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Class of February 2016 Support Thread Part 1

Old 02-02-2016, 01:36 PM
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Made it couple of weeks then crashed Sunday. Poured it all into a glass yesterday, then threw it out. Posted it in January class as a small win. Small win on the wrong month ! Lol
Day 2. Not my first go at sobriety, but I know some you and are glad to see you.
Today I don't drink-
Nice to meet you all I haven't talked to yet.
I'm Jeff, 44, married, 3 sons, 2 jobs, 1 major hang up : I drank to hide from my troubles. Caused more troubles. I hope I'm done !
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Old 02-02-2016, 02:26 PM
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Glad you poured it out, JL2014.

Off to work now. Hope everyone has a nice sober evening.
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Old 02-02-2016, 02:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Grendhar View Post
Day 2 started a few minutes ago. Woke up feeling committed to a successful day.
Day 2 for me too Gredhar!
I feel good about successfully not drinking today too....
Off to the dentist though to deal with some chipped back teeth, a result of a drunken stumble and a reminder of why I'm here and the need to kick this thing.
Highly anxious as I don't deal with dentists at the best of times and I know I need lots of work done. Thankfully no front teeth messed up but could have easily been from the way I landed.
So many new posts from last time I logged in..
Nice way to spend a piece of my morning reading through.
-Tink
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Old 02-02-2016, 02:49 PM
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Originally Posted by beerbgone View Post
Beginning my day 2 also Grendhar. My first night wasn't as bad as I expected. I slept 5 hours. Not really enough but better than after my previous 8 day bender. After that one I didn't sleep at all. 0 zilch nada!

I'm hoping for a great day today and hoping everybody else has one too!
Another day 2er. We can do this!
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Old 02-02-2016, 02:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Applekat View Post
Good morning! Nothing better than a sober morning! Day 2.
Will be fighting the urge to grab a bottle of wine for after kiddos' bedtime as I'm on my own tonight. I need a great movie or book to indulge in instead...
Thinking of you Applekat! I'm home alone too while the OH is away for work. That's a huge trigger time for me too. Here's to day 2
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Old 02-02-2016, 03:32 PM
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Originally Posted by SleepyDots View Post
whiteturtle, you aren't weak. You're not. Like all of us here, you have a problem with alcohol and while not drinking is simple, it is not always easy. When we have turned to alcohol so many times in the past, it takes effort to change but it is so worth it. Think about some things you can do this evening other than drinking, it is easier to get through those difficult hours when you have a list of options on hand, if you're like me when you get hit with a craving it can be hard to think clearly of anything else, so planning for it in advance is crucial, IMO. Try not to overwhelm yourself with thoughts of forever, just get through tonight, then we'll deal with tomorrow tomorrow.
Great post sleepydots.
I too have avoided having a structured plan when the cravings hit hard. I realise this has been my downfall.
Nice to meet you too new fellow Februarians, Juancarlos, Jeni, Mel, Mia, Mns1, whiteturtle, kittycat, soberjim, Zap.
Nice to see you from January Virginia Woof and JL2014.
I highly recommend too checking in daily on the 24hr thread.
Have a great day/ night whatever it may be for you.
-Tink
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Old 02-02-2016, 03:43 PM
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Just did my initial check-in at a detox hospital this afternoon and awaiting an intake call. I'm hoping it comes tonight so I can potentially get a bed tomorrow and make tomorrow day 1 of being steadily sober.
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Old 02-02-2016, 03:43 PM
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Wow. I read through this entire thread, and had no idea how many family folk are struggling through this... Holy smokes. In the midst of writing this, violence between my alcoholic parents while I was a child flashed through my mind. The memories are so vivid. The yelling, striking, drunk driving accidents while I was in the car. My parents are in their late 70's and barely able to pay rent with no retirement funds or health insurance. I help them out most of the time.

I've never been violent the way my father was toward us, and reinforces how much alcohol can affect a family negatively. I'm almost 40, and feel like a kid as I ran away and raised myself. I have been turned down on so many dates lately because of my drinking. My prior relationship was alcohol driven, and I vowed to quit for at least a month. We were going to do it together, then she fell off the wagon after a few days and told me I would never be able to get through a month. That gave me impetus to complete the month, and it was difficult, as she would always bring wine to share, and I'd refuse. I got through the month, left her, and the next day she slept with someone else. I hit the bottle again and have been stagnating since. The main reason (among others) I left was the drinking, yet I chose to drink through the aftermath? It doesn't make sense. I since took 18 days off, then had a bad date that made me feel worthless and relapsed.

If I want to be with an awesome, healthy person, I have to take care of myself first. I thought it wouldn't be too difficult here in CO as most everyone is an athlete, but found myself in the social outskirts doing the wrong thing. It scares me that I may end up in a position whereby I relapse with a wife and kids. I can only imagine how difficult that would be. Rewinding my childhood, my injuries, my unhealthy lifestyle, and lack of motivation in general makes me re-evaluate what's important in life, and my future. I know exactly what I need to remove from my life in order to be a solid person. I've been messing it up, blaming circumstances, parents, etc., but I can't change the past.

I am starting a new beginning again. I must, unless I want to die an excruciating death alone. I also feel I need to abstain from pursuing a relationship while I am detoxing. That always seems to be my trigger.
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Old 02-02-2016, 04:12 PM
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Day 4. Low energy level, which I am not sure it because of Friday's bender or something else. Feeling positive mentally. Stuck indoors tonight due to a blizzard outside... no alcohol in the house so I am guaranteed to get to Day 5! Stay strong everybody!
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Old 02-02-2016, 04:17 PM
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Originally Posted by UhZoomZip View Post
Just did my initial check-in at a detox hospital this afternoon and awaiting an intake call. I'm hoping it comes tonight so I can potentially get a bed tomorrow and make tomorrow day 1 of being steadily sober.
That's a big step...very brave of you... . Keep us posted... Will be thinking of you and hope you get that call today.
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Old 02-02-2016, 04:31 PM
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Originally Posted by sobersolstice View Post
Wow. I read through this entire thread, and had no idea how many family folk are struggling through this... Holy smokes. In the midst of writing this, violence between my alcoholic parents while I was a child flashed through my mind. The memories are so vivid. The yelling, striking, drunk driving accidents while I was in the car. My parents are in their late 70's and barely able to pay rent with no retirement funds or health insurance. I help them out most of the time.

I've never been violent the way my father was toward us, and reinforces how much alcohol can affect a family negatively. I'm almost 40, and feel like a kid as I ran away and raised myself. I have been turned down on so many dates lately because of my drinking. My prior relationship was alcohol driven, and I vowed to quit for at least a month. We were going to do it together, then she fell off the wagon after a few days and told me I would never be able to get through a month. That gave me impetus to complete the month, and it was difficult, as she would always bring wine to share, and I'd refuse. I got through the month, left her, and the next day she slept with someone else. I hit the bottle again and have been stagnating since. The main reason (among others) I left was the drinking, yet I chose to drink through the aftermath? It doesn't make sense. I since took 18 days off, then had a bad date that made me feel worthless and relapsed.

If I want to be with an awesome, healthy person, I have to take care of myself first. I thought it wouldn't be too difficult here in CO as most everyone is an athlete, but found myself in the social outskirts doing the wrong thing. It scares me that I may end up in a position whereby I relapse with a wife and kids. I can only imagine how difficult that would be. Rewinding my childhood, my injuries, my unhealthy lifestyle, and lack of motivation in general makes me re-evaluate what's important in life, and my future. I know exactly what I need to remove from my life in order to be a solid person. I've been messing it up, blaming circumstances, parents, etc., but I can't change the past.

I am starting a new beginning again. I must, unless I want to die an excruciating death alone. I also feel I need to abstain from pursuing a relationship while I am detoxing. That always seems to be my trigger.
Your post is very insightful. You know where your priorities lie... Getting yourself healthy and sober before you even consider dating again and looking for a partner to start a family with.
Kids see and take it all in as you know from experience. It's awful you had a childhood as you describe.
It's really nice to welcome you to the February class.
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Old 02-02-2016, 05:03 PM
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Checking in! I did get a book to try, and a slice of cake. Now just have one more kid to get to bed (though they do not all sleep through the night anyway). Snuggling!

Ladybug, check in!!
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Old 02-02-2016, 05:13 PM
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Sober solstice I hear you on the loud childhood. I'm 44, had one of those too, but my mother wasn't a drinker, just super psycho. Father was the drunk. He dues when I was young.
Anyway, , good plan on waiting for the cleanup somewhat before dating. I married a drunk the first go. It was hell until I decided to be a bachelor forever after. Got married again yrs and yrs later. 10 yrs now.
Point is : good plan
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Old 02-02-2016, 05:13 PM
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Applekat I'm loving the quote !
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Old 02-02-2016, 05:13 PM
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Evening check in. Hangover from yesterday still making me feel nauseous, won't be able to eat much for dinner but I'll try. I have water, tea, and my couch.
Thankful I'm home and sober, even if I feel like I have a mess to clean up again....like my broken self esteem and confidence.
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Old 02-02-2016, 05:15 PM
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Sober solstice I can relate a lot to your post. I'm single too and have decided to put dating on hold until I get stronger. (I relapsed on a date last week, frankly because I wanted to drink.) best that I work on myself and rebuilding from the inside first, so I can attract the right kind of people. Thanks for sharing.
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Old 02-02-2016, 06:16 PM
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Day 2 went by fairly uneventfully. A little brain fog but nothing bad. Maybe after a good sleep tonight that'll be gone tomorrow.

Have a good evening everybody!
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Old 02-02-2016, 06:28 PM
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I see so many familiar names...Jeni, JL, Virginia, kittycat...and of course applekat and Ladybug. Welcome to all, whether it's the first time around or the hundredth. I'm up there in the hundredth category. But all that matters is that we are here, trying again.
Day 17 for me, and at this point the days blend together, and the newness of it wears off a little. I have to admit, that reading about day ones an twos really is a good reminder and it quickly shuts my AV up. But it feels good to be doing the right things, and to not feel guilt and shame, or like I'm always hiding something.

I have been thinking a lot today about what leads to drinking again after some sober time. I guess that would be called a relapse, but I just don't like that word for some reason. Anyway, for me, it is usually preceded by allowing myself to consider it. In fact, I caught myself doing it today. I took the day off on Friday and will be alone all day (which I enjoy). BUT, I noticed my mind today start to drift into thinking of how I COULD drink if I wanted to. Kids would be at school, house to myself (rare occassion), nice weather, perfect "opportunity". Just enjoy drinking all by myself, just the way I like it.
NO WAY! I feel too good. I'm not starting over. And the idea of waking up Saturday morning and remembering that I blew it (again) is just not happening.
I am going to plan out my day to include lots of things I love, maybe even spoil myself a little. Just wanted to put all that out there!

Glad to see so many in this group already. Keep at it, this can really be "our" month!
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Old 02-02-2016, 06:33 PM
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Made it through day 2.
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Old 02-02-2016, 06:34 PM
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Oh....kittycat and sobersolstice...as much as I'd love to be in a (good) relationship, I just can't even entertain the idea of dating, sober or not, to be honest. I am healing from the end of a 12 year on and off (but intense) relationship that ended in a sad, even bitter way this past summer. I can't help but feel like I wasted so much time on him and I'm not getting any younger. But, ugh, just can't imagine dating.
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