24-hour Recovery Connections Part 108
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 778
Thank you Cold
Nobody on SR realises how much the support means to me
Ive had several crying sessions today thinking about how Ive wasted my life by allowing alcohol to take centre stage of every facet of my life. Im upset and disappointed with myself and my parents. I believe my upbringing is in part a reason why Im an alcoholic, and why I suffer depression. Im now in fear of screwing up my own childs life - drinking instead of spending more quality time with him, emotionally unavailable sometimes, hiding bottles all over the house from him, getting short tempered with him etc. Ive done a pretty good job at shielding my 8 year old son from my drinking, but he is aware of it now. Ive done a pretty good job at being a good mother, but there is so much more I could be doing IF alcohol wasn't in the picture. I want to be a great mother, not just an ok mother. And I don't want him to become an alcoholic in the future. If I stop now, then he will forget most of it. Forget seeing half a dozen bottles of wine in the kitchen bin every week. Forget seeing bottles hidden in pot cupboards. Forget seeing mum drinking wine out of coffee mugs.
I think Im having a wake up call sort of day. Facing reality.
Forest? Are you camping or something?
Nobody on SR realises how much the support means to me
Ive had several crying sessions today thinking about how Ive wasted my life by allowing alcohol to take centre stage of every facet of my life. Im upset and disappointed with myself and my parents. I believe my upbringing is in part a reason why Im an alcoholic, and why I suffer depression. Im now in fear of screwing up my own childs life - drinking instead of spending more quality time with him, emotionally unavailable sometimes, hiding bottles all over the house from him, getting short tempered with him etc. Ive done a pretty good job at shielding my 8 year old son from my drinking, but he is aware of it now. Ive done a pretty good job at being a good mother, but there is so much more I could be doing IF alcohol wasn't in the picture. I want to be a great mother, not just an ok mother. And I don't want him to become an alcoholic in the future. If I stop now, then he will forget most of it. Forget seeing half a dozen bottles of wine in the kitchen bin every week. Forget seeing bottles hidden in pot cupboards. Forget seeing mum drinking wine out of coffee mugs.
I think Im having a wake up call sort of day. Facing reality.
Forest? Are you camping or something?
capra laeviculus
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: German Village, OH
Posts: 3,427
Originally Posted by Cococo 
Nobody on SR realises how much the support means to me
I've spent many nights on SR absorbing the strength of the great people here to steel my own. You are definitely among friends here and we're all here for each other.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,064
Originally Posted by Cococo
Forest? Are you camping or something?
And I spend lots of time at SoberRecovery because it sure beats drinking!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,443
Originally Posted by Cococo
Thanks so much V
We chatted in the chat room yesterday. I hope youre feeling better :-)
I know I will make it til 5pm, then I will work on 5-6pm, and so on until bedtime. Once its 11pm I know Im completely safe because no stores are allowed sell alcohol or theyre closed.
I honestly thought today would be easy, and that tomorrow would be difficult. Well, today isn't THAT difficult, just a difficult patch within the day
Ive just put some music on and now going to get busy doing a big pile of dishes
We chatted in the chat room yesterday. I hope youre feeling better :-)
I know I will make it til 5pm, then I will work on 5-6pm, and so on until bedtime. Once its 11pm I know Im completely safe because no stores are allowed sell alcohol or theyre closed.
I honestly thought today would be easy, and that tomorrow would be difficult. Well, today isn't THAT difficult, just a difficult patch within the day
Ive just put some music on and now going to get busy doing a big pile of dishes
And yes, yesterday in chat of course...and thank you for asking love.
Your dog is gorgeous by the way.
♥
2Cor5:17
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Between Doctor's opinion & pg 164
Posts: 4,187
Good evening SJ, My hope is you didn't pick up again. I was feeling in the dumps couple hrs ago yet was cheerful & good attitude other nite. Trust me I can def relate to what you're going thru coz haven't worked in three wks yet I'm putting out my res aka cv out there for employers including cover letters(both professionally done) but nothing so far. One of my goals this yr, is moving out of this recovery hse by Spring & that's in a mth or so. Of course, fear for some reason was banging @ my heart earlier even tho mtg in the mrg was excellent & thought was good for another 24 hrs. Must have let my guard down coz even tho went to nite mtg, afterwards asked a few people if they knew where any jobs were hiring but nope;will keep their ears open if hear anything. Then was reminded that someone always has it worse than me. Saw 3 guys later in wheelchairs separately & I remembered one of the things on gratitude list(70 & counting) is ability to see, hear, walk & talk. The thot of a drink has not come to mind & instead a solution(s). I try to remind myself feelings are not facts,but what can I do for someone else.
24 pls
24 pls
!
capra laeviculus
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: German Village, OH
Posts: 3,427
Originally Posted by Cococo
yeah true
thanks goat (love your goat picture BTW, made me smile)
thanks goat (love your goat picture BTW, made me smile)
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,443
Originally Posted by Goat
When I first got sober I spent sometimes all night here, just reading and talking. The companionship of people who understood what I was going through was amazing. I, however, am an awkward companion. But I am a silly goat, so hopefully I provide the "we are not a glum lot" part of the program. heh
And wise, and kind.
As are you 1new, and both of you are incredible powers of example.
Cococo are you in Oz love? (Melbourne here).
And hello Upwardpiral
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Southern California
Posts: 690
Hi all. It's 8:50 pm here and I can do 24hrs. I've noticed today that I was planning to drink sometime in the near future. I'm not sure why, but I've been having a tough few days and I've decided to relapse. Anyway, I'm trying this thread instead.
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