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Class of February 2016 Support Thread Part 5

Old 02-27-2016, 04:56 PM
  # 221 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by GardenGal View Post
Excellent post, thanks for linking it.

I hope I can undo all the sadness/ worry I've brought on my little family, particularly on my son.

Day 3 nearly over!
Garden gal I'm RIGHT there. I'm seeing all the damage in my own family . I don't know if it can be undone or not. I hope so.
Day 6
First one of those probably in a yr
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Old 02-27-2016, 05:10 PM
  # 222 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Outonthetiles View Post
my worst withdrawal was bad..and it was from the dumbest..lamest over the counter drug in the world. It took a week to feel normal.
Whoa. You had withdrawal from ambien???
I absolutely couldn't sleep without those. All the other stuff gives me horrible side effects, and with PTSD, I use a Cpap mask now for apnea, and ambien to at least have a chance to sleep. I didn't know it caused withdrawals !!??
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Old 02-27-2016, 05:25 PM
  # 223 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by JL2014 View Post
Whoa. You had withdrawal from ambien???
I absolutely couldn't sleep without those. All the other stuff gives me horrible side effects, and with PTSD, I use a Cpap mask now for apnea, and ambien to at least have a chance to sleep. I didn't know it caused withdrawals !!??
I was prescribed ambien for occasional use, and it got to the point where I couldn't sleep without it. So after taking it every day for about a year, it suddenly stopped making me sleep and started just making me black out. Unfortunately, before I researched quitting it, I took the remaining portion of my prescription to my pharmacist to dispose of for me. Then, I had five days of hell, on top of the flu, during finals week.
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Old 02-27-2016, 05:57 PM
  # 224 (permalink)  
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Hi guys hope everyone is having a nice weekend
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Old 02-27-2016, 06:15 PM
  # 225 (permalink)  
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I just heard from my NM (narcissist mother). I haven't heard from her for over 2 years. I should've hung the phone up when I heard her voice, but I stupidly didn't. I told her 2 years ago to never contact me again.

I ended up telling that Ive stopped drinking. I got zero support or "well done" or "you can do it" from her. But I wasn't expecting any because not once has she ever supported me during anything.

Before anybody suggests perhaps shes just wary this time because shes heard me say Im stopping many times before, no, Ive never told her I had a drinking problem, and I have never told her Im stopping.

She said to me "Arh I KNEW you were a a bad alkie, Ive always told everybody that".

So she WILL be very happy and pleased (because that's what a narcissist would feel) to get the info from me about my stopping drinking because now she will twist, turn and manipulate what I told her and ring everybody telling them "Coco told me shes stopped drinking because shes an alkie, I told you she was, I knew I was right etc etc etc"

Bearing in mind I never told her I was an alcoholic. I merely said Ive stopped drinking.

She lives on the other side of the world. I used to only see her once a year. So shes never seen me drunk as such. Shes seen me drink a bottle of wine, but I was miles away from drunk. Whenever she came over here I really reined in my drinking. If somebody drinks more than 2 glasses of wine, in her books they are an alcoholic. According to her!
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Old 02-27-2016, 06:25 PM
  # 226 (permalink)  
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Im feeling upset and angry at myself for telling her any of my business. My 2 brothers (I have 2 siblings) tell her nothing. One hasn't seen or spoken to her in 15 years. The other one speaks to her weekly only because they get free childcare from her. He told me they couldn't survive without the free childcare from her. And everybody else in her family, her brothers and sisters etc avoid her like the plague.

Why did I open my trap!
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Old 02-27-2016, 06:49 PM
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Oh my, Cococo… my therapist told me recently that my mother is a narcissist! I always knew she was a b*tch, but I never had an official 'medical' name for it. I told her recently that I'm in therapy and that this is how she's been labeled. We haven't talked much since. I've only told one of my siblings that I have an alcohol problem, but it seems he hasn't told anyone. I was always closer to my dad, and still haven't fully gotten over his sudden death of a heart attack several years ago [plus the zero support from my husband]. My 50+ yr old brother [favorite of many siblings] had multiple heart attacks a few weeks ago, but he made it, thank god. I was raised in a religion that forbids alcohol.

Anyhoo, I survived my counseling appt today, and though I have a headache, I feel a bit better. She's really good, much better than our marital counselor who I eventually stopped seeing. She wasn't trained in alcoholism, nor so much the addictions my husband was dealing with/ engaging in [and I eventually found out about].

I think this site is going to help me stay sober. Glad I found it.
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Old 02-27-2016, 06:52 PM
  # 228 (permalink)  
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When she was last here over 2 years ago I had to call the police to get her physically removed. She was staying her but things got impossible with her. The manipulation sulking being mean to my son (her grandchild) and the constant constant put downs about my weight were seriously mental. So I asked her to leave and go and stay at a motel. She was only 2 days away from flying out anyway. She has plenty of money. She refused. Instead of getting into screaming matches or physical stuff with her, which is not my style, I simply asked her again to leave, then I went out and called to police from my car phone. The police called me after they got her out and got my spare back off her. Then I went home. The relief.
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Old 02-27-2016, 06:55 PM
  # 229 (permalink)  
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GG I wouldn't wish a narcissist parent on anybody. Most people have no idea what a narc is like, let alone having one as a mother.

It's on par equal with alcohol.

You have my deepest sympathy if your mother's a narcissist. They seek and destroy.
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Old 02-27-2016, 06:58 PM
  # 230 (permalink)  
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Cococo and GG, my mother is as well. It drives me nuts. Thanks for sharing your struggles, I can relate. No one in my family will even admit I have a problem with alcohol, even though it's clearly evident. I have a family full of narcs.

I unfortunately an back on day 1. I'm out of money for the month so I can't drink. Maybe that's the best thing for me.
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Old 02-27-2016, 07:03 PM
  # 231 (permalink)  
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Thanks. If I get started on stories about my mom, I'll be here all night and will relapse! She divorced my dad, regretted it later, never remarried [who would have her??]. My dad remarried and it changed his life for 30 years. Glad he was happy, but I wasn't too thrilled about having 8 more siblings. ;-)

Somehow I managed to bury all the crap with my mom for years, but I now realize she is a big part of my drinking problem. Ok, I've ALWAYS had a huge anger management problem.

But I know… I need to let go of all that. I've only been to one AA meeting. I might try SMART. One day at a time… deep breath!

edit: don't beat yourself up, blue dog. Hang in there! Tomorrow is a new day.
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Old 02-27-2016, 07:10 PM
  # 232 (permalink)  
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OK GG then let's not talk about our narc mother's then. Because I feel like resorting to you know what now. I'm not going to. But I do feel like it. If I start drinking again and never stop and get worse and worse then that will actually please my mother. Most of you will think "WHAT coco, no way!" because they don't know what she's like. She absolutely loves being right. She loves it when she can say....I knew it....I'm always right. ....etc etc etc
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Old 02-27-2016, 07:15 PM
  # 233 (permalink)  
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Hi BD

I'm sorry to hear your surrounded by them. I've divorced my mother. 2 years ago mentally wrote her off. I should've changed my landlines number 2 years ago. I asked her not to contact me again. But she did. Anyway I've changed it now. And changed my email address. She still knows were I live but we might be selling and moving later this year anyway. And she won't get that address.

Sorry to hear about that BD. The most important thing is that you're back on your horse. It can take more than 1 attempt to ultimately stop, many attempts for most, but eventually it sticks. Just try again.
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Old 02-27-2016, 07:17 PM
  # 234 (permalink)  
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Ah ! We must be related ! I've the most distant siblings, and mother who is now in a nursing home. Each person with different severe emotional/ psychotic issues.
The stork definitely dropped me at the wrong house ! Lol
10:15 pm sat night here. Watching netflix . Sober. Think it's my first time ever !
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Old 02-27-2016, 07:21 PM
  # 235 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by JL2014 View Post
Whoa. You had withdrawal from ambien???
I absolutely couldn't sleep without those. All the other stuff gives me horrible side effects, and with PTSD, I use a Cpap mask now for apnea, and ambien to at least have a chance to sleep. I didn't know it caused withdrawals !!??
no, it was an over the counter sleep aid..lamest addiction ever.
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Old 02-27-2016, 07:23 PM
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Thanks. I actually moved back here to confront this issue. I should have walked away. Sometimes cutting off contact is the best option I've learned. If only I had known that then.

Wow, getting that off my chest is a huge relief
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Old 02-27-2016, 07:32 PM
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Originally Posted by JL2014 View Post
Ah ! We must be related ! I've the most distant siblings, and mother who is now in a nursing home. Each person with different severe emotional/ psychotic issues.
The stork definitely dropped me at the wrong house ! Lol
10:15 pm sat night here. Watching netflix . Sober. Think it's my first time ever !
That's great JL. Enjoy your movie!

I'm not estranged from my siblings thankfully. We're very close. They live in another countries though which is hard. And none suffer any mental illnesses thankfully. I get along with most, not all though, of my family, extended family and relatives. Just none live in my city. Nobody is geographically close. I feel alone. All 3 of us kids are estranged from our mother by our choice. Well except 1, but he still doesn't socialise or have much to do with her, just speaks like once a week for a minute to arrange childcare with her. Personally I wouldnt let her anywhere near my child. She was/is a sh*t mother. But he does. He said he would go broke without her as free childcare. You have to wonder.....if all 3 of a mother's children and everybody in her family can't stand her.....there has to be something badly wrong......we can't be all wrong.......she's the common denominator.

You are not alone BD or JL or GG. I understand.
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Old 02-27-2016, 07:37 PM
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Yep, can relate. My family is the root of my drinking problem I believe. There's a book at the library about growing up in a dysfunctional family. I'm going to check it out.
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Old 02-27-2016, 07:43 PM
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BD oh yes I am almost 100% sure mine is too. The children from dysfunctional homes, abusive homes and disturbed or mentally ill parents are like 10 times more likely to suffer a mental illness themselves and/or abuse drugs or alcohol. I'm not blaming my mother for my alcoholism but the highly disturbing environment she created and allowed us to be brought up in most definately has a part.
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Old 02-27-2016, 07:51 PM
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True, no one poured alcohol down my throat but me. But I can't help but want to cast blame.

I'm going to hit the hay. Thanks for the posts, it's been therapeutic. Have a good night everyone
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