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Class of February 2016 Support Thread Part 5

Old 02-29-2016, 02:26 AM
  # 401 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Cococo View Post
Oh thank you jobei and spadge.

Please, no need to say sorry. Im not beating myself up - I don't think. Im fully aware of what happened.

At least Im not drunk, but I will tell you WHAT, those 2 drinks had me desperately wanting A LOT more. So I know Im an alcoholic.

So the positives in the situation are:- a) I didn't get drunk or drink more after and b) Ive fought AV afterwards successfully because it was telling me "MORE MORE MORE MORE" and I haven't given in.

Still - its disappointing.
I just wish to strongly clarify something from my post above. Im quoting myself lol.

I am NOT suggesting there are ANY positives in drinking any amount of alcohol for any alcoholics. Its too late for me to go back and edit the above post.

What I should've said.....wrong choice of words....

There was nothing positive about my drinking tonight even though I didn't get drunk. The reason I say that is because I didn't get drunk.

But Im looking at it all wrong! Now that I think about it, those (you may call them mere glasses, but...) 2 glasses of wine (that your average 'normie' would have in the 1 sitting) ONLY instigated an immense desire to drink copious amounts more. That is not positive!

The hosts didn't offer any more after glass number 2 like 'normies' do.

But I PROBABLY wouldn't have got drunk with them in their house even if they continued offering - maybe! Please note that I say "Probably and maybe". There is every chance that if they had so offered all night long I would be slurring and tripping up all over their house by now making a complete spectacle out of myself! That is not a positive either!

So actually, regardless that Im not drunk, there was NO positive at all.
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Old 02-29-2016, 02:31 AM
  # 402 (permalink)  
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Thank you CNGY, youre always so sweat :-))))

I hope you feel better soon
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Old 02-29-2016, 02:33 AM
  # 403 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by spadge View Post
Yes im taking my black currant with me! xxx
I know lol, Ive read you love the old blackcurrant juice, that's good for you, and it will help if that's your 'drink' for the night/s as opposed to the alternative!!!

But have you considered a back up plan?
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Old 02-29-2016, 02:38 AM
  # 404 (permalink)  
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Welcome back Cococo

I'm glad you followed up your initial post because it really disturbs me to see people post 'hey I didn't get drunk'.

this is right on the money
But Im looking at it all wrong! Now that I think about it those (you may call them mere glasses, but...) 2 glasses of wine (that your average 'normie' would have in the 1 sitting) ONLY instigated an immense desire to drink copious amounts more. That is not positive!
and it gives me even more confidence that you're going to make this work

Regroup, revise, recommit
D
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Old 02-29-2016, 02:45 AM
  # 405 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Cococo View Post
I just wish to strongly clarify something from my post above. Im quoting myself lol.

I am NOT suggesting there are ANY positives in drinking any amount of alcohol for any alcoholics. Its too late for me to go back and edit the above post.

What I should've said.....wrong choice of words....

There was nothing positive about my drinking tonight even though I didn't get drunk. The reason I say that is because I didn't get drunk.

But Im looking at it all wrong! Now that I think about it, those (you may call them mere glasses, but...) 2 glasses of wine (that your average 'normie' would have in the 1 sitting) ONLY instigated an immense desire to drink copious amounts more. That is not positive!

The hosts didn't offer any more after glass number 2 like 'normies' do.

But I PROBABLY wouldn't have got drunk with them in their house even if they continued offering - maybe! Please note that I say "Probably and maybe". There is every chance that if they had so offered all night long I would be slurring and tripping up all over their house by now making a complete spectacle out of myself! That is not a positive either!

So actually, regardless that Im not drunk, there was NO positive at all.
Outstanding post Cococo. Thank you xxxx
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Old 02-29-2016, 02:50 AM
  # 406 (permalink)  
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Thank you Dee.

Yeah even when I was typing my initial post I thought something wasn't right. I didn't express myself as I intended.

After 30 minutes or so I realised....hmmm......actually Cococo love there WERE NO positives from not getting drunk. Because darn tootin I probably would have got drunk if given the opportunity.

Onwards and upwards
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Old 02-29-2016, 02:54 AM
  # 407 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Time2Rise View Post
It sounds like you have the right attitude Cococo. See what you can learn from the slip and jump back on the wagon. No one is perfect, so keep working to get to where you want to be.
Thank you. I have willingly LEAPED back on!

Oh and Im far from perfect, Ive never professed to be that lol. Im working on getting closer to it though lol
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Old 02-29-2016, 02:59 AM
  # 408 (permalink)  
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Its about 11pm here and its lights out for me.

All the best everyone
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Old 02-29-2016, 03:01 AM
  # 409 (permalink)  
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Goodnight Coco, tomorrow is a new day.
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Old 02-29-2016, 03:14 AM
  # 410 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by OldTomato View Post
Goodnight Coco, tomorrow is a new day.
Thank you hun (hug right back)

Fancy me stuffing up on Graduation Day!

What I am going to do different this time?.....

I have sorted out a local weekly AA meeting tonight. I rung the coordinator. He sound wonderful. Its during the day on a Thursday - weekly. A Steps and Big Book group. It sounds good. He said I can 'chose' a female sponser as soon as I feel a 'click' with somebody. He said given Ive got zero family in my country (all live overseas) and given the fractured parental situation that he will ensure a sponser ASAP as he felt I would be a priority case (his words). So he is obviously on to it and aware different members have different needs.
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Old 02-29-2016, 04:23 AM
  # 411 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by GardenGal View Post
I typed a long [for me] reply, and my laptop froze up on me at the last sentence, arg!!

Well, I wanted to say that I totally agree. I used to hoard wine more than actually drink it, saving it for dinner parties and such. I'd only buy the good stuff. Now I've only bought the ok stuff, because I haven't really be enjoying it any longer, especially not after the first few glasses. It has absolutely been an escape method from pain; a way to numb the brain. So I've decided on my first 'signature' quote just now, thanks Dee.

Today was a good day, nearly the end of day 4! Had a tasty Himalayan lunch, and a family hike around the lake. Amazingly, today my blood pressure has been nearing normal.

Weekdays are my downfall however, so my recovery plan is a meeting every day, a walk every day, and checking in here every day. Small steps!
Himalayan lunch? Interesting...what did you eat? Mo Mos?
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Old 02-29-2016, 04:25 AM
  # 412 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by SansaS View Post
Hello feb friends. I have reached a
Milestone of 3 weeks! This time 3 weeks ago I was so devastated and depressed. Today I feel great. Tired but happy. Looking forward to enjoying all of March sober with you guys.
Well done Sansas 😀
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Old 02-29-2016, 04:25 AM
  # 413 (permalink)  
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That's great that you'll be getting that support from your local AA group Coco. I've not had a chance to go to a steps and Big Book meeting yet but I really want to get to one. Well done for sorting something different out to try this time, there's no use in repeating a plan that hasn't worked for you.

I just got my bank statement through and panicked because it said I'd bought alcohol the day after I quit. I thought I'd finally lost my mind. Then I figured there was probably a delay.
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Old 02-29-2016, 04:28 AM
  # 414 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by JL2014 View Post
I got pushed so hard today. So hard. I actually pointed at my wife in the middle of some kind of breakdown/rant she was going through , where all the bottled up grief and whatever else was poured on me, ( I did hurt her feelings unintentionally), and said " there's NOTHING you can say or do, to make me drink today! She's not the cause anyway, but an alcoholic doesn't need any real prodding to drink. It's inside us wether we take a drink or not. Today was hell, and part of it was ok. It would've been all bad, if I'd been drinking.
I can't identify the switch inside me that stops me from continuing the cycle, but I'm surely thankful to be sober.
Once again, I'm daunted by the task of rebuilding things that have been lost , between my wife and me. I told her today we need to go to marriage counselling, but I want to make sure she gets going tomorrow with the grief/ emotional counselling. Life is so hard for her sometimes, and yea she's bad to me, and I'm bad to her ( another deadly cycle), but we've roughed out some horrible times together, I just hope we hold on.
Anyway. Thankful for one week sober. It'll get harder I guess.
So will I.

Hugs
JL you are doing incredibly well. I think you are going through the toughest stage. It will get easier as time goes
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Old 02-29-2016, 04:32 AM
  # 415 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by jobei View Post
I apologized to my daughter's mom just now for my part in our argument. I was so angry. I feel much better now. One of my favorite Star Wars quotes that always rings in my head (when sober) "Anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering." I'm not doing it anymore. There's enough suffering. I'm not going to let it build inside me. I'm going to let it go.
It sure does. I was so angry with my ex for years. I suffered in the end.
I need to learn to let go as soon as I see the red flags
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Old 02-29-2016, 04:38 AM
  # 416 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Cococo View Post
Hi everybody

Im not going to bore you with the details and my every thought......

I had 2 large glasses of wine at somebodys house tonight. They presented it out of the blue and I offered no very little resistance, rashly thinking "Oh just 1 wont hurt, they are having 1 so pffttt I can too". AV VERY quickly seized on a very impromptu situation and it won unfortunately! And then they offered another glass (the second glass) and I freely said yes thank you.

The only saving grace is......Ive had no more since and Im not drunk. I swear.

I came home with my head hung low and that was that. I did not stop off to buy more on the way. And there is none here.

I admit to 100% feeling like going out and buying a bottle or two now, but I wont be. Ive had a shower and hopped into my nightie and in bed watching television reruns on my laptop.

I did it to myself!

Yes, Im disappointed in myself, but Im not going to dwell on it and turn it into a complete fail!

But Im going to be tough on myself and say ITS DAY 1 AGAIN TOMORROW.

Please, no sorry's or pick me ups are required. Ive put my big girl pantys on!

I would like to ask the team/class.......seeing its still technically February (right now), can I please start as day 1 tomorrow? However day 1 for me will be 1st of March. I will miss you guys!
Cococo that AV is sly. The good thing is that you havnt gone into a complete relapse. There is no way I could have had just the two glasses. You wouldn't have heard off me in weeks ( if I am lucky). AL for me is like blood to Dracula.

Don't cave in Cococo. I would hate to see you leave this class. Who isgoing to do our list??
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Old 02-29-2016, 04:40 AM
  # 417 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by OldTomato View Post
Morning all! I'm taking my sister to a gig tonight. I really don't feel like going but I spent a lot of money on tickets and, hey, it's only one night, I can get through that! No meetings today but I'm getting a lift to the women's group tomorrow by a fellow AA. I'm relaxing for now.

Also, we've moved! We're growing up!!

jobei - Good job on apologising, there's no use in harbouring all that hate and anger.

CuteNGay - Well done on making it through the day, I hope you feel better soon. Feel free to vent here.

5upersonic - Congrats on Day 25, I'm so glad you're enjoying your sober life. I'm looking forward to my cravings lessening so I can join you in bliss!

Coco - It's okay, you were caught off guard and you were very strong to not drink more after that situation. It's up to you whether you stay in this class or move over to the March class, or both! You're more than welcome to stay here! Whatever helps your recovery. It's still February for a lot of us here!!
No no. Cococo is staying in the Feb class. I still post in my old class of Aug 2014 because that's where I started.
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Old 02-29-2016, 04:45 AM
  # 418 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Cococo View Post
Im so pleased for you love. Never ever give it up.

A fireworks moment going off for you.........thanks so inspiring :-)))))
Bless you Cococo. Get back on track. I can imagine how you feel right now. This AV will always be there. You just need to get stronger and stronger to say no. But I know it's tough. I am feeling weak for some reason. Feel a bit blah.
My AV has been poking me for the past two days but I won't let this damn voice ruin my life. It just won't happen. But I feel so annoyed and restless today.

Going to an Aa meeting in an hour. I hope this helps.
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Old 02-29-2016, 04:49 AM
  # 419 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Cococo View Post
I just wish to strongly clarify something from my post above. Im quoting myself lol.

I am NOT suggesting there are ANY positives in drinking any amount of alcohol for any alcoholics. Its too late for me to go back and edit the above post.

What I should've said.....wrong choice of words....

There was nothing positive about my drinking tonight even though I didn't get drunk. The reason I say that is because I didn't get drunk.

But Im looking at it all wrong! Now that I think about it, those (you may call them mere glasses, but...) 2 glasses of wine (that your average 'normie' would have in the 1 sitting) ONLY instigated an immense desire to drink copious amounts more. That is not positive!

The hosts didn't offer any more after glass number 2 like 'normies' do.

But I PROBABLY wouldn't have got drunk with them in their house even if they continued offering - maybe! Please note that I say "Probably and maybe". There is every chance that if they had so offered all night long I would be slurring and tripping up all over their house by now making a complete spectacle out of myself! That is not a positive either!

So actually, regardless that Im not drunk, there was NO positive at all.
At least you are being honest to yourself. That's a positive thing. The day I put my hands up and said that I am an alcoholic is the day I found my desire to no longer drink. Alcohol to me is poison and it will kill me if I let it.Thats a fact
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Old 02-29-2016, 04:50 AM
  # 420 (permalink)  
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Way to rebound Coco! I think it's important to always ask what we can learn from our shortcomings and you did just that. Regroup and power onward.

Great job guys!
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