Blogs


Notices

Class of February 2016 Support Thread Part 6

Old 03-01-2016, 07:49 PM
  # 161 (permalink)  
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 188,494
Blog Entries: 1
Keep playing that tape through Badger...it doesn't end anywhere as good as you imagine it starts.

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
amazingjoy (03-02-2016), Auggie (03-02-2016), CuteNGayYay (03-01-2016), GardenGal (03-01-2016), jobei (03-01-2016), OldTomato (03-02-2016), Optimist4ever57 (03-02-2016), Outonthetiles (03-01-2016)
Old 03-01-2016, 09:37 PM
  # 162 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 1,061
Blog Entries: 13
Apathy yes.... been defeated so many times not necessarily because of a craving or trigger but because I said "Just F it." I've had a difficult time loving myself, I've been selfish and narcissistic but no real love. I feel that this is where my apathy comes from... I always expect the worst and therefor make it happen. I'm going to change this, slowly, as it is at the root of my unhappiness. I'm planning to volunteer somewhere soon, I think that by helping others that I can learn to love myself. Im extremely grateful for ALL of you and I'm also extremely grateful to be sober today, I don't think that it would have been possible without the support I get here.
jobei is offline  
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to jobei For This Useful Post:
amazingjoy (03-02-2016), Auggie (03-02-2016), Dee74 (03-01-2016), GardenGal (03-01-2016), JL2014 (03-02-2016), OldTomato (03-02-2016), Outonthetiles (03-01-2016)
Old 03-01-2016, 09:49 PM
  # 163 (permalink)  
Member
 
Time2Rise's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 1,021
Originally Posted by jobei View Post
Thank you for the support everyone I won't get test results for a few days but I'm sober today and I'm grateful for that even if I'm terrified of everything at the moment.
Stay strong and stay sober jobei, hopefully this is nothing serious (I suspect it isn't). Sending good thoughts your way.
Time2Rise is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Time2Rise For This Useful Post:
Auggie (03-02-2016), Dee74 (03-01-2016), JL2014 (03-02-2016), jobei (03-01-2016), OldTomato (03-02-2016)
Old 03-01-2016, 11:00 PM
  # 164 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 1,061
Blog Entries: 13
Thank you my friend, I'm not feeling very string but I am sober, I know it will take time for the rest to come. I hope you are feeling ok tonight.
jobei is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to jobei For This Useful Post:
Auggie (03-02-2016), Dee74 (03-01-2016), GardenGal (03-02-2016), OldTomato (03-02-2016), Paix Amour (03-02-2016)
Old 03-01-2016, 11:33 PM
  # 165 (permalink)  
Member
 
SansaS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 534
Sorry I haven't had a chance to catch up yet. I've been flat out working. Hopefully will get a chance to catch up tonight in bed. Just checking in so I don't lose the thread! I think I'm on day 24.
SansaS is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to SansaS For This Useful Post:
amazingjoy (03-02-2016), Auggie (03-02-2016), Dee74 (03-01-2016), GardenGal (03-02-2016), JL2014 (03-02-2016), OldTomato (03-02-2016)
Old 03-01-2016, 11:59 PM
  # 166 (permalink)  
Member
 
opalblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by GardenGal View Post
It fights cravings, and eases withdrawal. Prescription only. The doc wanted me to get through some of the emotional baggage before doing this [to get at the base of why I drink], but after 4 months, I need more help. And I assured her that I would continue with all the support work I'm doing.

Campral Treatment for Alcoholism


I want to start trying, but I have a bit of ADHD, so it's never been my thing.

I have another doc appt tomorrow with the GP, and I need to admit about the booze, that it's probably the cause of my high blood pressure. This is going to be really HARD.

My son was pretty disappointed me in this morning. This has got to be my main driver to quit for good. How can he trust me when I've promised to quit so many times?? I sense him pulling away.

Thanks, everyone. knb, great job pouring it down the drain. Inspirational!

Garden gal you definitely have to do this for your son. How old is he? I cannot tell you how much closer I am to my son since I stopped. I have time for him. We talk in the morning we talk at night. We laugh! I havnt laughed with him in a long time.

You must do this. Life is too short and your son will grow up fast. I dint want my.son to recent me and tell me that I wasn't never there fir him. :-((

I also have to see my doctor next week. Having my liver tested again. The doctor told me to lay off the alcohol after Christmas for at least a month. Ofcourse I didn't until late Jan
opalblue is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to opalblue For This Useful Post:
amazingjoy (03-02-2016), Auggie (03-02-2016), Dee74 (03-02-2016), GardenGal (03-02-2016), KarenOskie (03-02-2016), OldTomato (03-02-2016), Paix Amour (03-02-2016)
Old 03-02-2016, 12:04 AM
  # 167 (permalink)  
Member
 
opalblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by GardenGal View Post
I want a sponsor! It's sort of a guru, right? But I'm too new to AA. How long do most people take to pick someone? I can usually tell pretty quickly who I jive with.
I chose mine on Monday. She has 35 years of sobriety and I always liked her shares. I just asked her after the meeting and she said she would love to. We went for a coffee afterwards and I found out that she use to br an actress and also worked in Parliament. I knew there was something about her. I havnt got a clue what her role is but I can call her whenever I want. Ofcourse I tried yesterday and she dudnt puck up the phone.

Garden gal if there is someone you click with then just ask. I also had women come up to me and give me their number but I never asked because I dudnt feel we connected
opalblue is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to opalblue For This Useful Post:
Auggie (03-02-2016), GardenGal (03-02-2016), OldTomato (03-02-2016), PHRD (03-02-2016)
Old 03-02-2016, 12:09 AM
  # 168 (permalink)  
Member
 
opalblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by Auggie View Post
It's kind of surreal how I met my guru. I just finished reading "The Crack in the Cosmic Egg' and was feeling like there was so much more to life that I know but can't see. A few days later he showed up in my life and made a huge impact. He led me to see things beyond my wildest dreams. I rarely drank alcohol back then (and never in excess) and I meditated every single day for well over a year.

When he passed away, I was devastated. Not a day goes by that I don't miss him. My meditation became less frequent and I began making poor choices. Now that you mention it, I could use a new guru too.
I didn't even know they existed in our society. I always thought they hung around ashrams. I use to read alot of books by krisnamurti. I use to be spiritual in my twenties. I don't know what has happened to me. I am turning so dark and bitter with life since reaching my forties. Got to put a stop to this
opalblue is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to opalblue For This Useful Post:
Auggie (03-02-2016), GardenGal (03-02-2016), KarenOskie (03-02-2016), OldTomato (03-02-2016)
Old 03-02-2016, 12:12 AM
  # 169 (permalink)  
Member
 
opalblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by JL2014 View Post
L theanine has helped me immensely. Read up on it thoroughly. That's what I did before I tried it. It's not a medication just an amino acid
Hey! I take one of those daily. I take them for my panic attacks because it ls suppose to induce serotonin. It's not cheap in the UK
opalblue is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to opalblue For This Useful Post:
Auggie (03-02-2016), GardenGal (03-02-2016), KarenOskie (03-02-2016), OldTomato (03-02-2016)
Old 03-02-2016, 12:15 AM
  # 170 (permalink)  
Member
 
opalblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by OldTomato View Post
Hey guys, checking in on you all before I go to bed. During the few minutes silence in my meeting I thought of you guys. I'm so relieved you're okay knb and Delizadee, we have such a strong class here!

CuteNGay - Well done on reaching double digits, you're doing great!

safeandsound - Glad you're feeling better and congrats on hitting the one week milestone! I've tried meditation but I always fall asleep.

Jeni - One month! That's amazing!!

OOTT - Stay committed to your recovery plan/program. I attend meetings daily and post on here to keep myself focused. It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking "I'm okay now" or "I was overreacting", that's just your AV trying to be sneaky.

Optimist - Ah I see, there's a lot of illness going around at the moment. I was really unwell when I quit as well, it was difficult to tell what was withdrawal and what wasn't. Double whammy! Hope you feel better soon.

GG - I'm glad you're getting things sorted with your doc, remember to have a long term plan as well as medication - attending meetings, etc. Well done for resisting that AV. Today can be the start of your new, better life if you keep fighting it.

Anyway, I'm exhausted and I've eaten my supply of ice cream that was supposed to last me a week soooo... I'm going to bed. Goodnight all! Catch you in the morning.
Oldtomato I ate a bucket of ice-cream last night. But no regrets this morning. So grateful to be sober this morning
opalblue is offline  
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to opalblue For This Useful Post:
amazingjoy (03-02-2016), Auggie (03-02-2016), Dee74 (03-02-2016), GardenGal (03-02-2016), JL2014 (03-02-2016), KarenOskie (03-02-2016), OldTomato (03-02-2016), Paix Amour (03-02-2016)
Old 03-02-2016, 12:18 AM
  # 171 (permalink)  
Member
 
opalblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
It was normal for me knb. I had a few ups and downs for a while.
I'd be drinking for 20 years...it was a monumental change.

It would be a lot easier if recovery was a straight line...but just as we have bad days generally we can have bad recovery days too.

As long as you keep rejecting those thoughts and cravings things will get better.

What's your recovery plan like besides SR? I think it's important to do good things for yourself too - recovery should be enjoyed not endured, y'know?

D
I think I have a good recovery plan but yesterday the AV was really strong. I was almost too weak to fight it. I think it was loneliness that triggered it off. And I just wanted to get drunk. Very scary
opalblue is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to opalblue For This Useful Post:
amazingjoy (03-02-2016), Auggie (03-02-2016), Dee74 (03-02-2016), GardenGal (03-02-2016), KarenOskie (03-02-2016), OldTomato (03-02-2016)
Old 03-02-2016, 12:20 AM
  # 172 (permalink)  
Member
 
opalblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I'm going to be blunt because I needed to realise this too.

Because you're in the middle of a torrid love affair with booze. There's been no room for anyone else.

An abusive relationship can be just as difficult to leave as any other.

I gave 20 years of my life to drinking - I needed to give a decent amount of time to my recovery before I dismissed it as not working.

I'm working my way from the back of the thread - I don't know what you decided ultimately yet but I'll leave these posts here cos I think it's part of an important discussion for everyone.

Life is hard without drinking...if you're like me you drank away every stress and every bad emotion (or tried to, at least)...

learning to deal with that stuff is hard - it's uncomfortable - but it does get easier.

If you never push through you'll never find that out knb - and that would be tragic.

D
Wise words Dee
So wise. Will reread this post again and again
opalblue is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to opalblue For This Useful Post:
Auggie (03-02-2016), CuteNGayYay (03-02-2016), Dee74 (03-02-2016), GardenGal (03-02-2016), KarenOskie (03-02-2016), OldTomato (03-02-2016)
Old 03-02-2016, 12:21 AM
  # 173 (permalink)  
Member
 
opalblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3,403
Will catch up later as there are other posts I want to reply to. I feel like I want to give everyone of you a hug today.
I cannot tell you how happy I am to be sober this morning. Catch you later
opalblue is offline  
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to opalblue For This Useful Post:
amazingjoy (03-02-2016), Auggie (03-02-2016), Caramel (03-02-2016), CuteNGayYay (03-02-2016), Dee74 (03-02-2016), GardenGal (03-02-2016), KarenOskie (03-02-2016), OldTomato (03-02-2016), soberjim (03-02-2016)
Old 03-02-2016, 02:02 AM
  # 174 (permalink)  
Member
 
OldTomato's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: England
Posts: 2,675
Blog Entries: 8
Morning all, I overslept by two hours and broke my streak of actually waking up when I'm supposed to!! Oh well. I'm off to a lunchtime meeting today, then a few hours of volunteering, then some teaching. I was considering going to a second evening meeting but I think I've got enough planned for today! Day 15 for me, halfway to the 30 day milestone!!

I was talking to a fellow AA last night about how I'm a bad sponsee. Whenever I'm getting a craving I sit through it myself, then a few hours after it I'll text me sponsor like "I almost had a drink earlier but I'm okay now". I got a telling off! I'm not really one to pick up the phone and ask someone for help, I find it really difficult. Probably need to get over that one.

jobei - Drinking will just make that apathy worse (as I believe Dee said earlier). It's true! Volunteering sounds like a great idea, it's so rewarding helping others and it gives you a sense of purpose in your sobriety. I'm hoping to start volunteering with the charity that supported me when I've got 6 months under my belt.

Sansa - Glad you're keeping busy, congrats on Day 24. Check in when you can!
OldTomato is offline  
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to OldTomato For This Useful Post:
amazingjoy (03-02-2016), Auggie (03-02-2016), ChrisBen (03-02-2016), CuteNGayYay (03-02-2016), Dee74 (03-02-2016), GardenGal (03-02-2016), KarenOskie (03-02-2016), Olivia2011 (03-02-2016), Paix Amour (03-02-2016)
Old 03-02-2016, 02:18 AM
  # 175 (permalink)  
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 188,494
Blog Entries: 1
a good plan should target those weak spots tho knb? Have you used this link at all?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
Auggie (03-02-2016), GardenGal (03-02-2016), KarenOskie (03-02-2016), OldTomato (03-02-2016), Olivia2011 (03-02-2016)
Old 03-02-2016, 02:43 AM
  # 176 (permalink)  
Senior Member
 
Paix Amour's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 778
Ive moved month but Im thinking of Jobei and knb right now.

I haven't posted much because I haven't read much later as Im very unwell at the moment, but Im thinking of you two.

Hugs to you both
Paix Amour is offline  
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Paix Amour For This Useful Post:
Auggie (03-02-2016), Dee74 (03-02-2016), GardenGal (03-02-2016), JL2014 (03-02-2016), KarenOskie (03-02-2016), OldTomato (03-02-2016), Olivia2011 (03-02-2016)
Old 03-02-2016, 02:44 AM
  # 177 (permalink)  
Senior Member
 
Paix Amour's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 778
Congrats on being sober 2 weeks Old T!
Paix Amour is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Paix Amour For This Useful Post:
Auggie (03-02-2016), Dee74 (03-02-2016), OldTomato (03-02-2016), Olivia2011 (03-02-2016)
Old 03-02-2016, 03:05 AM
  # 178 (permalink)  
Member
 
OldTomato's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: England
Posts: 2,675
Blog Entries: 8
Thanks Coco, keep checking back when you can!
OldTomato is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to OldTomato For This Useful Post:
Auggie (03-02-2016), Dee74 (03-02-2016), JL2014 (03-02-2016)
Old 03-02-2016, 03:07 AM
  # 179 (permalink)  
Member
 
opalblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3,403
Deelizadee – Apathy. It’s a dangerous emotion. What can you do to change this? You say that you can. What’s stopping you? I know I need goals to keep me interested and motivated. You sound like you have some? Jeez. I am the worst to talk about this. I am trying to find joy in my life again..dont know how and when but I sure do know that drinking wont bring it.

ONTT- Breakups are a huge trigger to completely lose it. I was engaged nearly three years ago but my fiancÚ cheated on me. That experience nearly killed me. I was on anti-depressants, I drank myself stupid for years and my anxiety was through the roof…for years. I still think of that time. Still not over it completely. I don’t think I ever will be to be honest. It was a life changing moment and it showed me that I am very capable of destroying myself. I think this year is going to be focused on my most important relationship. And that is me. Like JL mentioned… Its about self love. I stopped loving and caring for myself for many years. Its time I showed myself that I am worth something

Mel -I am guessing you are an athlete?

Badger- Be careful. I had the same thoughts.[nearly drank last night. I would have thrown away 36 days. So glad I didn’t

Oldtomato- I am the last one to cry out for help but I have to in order to stay sober.I have battled with this addiction on my own and I cant do it. I need to be accountable, I need to be vunerable, I need to tell people I am weak. It’s the only way forward for me. I need to be honest with myself and to others. You should see me at meetings. I bawl my eyes out. I vow that I wont but as soon as I share I am overcome with emotion. I spill everything out and man do I feel better for it. Its your pride that stops you from crying out for help.

Cococo- Thanks for your concern. Are you okay? Whats wrong?

Morning to anyone else I havnt mentioned in my post
opalblue is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to opalblue For This Useful Post:
amazingjoy (03-02-2016), Auggie (03-02-2016), Dee74 (03-02-2016), GardenGal (03-02-2016), OldTomato (03-02-2016), Olivia2011 (03-02-2016), PHRD (03-02-2016)
Old 03-02-2016, 03:43 AM
  # 180 (permalink)  
Member
 
JL2014's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 2,049
Good morning folks.
Day 9. Think I counted wrong.
Tomorrow will be first double digit in 1-2 yrs.
3 long workdays to go til PIZZA Friday, instead of booze Friday.
Had a Oreo attack last night. Barely made it ! Lol
JL2014 is offline  
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to JL2014 For This Useful Post:
amazingjoy (03-02-2016), Auggie (03-02-2016), CuteNGayYay (03-02-2016), Dee74 (03-02-2016), GardenGal (03-02-2016), KarenOskie (03-02-2016), OldTomato (03-02-2016), Olivia2011 (03-02-2016), PHRD (03-02-2016)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:45 AM.