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Class Of January 2016 Support Thread part 5

Old 02-06-2016, 03:52 AM
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Originally Posted by strangeangel View Post
Av came out hard this week. Drank Wednesday and then last night. Wednesday was fine, last night wasn't, but not bc of me being drunk. My marriage is really suffering bc my husband thinks I don't care about him (long story) I do care and I'm feeling frustrated and very sad. We got in a fight last night, but instead of staying out and drinking more, I went home to bed. So I'm happy I did that. Staying sober today. I'm young, 30, and my husbands 28 and I just don't think we're ready for marriage. He's always mad at me. Thanks for listening.
I'm happy you went home too- that is a huge step, choosing something different than to continue drinking which was probably your go-to in the past for dealing with these types of arguments.

I'm sorry you are having troubles in your marriage. Would he be open to counseling? DH and I have tried it in the past and it certainly helps. We are currently doing an online program because we can't afford therapy. Let me know if you'd like the name of it, I can send you a link.
Hope you have a good weekend and I hope you and your husband can sit down and clear the air...

I also hope you can find a way to stay sober. Are you reading any material on sobriety? Attending any meetings? Do you have support? I just started reading RR this morning and it's a great book so far. Please do yourself a favor and make a plan, we want to see you succeed and I am sure you want that for yourself as well.
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Old 02-06-2016, 04:06 AM
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Good morning my friends~
Woke up with a splitting headache several times but kept going back to sleep. Finally got up at 5:30 and took some medicine. I probably didn't drink enough water yesterday, who knows.

I read the first chapter of Rational Recovery this morning- I am really digging it so far and wish I had known about it years ago when all I was ever told about was AA when it came to recovery.

Saturday is always a stressful day here since DH works and I have the boys all to myself. DS is still having daily meltdowns and I honestly can't wait for this stage to be over. He also refuses to nap at home although he does nap at school so getting him to do "quiet time" in his room can be a challenge! Oh well, I will survive. Going to go to the gym or for a run when DH gets home tonight. I have got to get back in shape- I want to lose another 10 lbs by June. If only I could stop eating all the kid's snacks! It was so much easier in my 20s when I lived alone....sigh.

Anyway, life is good. I am feeling pretty good and just grateful to be alive and sober. Have a great weekend my friends and to anyone who is feeling the desire to take that drink, PLEASE post here first. I have done that and it has literally saved me from taking that drink.

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Old 02-06-2016, 04:12 AM
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Oh, I made a map this morning and I though it would be neat to see where everyone lives (if you are interested in sharing, of course). Here is the link:

https://www.zeemaps.com/mymaps

I think you can just go to "additions" and add your location.
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Old 02-06-2016, 04:38 AM
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It's an early, beautiful, COLD Saturday morning here. I'm very jealous of people living somewhere warm! I'm up early because I'm going to go to the gym for the first time in probably a year. I moved last spring and it is now about 13 minutes away and my excuse was, it's too far. It's not too far; I was too lazy!

I don't want to go. I'm "too fat for the gym," which is one of my AV's favorite ways to break me down. I'm fat, it's hopeless, I feel awful about myself, I might as well just treat myself.....

However, that voice is silent right now because even though I'm not where I want to be, I am feeling so much better than three weeks ago and I deserve to keep healing instead of buring my feelings with alcohol and food. I feel empowered right now.... so awesome!

Make it a great weekend, everyone!
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Old 02-06-2016, 06:46 AM
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Welcome back Strangeangel. I like Sunflower’s suggestion on counseling, relationships can be stressful; at times there seems to be no middle, just extremes. Learning to communicate with each other is essential. I’m sure you already know that drinking didn’t help. Okay, back on the wagon and the journey continues.

I like the map idea Sunflower, but when I opened the link, the site requires the user’s email address and password to access the map. Maybe you could create a dummy login for our Class to share?
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Old 02-06-2016, 09:38 AM
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Originally Posted by Odelle View Post
Welcome back Strangeangel. I like Sunflower’s suggestion on counseling, relationships can be stressful; at times there seems to be no middle, just extremes. Learning to communicate with each other is essential. I’m sure you already know that drinking didn’t help. Okay, back on the wagon and the journey continues. I like the map idea Sunflower, but when I opened the link, the site requires the user’s email address and password to access the map. Maybe you could create a dummy login for our Class to share?
I
Just realized that too, it wasn't doing that this morning. I will figure it out and get back to you!
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Old 02-06-2016, 02:09 PM
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Feeling a little low today. Had a nice evening at mom's last night, AV was present but docile. Mom wants me to stay the night tonight after work, but I won't be doing that, I think the temptation will be strong and don't wish to cut off my own bail-out by committing to stay the night.

Still dwelling on my recently-broken relationship, and wonder when happiness will look my way again? I love her and miss her even as I know we can't live in the past. I sure am an idiot at times. This is one of them.
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Old 02-06-2016, 02:22 PM
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Hey Thump, hang in there, happiness will return once again, just not as fast as we want. Do you go to the gym, Thump? It’s a great way to burn off anxiety and frustrations, get in shape at the same time, and meet new people.
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Old 02-06-2016, 02:39 PM
  # 269 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Odelle View Post
Hey Thump, hang in there, happiness will return once again, just not as fast as we want. Do you go to the gym, Thump? Its a great way to burn off anxiety and frustrations, get in shape at the same time, and meet new people.
I'd love to, but I have a bone disease in my hip which restricts my mobility and ability to support weights and working out.

You're right that a slow social life is impeding my recovery. It's hard to feel good about myself when I'm not around people and having a good time.
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Old 02-06-2016, 03:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Thumpalumpacus View Post
Feeling a little low today. Had a nice evening at mom's last night, AV was present but docile. Mom wants me to stay the night tonight after work, but I won't be doing that, I think the temptation will be strong and don't wish to cut off my own bail-out by committing to stay the night.

Still dwelling on my recently-broken relationship, and wonder when happiness will look my way again? I love her and miss her even as I know we can't live in the past. I sure am an idiot at times. This is one of them.
hey Thump, sorry to hear this. I don't know your story but hang in there and try and focus on you for now. Things will come good one way or another. Easy to say, I know, but being sober isn't the only thing that changes when you quit drinking. Chin up yeah?
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Old 02-06-2016, 03:19 PM
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Try Google searching enthusiast group meeting in your area, here is one for Austin http://www.meetup.com/topics/musicians/us/tx/austin/. There has to be something of interest to you out there where you can get out of your routine and meet new people, share ideas and conversations. Anything to break the cycle of work and home, I know, it's been my routine for far too long!
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Old 02-06-2016, 03:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Thumpalumpacus View Post
You're right that a slow social life is impeding my recovery. It's hard to feel good about myself when I'm not around people and having a good time.
It went the other way for me though - having time with myself was something I'd never really done before.

I was scared of being alone with myself. I had a lot of self hatred.

I learned that I wasn't such a bad guy and I learned to be comfortable in my own skin.

when I did start interacting with people again I thought outside the box a little too - no bars - I had 'normal' friends...went on coffee dates, pizza catch ups, picnics, movies...the sober meet up deal sounds good too.

Hope you feel a little better Thump

D
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Old 02-06-2016, 04:00 PM
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Good morning lovely people,

Hope everyone is going well. I will do a catch up of posts later as I'm off to brekkie soon..I am on day28!! Can't believe that 4 weeks ago today was my very last drink/blackout!
I'm still going to a lot of meetings- trying to balance motherhood with getting well again!! Feel a little better all the time.
Thanks to you wonderful guys too- would have been a lot harder to stay sober this long without your constant support,,, love you guys xxx
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Old 02-06-2016, 04:55 PM
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Thanks for the kind words and advice, y'all. Feeling better about things now ... the Serenity Prayer handles many different situations.
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Old 02-06-2016, 04:56 PM
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Thumpalumpus thankyou so much for your kind words, I appreciate them a lot. Have you ever spoken to an exercise physio, they could perhaps tell you what exercises you can do which are ok with your bone condition? Even just go to a pool for a casual splash around? I know for me right now the endorphins I get from any exercise are a major life saver - they don't fix everything but they help me a lot. I walk into the gym teary sometimes, and walk out so much calmer and contented.

Strangeangel thankyou for sharing, I also drank recently.

Nic congrats on 28 days, fantastic.

Sunflowerlife so glad to hear that the online counselling has helped that's really great.

Hugs and good wishes to everyone today.

We are all doing our best and our best is enough. We are enough.
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Old 02-06-2016, 05:16 PM
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Nic, congratulations on 4 weeks!

I am on day 30 today and the nicotine cravings have been relentless the past few days (day 12 today), so I threw all caution to the wind and broke down and bought myself a pint of B&J ice cream, take that AV!

I ate the whole thing and don't feel one bit guilty, haha. Now I have a tummy ache and probably won't enjoy my walk this evening, but it is what it is!

Stay strong guys, we're in this for the long haul and it isn't always going to be sunshine and lollipops!
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Old 02-06-2016, 05:46 PM
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Still here. Just checking in.
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Old 02-06-2016, 05:53 PM
  # 278 (permalink)  
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Lisa, thanks for the good ideas.

Nic, congrats on four weeks, sweetie. Keep rockin' it.
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Old 02-06-2016, 07:50 PM
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I made myself walk the dog and we managed to get 2 miles in this evening. Came home and whipped up an avocado facial mask and here I sit reading SR and waiting for the mask to dry, pretty exciting for a Saturday night, huh?

Not to whine, but my husband has his own business and works 7 days/week, so I spend most of my time alone. I used to joke that it was like being a single parent without dating rights. Being sober, caffeine and nicotine free leaves too much time for the mind to wander, not always a good thing.
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Old 02-06-2016, 08:00 PM
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You've got us, Odelle.
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