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Class of February 2016 Support Thread Part 5

Old 02-27-2016, 04:44 AM
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good morning everyone, just wanted to check in and wish everyone a fantastic weekend!!
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Old 02-27-2016, 04:53 AM
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I am keeping myself very busy this weekend to keep my mind away from the cravings. I spent the whole day working in the garden. Looks good. I forgot how much i enjoy doing this. I would usually just drink my weekends away.
Now time to watch some rugby.
Hope everyone is enjoying an awesome sober weekend!!!!
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Old 02-27-2016, 05:12 AM
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I'm going in to work today to make sure things get done in my department. I don't have to stay all day, so I'm going to leave to go to a meeting at lunch time. I've really missed being able to do that. It seems like the first day of spring here in Georgia! So grateful to be waking up feeling good and not sick from drinking! Hang in there everyone, it's great to see you all working it out and finding ways to protect your sobriety. See you tonight!
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Old 02-27-2016, 05:44 AM
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You guys are great! Love your thread!

Knb - great post and oh so true. This list is endless with sobriety.

I can bbysit my g'daughter wo "resting my eyes" (passing out!). Loving it. And playing games with her and not getting aggravated so quickly! No more needing my drink!

Good luck all. Great class.

Olivia
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Old 02-27-2016, 06:06 AM
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[QUOTE=njdellis - Do you live with your boyfriend? Stay strong and don't drink over it. Like Coco said, he might be in a bad mood over something completely different.[/QUOTE]

He has lived with me for 5 years until last June. He packed up & moved out because he caught me sneaking & drinking again. We've been on & off since. He's stayed here every night since the day I started getting sober. Last year I was sober for about a month & was trying to change my life for the better. Then he started being a total jerk all the time, constantly picking fights. I called him out on it and he said he's had built up anger because every time we start getting better I drink again. He said how he was treating me was nothing compared to how I've treated him when I've been drunk. That's why I feel like he's trying to do that again. I talked to him this morning & told him not to start being a jerk or moody again. He said he wasn't trying to. I told him that I want to stay sober more than anything and I need him to be there for me. So I hope we are on the same page. Its extremely hard because I have hurt him so many times.
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Old 02-27-2016, 06:10 AM
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Morning All! Didn't sleep at all from being sick. I couldn't breathe well. Still feels better than a hangover mixed with shame and anxiety!

Had some oatmeal with blueberries and Rooibus tea with frothed almond milk. I'm going to try a microgoal today, take a shower. That's about all I can manage.

Hope y'all had a nice sober Friday. Day 8 here- woot.
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Old 02-27-2016, 06:15 AM
  # 167 (permalink)  
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I'm starting Day 23! Everyone have a safe sober weekend
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Old 02-27-2016, 06:19 AM
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Originally Posted by Applekat View Post
Yeah I think it was limited release. And one of the lowest grossing Oscar nominated best picture films. We rented it off iTunes last night. Very good. Of course the book was better as always is the case.

Little sleep last night. Low energy. Lots to do today.

Stay strong, Februarians.
oooooh. I didn't think of renting it. In will have a look at my iTunes when I get home. Thanks ;-))
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Old 02-27-2016, 06:23 AM
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Good morning. It is going to be a gorgeous sunny day here, almost 60 deg F!!
So glad I'm not going to ruin it with a hangover
Day 17!

I confess some nostalgia creeping in when I passed a local hot spot on my drive home last night. Then I remembered that I've been there done that, and it doesn't bring me the satisfaction that my AV is trying to convince me of, only more pain. So glad I came home to a quiet house and was in bed by 11, after a sober dinner with a friend.

Love to all the Febs! So proud of us, way to go everyone for facing your struggle head on today.
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Old 02-27-2016, 07:00 AM
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Originally Posted by njdellis View Post
I'm starting Day 23! Everyone have a safe sober weekend
Originally Posted by njdellis View Post
He has lived with me for 5 years until last June. He packed up & moved out because he caught me sneaking & drinking again. We've been on & off since. He's stayed here every night since the day I started getting sober. Last year I was sober for about a month & was trying to change my life for the better. Then he started being a total jerk all the time, constantly picking fights. I called him out on it and he said he's had built up anger because every time we start getting better I drink again. He said how he was treating me was nothing compared to how I've treated him when I've been drunk. That's why I feel like he's trying to do that again. I talked to him this morning & told him not to start being a jerk or moody again. He said he wasn't trying to. I told him that I want to stay sober more than anything and I need him to be there for me. So I hope we are on the same page. Its extremely hard because I have hurt him so many times.
Nj It must be hard balancing sobriety with a relationship. I read so many posts of people struggling with their partners. All my exes were definitely triggers for me to drink. I am not sure if I could give up if I was still dating someone. .. Must be very difficult

I normally feel down that I am single but this is the first time that I am actually glad I am single as it gives me the breathing space to really get my addiction under grips. Ofcourse I do want a relationship ultimately but certainly not at this moment.
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Old 02-27-2016, 07:45 AM
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So I met up with my friend for breakfast today, and she wants me to come work with her. She said there's a good opportunity going at work for people who aren't interested in going to uni and want to progress in that line of work. Thing is, I want to study when I'm feeling better and I have 0 interest in that line of work. I also don't really want to work with my friend. But she's getting really excited about it and wants to hand in my CV on Monday! It's a lot of money but... ahhh I don't know. I feel like having a drink over this which is stupid. I'm not going to but I'm struggling right now.

njdellis - Our drinking really does affect those around us, but if your boyfriend wants you to get better then support is what you need, not all this pent up anger suddenly being unleashed on you. In AA when we're doing our step work seeking forgiveness is pretty late in the programme. I won't need to be worrying about that for another few months down the line. We need to focus on ourselves first.

Sadie - Hope you feel better soon. It gets better. Did you visit a doctor before quitting?

kittycat - Well done for defeating that AV and staying strong through that trigger!
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Old 02-27-2016, 07:46 AM
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KNB I am right there with you. I've been single for 4 years, save for a couple flings. I have started to grow very exasperated with the single life and even feeling sorry for myself that I can't seem to find a partner like most people do.
But when I think about my relapsing, I am glad I can allow myself the space to get healthy and focus on me. If I'm healthy I'll attract a much better partner than when I was using......
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Old 02-27-2016, 07:56 AM
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I slept. Like a normal person almost. I had some trouble falling asleep because I had some remaining anxiety from sleep deprivation, but once I was out--I was out. And I woke up basically symptom free. I think I am over the hump of the acute physical part of this round with the drink. Now, the hard part--building a solid plan so that this is my last time doing this.
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Old 02-27-2016, 07:59 AM
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Thanks OT.
Don't stress about your friend. Keep mind open, and if you know for sure you aren't interested, just speak up and say it! Don't let your AV convince you it's something to drink over!
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Old 02-27-2016, 08:11 AM
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My only true relationship has been with alcohol for a very long time... and it has been the worst kind of abusive relationship there is. It's pretty clear why I've been single. It has stunted my growth on all levels and prevented me from maturing as I should have... I'm ready to leave it and grow again.
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Old 02-27-2016, 08:13 AM
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Hi Old Tomato!
Thanks for your concern! I have the flu or something, not withdrawals thank heavens. My first quit with heinous withdrawal was back in July. I had every symptom in the book, except DTs, hallucinations. Most recent lapse was last week, so now Day 8. Avoided withdrawal this time, but I know I cannot risk that again by taking that first drink!

I do feel strong in sobriety now. I would rather not sleep due to flu vs alcohol induced sweats and panic anyday.

Keep it up Febs! JL, it's getting closer to you having a sober weekend. JL, kittycat let's truly make this our last class! It's a good one, right? We don't want to leave.
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Old 02-27-2016, 08:30 AM
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ood morning. I made it through Friday. Day 24.
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Old 02-27-2016, 08:34 AM
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Happy Saturday. Just checking in for another sober day. It's just a housecleaning and yard work kinda day for me. Have a great day, all!
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Old 02-27-2016, 09:23 AM
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Originally Posted by njdellis View Post
He has lived with me for 5 years until last June. He packed up & moved out because he caught me sneaking & drinking again. We've been on & off since. He's stayed here every night since the day I started getting sober. Last year I was sober for about a month & was trying to change my life for the better. Then he started being a total jerk all the time, constantly picking fights. I called him out on it and he said he's had built up anger because every time we start getting better I drink again. He said how he was treating me was nothing compared to how I've treated him when I've been drunk. That's why I feel like he's trying to do that again. I talked to him this morning & told him not to start being a jerk or moody again. He said he wasn't trying to. I told him that I want to stay sober more than anything and I need him to be there for me. So I hope we are on the same page. Its extremely hard because I have hurt him so many times.
njdellis, just wanted to respond because I so relate to this. My husband picked the first few days I was sober (in January) to tell me how much pain I have caused him over the years. Way too soon! I already felt horrible, and he was usually kind enough not to mention all the things I did in blackouts because he knew I lived in constant shame and guilt. I really, really hurt him and know it. I also think in my case that the change is so huge that he's having trouble adjusting. He lost his drinking partner. That was our main activity.

Maybe let him know that you understand all the pain you've caused, but just for now you need to focus on recovery so that you guys can have a closer relationship in the future? I liked OldTomato's comment to focus on yourself, which also helped me.

My husband's drinking now causes a rift between us when he's drunk--I don't trust that it's the real him or trust what he says or feels (last night he got all maudlin about something). I wonder how many people felt that way about me? That they were getting a watered down version?

I try not to engage with him when he's drinking. He has also agreed not to drink on weeknights. That is MAJOR for him! I've also asked him to hide any alcohol he has since my recent relapse was made easier--I won't say caused--by the alcohol in the fridge.

I'm cautiously hopeful that now we can do sober things together, like walking, playing games, driving anywhere at night. It could really improve things. But I also don't want to get my hopes up! Focus on me, right?

Day 4. Spent the morning reading and writing. Feel calm.
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Old 02-27-2016, 09:33 AM
  # 180 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by kittycat3 View Post
KNB I am right there with you. I've been single for 4 years, save for a couple flings. I have started to grow very exasperated with the single life and even feeling sorry for myself that I can't seem to find a partner like most people do.
But when I think about my relapsing, I am glad I can allow myself the space to get healthy and focus on me. If I'm healthy I'll attract a much better partner than when I was using......
Kitty we are thinking the same. I have been single for three years except for a four month fling eight months ago. The main reason why I stayed with him was because he was a heavy drinker like me. We would meet at weekends and get absolutely plastered together. But he had nothing else to offer me and I should have never gone there in the first place.

This year is all about self love. Gonna put myself first and make better choices for myself too. I deserve it
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