GroundhogDay

I had not one, but two, life-threatening illnesses that helped me make peace with my own mortality. My last brush with death led me to start drinking again followed by a more lasting recovery. It took me a whole year to mentally process what happened to me. These days, I am very much at peace and feel like I better understand my purpose in life.

In any event, it's nothing to worry about and there's no reason to force yourself to think about your own mortality before you are ready. I think most of us have one or more spiritual epiphanies at some point that helps us.

Saskia

I can relate to that, GHD! Having been told twice that I wasn't going to make it more than several years forced me to confront all of that stuff. I also agree with your last comment - no reason to force thinking about it if not necessary.

InParticular

My grandmother, who is still alive (along with my grandpa) a few years ago suddenly started getting really obsessed and afraid of dying. It made her really sad, she talked about it all the time. I don't think she'd had much time to think about it yet, and it was suddenly hitting her that they were actually "getting old". They're both 84 now, just moved into an assisted living place and they are much happier. They were struggling for a few years there, trying to keep up with the way they used to live. They were very active when they were younger and it's taken them a long time to slow down. It was very hard on my grandpa when my aunts finally had to take his truck keys away from him; he was a truck driver his whole life and driving was his "thing". Very sad. But they're okay now, I wish I could see them more.
They had a large role in raising me and my brothers.
Waiting on jobs etc. is very frustrating. Had a last meeting with the whole staff today, it was sad but mostly positive, we laughed a lot and felt like a good note to end on. My boss who I had all the problems with, was very nice and reassured me that she would give me a positive reference. (Obviously, but I was still a little unsure about it.)
Left the office for the last time today. Was weird.
Got some positive advice from a professional woman in the community here, she was a reporter and is now in communications.
Oh, to the Undie who popped in wondering about finding energy: you're doing great. If your depression is gone from not drinking, you're ahead of a lot of us I think. Major things improved for me when I quit drinking: I got my act together and went back to school and am in a completely different profession now, am living more independently than I ever have, but I still have a plethora of emotional issues that I am still working through (that everyone on this thread will attest to) that I thought would just disappear when I got sober. I still struggle a lot with depression and anxiety, but the difference is I'm actually talking about it and acknowledging that they're problems that I need help with and I'm taking steps to get that help (slowly) rather than just shoving them down and drowning my problems. Everyone is on a different recovery schedule. Ten months is AWESOME and there is still so much for you to discover about yourself and your own personal journey.
Anyhoo, I had an idea for a short story so I'm going to go attempt to work on that. Still being inspired by Didion, thank you, Itchy!

Mags1

Morning overs, Saturday 7.48 am here! My grocery delivery is due between 8 and 9 and then hubby says he's taking me down town to get a pressie! Ooo! Wasn't expecting that! We don't usually do much for valentines, let's face it most of our married life I've been comatosed by 7pm! Scept for the last few years of course!

I got lamb for a meal for us. I'm not a romantic on the outside but am on the inside, does that make sense. I'd like to be spoiled and cherished ( like Wolfie does to Mrs wolfie!) but hubbys practical and he's not a mind reader! My friend at work hates valentines but she's in a relationship with a married man and has much heartache because of it, I'm so sad for her.

Anyooo, love that word, I nicked from toots and Inpar, hehe. Best get dressed.

Ooh, my asthma nurse says I should hear from the consultant in the next few days, which now makes me nervous. Since she upped my meds last week I can breather, which is a good thing, lol!

Hope it's a good Saturday and weekend for all my friends.x

tootsl1

Hi Stargazer, I felt that the first year of sobriety was all about recovery - getting sober, finding ways of staying sober, creating new sober habits, developing a sleep pattern ( okay so that isn't working out so well I have sporadic insomnia) and learning to care for myself holistically; body heart, mind and soul. Once I got past the Last Desperate Temptation of AV at a year ( it doesn't disappear after that but somehow seems more manageable but that last fight is a doozy!) I began, as Sass said, to accept that this was my new way of life and began to life that life. Quieter and with more contentment. When we stop hiding from decision making behind a bottle, we find ways of moving forward.
See you here in 2 months for you Overs Inaugoral Celebration!!

IP I feel that you are looking at the positives in which ever situation you find yourself in down the line, that is great.

As for dying? Hmmm I still get a bit panicky knowing it is inevitable, ( you know how you sometimes think 'oh, that happens to other people' ?) I don't have a strong faith so don't believe I will end up in a 'hereafter' yet I do often wonder if death is final. All I know is that there will be an official day of mourning in Tootsville, the flag will fly at half mast and the party on my grave will be standing room only!!

Mags1

Hope I didn't sound judgemental about my work friend earlier. It wasn't meant to be, just my heart goes out to her and I seem to pick up a lot of pieces when she's in shreds, I wish I could make it all better.

But I don't judge people and I can't save the world. Dee says once that he'd relinquished his job as master of universe, me too, but sometimes I just want to make it all better.

Soberwolf

Good morning

FBL

IP, best of luck on your job situation.

Zip, how'd the test go yesterday?

My Mom has been complaining about the food at her assisted living place lately, so my brother started looking at some other places and found one that has better meal options. It's a much larger facility that just opened a little over a year ago. They have a few different levels of care and even have couples living there. My brother says it's a much livelier place than where she's at now, which can be a bit depressing at times. She's all excited about moving and even though it's more money, we feel that she'll be happier there and that's what counts. I'll be going to visit in about six weeks, so hopefully she'll be settled in and I can check the place out for myself.

Have a Super Saturday, overs!

Dee74

good for you FBL - sounds great

D

Soberwolf

Sounds great FBL

Just bk in from shopping gloomy with rain we got house of cards season 1 and some films & done the weekly shop

Bit knackered

Rusty Zipper

thurs turned into yestaerday that will turn into wednesday!

their milking the ins. co.

mostly exhaling into a mouthpiece hooked up to computer with clothespin on nose

it's a 4 part test, i did get light headed

had to breath with albuterol for 5 minutes

almost an hour total time

the days of blowing up ping-pong balls are over!

Saskia

Zip, I feel for you. The Marquis de Sade must have written a secret book for doctors!

I love this thread
I find a different dimension here where our conversations range from serious to very funny and to me it's all about life and how we learn to live and enjoy it.

IP, I was especially touched by your most recent post. I think we are all works in progress and believe that's a good thing.

FBL, glad your mom is happy about new place she is going to. Meals and activities are so very important! In my OFH, we have independent living, assisted living and skilled nursing in different areas. Those in assisted either have serious mobility issues or cognitive ones. It's definitely not cheap! One benefit for those in independent living is knowing we don't need to worry about losing our marbles or physical capacity while living at home.

Soberwolf

Thinking & rootin for you Rusty

FBL

Zip, sounds like fun...NOT! But hey, it beats having to breath into a breathalyzer

I'm happy for Mom. I think the change of scene will do her good. The money is no object at this point as Dad left her very well off.

MesaMan

.
The Post above by toots got me thinking about the Story linked below.

'I don't have a strong faith so don't believe I will end up in a 'hereafter' yet I do often wonder if death is final.'

At least when I was going to Japan on Business, the Shinto Religion was primary there. Just some FYI background for evaluating this Story...

- Japanese Taxi Drivers Report Ghost Passengers -
.

Mags1

All the best, zippy.

The little birds are out in force. The wind seems to have died down. Forecast not good for tomorrow though. All the spring buds are coming through as Well!

Soberwolf

We refilled the birdfeeders today were watching joy now

InParticular

Happy Saturday Overs. I guess I'm just going to work on this story today, and maybe go grocery shopping later, woo woo. I can't afford to do anything.

GroundhogDay

Interesting article, thanks for the link.

Many years ago, after my first cat died, I could still feel his ghost jumping on the bed at night. My psychiatrist said it was because I was expecting him to jump on the bed when I was going to sleep, just like he had always done in the past. I guess my brain was trying to fill in the gap in my normal life experience.

I've never had any other ghostly encounters except for the occasional hair on the back of my neck feeling.

Mags1

GHD, my friend had that feeling when her cat died, she felt the bed depress in the night like her cat had jumped up.

Wolfie, the birds are certainly filling up for the impending cold spell.