Nic233

Well done on day 13- what a great effort!!! 2 weeks tomorrow girlie!!!

I wouldn't worry too much about the weight. A lady from my AA grow told me that if I add in a quick daily walk with my dog and stay with the clean eating(weight watchers) eventually in a few weeks the weight will fall off!!! I'm just keeping that in mind every time I'm disappointed!!!

White noise works great for me... I have the aircon going but also have my ceiling fan running even in colder months because it lulls me to sleep!!!! Xx

Haris2014

thanks for all the comments... i am putting my inner doctor away.. i think i got stuck on that train of thought due to the fact i need to know whats happening inside.. incremental returns compared to days sober, something tangible i guess.

but i feel a whole lot better today... no pains anywhere, loads of energy, physical appearance not of a drunk but of a normal guy my age.
No urges at all, sat down for dinner last night with family and friends, people were drinking wine (not lots, couple of glasses each i guess) and i didn't think about it after about 20 mins of envy.

one thing drunk me was scared of was the personality change not drinking would inevitably have...would i still be up for a laugh, be able to stand up in front of people, lead the conversations etc...
what a load of toss the booze tells us to keep us under its spell...i had more fun last night, more in control of every aspect of the evening...and hell, people still laughed at my apawling jokes. i found myself more tolerant of people, easier to engage in conversation and my face hurts from smiling and laughing

so today is day 19... and i am starting to believe in myself. BIG party with friends tomorrow which i am really looking forward to... a week ago i was dreading it... but i got this!

good luck everyone and thanks for your nice comments and support, i hope i can help you soon like you are helping me

Sunflowerlife

Haris, your post brought happy tears to my eyes which shows me you already are helping others. You sound so full of joy, as if your heart is thanking you for your sobriety.

I often fear the sober me as I have always drank to be more social, more enjoyable, more likeable. It's nice to know that it is possible to still have fun without the drink (haven't really been in a social setting yet). Thank you so much for sharing that, so glad you are believing in YOU!

Sunflowerlife

Good morning my friends- 6:37 am over here in Florida and I am enjoying the morning peace while it lasts. Man, it's been a hell of a few days but I am so grateful to be waking up sober without any regrets from yesterday. I was so damn close to getting that bottle of wine yesterday, it's scary. My AV was convincing me that I don't have to be sober, that I can drink every now and then. I think part of me still wonders if I really have a problem. Of course, the rest of me knows I do. I am just still hung up on the concept of never enjoying another drink again. Seems like such a loss (I know it isn't). But after relying on substances for for almost 25 years, it's hard to imagine having to actually deal with all of these emotions on my own.

Anyway, going to take it one day at a time and for today, I am going to stay sober.

Planning on taking the baby to the gym and going to leave him for 10 minutes this time in the child care. I even had a dream about it which shows me that I have more anxiety about the whole process than I was willing to admit to myself (no one wants to see their baby crying). I tend to do that a lot- pretend everything is fine until I realize I am not coping very well and then it's like, "Aha!" No wonder I am a mess! Perhaps I am missing part of my brain from drinking and drugging for so many years, lol.

I have so many goals for myself and am not sure where to start but I do realize I have been putting way to much pressure on me. Trying to get off the meds, trying to lose weight and get in shape for the arrival of my family this month, trying to stay sober, trying to be a better Mom. It's just too much. I feel like all I want to do most days is come home after dropping off DS and watch tv all day. I don't want to be so lazy- I used to work out 6 days a week. I just wish I knew how to get past this slump.

Well, there I go again. I was going to make this a happy post and ended up making it all about me me me and my stupid issues. I don't want to come across as the perpetual whiner, the sob story, the girl who is always complaining. I don't like being that person anymore.

Looking forward to the days when I can forgive me, love me, adore me, and care for me naturally. When does that day get here?

Nic233

Had an another amazing meeting tonight.... I literally come out of them more motivated to stay sober than ever before..
Friday and Saturday nights in themselves are huge triggers for me but I'm finding that getting out is really helping with the cravings.
A day at a time so they say- it seems to be working for me... I just want to live a sober, long and healthy life for myself and my boys.
I hope everyone else is having a great start to the weekend. Stay close to SR and we will get through this together...
Hugs to all- goodnight xxxx

Odelle

Sunflower, stop beating yourself up for posting how you are feeling! FYI, much of your post I could have written myself, especially the part of going from a gym rat to a drunken couch potato. The shame and embarrassment of my poor choices over a lifetime is unnerving at times. BUT, I can't change the past or predict the future, so for today, I choose to eat healthy and increase my physical activity. Okay, so I'm off to walk the dog now, I'll catch up with everyone later.

StrongBird

Oh Sun, don't you dare feel that way! We have to have a safe space to whine, even if we don't realize we need to. I don't come across this whiny in real life but I need to let it out sometimes... and I don't want to be the only whiner!

Seriously, you sharing your real, raw, honest emotions makes me feel better about my real, raw, honest emotions. We all need someone to lean on and I'm glad we can be your people sometimes!

strugglingJim

day 32, some days are better than others, such is life. Stress dreams last night, I hate how that affects the start of my day. But, drunk or sober, life has its challenges, easier to navigate when sober. Business is slow, creditors are calling, future is uncertain. SSDD

RallyAly

Ooh Friday I was more productive at work this week but not as much as I needed to be so will be partially a work weekend for me. I was sort of cravey last night but was H of HALT and also craving pad thai. Pulled the trigger on take out pad thai - which blew my weekly weigh-in for the contest I'm part of but still a number of weeks to go and putting sobriety first. I have a meeting tonight of the local ghost hunter's group (I'm not a member but will attend in my wife's stead, plus most of the small group are friends). Then tomorrow I have lunch and movie with my parents and super bowl party sunday. That reminds me - need to take a bunch of chicken wings out of the freezer! Feeling strong about the super bowl but still a bit of planning on beverage/s to bring, etc.

Sunflowerlife

Thanks guys. This is turning out to be a pretty fantastic day! No yelling this morning when getting the boys out the door, and baby Evan let me work out for 30minutes at the gym! I was shocked.

We just ran some errands, I got 3 books for under two dollars and I am about to take him to the playground. It's a beautiful day outside, chilly but sunny. Loving every moment and going to ride this feeling for as long as I can. Love you guys...

Sunflowerlife

Ghost hunting? That sounds intriguing! Sounds like you have a lot of great things planned for the weekend. What movie are you going to see? I am going to the movies on Monday but don't even know what is out. Have a great weekend!

RallyAly

I have never gone on a "hunt" with the ghost group. The assoc is geared towards, and spends the majority of their time, debunking stuff. I lean very much towards the skeptic side when it comes to anything beyond the natural and scientifically explorable world... Though a couple of strange first-hand experiences have moved my opinion from "that is 100% explainable without anything supernatural" to "*perhaps* there is something going on, beyond the generally understood natural world."

For movie, we're going to go see Hail Caesar! I saw The Big Short (good, funny, great cast) last weekend and Mockingjay Part 2 (good for fans of the series) a couple of weeks ago. I don't go to movies that much but part of my plan for evenings and weekend is movies as fun things to do that don't involve beer. Have a great weekend too!

Thumpalumpacus

Beautiful day here in Central Texas; over at my mom's awaiting cousins down from Dallas.

I haven't caught up on the thread today, but I do wish love and peace on everyone here.

mav

I am so grateful for your posts. There are so many people who just read here and get so much from it. And then get the strength to post themselves. This is what makes SR so wonderful... People like you, Nic, Odelle, SB, Dee (obvs!) etc.,. Everyone.

I watched a documentary on alcoholics tonight. 8 different people gave their story. (Was a bit odd.. Spent the whole thing wondering why I thought I knew one of them... Turns out I do, only very loosely mind, he organised a conference that I presented at... Still deciding whether to email him...) - anyway, one of the people on there said something really true - "the only people who can help alcoholics are alcoholics" - like, it's so hard to talk to non-alcoholics because they just... Don't... Get... It. But alcoholics, whether you've been recovered 25 years or on day 1, they get it. I thought - yep, that sounds right.

Hence SR and everyone who posts here... It helps.

Olivia2011

Great posts again! I went to the gym today and as I was looking at ppl it dawned on my how ppl do depend on each other. The gym is loaded with ppl trying to better themselves. Everyone there for the same thing. Nice to have that going on.
The same thing goes for AA, Weight Watchers, gambling annonymous (shopping, eating, etc), parades, sports, musicals, you name it. SR is a tremendous help for all of us struggling and also trying to help your fellow man.

Life is good. God is good. Just so glad I got my groove back! Hah!

Husband still sober. Says he's good now. Got that crap out of his system and loving life too.

I am still enjoying my hypnosis tape. It relaxes me and gets me thinking. Sun, any more hypnosis sessions? Even this stuff I listen to would be good if the sessions are too expensive.

Shower and paperwork. Went to get a Red Box and the place didn't have a machine any more. Oh well, didn't feel like back tracking.

Take care all. Thanks again for all the support here.

Sunflowerlife

Hey friend- no more hypnosis sessions although I did download one a couple weeks ago for my anger. Her name is Anna Thompson. Really great voice and she has tons of topics. I would love to continue with live hypnosis but I can't afford it ($300 for 3 sessions. ) Glad you are doing well and so glad you are feeling back on track. How wonderful that your husband is sober too! Funny, but after the one time when DH annoyed me when he was drunk (and I told him how awful he looked) he hasn't touched a drink. Pretty great the kind of influence we can have on those in our lives.

Oh, get the redbox app! You can browse locations and hold DVDs. Also, if you sign up for emails you get promo codes for free movies all the time.

SandyO

Good morning everyone. Glad to hear you are feeling better, Sunflower. We can ride through the rough times to really appreciate the good moments. So happy you are enjoying your day. It really is a struggle early on as we start to unravel ourselves. My number one recent issue and stress was my drinking. Now that it has stopped all the other emotions good and bad are coming to surface. I can really appreciate and enjoy the good feelings and deal with the bad a little better. I've also noticed the bad feelings don't seem to last as long because I'm not beating myself up about not being present in my life. It turns out I can be grumpy and a b***ch while sober too!!
Nic, I hope you've had a better nights sleep. I have the sleepy tea before bed and started listening to a guided sleep mediation on YouTube as I doze off. It seems to be working for me at the moment.
Lucky day 13 today. I read my post from last June when I was at this stage. I haven't lost the weight and I don't look as fresh as I did back then. Oh well, it was summer and I had to work really hard early on to keep myself busy. Also, I relapsed after 30 days so not being in the same place is fine with me.
I will join many of you in the fight to lose weight. I've never been on a diet before. I thought I might start counting calories just to see exactly what I am eating. I've never thought about it before. I have a dance recital coming up at the end of the month. I do flamenco as a hobby. I am bigger than the rest of the ladies already. Back home in oz, I'm of normal weight (size 12, although leaning towards 14 atm) and a little short. Here I am tall, fat with a big nose! I know we are just physically different but I still look like a whale compared to the others. Anyways, need to lose more weight so I can feel better about myself. Instead of the gym today, I'll get up on the roof to shovel some ( a lot) of snow.
Hope you all have a great sober day.

Mish

I'm still here. Went to AA meeting on Monday. Last week there was three of us, this week it was only me sitting in the carpark as no one else turned up! The joys of living in such a small remote town. Had a revelation this week. First week back at work and realised I'm in the wrong job. In the past I would justify my drinking by saying my job has so much pressure but I realised this week that I have the choice not to be in such an intense job so I am applying for another role this week with 100 times less stress and more money. Wish me luck. Looking forward to catching up on all your posts this weekend. Love you guys xxx

Sunflowerlife

That is a huge revelation! Must be a relief to finally know what you want or don't want from your job. Good luck with your application process!!

Caramel

Thanks for your encouraging posts, everyone.
Mish - that is indeed a revelation, and I wish you every success in finding an occupation that you enjoy.
I'm going out for a short walk in a little while.
It is Day 14 on the new Planet for me, looking forward to the future.
Take care, all.