention it, I could use a new guru too.
When he passed away, I was devastated. Not a day goes by that I don't miss him. My meditation became less frequent and I began making poor choices. Now that you mention it, I could use a new guru too.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by JL2014
L theanine has helped me immensely. Read up on it thoroughly. That's what I did before I tried it. It's not a medication just an amino acid
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by OldTomato
Hey guys, checking in on you all before I go to bed. During the few minutes silence in my meeting I thought of you guys. I'm so relieved you're okay knb and Delizadee, we have such a strong class here!
CuteNGay - Well done on reaching double digits, you're doing great!
safeandsound - Glad you're feeling better and congrats on hitting the one week milestone! I've tried meditation but I always fall asleep.
Jeni - One month! That's amazing!!
OOTT - Stay committed to your recovery plan/program. I attend meetings daily and post on here to keep myself focused. It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking "I'm okay now" or "I was overreacting", that's just your AV trying to be sneaky.
Optimist - Ah I see, there's a lot of illness going around at the moment. I was really unwell when I quit as well, it was difficult to tell what was withdrawal and what wasn't. Double whammy! Hope you feel better soon.
GG - I'm glad you're getting things sorted with your doc, remember to have a long term plan as well as medication - attending meetings, etc. Well done for resisting that AV. Today can be the start of your new, better life if you keep fighting it.
Anyway, I'm exhausted and I've eaten my supply of ice cream that was supposed to last me a week soooo... I'm going to bed. Goodnight all! Catch you in the morning.
CuteNGay - Well done on reaching double digits, you're doing great!
safeandsound - Glad you're feeling better and congrats on hitting the one week milestone! I've tried meditation but I always fall asleep.
Jeni - One month! That's amazing!!
OOTT - Stay committed to your recovery plan/program. I attend meetings daily and post on here to keep myself focused. It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking "I'm okay now" or "I was overreacting", that's just your AV trying to be sneaky.
Optimist - Ah I see, there's a lot of illness going around at the moment. I was really unwell when I quit as well, it was difficult to tell what was withdrawal and what wasn't. Double whammy! Hope you feel better soon.
GG - I'm glad you're getting things sorted with your doc, remember to have a long term plan as well as medication - attending meetings, etc. Well done for resisting that AV. Today can be the start of your new, better life if you keep fighting it.
Anyway, I'm exhausted and I've eaten my supply of ice cream that was supposed to last me a week soooo... I'm going to bed. Goodnight all! Catch you in the morning.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by Dee74
It was normal for me knb. I had a few ups and downs for a while.
I'd be drinking for 20 years...it was a monumental change.
It would be a lot easier if recovery was a straight line...but just as we have bad days generally we can have bad recovery days too.
As long as you keep rejecting those thoughts and cravings things will get better.
What's your recovery plan like besides SR? I think it's important to do good things for yourself too - recovery should be enjoyed not endured, y'know?
D
I'd be drinking for 20 years...it was a monumental change.
It would be a lot easier if recovery was a straight line...but just as we have bad days generally we can have bad recovery days too.
As long as you keep rejecting those thoughts and cravings things will get better.
What's your recovery plan like besides SR? I think it's important to do good things for yourself too - recovery should be enjoyed not endured, y'know?
D
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by Dee74
I'm going to be blunt because I needed to realise this too.
Because you're in the middle of a torrid love affair with booze. There's been no room for anyone else.
An abusive relationship can be just as difficult to leave as any other.
I gave 20 years of my life to drinking - I needed to give a decent amount of time to my recovery before I dismissed it as not working.
I'm working my way from the back of the thread - I don't know what you decided ultimately yet but I'll leave these posts here cos I think it's part of an important discussion for everyone.
Life is hard without drinking...if you're like me you drank away every stress and every bad emotion (or tried to, at least)...
learning to deal with that stuff is hard - it's uncomfortable - but it does get easier.
If you never push through you'll never find that out knb - and that would be tragic.
D
Because you're in the middle of a torrid love affair with booze. There's been no room for anyone else.
An abusive relationship can be just as difficult to leave as any other.
I gave 20 years of my life to drinking - I needed to give a decent amount of time to my recovery before I dismissed it as not working.
I'm working my way from the back of the thread - I don't know what you decided ultimately yet but I'll leave these posts here cos I think it's part of an important discussion for everyone.
Life is hard without drinking...if you're like me you drank away every stress and every bad emotion (or tried to, at least)...
learning to deal with that stuff is hard - it's uncomfortable - but it does get easier.
If you never push through you'll never find that out knb - and that would be tragic.
D
So wise. Will reread this post again and again
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: England
Posts: 2,675
Morning all, I overslept by two hours and broke my streak of actually waking up when I'm supposed to!! Oh well. I'm off to a lunchtime meeting today, then a few hours of volunteering, then some teaching. I was considering going to a second evening meeting but I think I've got enough planned for today! Day 15 for me, halfway to the 30 day milestone!!
I was talking to a fellow AA last night about how I'm a bad sponsee. Whenever I'm getting a craving I sit through it myself, then a few hours after it I'll text me sponsor like "I almost had a drink earlier but I'm okay now". I got a telling off! I'm not really one to pick up the phone and ask someone for help, I find it really difficult. Probably need to get over that one.
jobei - Drinking will just make that apathy worse (as I believe Dee said earlier). It's true! Volunteering sounds like a great idea, it's so rewarding helping others and it gives you a sense of purpose in your sobriety. I'm hoping to start volunteering with the charity that supported me when I've got 6 months under my belt.
Sansa - Glad you're keeping busy, congrats on Day 24. Check in when you can!
I was talking to a fellow AA last night about how I'm a bad sponsee. Whenever I'm getting a craving I sit through it myself, then a few hours after it I'll text me sponsor like "I almost had a drink earlier but I'm okay now". I got a telling off! I'm not really one to pick up the phone and ask someone for help, I find it really difficult. Probably need to get over that one.
jobei - Drinking will just make that apathy worse (as I believe Dee said earlier). It's true! Volunteering sounds like a great idea, it's so rewarding helping others and it gives you a sense of purpose in your sobriety. I'm hoping to start volunteering with the charity that supported me when I've got 6 months under my belt.
Sansa - Glad you're keeping busy, congrats on Day 24. Check in when you can!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
a good plan should target those weak spots tho knb? Have you used this link at all?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
D
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
D
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3,403
Deelizadee – Apathy. It’s a dangerous emotion. What can you do to change this? You say that you can. What’s stopping you? I know I need goals to keep me interested and motivated. You sound like you have some? Jeez. I am the worst to talk about this. I am trying to find joy in my life again..dont know how and when but I sure do know that drinking wont bring it.
ONTT- Breakups are a huge trigger to completely lose it. I was engaged nearly three years ago but my fiancé cheated on me. That experience nearly killed me. I was on anti-depressants, I drank myself stupid for years and my anxiety was through the roof…for years. I still think of that time. Still not over it completely. I don’t think I ever will be to be honest. It was a life changing moment and it showed me that I am very capable of destroying myself. I think this year is going to be focused on my most important relationship. And that is me. Like JL mentioned… Its about self love. I stopped loving and caring for myself for many years. Its time I showed myself that I am worth something
Mel -I am guessing you are an athlete?
Badger- Be careful. I had the same thoughts.[nearly drank last night. I would have thrown away 36 days. So glad I didn’t
Oldtomato- I am the last one to cry out for help but I have to in order to stay sober.I have battled with this addiction on my own and I cant do it. I need to be accountable, I need to be vunerable, I need to tell people I am weak. It’s the only way forward for me. I need to be honest with myself and to others. You should see me at meetings. I bawl my eyes out. I vow that I wont but as soon as I share I am overcome with emotion. I spill everything out and man do I feel better for it. Its your pride that stops you from crying out for help.
Cococo- Thanks for your concern. Are you okay? Whats wrong?
Morning to anyone else I havnt mentioned in my post
ONTT- Breakups are a huge trigger to completely lose it. I was engaged nearly three years ago but my fiancé cheated on me. That experience nearly killed me. I was on anti-depressants, I drank myself stupid for years and my anxiety was through the roof…for years. I still think of that time. Still not over it completely. I don’t think I ever will be to be honest. It was a life changing moment and it showed me that I am very capable of destroying myself. I think this year is going to be focused on my most important relationship. And that is me. Like JL mentioned… Its about self love. I stopped loving and caring for myself for many years. Its time I showed myself that I am worth something
Mel -I am guessing you are an athlete?
Badger- Be careful. I had the same thoughts.[nearly drank last night. I would have thrown away 36 days. So glad I didn’t
Oldtomato- I am the last one to cry out for help but I have to in order to stay sober.I have battled with this addiction on my own and I cant do it. I need to be accountable, I need to be vunerable, I need to tell people I am weak. It’s the only way forward for me. I need to be honest with myself and to others. You should see me at meetings. I bawl my eyes out. I vow that I wont but as soon as I share I am overcome with emotion. I spill everything out and man do I feel better for it. Its your pride that stops you from crying out for help.
Cococo- Thanks for your concern. Are you okay? Whats wrong?
Morning to anyone else I havnt mentioned in my post
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