Class Of January 2016 Support Thread part 5
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 120
I went to an event last night and I drank. I had two glasses. I knew I would. It was an event I felt I had to go to, fully knowing that it would stir up very painful feelings for me.
Truthfully I don't feel guilty that I drank last night. Which makes me wonder maybe I shouldn't be on here. I know my life is better without alcohol, but I am not beating myself up at all about last night.
I am going to see a dr next Wednesday to get a referral for a psychologist who specialises in PTSD. I got the verbal recommendation for this psychologist over a year ago, and haven't acted on it. I am afraid I will have to go into all that horrible **** from the past and not actually come out the other side feeling better about it.
I could have reached out here for support in the days leading up to the event last night, as I knew a few days ago I would probably drink there. But I chose not to, not wanting to have to think about the whys of why I would have a drink there. Its just very painful.
I am very proud of all of you who are staying strong and choosing to face things without booze. Be very proud of yourselves also.
Truthfully I don't feel guilty that I drank last night. Which makes me wonder maybe I shouldn't be on here. I know my life is better without alcohol, but I am not beating myself up at all about last night.
I am going to see a dr next Wednesday to get a referral for a psychologist who specialises in PTSD. I got the verbal recommendation for this psychologist over a year ago, and haven't acted on it. I am afraid I will have to go into all that horrible **** from the past and not actually come out the other side feeling better about it.
I could have reached out here for support in the days leading up to the event last night, as I knew a few days ago I would probably drink there. But I chose not to, not wanting to have to think about the whys of why I would have a drink there. Its just very painful.
I am very proud of all of you who are staying strong and choosing to face things without booze. Be very proud of yourselves also.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Perth Western Australia
Posts: 2,671
Hey lovelies,
I'm going ok- already stressing about a family function I have to attend next weekend. Definitely don't feel strong enough to be around a bunch of drunk people but my Aunty and uncle are over from the uk so have little choice.
It's really worrying me how to handle it and can't even think of any plans to put in place. Mum knows I'm not drinking(it's at her place) She even offered not to drink either - which will solve nothing lol
Any suggestions? I'm known as the one who loves her drink- me saying his time that I'm not drinking as I'm trying to lose weight will not cut it.
It's going to be an Aussie all afternoon BBQ affair
I'm going ok- already stressing about a family function I have to attend next weekend. Definitely don't feel strong enough to be around a bunch of drunk people but my Aunty and uncle are over from the uk so have little choice.
It's really worrying me how to handle it and can't even think of any plans to put in place. Mum knows I'm not drinking(it's at her place) She even offered not to drink either - which will solve nothing lol
Any suggestions? I'm known as the one who loves her drink- me saying his time that I'm not drinking as I'm trying to lose weight will not cut it.
It's going to be an Aussie all afternoon BBQ affair
On the road of happy destiny
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: OHIO
Posts: 210
Nic, I think whenever you have to do anything that's awkward and uncomfortable - alcohol related or not - the key is just to state it like it's completely obvious and such a no brainer that you're doing what you're doing. When you are offered a drink, just say "nah, no thanks, thank you though!" with a big smile. Imagine if someone offered you a hot dog at the BBQ but you were already full. Even if you like hot dogs in general, it's totally ok to pass one up now and then. And if someone gets on you for it, just imagine how freaking weird it'd be if someone were desperately pleading with you to just have a hot dog, c'mon, just one! It'd be ridiculous and you'd be able to walk away knowing that Hot Dog Guy is the one who is unhinged.
Because here's the thing: normal hot dog eaters and normal alcohol drinkers might offer you a hot dog or a drink to be polite, but they don't care if you politely refuse. If someone won't let it drop -- it's them, not you.
You got this!!
Because here's the thing: normal hot dog eaters and normal alcohol drinkers might offer you a hot dog or a drink to be polite, but they don't care if you politely refuse. If someone won't let it drop -- it's them, not you.
You got this!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,036
Originally Posted by Nic233 
35 days is so great Delilah!!! Well done! Are you staring to feel clearer in the head and healthier? I have a lot more energy now than I used to in general but the crazy dreams seem to be getting worse!!!
What are your plans for the weekend?
What are your plans for the weekend?
I am definitely feeling much more clear headed, and I have been doing weight watchers since stopping as well, which is helping with healthier (Down 11 pounds so far!!:-)
I'm glad you are feeling much more clear headed too, we are definitely going to do this!!
I am planning a low key weekend with the kids, how about you?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,643
Hi Lisa, it's okay to not beat yourself for having drank last night, we aren't going to either. I hope you stay in our class though, even it you don't maintain 100% sobriety, isn't 90% better than it was before?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 120
Thankyou Dee. Thanks Odelle. Yes I feel that way, I didn't drink for 18 days. Which is positive .
And when I woke up this morning I thought about the pain and shame which got stirred up for me last night, and about how if I went to the bottle shop and drank I could blot it out for a bit. And I thought about how having vodka straight from the bottle would be the best for blocking it out (that's what I did for 1 year 3 and a half years ago).
But I also thought about how I would eventually come to and I would
need to drink more straight from the bottle to then pass out again. And I thought about what a sweaty sad piece of **** I would feel like tomorrow morning, and how I would need to do it all over again to maintain my new "sense of calm".
Anyway I guess I am just trying to say that even though I slipped I am thinking things through, and want things to be better for myself. A part of me is hoping for hope.
Someone else in another thread posted links to a BBC doco called "My name is" (I think you can view it on you tube). It made me cry, but it made me feel inspired also.
And when I woke up this morning I thought about the pain and shame which got stirred up for me last night, and about how if I went to the bottle shop and drank I could blot it out for a bit. And I thought about how having vodka straight from the bottle would be the best for blocking it out (that's what I did for 1 year 3 and a half years ago).
But I also thought about how I would eventually come to and I would
need to drink more straight from the bottle to then pass out again. And I thought about what a sweaty sad piece of **** I would feel like tomorrow morning, and how I would need to do it all over again to maintain my new "sense of calm".
Anyway I guess I am just trying to say that even though I slipped I am thinking things through, and want things to be better for myself. A part of me is hoping for hope.
Someone else in another thread posted links to a BBC doco called "My name is" (I think you can view it on you tube). It made me cry, but it made me feel inspired also.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Perth Western Australia
Posts: 2,671
Originally Posted by StrongBird
Nic, I think whenever you have to do anything that's awkward and uncomfortable - alcohol related or not - the key is just to state it like it's completely obvious and such a no brainer that you're doing what you're doing. When you are offered a drink, just say "nah, no thanks, thank you though!" with a big smile. Imagine if someone offered you a hot dog at the BBQ but you were already full. Even if you like hot dogs in general, it's totally ok to pass one up now and then. And if someone gets on you for it, just imagine how freaking weird it'd be if someone were desperately pleading with you to just have a hot dog, c'mon, just one! It'd be ridiculous and you'd be able to walk away knowing that Hot Dog Guy is the one who is unhinged.
Because here's the thing: normal hot dog eaters and normal alcohol drinkers might offer you a hot dog or a drink to be polite, but they don't care if you politely refuse. If someone won't let it drop -- it's them, not you.
You got this!!
Because here's the thing: normal hot dog eaters and normal alcohol drinkers might offer you a hot dog or a drink to be polite, but they don't care if you politely refuse. If someone won't let it drop -- it's them, not you.
You got this!!
I'm driving there..but usually people will say oh you can have a couple... You'll be here for hours etc....
I do need to learn to just say No as if it's not a big deal. This would be the perfect excuse for me to fall of the wagon and I am not prepared to do that to myself yet again.....
I appreciate you responding Strongbird... I'll have the image of hotdogs in my face all afternoon hahaha!!!! Xx
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Perth Western Australia
Posts: 2,671
Originally Posted by Delilah1
Hi Nic,
I am definitely feeling much more clear headed, and I have been doing weight watchers since stopping as well, which is helping with healthier (Down 11 pounds so far!!:-)
I'm glad you are feeling much more clear headed too, we are definitely going to do this!!
I am planning a low key weekend with the kids, how about you?
I am definitely feeling much more clear headed, and I have been doing weight watchers since stopping as well, which is helping with healthier (Down 11 pounds so far!!:-)
I'm glad you are feeling much more clear headed too, we are definitely going to do this!!
I am planning a low key weekend with the kids, how about you?
I'm also spending the weekend with the kids.... It's going to be 41 degrees c this weekend here in Perth so think we will not be far from the pool or beach.....X
You're doing so great Delilah xxx
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Perth Western Australia
Posts: 2,671
Originally Posted by lisatryingagain
I went to an event last night and I drank. I had two glasses. I knew I would. It was an event I felt I had to go to, fully knowing that it would stir up very painful feelings for me.
Truthfully I don't feel guilty that I drank last night. Which makes me wonder maybe I shouldn't be on here. I know my life is better without alcohol, but I am not beating myself up at all about last night.
I am going to see a dr next Wednesday to get a referral for a psychologist who specialises in PTSD. I got the verbal recommendation for this psychologist over a year ago, and haven't acted on it. I am afraid I will have to go into all that horrible **** from the past and not actually come out the other side feeling better about it.
I could have reached out here for support in the days leading up to the event last night, as I knew a few days ago I would probably drink there. But I chose not to, not wanting to have to think about the whys of why I would have a drink there. Its just very painful.
I am very proud of all of you who are staying strong and choosing to face things without booze. Be very proud of yourselves also.
Truthfully I don't feel guilty that I drank last night. Which makes me wonder maybe I shouldn't be on here. I know my life is better without alcohol, but I am not beating myself up at all about last night.
I am going to see a dr next Wednesday to get a referral for a psychologist who specialises in PTSD. I got the verbal recommendation for this psychologist over a year ago, and haven't acted on it. I am afraid I will have to go into all that horrible **** from the past and not actually come out the other side feeling better about it.
I could have reached out here for support in the days leading up to the event last night, as I knew a few days ago I would probably drink there. But I chose not to, not wanting to have to think about the whys of why I would have a drink there. Its just very painful.
I am very proud of all of you who are staying strong and choosing to face things without booze. Be very proud of yourselves also.
I also have PTSD (untreated) and tried going to the psych last time I tried to quit alcohol but it was too much for me. Quitting alcohol is difficult enough that I wasn't able to also work through my past. Be kind to yourself and just be careful you're not trying to address too much all at once. I know that I've taken drugs and used alcohol to numb and self medicate to cope with blocking out some of my traumatic experiences... It can open a huge can of worms if you aren't emotionally supported and prepared... Sending you love honey..
Today is a new day xx
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Perth Western Australia
Posts: 2,671
Originally Posted by MAV
I am so grateful for your posts. There are so many people who just read here and get so much from it. And then get the strength to post themselves. This is what makes SR so wonderful... People like you, Nic, Odelle, SB, Dee (obvs!) etc.,. Everyone.
I watched a documentary on alcoholics tonight. 8 different people gave their story. (Was a bit odd.. Spent the whole thing wondering why I thought I knew one of them... Turns out I do, only very loosely mind, he organised a conference that I presented at... Still deciding whether to email him...) - anyway, one of the people on there said something really true - "the only people who can help alcoholics are alcoholics" - like, it's so hard to talk to non-alcoholics because they just... Don't... Get... It. But alcoholics, whether you've been recovered 25 years or on day 1, they get it. I thought - yep, that sounds right.
Hence SR and everyone who posts here... It helps.
I watched a documentary on alcoholics tonight. 8 different people gave their story. (Was a bit odd.. Spent the whole thing wondering why I thought I knew one of them... Turns out I do, only very loosely mind, he organised a conference that I presented at... Still deciding whether to email him...) - anyway, one of the people on there said something really true - "the only people who can help alcoholics are alcoholics" - like, it's so hard to talk to non-alcoholics because they just... Don't... Get... It. But alcoholics, whether you've been recovered 25 years or on day 1, they get it. I thought - yep, that sounds right.
Hence SR and everyone who posts here... It helps.
That's why this is such a great forum. We are all in the same boat, struggling together, but there to help when we can.
I've watched some great docos on alcoholics/alcoholism during my period of wondering do I / do I not have a problem?!!!! The fact I needed to validate the question in itself answers that one lol!!
Hope you're doing great Mav.. I reckon send that email- might mean the world them that you've acknowledged them.... Xx
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Perth Western Australia
Posts: 2,671
Originally Posted by Mish
I'm still here. Went to AA meeting on Monday. Last week there was three of us, this week it was only me sitting in the carpark as no one else turned up! The joys of living in such a small remote town. Had a revelation this week. First week back at work and realised I'm in the wrong job. In the past I would justify my drinking by saying my job has so much pressure but I realised this week that I have the choice not to be in such an intense job so I am applying for another role this week with 100 times less stress and more money. Wish me luck. Looking forward to catching up on all your posts this weekend. Love you guys xxx
The one I went to last night was 30 mins away( even though we do have 3 evening ones a week in out town) I felt being Friday night that I would like to sit my butt in a meeting!!
On Sunday morning I'm travelling to a meeting about 45 mins away as I'm not too happy on the one on in my town.... Just trying new ones!!!
All my fingers and toes are crossed for your new job....keep us posted... Love X
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 120
Thanks Nic, I appreciate that a lot.
Mav I agree with Nic, that person may feel very raw and exposed after being so honest and open. If you feel comfortable doing so reaching out to them could be a very nice thing to do.
I watched the Doco too and thought it was very good.
Mav I agree with Nic, that person may feel very raw and exposed after being so honest and open. If you feel comfortable doing so reaching out to them could be a very nice thing to do.
I watched the Doco too and thought it was very good.
Sober date: 20th May 2023
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,384
Originally Posted by Nic233
That would be a little disappointing making the effort to go to a meeting to find that no one else had turned up. Do they not have a President of that group? How far would you have to travel to go to another meeting?
The one I went to last night was 30 mins away( even though we do have 3 evening ones a week in out town) I felt being Friday night that I would like to sit my butt in a meeting!!
On Sunday morning I'm travelling to a meeting about 45 mins away as I'm not too happy on the one on in my town.... Just trying new ones!!!
All my fingers and toes are crossed for your new job....keep us posted... Love X
The one I went to last night was 30 mins away( even though we do have 3 evening ones a week in out town) I felt being Friday night that I would like to sit my butt in a meeting!!
On Sunday morning I'm travelling to a meeting about 45 mins away as I'm not too happy on the one on in my town.... Just trying new ones!!!
All my fingers and toes are crossed for your new job....keep us posted... Love X
it doesn't matter. Aparently during the dry (tourist) season numbers pick up because of all the AA travellers popping in on their travels. I was able to connect with the absent members via txt on that night so had the support of two gorgeous people. I was secretly happy because hubby wanted to go out and Id been at work all day and missed my kids. So I got the support but also got to do all my Mum stuff (bath, dinner, homework). The glass is always half full...remember that beautiful friends. xxx
Sober date: 20th May 2023
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,384
Originally Posted by Nic233
Hey lovelies,
I'm going ok- already stressing about a family function I have to attend next weekend. Definitely don't feel strong enough to be around a bunch of drunk people but my Aunty and uncle are over from the uk so have little choice.
It's really worrying me how to handle it and can't even think of any plans to put in place. Mum knows I'm not drinking(it's at her place) She even offered not to drink either - which will solve nothing lol
Any suggestions? I'm known as the one who loves her drink- me saying his time that I'm not drinking as I'm trying to lose weight will not cut it.
It's going to be an Aussie all afternoon BBQ affair
I'm going ok- already stressing about a family function I have to attend next weekend. Definitely don't feel strong enough to be around a bunch of drunk people but my Aunty and uncle are over from the uk so have little choice.
It's really worrying me how to handle it and can't even think of any plans to put in place. Mum knows I'm not drinking(it's at her place) She even offered not to drink either - which will solve nothing lol
Any suggestions? I'm known as the one who loves her drink- me saying his time that I'm not drinking as I'm trying to lose weight will not cut it.
It's going to be an Aussie all afternoon BBQ affair
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,643
Going back through this and the previous thread, I listed names of users who posted to the Class of January 2016 thread(s). Some members post infrequently, some may have joined the February Class thread, and some are MIA. If I missed anyone, please give a shout out and I will add your name.
Bandicoot2
Beerbgone
Benice
Bluedog97
Cahabr
Caramel
CarrieBradshaw
ClearCut
Delilah1
Dickensen
Emme99
Eyeshake
GramParsons
GriffyS1989
Gypsytears
Haris2014
illi1111
JCNY
Jhend
JL2014
JulySeaCoast
KDBnSLC
Kiki0615
Lisatryingagain
Loopylou
Lulu212
M1A1
MAV
Meshelly
Mesober35
Mish
Nic233
NZK9Lady
Odelle
Olivia2011
Optimist4ever57
Patricia68
Pedro1234
ProudPenguin
RallyAly
RogerKlotz
Sadie1
SandyO
Sean30
Shantilove
SillyHuman
SoberinSyracuse
Steve3929
Strangeangel
StrongBird
StrugglingJim
Sunflowerlife
Thumpalumpacus
TigerLili
Tnek97
Tnt44
Trees39
Vanaprastha
Zeebs
ZeldaFan
We could do more with the list, depending on how everyone feels about it. My past experience with posting sobriety dates is that it can be a deterrent to someone who has slipped to make the announcement and have then have their date reset. If it’s okay with everyone here, we can each track our sobriety time and give a shout out when a milestone has been reached so that others can acknowledge the achievement. How do you feel about listing dates of birth, month and day?
Bandicoot2
Beerbgone
Benice
Bluedog97
Cahabr
Caramel
CarrieBradshaw
ClearCut
Delilah1
Dickensen
Emme99
Eyeshake
GramParsons
GriffyS1989
Gypsytears
Haris2014
illi1111
JCNY
Jhend
JL2014
JulySeaCoast
KDBnSLC
Kiki0615
Lisatryingagain
Loopylou
Lulu212
M1A1
MAV
Meshelly
Mesober35
Mish
Nic233
NZK9Lady
Odelle
Olivia2011
Optimist4ever57
Patricia68
Pedro1234
ProudPenguin
RallyAly
RogerKlotz
Sadie1
SandyO
Sean30
Shantilove
SillyHuman
SoberinSyracuse
Steve3929
Strangeangel
StrongBird
StrugglingJim
Sunflowerlife
Thumpalumpacus
TigerLili
Tnek97
Tnt44
Trees39
Vanaprastha
Zeebs
ZeldaFan
We could do more with the list, depending on how everyone feels about it. My past experience with posting sobriety dates is that it can be a deterrent to someone who has slipped to make the announcement and have then have their date reset. If it’s okay with everyone here, we can each track our sobriety time and give a shout out when a milestone has been reached so that others can acknowledge the achievement. How do you feel about listing dates of birth, month and day?
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
There are some great tips here - for any social occasion Nic
Crying Out Now: Thanksgiving Survival Guide
Crying Out Now: Thanksgiving Survival Guide
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 32,374
Well that was weird, I had such a good post compiled and when I went to post it I became logged out and lost it! Trying again:
Lisa - best wishes for your psychologist referral.
Nic - are you able to byo e.g. Pellegrino or other mineral water, cranberry juice, whatever you like? Hope you enjoy catching up with your UK relatives and I hope they know to wear hats and sunscreen!
Odelle - nice to see a list of names all in one place. I would not want to have my birthday date listed.
Lisa - best wishes for your psychologist referral.
Nic - are you able to byo e.g. Pellegrino or other mineral water, cranberry juice, whatever you like? Hope you enjoy catching up with your UK relatives and I hope they know to wear hats and sunscreen!
Odelle - nice to see a list of names all in one place. I would not want to have my birthday date listed.
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