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Class of February 2016 Support Thread Part 5

Old 02-29-2016, 04:06 AM
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' I wish I could tell you that life gets better. It doesn't But YOU get better"
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Old 02-29-2016, 04:24 AM
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Cococo
I got away from drinking when I was out somehow. I guess I'm always driving, I don't know. I just literally never, ever drink with dinner or out somewhere. My drinking is always done at home. I'm weird I guess. Oh I used to go out and be the stuff of drunk stories to be sure but when it turned inward on me, I think that was the start of drinking for medicating or hiding.
Anyway, you've been SO helpful and kind, so pls don't leave us, and I hope I can help out with stuff as I get going a little farther. I've been trapping myself in a mentally deteriorating cycle for yrs ( drinking every few days). Hoping that my mind clears out some, in the future. I feel better now at 8, than at 1. A world, better!
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Old 02-29-2016, 04:53 AM
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Heavy sigh... I'm back to day 2. I'm so disgusted with myself, it overpowers the yucckiness I feel from the withdrawls. It has to work this time .Why am I so weak when it comes to alcohol? There was no anxiety trigger, just saw the vodka and put it on the counter.

I will check in to SR more and work on my "plan"...not quite finished but I did start.

I am so disappointed in myself :-(
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Old 02-29-2016, 05:12 AM
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Wow, you guys have been busy. I don't have time to catch up on all the posts this morning. Day 13 for me, the last day of February, here. I look forward to continuing with each and every one of the Feb. 2016 class in March. Let's head into the next month together!
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Old 02-29-2016, 05:33 AM
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I almost had a drink today. I pulled out a bottle of vodka and held it for a while, then thought "just a little won't hurt", I just wanted that feeling back again. My AV has been latching onto the thought of "you weren't that bad, you can carry on for a little while". Right, so at what point do I stop? When I've been drinking for a few decades? When my liver gives out? What qualifies as 'bad'? Sorry AV, you're not winning me over. I just kept thinking of my future plans, which would be impossible if I were drinking. Focusing on not taking that drink for the next hour.

Optimist - Learn from your slip and figure out what you can do differently this time. You worked up the courage to post here again which is not easy, so well done. Are you attending meetings or speaking to someone?
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Old 02-29-2016, 05:52 AM
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Here again. Day one. I think this will be my final class and I mean that in a good way. Had done well drinking during the week for a while noe. Even have husband joining me. But I drank a lot over the weekend and now it just goes right to my head... I need to find a replacement activity to destress late in the day. Or relax and enjoy life more during the day. My daughter noticed I was slurring my words. How embarrassing. And so dissappointing in myself after making huge strides to no longer drink during the week. Its time to let this vice go. I don't need it anymore so why risk my health and all my confidence by doing it and feeling so horrible after. So sick of it. I'm going to take the time to really participate in this class and post daily. Day one dammit.
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Old 02-29-2016, 06:09 AM
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Welcome to our class PHRD, well done for getting here and not giving up on your sobriety. What steps have you been taking to ensure you don't drink? And what can you do differently this time? Keep checking back!
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Old 02-29-2016, 06:12 AM
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2 weeks sober. Awesome!!!
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Old 02-29-2016, 06:14 AM
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Hi PHRD,
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Old 02-29-2016, 06:18 AM
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Thank you for the updates. I understand the difficulty that well meaning friends can pose. I stay away from my friends because they serve alcohol.

In contrast, I like the gym because they do not serve alcohol. :-) I am going to the gym now. I know--my ritual is very repetitive. But I really appreciate the reassurance that ritual and repetition can give. Chaos is overrated.

Thank you for listening to my boring announcements about going to the gym again. It is good for me to check in, and maybe it helps someone to know there is one more soul out here fighting the good fight.
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Old 02-29-2016, 06:22 AM
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Originally Posted by knb02 View Post
It sure does. I was so angry with my ex for years. I suffered in the end.
I need to learn to let go as soon as I see the red flags
Thanks... I woke up to a very angry response to my apology full of anger and disdain. It hurt to read. For some reason my AV is strangely quiet. I'm just so tired of struggling through my existence. Ive been extremely depressed since I was a child. I've self medicated for nearly all of my adult life. I'm just so tired of it all. I don't want to suffer or cause suffering... I just want to be ok.
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Old 02-29-2016, 06:23 AM
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Dee, I don't have any steps in place to be sure I don't drink again. Can you give me examples of what I could do? I'm thinking of starting a couch to 5 k workout so I can have a better way to release stress and clear my mind.
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Old 02-29-2016, 06:24 AM
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Originally Posted by OldTomato View Post

Optimist - Learn from your slip and figure out what you can do differently this time. You worked up the courage to post here again which is not easy, so well done. Are you attending meetings or speaking to someone?
Thank you, OldTomato.

What concerns me about this slip is that I was not experiencing any triggers. I was well rested, not anxious,not worried about anything, no craving...nothing. Believe me, I am really trying to figure out this one.

I do attend meetings and am working with an amazing therapist. I'm also working on my action plan. I see the value.

Thank you for your feedback!
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Old 02-29-2016, 06:31 AM
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Hey everyone.

It has been an interesting month. My fourth week end in a row. 30 days ago today I made the decision to put this behind me once and for all.

This week end was (my 4th) was easier that the past few week ends. I feel better for sure and am sleeping way better.

The concern I have now is moving forward one day at time and no listening to that AV. I think after 30 days there is danger in thinking that you have made it to 30 days and you do not really have a problem.

OK in my case I know I do.

Thank you everyone for your support.!
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Old 02-29-2016, 06:36 AM
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Originally Posted by soberjim View Post
I think after 30 days there is danger in thinking that you have made it to 30 days and you do not really have a problem.
Great work on the 30 days! Especially after 30 days the health and functionality benefits start rolling in, no question about it.
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Old 02-29-2016, 06:40 AM
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Originally Posted by PHRD View Post
Dee, I don't have any steps in place to be sure I don't drink again. Can you give me examples of what I could do? I'm thinking of starting a couch to 5 k workout so I can have a better way to release stress and clear my mind.
Good to see you PHRD! Here are some worksheets that outline steps:

SMART RecoveryŽ - Tool Chest and Homework
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Old 02-29-2016, 06:52 AM
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Well, I need to start getting ready for this gig. I'm meeting my sister for dinner first and then we're making our way down. Not sure why I'm feeling so anxious about it, I'll be fine, and it'll get me away from all the alcohol in my house for a while.

Mel - You're not boring us! I like hearing that you're okay. I keep you guys in my thoughts at all times.

jobei - You will be okay if you give it time, the road to recovery is a long one and there are no quick fixes. But you will feel better the longer you keep fighting this addiction.

PHRD - Here's one of Dee's links to forming a recovery plan. Have a look and see if there's anything you can work with - http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

Optimist - I see your problem, it's difficult when you can't identify what your trigger was. There are a few on this list if that helps - http://alcoholrehab.com/addiction-re...apse-triggers/
Keep going to meetings and working with your therapist. I hope you figure out what caused you to slip up.

soberjim - One whole month of sobriety! Well done!! For sure don't fall into the trap of thinking you don't have a problem. I've found it helpful to write down what my life was like when I was drinking. So whenever I get those pesky thoughts of "there's nothing wrong with you, go ahead and have a drink" I can read through that and reflect.
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Old 02-29-2016, 07:05 AM
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Thank you Old Tomato! This should be very helpful. I've printed it out and will start working on it.
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Old 02-29-2016, 07:26 AM
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Hi Febs, quick check in before I have to take the kiddo to school. I'm starting day 5 still sober, and I don't even have the [usual] urge to go straight to the store after I drop him off. Progress!

I caved though and took one Nytol last night [dosage is two]. I slept like a baby, hooray!! I don't want to get stuck on that program, but man does it beat the old program of crashing in bed drunk!

Have a good leap year day, to those of us still in the Feb time zone!
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Old 02-29-2016, 07:40 AM
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Hi everyone. My 29th day sober here. I started February with the commitment to finish it sober. It hasn't been easy, but almost there. Hang in there everyone. I've been here before and managed to relapse, so still a work in progress. Just don't quit quitting! I had quite the internal argument this weekend. When I start feeling that sobriety is sooo hard, I have to remind myself how hard drinking/ and the after affect is. That was hard. Exhausting really. All I have to do know is not do something. Not drink. I will not drink for today. Thanks, and make this extra day something great! Even if its your first day, spending it sober is great!
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