Class of February 2016 Support Thread Part 3
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 186
Originally Posted by Mel12 
I cannot shake the thought that I never actually feel good. I can enjoy things to a certain degree, but I always seem to carry a good amount of discomfort in my "mind/body," as it were. If I do not go to the gym frequently, I start to feel quite bad, so I am glad to have exercise upon which to fall back. But exercise seems not enough to close the gap.
Of course feeling bad is a major trigger. This morning I awakened and the first thought was "I feel unbelievably weird; how I am going to get through the day?"
Perhaps others can identify with what I am saying here. Thank you for listening.
Mel
Of course feeling bad is a major trigger. This morning I awakened and the first thought was "I feel unbelievably weird; how I am going to get through the day?"
Perhaps others can identify with what I am saying here. Thank you for listening.
Mel
Do you never feel good since you stopped drinking? Or do you never feel good full stop?
I identify with the feeling of discomfort since I stopped drinking- I don't 'reward' myself with a drink after a good day or rotten day or average day and it makes me uncomfortable BUT drinking was murder too- uncomfortable waiting for the first drink, the waiter is too slow bringing an order, the panic when you don't have enough left. Not comfortable.
What is your experience?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 315
I usually read all the posts before posting, but I'll have to do it later.
Not sure anyone can relate to this. Every time I've quit, my husband kept drinking, yet I was able to stay sober (at one point in my marriage I had one year). This time he promised to moderate; he's very worried about me.
But he's an alcoholic. He means well, but he ended up increasing his intake since I got sober week by week until the last two days I had to deal with stumbling, blackouts, insane spending. He never gets mean like I did, thank God.
Once you take a drink, even if you're the best person in the world (and he comes close), all bets are off. You lose your judgment.
He is not open to recovery although he will go to couples counseling with me. He thinks he can "be better" and is so sorry and will try to moderate again. Sigh. I know where that goes.
I feel defeated. I don't want to leave him; he's so much more than an alcoholic. He's my best friend and love of my life. I get scared to post about this issue because in AA people said, "you have to leave him."
Not sure anyone can relate to this. Every time I've quit, my husband kept drinking, yet I was able to stay sober (at one point in my marriage I had one year). This time he promised to moderate; he's very worried about me.
But he's an alcoholic. He means well, but he ended up increasing his intake since I got sober week by week until the last two days I had to deal with stumbling, blackouts, insane spending. He never gets mean like I did, thank God.
Once you take a drink, even if you're the best person in the world (and he comes close), all bets are off. You lose your judgment.
He is not open to recovery although he will go to couples counseling with me. He thinks he can "be better" and is so sorry and will try to moderate again. Sigh. I know where that goes.
I feel defeated. I don't want to leave him; he's so much more than an alcoholic. He's my best friend and love of my life. I get scared to post about this issue because in AA people said, "you have to leave him."
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 186
Originally Posted by Badger07
I come here every day to reaffirm my commitment not to drink. I reaffirm the commitment to my fellow brothers and sisters here who share the same goal to stop drinking. I reaffirm the commitment to my family and those that depend on me.
I know this is necessary but I struggle. I have conflicting feelings. On the one hand I miss drinking. It was / is a release for me. Its like saying goodbye to an old friend. I realize the friend is not good for me but he has been with me for quite some time. On the other hand I am ashamed of my actions. I have let this go way too far. I have put my family in a difficult spot and I have done some stupid ****.
I am angry that I have this problem. I was born with depression (runs in the family) and it seems that I have to fight every day to be “normal” like others. I sometimes feel sorry for myself. Then I get angry again that I am being a wussy and force myself to buck up and continue the fight. I grow weary at times.
Thanks for listening to my rant. That is really all it is. I know what I need to do. There is only one answer here – stop drinking and continue to work on being a more healthy person.
I know this is necessary but I struggle. I have conflicting feelings. On the one hand I miss drinking. It was / is a release for me. Its like saying goodbye to an old friend. I realize the friend is not good for me but he has been with me for quite some time. On the other hand I am ashamed of my actions. I have let this go way too far. I have put my family in a difficult spot and I have done some stupid ****.
I am angry that I have this problem. I was born with depression (runs in the family) and it seems that I have to fight every day to be “normal” like others. I sometimes feel sorry for myself. Then I get angry again that I am being a wussy and force myself to buck up and continue the fight. I grow weary at times.
Thanks for listening to my rant. That is really all it is. I know what I need to do. There is only one answer here – stop drinking and continue to work on being a more healthy person.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,247
Evening everyone.
Today the drive home was a struggle. My AV is was trying to convince me it was ok .. One more evening. I started to think how would I post tomorrow. I drove by the store.
Keep strong everyone
Today the drive home was a struggle. My AV is was trying to convince me it was ok .. One more evening. I started to think how would I post tomorrow. I drove by the store.
Keep strong everyone
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 118
Good on you, soberjim.
Anyone thinking of drinking tonight, hang close to here. I wish I had done so this weekend. The drinking doesn't get any better after a little time off from it. I was right back to where I'd last left it.
Anyone thinking of drinking tonight, hang close to here. I wish I had done so this weekend. The drinking doesn't get any better after a little time off from it. I was right back to where I'd last left it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,247
Safeandsound...
I read your post several times and keyed in on the part that your husband is receptive to couples counselling..
I am not a counsellor. I just know I have been married 26 years to a wonderful woman who has seen me drink too much black out and pass out.
She made it quite clear she was getting tired of seeing her husband like this. She makes me want to be a better person. You are quite correct once that first drink is taken all bets are off.
It is really positive your husband is willing to go to counselling with you. I wish you the best.
I read your post several times and keyed in on the part that your husband is receptive to couples counselling..
I am not a counsellor. I just know I have been married 26 years to a wonderful woman who has seen me drink too much black out and pass out.
She made it quite clear she was getting tired of seeing her husband like this. She makes me want to be a better person. You are quite correct once that first drink is taken all bets are off.
It is really positive your husband is willing to go to counselling with you. I wish you the best.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,317
Originally Posted by Mel12
I cannot shake the thought that I never actually feel good. I can enjoy things to a certain degree, but I always seem to carry a good amount of discomfort in my "mind/body," as it were. If I do not go to the gym frequently, I start to feel quite bad, so I am glad to have exercise upon which to fall back. But exercise seems not enough to close the gap.
Of course feeling bad is a major trigger. This morning I awakened and the first thought was "I feel unbelievably weird; how I am going to get through the day?"
Perhaps others can identify with what I am saying here. Thank you for listening.
Mel
Of course feeling bad is a major trigger. This morning I awakened and the first thought was "I feel unbelievably weird; how I am going to get through the day?"
Perhaps others can identify with what I am saying here. Thank you for listening.
Mel
It may seem a long time but I drank for many many years and it colured every thought I had even after I got sober... it took that long for the dead hand of alcoholism to leave me...y'know?
Originally Posted by Badger07
I come here every day to reaffirm my commitment not to drink. I reaffirm the commitment to my fellow brothers and sisters here who share the same goal to stop drinking. I reaffirm the commitment to my family and those that depend on me.
I know this is necessary but I struggle. I have conflicting feelings. On the one hand I miss drinking. It was / is a release for me. Its like saying goodbye to an old friend. I realize the friend is not good for me but he has been with me for quite some time. On the other hand I am ashamed of my actions. I have let this go way too far. I have put my family in a difficult spot and I have done some stupid ****.
I am angry that I have this problem. I was born with depression (runs in the family) and it seems that I have to fight every day to be “normal” like others. I sometimes feel sorry for myself. Then I get angry again that I am being a wussy and force myself to buck up and continue the fight. I grow weary at times.
Thanks for listening to my rant. That is really all it is. I know what I need to do. There is only one answer here – stop drinking and continue to work on being a more healthy person.
I know this is necessary but I struggle. I have conflicting feelings. On the one hand I miss drinking. It was / is a release for me. Its like saying goodbye to an old friend. I realize the friend is not good for me but he has been with me for quite some time. On the other hand I am ashamed of my actions. I have let this go way too far. I have put my family in a difficult spot and I have done some stupid ****.
I am angry that I have this problem. I was born with depression (runs in the family) and it seems that I have to fight every day to be “normal” like others. I sometimes feel sorry for myself. Then I get angry again that I am being a wussy and force myself to buck up and continue the fight. I grow weary at times.
Thanks for listening to my rant. That is really all it is. I know what I need to do. There is only one answer here – stop drinking and continue to work on being a more healthy person.
I think, in time, you'll see it's not a loss at all Badger
D
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,317
Congratulations to all those hitting a milestone today - no matter what it is 
safeandsound - many of our members have to deal with spouses whop drink - it's tough but it needn't be a dealbreaker. There is always recovery support here and other places.
I agree with others here - if he's open to counselling, it may help?
D
safeandsound - many of our members have to deal with spouses whop drink - it's tough but it needn't be a dealbreaker. There is always recovery support here and other places.
I agree with others here - if he's open to counselling, it may help?
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Down Under
Posts: 400
Originally Posted by safeandsound
I usually read all the posts before posting, but I'll have to do it later.
Not sure anyone can relate to this. Every time I've quit, my husband kept drinking, yet I was able to stay sober (at one point in my marriage I had one year). This time he promised to moderate; he's very worried about me.
But he's an alcoholic. He means well, but he ended up increasing his intake since I got sober week by week until the last two days I had to deal with stumbling, blackouts, insane spending. He never gets mean like I did, thank God.
Once you take a drink, even if you're the best person in the world (and he comes close), all bets are off. You lose your judgment.
He is not open to recovery although he will go to couples counseling with me. He thinks he can "be better" and is so sorry and will try to moderate again. Sigh. I know where that goes.
I feel defeated. I don't want to leave him; he's so much more than an alcoholic. He's my best friend and love of my life. I get scared to post about this issue because in AA people said, "you have to leave him."
Not sure anyone can relate to this. Every time I've quit, my husband kept drinking, yet I was able to stay sober (at one point in my marriage I had one year). This time he promised to moderate; he's very worried about me.
But he's an alcoholic. He means well, but he ended up increasing his intake since I got sober week by week until the last two days I had to deal with stumbling, blackouts, insane spending. He never gets mean like I did, thank God.
Once you take a drink, even if you're the best person in the world (and he comes close), all bets are off. You lose your judgment.
He is not open to recovery although he will go to couples counseling with me. He thinks he can "be better" and is so sorry and will try to moderate again. Sigh. I know where that goes.
I feel defeated. I don't want to leave him; he's so much more than an alcoholic. He's my best friend and love of my life. I get scared to post about this issue because in AA people said, "you have to leave him."
I'm forever grateful she stuck by me as in the last year, though I haven't been perfect, I've been 95% better.
If he was violent then I'd have a different opinion.
He will need to want to change. My wife sat me down and told me how sad she was, I hated seeing her cry, still chokes me up thinking about it.
Any counselling is better than none.
Hope you can work it out together.
Maybe you join SR as a husband and wife team.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 617
Originally Posted by safeandsound
I usually read all the posts before posting, but I'll have to do it later.
Not sure anyone can relate to this. Every time I've quit, my husband kept drinking, yet I was able to stay sober (at one point in my marriage I had one year). This time he promised to moderate; he's very worried about me.
But he's an alcoholic. He means well, but he ended up increasing his intake since I got sober week by week until the last two days I had to deal with stumbling, blackouts, insane spending. He never gets mean like I did, thank God.
Once you take a drink, even if you're the best person in the world (and he comes close), all bets are off. You lose your judgment.
He is not open to recovery although he will go to couples counseling with me. He thinks he can "be better" and is so sorry and will try to moderate again. Sigh. I know where that goes.
I feel defeated. I don't want to leave him; he's so much more than an alcoholic. He's my best friend and love of my life. I get scared to post about this issue because in AA people said, "you have to leave him."
Not sure anyone can relate to this. Every time I've quit, my husband kept drinking, yet I was able to stay sober (at one point in my marriage I had one year). This time he promised to moderate; he's very worried about me.
But he's an alcoholic. He means well, but he ended up increasing his intake since I got sober week by week until the last two days I had to deal with stumbling, blackouts, insane spending. He never gets mean like I did, thank God.
Once you take a drink, even if you're the best person in the world (and he comes close), all bets are off. You lose your judgment.
He is not open to recovery although he will go to couples counseling with me. He thinks he can "be better" and is so sorry and will try to moderate again. Sigh. I know where that goes.
I feel defeated. I don't want to leave him; he's so much more than an alcoholic. He's my best friend and love of my life. I get scared to post about this issue because in AA people said, "you have to leave him."
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 186
Hi safeandsound
My situation is similar. Husband doesn't want to quit but sometimes cuts down while I watch his intake steadily return to previous. It affects how we spend time together and our hopes for the future but he's a great guy and I love him. I am running with it at the moment and trying to stay sober myself.
You love your guy too. Is this also about you staying sober? When I asked around sr about this, the response was 'its hard to quit when your partner drinks but it can be done. It's not a deal breaker and others have done it'. It's very encouraging that he is on board with counselling
My situation is similar. Husband doesn't want to quit but sometimes cuts down while I watch his intake steadily return to previous. It affects how we spend time together and our hopes for the future but he's a great guy and I love him. I am running with it at the moment and trying to stay sober myself.
You love your guy too. Is this also about you staying sober? When I asked around sr about this, the response was 'its hard to quit when your partner drinks but it can be done. It's not a deal breaker and others have done it'. It's very encouraging that he is on board with counselling
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: England
Posts: 2,675
Originally Posted by Outonthetiles
A little quick and dirty math: my beer/vodka addiction averaged about US $10 a day. So that's $150.00 I've saved so far. $300 a month extra, that's a nice little dividend.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Pa
Posts: 50
Anyone else finding themselves worried about future events and relationships with friends? I know it is all part of my AV but it really gets me anxious. I just keep questioning how I will have fun and enjoy things without drinking?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 118
Definitely some thoughts of drinking going on here. Coming in here to try and make myself more accountable. Even though it's not even 6 o'clock yet, I'm already in my pajamas and I will not be leaving the house no matter what. I don't really want to drink. I don't really need to drink. I really do want to stay sober.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,317
Originally Posted by Oroszlan
Anyone else finding themselves worried about future events and relationships with friends? I know it is all part of my AV but it really gets me anxious. I just keep questioning how I will have fun and enjoy things without drinking?
My life is vastly different to what it was...but there's no sense of loss anymore (give yourself a little time to transition) because this new life is better in every way and it's entirely and authentically me
D
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