Class of February 2016 Support Thread Part 4
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
Ending my day 2. I felt really good today after a good nights sleep. I jogged a couple of miles and ate healthy. Who was that person this weekend drinking and eating and being so lazy?
Yes, ladybug, our patterns are so much the same. And I also drank as a reward as well as bad times . Like coco, I am also noticing that feeling too good is also dangerous.
I am (mostly) a secret drinker too. The past few years I put an end to any kind of drunk face booking, emailing, texting, or calling - kind of as a way to perpetuate my drinking. I kind of tricked myself into believing that if I'm drinking alone and not even embarrassing myself, then one less reason to stop. Well my last straw was Saturday night when I had the brilliant idea to email my ex (very toxic) boyfriend who I've successfully managed no contact with for almost 4 months now and have been proud of how well and gracefully I was letting go of him. Well 2 emails babbling about who knows ended that. As if I needed another reason to stop, I got one with that dumb decision.
All goes to prove how "managing" doesn't work.
We alway end up right back where we were, and eventually worse.
Yes, ladybug, our patterns are so much the same. And I also drank as a reward as well as bad times . Like coco, I am also noticing that feeling too good is also dangerous.
I am (mostly) a secret drinker too. The past few years I put an end to any kind of drunk face booking, emailing, texting, or calling - kind of as a way to perpetuate my drinking. I kind of tricked myself into believing that if I'm drinking alone and not even embarrassing myself, then one less reason to stop. Well my last straw was Saturday night when I had the brilliant idea to email my ex (very toxic) boyfriend who I've successfully managed no contact with for almost 4 months now and have been proud of how well and gracefully I was letting go of him. Well 2 emails babbling about who knows ended that. As if I needed another reason to stop, I got one with that dumb decision.
All goes to prove how "managing" doesn't work.
We alway end up right back where we were, and eventually worse.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Southern California
Posts: 554
Checking in as well class. I'm proud of everyone! great discussions here.
FABL, I am (was) a secret drinker too. Hid it from my wife and family. Being sober is so much easier and less stressful.
FABL, I am (was) a secret drinker too. Hid it from my wife and family. Being sober is so much easier and less stressful.
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 778
Originally Posted by Caramel 
Cococo - thank you for your greeting. I am in the January '16 class, day 31, just happened to look in here. Yes, farmland, mountains and bush are lovely too. Your avatar - is that someone special to you? Looks cute!
I do like the semi quiet life. I would go mad in NY for example. Mind you, I like the hustle and the bustle too, just not all the time. A balance is perfect.
Coco is very special to me. Shes a small-medium sized chocolate labradoodle. Shes a really lovely looking dog. Shes almost 2 years old now. Ive had her since 8 weeks old straight from the breeder. I trained her not to bark (she does still bark a bit though, but not nuisance barking), dig, bite, chew things around the house etc (all the things dogs like to do, what a mean mummy). VERY affectionate and loving - loves full on cuddles and lots of pats and tummy rubs. Has never slept outside in a kennel. From 6 months old (after being crate trained) she has slept at the end of my bed, or my sons bed (she goes from 1 to the other) and gets fed a 'raw' dog food diet of salmon, duck, vension, rabbit, possum, turkey, veal etc.....no joking....its third grade pet food grade animals but still. She eats better than us! Spoiled rotten that dog haha!
I lost my second child to cancer 5 years ago, but was then too old to have another baby according to fertility tests, and I didn't have my husband or any man around at the time, so I got her instead (she is practically treated like a child by me) a few years after my daughter passed away
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 778
FABL - Congrats on completing day 2!
I know right? I had a terrible habit of ringing people at all hours of the night and slurring every word down the line, chewing their ears off for hours. Sometimes they would fall asleep.....no joking......I would literally hear snoring when I stopped to draw a breath! They may have been asleep for 15 minutes for all I knew!
I drove one (newish) friend to change her phone number so I couldn't continue ringing her. Then I started on her mobile (cell) and racked up large phone bills. Then she changed that number too. She distanced herself from me after that. Lost that friend.
Another friend would do housework, cook, even hopped in the shower one time, all whilst I rambled on and repeated myself like a drunked. She would occasionally get a chance to say something like "Yeah I know" or "Oh really". But it was just a quick obligatory phrase so I thought she was listening and paying attention, when really Im sure she put the phone down, put it on speakerphone and carried on with her (sober) evening, and just said the odd thing.
If youre laughing that's fine, because as Im typing this Im laughing too, its outrageous behaviour!
Its ok everybody, have a good old laugh. I don't blame you.
I know right? I had a terrible habit of ringing people at all hours of the night and slurring every word down the line, chewing their ears off for hours. Sometimes they would fall asleep.....no joking......I would literally hear snoring when I stopped to draw a breath! They may have been asleep for 15 minutes for all I knew!
I drove one (newish) friend to change her phone number so I couldn't continue ringing her. Then I started on her mobile (cell) and racked up large phone bills. Then she changed that number too. She distanced herself from me after that. Lost that friend.
Another friend would do housework, cook, even hopped in the shower one time, all whilst I rambled on and repeated myself like a drunked. She would occasionally get a chance to say something like "Yeah I know" or "Oh really". But it was just a quick obligatory phrase so I thought she was listening and paying attention, when really Im sure she put the phone down, put it on speakerphone and carried on with her (sober) evening, and just said the odd thing.
If youre laughing that's fine, because as Im typing this Im laughing too, its outrageous behaviour!
Its ok everybody, have a good old laugh. I don't blame you.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: England
Posts: 2,675
Happy Tuesday everyone (or whatever the day is for you guys, time zones are confusing)! Back to the easy days for me so I'm looking forward to a serious lack of AV for the next 4 days. I have my shift at work this morning then off to a women's meeting later on.
FABL - I was always really pleasant when drunk Facebooking (apart from the thousands of typos), drink made me a lot more confident. It was seeing people face to face that was the kicker. I once met up with my ex and started crying to them about how I really regretted ending our relationship, would they please take me back. I broke up with them!! After years in an unhappy relationship! I didn't regret it at all but drunk me sure seemed to.
OOTT - Good to hear from you!
FF - Thanks for checking in. I tried to be a secret drinker and failed miserably!
FABL - I was always really pleasant when drunk Facebooking (apart from the thousands of typos), drink made me a lot more confident. It was seeing people face to face that was the kicker. I once met up with my ex and started crying to them about how I really regretted ending our relationship, would they please take me back. I broke up with them!! After years in an unhappy relationship! I didn't regret it at all but drunk me sure seemed to.
OOTT - Good to hear from you!
FF - Thanks for checking in. I tried to be a secret drinker and failed miserably!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: England
Posts: 2,675
Just letting you guys know there's a few suggestions for beating anxiety being posted on this thread - http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...er-thread.html
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 2,049
I used to love going to the beach fora weekend. We don't live close one though. Not been financially able, past yrs, but such is life with kids and all. I want to get better. It's been a few yrs since I made 100-120 days. I remember it as very Uneventful . Maybe at 44 I'm too problematic to work on problems that I may have , that caused drinking. I don't know. I know I've got emotional issues like anyone, and that drinking contributes to depression for me. There are some days I'm a glass half full person, rather than half empty. I tried to listen to a hypnosis program off youtube, about depression and alcohol. Put me right to sleep. This being day 2 , I'm up at 2-3am with insomnia, but not alcohol induced heart pounding and sweating.
I could go on and on about identifying the evils of booze, but I'm feeling weary. I've really tried a lot of things to stop, but I May have some mental problem or something. I usually forget some important point that I can use to bolster myself within a few days.
It may be just sheer pressure from life's troubles. Our famille has just been crushed ( me as well) by grief and ongoing things.
Oh I know my wife may never learn to control spending money and we may eventually "lose everything", because of it, but I've let that go. I've had to. She's been there for me when no one EVER would, and I for her- I hope.
There's always two ways to look at things and I see clearly that mental illness runs in my family. Not every single person but there's a lot. I don't live near any real facilities and don't have the desire or the money to travel to see a psychiatrist., ( if in fact there is some real issue).
I can only make time for 20-30 minutes on a treadmill, then suffer the next day at work while working 10.5 hrs days at a county road dept.
It's not even feasible to goto an AA meeting if I'm so tired at work from not getting into bed, that I drag through the next day ! Lol
Most aa meetings anywhere near are only filled with court-ordered folks who are there to avoid jail time, so I'm just not a fit for them.
I'm not griping, it's just 3 am and I'm hoping to make use of some non sleep to air out things I've tried.
What actually has worked for me was getting to a liquor store and riding around in circles for a minute or two asking myself what I'm doing and why the hell am I doing this. That works.
That last point of HALT- tired, that's or for me to. Friday, works over may PT emt job the next day. Need a "break" or small "reward".
Becomes 2-3 days of regret for the next week.
I don't do a lot of things I used to enjoy.
Last weekend I played the guitar for a hr or 2. My 2 yr old even got out his toy guitar and now walks around with it.
I used to enjoy it for hrs.
I never ever play it now.
Don't remember a thing I played because I was drunk.
Something in my life changed and took my joy for some things away.
Maybe because of drinking. The turning point of alcoholism caused depression ? I don't know.
I've got a life left to live and I don't want to waste it. I'm doing that being drunk.
If it's a generational curse/addiction, that's inherited I've got to break it somehow.
I'm glad you guys are here.
Feeling alone in this would be more than I could handle.
Gonna lay back down til workday starts up.
If my struggle helps anyone in some small way, I'm glad.
I feel kinda run-over at the moment.
Rather not be here again.
I could go on and on about identifying the evils of booze, but I'm feeling weary. I've really tried a lot of things to stop, but I May have some mental problem or something. I usually forget some important point that I can use to bolster myself within a few days.
It may be just sheer pressure from life's troubles. Our famille has just been crushed ( me as well) by grief and ongoing things.
Oh I know my wife may never learn to control spending money and we may eventually "lose everything", because of it, but I've let that go. I've had to. She's been there for me when no one EVER would, and I for her- I hope.
There's always two ways to look at things and I see clearly that mental illness runs in my family. Not every single person but there's a lot. I don't live near any real facilities and don't have the desire or the money to travel to see a psychiatrist., ( if in fact there is some real issue).
I can only make time for 20-30 minutes on a treadmill, then suffer the next day at work while working 10.5 hrs days at a county road dept.
It's not even feasible to goto an AA meeting if I'm so tired at work from not getting into bed, that I drag through the next day ! Lol
Most aa meetings anywhere near are only filled with court-ordered folks who are there to avoid jail time, so I'm just not a fit for them.
I'm not griping, it's just 3 am and I'm hoping to make use of some non sleep to air out things I've tried.
What actually has worked for me was getting to a liquor store and riding around in circles for a minute or two asking myself what I'm doing and why the hell am I doing this. That works.
That last point of HALT- tired, that's or for me to. Friday, works over may PT emt job the next day. Need a "break" or small "reward".
Becomes 2-3 days of regret for the next week.
I don't do a lot of things I used to enjoy.
Last weekend I played the guitar for a hr or 2. My 2 yr old even got out his toy guitar and now walks around with it.
I used to enjoy it for hrs.
I never ever play it now.
Don't remember a thing I played because I was drunk.
Something in my life changed and took my joy for some things away.
Maybe because of drinking. The turning point of alcoholism caused depression ? I don't know.
I've got a life left to live and I don't want to waste it. I'm doing that being drunk.
If it's a generational curse/addiction, that's inherited I've got to break it somehow.
I'm glad you guys are here.
Feeling alone in this would be more than I could handle.
Gonna lay back down til workday starts up.
If my struggle helps anyone in some small way, I'm glad.
I feel kinda run-over at the moment.
Rather not be here again.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Georgia
Posts: 471
Good morning everyone! I woke up early and couldn't go back to sleep. A thousand things on my mind. I have so much to do at work, I'm going to go in early and try to get a head start. Great to wake up without a hangover! I see I'm not the only one up early, though I guess for some of us it's not that early since you're in places where the sun is already shining! It's kind of cool to be getting sober with people from all around the world.
Today, my plan is to pray, go to a meeting after work, which means I will have to be careful to leave right at 5, and go to bed sober tonight. I also want to call some of the people who gave me phone numbers at my last meeting. I am on day two and do not want to screw it up again! I know where I've failed before, it's by getting so involved in my problems that I don't follow through with my stay sober plan. That has got to come first or I have no chance of fixing all the rest.
Have a wonderful day everyone!
Today, my plan is to pray, go to a meeting after work, which means I will have to be careful to leave right at 5, and go to bed sober tonight. I also want to call some of the people who gave me phone numbers at my last meeting. I am on day two and do not want to screw it up again! I know where I've failed before, it's by getting so involved in my problems that I don't follow through with my stay sober plan. That has got to come first or I have no chance of fixing all the rest.
Have a wonderful day everyone!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 5
Day 23 except for 2/11 when i had 2 glasses of wine and 2 mimosas, so i basically should say day 12. Yesterday was a challenge - car towed, confusion at the lot, car moved to a different tow lot, battery dead. It took me 4 hours, 2 cab rides and $360, not counting the parking ticket. Definitely wanted a drink at one point but had a cigarette instead and only 2 total cigarettes. Weird, i handled it so much better than i normally would have. Now I don't have the high anxiety as much but not happy with this low grade worry and depression. I've quit for a month in the past and it's different every time.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 2,031
Waking up to Day 4! Still have that stinky headache and slept awful but I'm not hungover :-)
The fatigue yesterday was almost unbearable and I wanted to sleep as soon as I got home, but I held off.
Here's to a more alert Tuesday!
The fatigue yesterday was almost unbearable and I wanted to sleep as soon as I got home, but I held off.
Here's to a more alert Tuesday!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Pa
Posts: 50
Checking in. Good morning everyone. Starting day 9 I am feeling pretty good despite catching a cold Yesterday? It is nice to see everyone hanging in there. Coco I didn't get any exercise because of this cold but will start as soon as it clears up. Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 509
Good Morning! I'm starting out Day 19 and feeling positive! I found this poem this morning and just thought I'd share. Have a good Sober Tuesday everyone!!
"This is the beginning of a new day.
You have been given this day to use as you will.
You can waste it or use it for good. What you do today is
important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.
When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever;
in its place is something that you have left behind...let it be something good."
Author Unknown
"This is the beginning of a new day.
You have been given this day to use as you will.
You can waste it or use it for good. What you do today is
important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.
When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever;
in its place is something that you have left behind...let it be something good."
Author Unknown
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 617
Good morning! It's day 16. I wish I had an ocean to go walk around! I actually have a beautiful serene property and I'm very grateful for that, but an ocean walk sounds amazing.
I had another drinking dream! Didn't have even one until 3 days ago and here I have my second. Wake up so disappointed in myself. The crazy thing is, I didn't think about alcohol at all yesterday. My SO had left or we were separated in the dream too. Ugh. I'll try to have it serve as a reminder of the real life disappoint I would feel if I went there again.
I hope you're all having good dreams and doing well and have a sober day.
I had another drinking dream! Didn't have even one until 3 days ago and here I have my second. Wake up so disappointed in myself. The crazy thing is, I didn't think about alcohol at all yesterday. My SO had left or we were separated in the dream too. Ugh. I'll try to have it serve as a reminder of the real life disappoint I would feel if I went there again.
I hope you're all having good dreams and doing well and have a sober day.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 617
Originally Posted by Optimist4ever57
Waking up to Day 4! Still have that stinky headache and slept awful but I'm not hungover :-)
The fatigue yesterday was almost unbearable and I wanted to sleep as soon as I got home, but I held off.
Here's to a more alert Tuesday!
The fatigue yesterday was almost unbearable and I wanted to sleep as soon as I got home, but I held off.
Here's to a more alert Tuesday!
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