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Class of February 2016 Support Thread Part 3

Old 02-19-2016, 07:20 PM
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You can try meetings elsewhere right? Don't give up on AA because you didn't get a good vibe at one meeting....
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Old 02-19-2016, 07:20 PM
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Originally Posted by bluedog97 View Post
Went to the meeting. That meeting place is not for me. I've been there numerous times and have never felt welcomed there. It's just cliquey, like high school. Seems to contradict the principles of AA. It's AA, not club AA.

Anyway, just venting. My AV is working overtime. It's unfortunate going to a meeting and feeling worse when you leave than before you went.

Way to go, Kittycat! Glad you had the fortitude to turn down the invite.
I'm sorry the meeting was a disappointment bluedog.

I'm not sure of your history with AA. Are you fairly new to AA? Can you try meetings at other locations? I found that AA and the 12-Steps aren't for me; however, I tried a number of different meetings in a number of different locations before determining I wanted to use another approach.

During the period when I attended AA, I saw a lot of difference in the meeting quality and the member attitudes depending on locations and even saw differences in a meeting's vibe at the same location but during a different meeting time.
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Old 02-19-2016, 07:20 PM
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Hey bluedog - If that AA meeting cant make all sorts of people (including you) feel welcome then that says something about THEM! I would speak to the organiser about my thoughts, and if that didn't change anything, then I would go to another AA meeting. Is it going to be 1 week for you tomorrow?

Hey kittycat - Its hard to let go of old habits and beliefs. I am new to this forum but I have tried to quit drinking for many many years. Im not a newbie at it. Im pretty old in the tooth and know giving things up can be difficult especially if we are emotionally attached to it. Have you tried seeing a therapist to change your mindset that you don't need alcohol to have fun and be happy. I gave up a serious long term cigarette smoking habit over 2 years ago. I honestly didn't know what to do with myself. Stuck at home by myself once my son was dropped off at school, I would smoke the day away (and then drink the night away !!!). I really struggled with replacing the smoking with something else. So, when I would normally smoke, or when I felt like a smoke, I cleaned something in the house. It worked for me. I wouldn't even consider going out and smoking now, even if Im surrounded by smokers.

Now, Ive got to do the same with the alcohol. If I can stop a moderate long term smoking habit then I can stop drinking.
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Old 02-19-2016, 07:21 PM
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Yea, you're right, kc. Just frustrated.
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Old 02-19-2016, 07:28 PM
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Originally Posted by Cococo View Post
Hey bluedog - If that AA meeting cant make all sorts of people (including you) feel welcome then that says something about THEM! I would speak to the organiser about my thoughts, and if that didn't change anything, then I would go to another AA meeting. Is it going to be 1 week for you tomorrow? Hey kittycat -
Actually a week today, Cococo. You're right, it seems if you don't fit their mold, they act like they don't want you there. It's crappy, IMO. There's another meeting place I'll try tomorrow.
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Old 02-19-2016, 07:31 PM
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bluedog--is there an SOS meeting available in your city? That has been a godsend for me. But I agree with others that maybe you just hit a bad meeting of AA; that doesn't mean all of them will be like that.

Keep trying!
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Old 02-19-2016, 07:41 PM
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About 3/4 of the day has gone and I have barely thought about drinking. Ive kept myself busy reading on here, doing housework and napping.

Tonight Ive got a friend coming over to watch a movie with me. She doesn't drink (because she doesn't like the taste, not because she has issues with it), so shes a good choice to invite over, she wont arrive with any alcohol. So plonking yourself on the couch to watch a couple of movies isn't that bad!
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Old 02-19-2016, 07:44 PM
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That's great bluedog! Well done! I hope I can reach 1 week like you. Im going to really try.

And I hope the other meeting has a better more welcoming vibe. Fingers crossed for you.
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Old 02-19-2016, 07:55 PM
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Hi Bluedog
sorry you had a bad experience at AA and IOP.

There's been some good ideas here - you could try other meetings, or other methods - the bottom line tho is don't give up and stop trying.

You're worth the effort.

You are too Kitty - and anyone else being plagued with doubts about whether this is worth it

There's no answers behind us,. Drinking does not work. Full stop.


We have to move forward.

There's a period where we have to run on faith - faith that none of the rest of us, the old hands, us are lying and it really will get better.

That period can seem quite long, but I think most of us see some kind of real change within in 3 months.

12 weeks - that's not much to commit to when you consider how long we drank for

I am looking forward to a productive and fun weekend with no alcohol but tonight I'll be just hanging here on the couch...
if you want to do more than that Kitty do more than that - just don't put yourself and your recovery in danger.

Rent a DVD, read a book, buy a nice meal (or cook one)...think about hobbies and interests you have that you may have lapsed on...

Start defining that new version of fun.
The only limit is your imagination really

D
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Old 02-19-2016, 07:58 PM
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Dee - so what your saying is, if we can make it to the 3 month mark, then it becomes significantly easier? Or are you talking about going to AA meetings for 3 months?
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Old 02-19-2016, 08:39 PM
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Originally Posted by Cococo View Post
Dee - so what your saying is, if we can make it to the 3 month mark, then it becomes significantly easier? Or are you talking about going to AA meetings for 3 months?
I believe Dee is just saying that with time, sobriety will be easier and not require as much work and willpower--whatever, program (or lack of) is used.

However, that time frame is different for everyone Coco, so I wouldn't expect a drastic change to occur between day 89 and day 90. It's more of a gradual and slow process. And from my past experience, even at 90 days, while I was much happier than I was at 30 days, I still had work to do.

Personally, I'm just focusing on each day and keeping myself busy with non-drinking activities. I'm really not spending time looking too far into the future, as I feel it's not a productive use of time. I enjoy each sober day as it occurs, and so far that's been working out well for me.
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Old 02-19-2016, 08:40 PM
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Time2 has it right

I felt a real shift in me at 3 months - but it wasn't like a sudden thunderbolt on the evening of day 89...it was gradual ,

I've never been to AA, tho. Nothing against it

D
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Old 02-19-2016, 08:48 PM
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Thanks for the clarification Time.

I understandy.

I realise that there wouldn't be an all of a sudden major shift from day 89 to day 90. Youre saying looking at from day 1 to day 90 your feeling a lot better and stronger, that is, its a bit easier, more willpower, less cravings etc.

Well, I look forward to day 90 then. BRING IT ON!!!
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Old 02-19-2016, 09:02 PM
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Day 6 starting. Up nice and early this morning at the campsite. Everything seems better and i feel energetic for the first time since quiting. Think the withdrawels are finally coming to an end.
Now i can purely focus on keeping cravings at bay. Have a good weekend all!!!
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Old 02-19-2016, 10:28 PM
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Didn't even make it a day.. I guess tomorrow
Is day one again. I had 4 drinks tonight.. Does this ever get easier!?
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Old 02-19-2016, 11:14 PM
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It will mama

I gave you this link on your other thread but I'll leave it here as well - it's about why a recovery plan is important, and what a recovery plan might look like for you

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
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Old 02-20-2016, 01:00 AM
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Good morning all.

This will be my 3rd weekend sober I really cant remember the last time I had this much sober time it is getting slightly easier but still avoiding situations where people are drinking that will come next Friday.

Busy day cleaning ahead which is good my av loves boredom so music on mop in hand here i come saturday. A few weeks ago my av would have screamed its Saturday you deserve a drink everyone else is but not today. I am starting to be scared of drinking just 1 because I know where it can lead and i am enjoying the freedom that not drinking brings.

Hope everyone has a great day.
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Old 02-20-2016, 01:57 AM
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Good morning! Day 5. My AV was going off on one when I woke up but it's much quieter now so I'm ignoring it. I'm off to an evening meeting today so I can have the house to myself all day, I'm going to wash my hair and get takeout for lunch. It's going to be brilliant.

bluedog - Like the others have said, it's worth trying another meeting. At my first meeting other members told me to go to as many different meetings as possible. I've been to some brilliant ones that I'll definitely go back to and also some awful ones I'm never going near again. It's all about testing them until you find the right fit for you.
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Old 02-20-2016, 02:03 AM
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Day 16 and another 3rd weekend sober.

Went shopping last night hungry and it was definitely a trigger. So glad I didn't allow that drinking thinking to take a hold.

My AV is still very active. l watched a tv holiday commercial earlier which talked about making friends and showed people clinking glasses. l thought for a minute 'oh well, I can forget about making new friends in future'.l realised a short while later how ridiculous that sounds. Nice try AV!

Have a happy sober weekend all.
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Old 02-20-2016, 03:17 AM
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Hey everyone. Glad to see people still going strong. This is my second weekend sober and I am quite enjoying it. I'm on day 13 and am feeling a lot better than any other time I have attempted sobriety (probably about 5 times now).
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