jobei

I apologized to my daughter's mom just now for my part in our argument. I was so angry. I feel much better now. One of my favorite Star Wars quotes that always rings in my head (when sober) "Anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering." I'm not doing it anymore. There's enough suffering. I'm not going to let it build inside me. I'm going to let it go.

GardenGal

I've done plenty of this [and worse]. And it's hard to keep track of the lies when you're not sober. I don't want any more bruises, gashes, broken stuff in the house.

Gosh, I've only been here a few days and already I've been graduated to a new section of the forum.

jobei: great job! That took courage.

I told my husband tonight that I don't want to argue about stupid/ insignificant things anymore. We argued enough about truly horrible things. So I'm cutting him off when he starts. He said OK [glumly]. I [we!] need to put up more such boundaries on avoidable stress.

jobei

Thanks GG whether or not she forgives me is another thing!!

Paix Amour

I see we have moved residence!

CuteNGayYay

Tomorrow is still February though haha. Made it through Day 8. Feelin a little depressed. I feel like I have to start rebuilding all over again. I don't know why I've always turned to a drink after it became a problem. Hoping this psychologist can help me some Wednesday. Hope everyone has a good sleep.

Dee74

yeah I run by my timezone Cute - gives a bit of a jump to those who want a start in March

D

jobei

Good job on 8 days my friend you know it's going to get better. I'm right there with you on rebuilding... I've squandered so much, wasted so much time... I guess it is meant to be this way somehow though and it could be worse!

Just proves how the creation of time is such a farse to control money!! Dee lives in the future apparently, wow he's a time traveling amazing! It's NOW for all of us lol.

5upersonic

Day 25 and sober weekend no. 4 just gone. My wife isn't a big drinker, and with me not buying alcohol she didn't drink until this weekend when we had a close relative stay. Between them they drank over the weekend less than half what I used to drink in a night, but I could clearly see the tiredness and irritability creeping in on Sunday. I recognised these symptoms very clearly, because I would suffer with them myself most weekends, but much much worse. It felt like looking in from the outside.

I've arranged to travel next weekend to take the family to see my mum on Mother's Day. It's a long journey and I've never bothered before because, a) the thought of driving all that way with a hangover, and b) what's the point meeting up if I can't drink? I'm really looking forward to it now I'm free from alcohol.

Cravings are becoming fewer but still very intense when they strike. I'm getting a glimpse of how a sober future will look and feel and it's great.

Keep posting everyone.

jobei

Sounds good Supersonic! Problem drinking certainly doesn't promote going places... why go somewhere to drink when one can just stay here and do it? Funny how in the beginning it's oh so social but ends up being the exact opposite. Glad to hear you are doing well keep it up!

JL2014

Good news Sadie and good job Jobei. 0245 mon here. Early day 8. For once I feel as if I earned the right to say this number. It was hard earned.
Thanks to you all for some hope !

Paix Amour

Hi everybody

Im not going to bore you with the details and my every thought......

I had 2 large glasses of wine at somebodys house tonight. They presented it out of the blue and I offered no very little resistance, rashly thinking "Oh just 1 wont hurt, they are having 1 so pffttt I can too". AV VERY quickly seized on a very impromptu situation and it won unfortunately! And then they offered another glass (the second glass) and I freely said yes thank you.

The only saving grace is......Ive had no more since and Im not drunk. I swear.

I came home with my head hung low and that was that. I did not stop off to buy more on the way. And there is none here.

I admit to 100% feeling like going out and buying a bottle or two now, but I wont be. Ive had a shower and hopped into my nightie and in bed watching television reruns on my laptop.

I did it to myself!

Yes, Im disappointed in myself, but Im not going to dwell on it and turn it into a complete fail!

But Im going to be tough on myself and say ITS DAY 1 AGAIN TOMORROW.

Please, no sorry's or pick me ups are required. Ive put my big girl pantys on!

I would like to ask the team/class.......seeing its still technically February (right now), can I please start as day 1 tomorrow? However day 1 for me will be 1st of March. I will miss you guys!

jobei

Cococo I'm sorry that happened I'm glad you came on and posted... and didn't turn a slip into a fall. One of my most difficult triggers has always been social situations. Peer pressure is the AV's henchman for sure. I broke up with my last gf because I couldn't attend any of her family functions (every week basically) without being completely surrounded by booze and expected to partake. Try not to beat yourself up about it, focus on how to avoid a repeat... you'll be ok.

spadge

This happened to me many a time \cocoa don't beat urself up about it. Put it down to experience. Pick yourself up and start again. You know you can do it.

Ive got a hen party this week then my daughters wedding week after, so I will be surrounded with booze! Let's see how I go xx

Paix Amour

Oh thank you jobei and spadge.

Please, no need to say sorry. Im not beating myself up - I don't think. Im fully aware of what happened.

At least Im not drunk, but I will tell you WHAT, those 2 drinks had me desperately wanting A LOT more. So I know Im an alcoholic.

So the positives in the situation are:- a) I didn't get drunk or drink more after and b) Ive fought AV afterwards successfully because it was telling me "MORE MORE MORE MORE" and I haven't given in.

Still - its disappointing.

Paix Amour

Those are 2 quite big deal events there. Not just your average bear.

Are you going to make a plan, AND a back up plan?

Unfortunately, I didn't have a 'plan' because I wasn't expecting wine to be offered (not blaming them). It wasn't that type of situation I thought. It wasn't a social occasion actually. It was a job interview. They were interviewing ME in their home, so I didn't expect to them to present alcohol.

Paix Amour

Im so pleased for you love. Never ever give it up.

A fireworks moment going off for you.........thanks so inspiring :-)))))

spadge

Yes im taking my black currant with me! xxx

CuteNGayYay

Coco ur staying right here in Feb. it's still February here for 23 hours .

Time2Rise

It sounds like you have the right attitude Cococo. See what you can learn from the slip and jump back on the wagon. No one is perfect, so keep working to get to where you want to be.

OldTomato

Morning all! I'm taking my sister to a gig tonight. I really don't feel like going but I spent a lot of money on tickets and, hey, it's only one night, I can get through that! No meetings today but I'm getting a lift to the women's group tomorrow by a fellow AA. I'm relaxing for now.

Also, we've moved! We're growing up!!

jobei - Good job on apologising, there's no use in harbouring all that hate and anger.

CuteNGay - Well done on making it through the day, I hope you feel better soon. Feel free to vent here.

5upersonic - Congrats on Day 25, I'm so glad you're enjoying your sober life. I'm looking forward to my cravings lessening so I can join you in bliss!

Coco - It's okay, you were caught off guard and you were very strong to not drink more after that situation. It's up to you whether you stay in this class or move over to the March class, or both! You're more than welcome to stay here! Whatever helps your recovery. It's still February for a lot of us here!!