Class of July 2013 Part 29
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 120
Leigh congratulations on your anniversary wow that's fantastic.
Snoozy well done on a month.
I went to my event last night and had 2 drinks. I feel like I am meant to share that with a sense of regret, but truthfully I am not feeling regret about that at all at the moment .
I am feeling overwhelmed by the PTSD that's the reason I fell apart - there were significant reminders of the events which I cant bring myself to talk about. I feel very sad that the things that happened to me did, and I know I can't change them and I have to learn how to deal with them. And I don't know if I can. But I know I need to try in order to have a meaningfully happy and fulfilled life. I can't keep hiding from the crap. So Im not hungover. I'm not filled with self loathing. I'm not sure if this is an inappropriate post. I'm doing my best.
Snoozy well done on a month.
I went to my event last night and had 2 drinks. I feel like I am meant to share that with a sense of regret, but truthfully I am not feeling regret about that at all at the moment .
I am feeling overwhelmed by the PTSD that's the reason I fell apart - there were significant reminders of the events which I cant bring myself to talk about. I feel very sad that the things that happened to me did, and I know I can't change them and I have to learn how to deal with them. And I don't know if I can. But I know I need to try in order to have a meaningfully happy and fulfilled life. I can't keep hiding from the crap. So Im not hungover. I'm not filled with self loathing. I'm not sure if this is an inappropriate post. I'm doing my best.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ma
Posts: 3,553
Originally Posted by Dee74 
I can't help it it makes me think you're depriving yourself or even worse punishing yourself by not posting here Leshar.
You are worthy of support
we're your friends and we want to know and share in your life good and bad
D
You are worthy of support
we're your friends and we want to know and share in your life good and bad
D
Leshar, you are a very important part of this class.
Now get back here!
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,415
Hey lisa
many of us have to deal with other things beside simply alcoholism...I started drinking over trauma.
The thing is...drinking doesn't help - I know it might seems like it does but we never actually get to deal with the trauma.
we just push it aside for a few hours and it comes back again later.
Over a few years it gets kinda rusted on.
whatever horrible things happened to you you deserve to let them go so they can't hurt you anymore.
It's a long process and you may need some outside help but I really decide that you'll go for it
D
many of us have to deal with other things beside simply alcoholism...I started drinking over trauma.
The thing is...drinking doesn't help - I know it might seems like it does but we never actually get to deal with the trauma.
we just push it aside for a few hours and it comes back again later.
Over a few years it gets kinda rusted on.
whatever horrible things happened to you you deserve to let them go so they can't hurt you anymore.
It's a long process and you may need some outside help but I really decide that you'll go for it
D
Originally Posted by lisatryingagain
Leigh congratulations on your anniversary wow that's fantastic.
Snoozy well done on a month.
I went to my event last night and had 2 drinks. I feel like I am meant to share that with a sense of regret, but truthfully I am not feeling regret about that at all at the moment .
I am feeling overwhelmed by the PTSD that's the reason I fell apart - there were significant reminders of the events which I cant bring myself to talk about. I feel very sad that the things that happened to me did, and I know I can't change them and I have to learn how to deal with them. And I don't know if I can. But I know I need to try in order to have a meaningfully happy and fulfilled life. I can't keep hiding from the crap. So Im not hungover. I'm not filled with self loathing. I'm not sure if this is an inappropriate post. I'm doing my best.
Snoozy well done on a month.
I went to my event last night and had 2 drinks. I feel like I am meant to share that with a sense of regret, but truthfully I am not feeling regret about that at all at the moment .
I am feeling overwhelmed by the PTSD that's the reason I fell apart - there were significant reminders of the events which I cant bring myself to talk about. I feel very sad that the things that happened to me did, and I know I can't change them and I have to learn how to deal with them. And I don't know if I can. But I know I need to try in order to have a meaningfully happy and fulfilled life. I can't keep hiding from the crap. So Im not hungover. I'm not filled with self loathing. I'm not sure if this is an inappropriate post. I'm doing my best.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
Congrats snooz!!
Let, whassuppp?
Lisa, I know drinking SEEMS like it helps PTSD, and it does push it to the side a bit, but many of us can tell you from hard earned experience that it ABSOUTELY DOES NOT.
Let's think about this for a sec. I only have your written words to go on so I could be missing the mark here, but I'm getting the impression that you are considering your lack of crippling remorse after a couple of drinks something of a win.
I remember that state of mind very well. It's no fun at all, and it's no way to live. You deserve to have higher hopes and bigger wishes than life just sucking less.
There is a way out, we can learn to deal with the trauma and the PTSD that came from it. It might take outside help in the form of a program or therapy or both, but it's worth it.
I spent years and years trying not to have flashbacks. As a teen, I learned to turn off my emotions. I didn't cry for8 years. In my 20's I learned to feel again, but that was scary too. So I learned to drink. In recovery, ice had to learnhowto deal with my stuff without drinking.
A strange thing really helped me with my flashbacks. Something happened that helped me learn not to fear them so much. Trying to help another alcoholic triggered all of my "stuff." One night, I had flashbacks all night and it was really intense. Then something else happened with the person we were trying to help, and it triggered a week of them. Morning noonandnight. I had them at work, home, driving. The best I got was the picture hated seeing would take a back seat while I taught, cooked, drove. Then waves of less and more intense.
It really sucked. But you know what? I don't fear them anymore! After 30 years, I'm free!
Sorry this is so long, I hope it helps a little. Everyone on this forum deserves better than "today I'm not remorseful," "today didn't completely suck." Everyone here deserves a good life. Recovery.
Let, whassuppp?
Lisa, I know drinking SEEMS like it helps PTSD, and it does push it to the side a bit, but many of us can tell you from hard earned experience that it ABSOUTELY DOES NOT.
Let's think about this for a sec. I only have your written words to go on so I could be missing the mark here, but I'm getting the impression that you are considering your lack of crippling remorse after a couple of drinks something of a win.
I remember that state of mind very well. It's no fun at all, and it's no way to live. You deserve to have higher hopes and bigger wishes than life just sucking less.
There is a way out, we can learn to deal with the trauma and the PTSD that came from it. It might take outside help in the form of a program or therapy or both, but it's worth it.
I spent years and years trying not to have flashbacks. As a teen, I learned to turn off my emotions. I didn't cry for8 years. In my 20's I learned to feel again, but that was scary too. So I learned to drink. In recovery, ice had to learnhowto deal with my stuff without drinking.
A strange thing really helped me with my flashbacks. Something happened that helped me learn not to fear them so much. Trying to help another alcoholic triggered all of my "stuff." One night, I had flashbacks all night and it was really intense. Then something else happened with the person we were trying to help, and it triggered a week of them. Morning noonandnight. I had them at work, home, driving. The best I got was the picture hated seeing would take a back seat while I taught, cooked, drove. Then waves of less and more intense.
It really sucked. But you know what? I don't fear them anymore! After 30 years, I'm free!
Sorry this is so long, I hope it helps a little. Everyone on this forum deserves better than "today I'm not remorseful," "today didn't completely suck." Everyone here deserves a good life. Recovery.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
Originally Posted by resolute50
That's awesome, Snoozums!!! Congratulations!!
I knew you could do it.
Welcome back to the world of the living.
It was so scary to have you struggling like that.
DON'T do that again!
I knew you could do it.
Welcome back to the world of the living.
It was so scary to have you struggling like that.
DON'T do that again!
Bob
you're so lovely xxx thank you . I won't do it again, I promise !
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
Hiya guys 
Lisa :-) I'm far from one to judge you sweetheart. You are doing your best. This is your safe place.
I think until you get the PTSD sorted, the drinking will continue. I know when I drank it numbed me ...but it was only momentarily! Everything I was going through was still there when I woke.
You can run , but you can't hide. I learnt that the hard way.
Just keep posting love, we are your friends & we are all here to support you xxx
Xx
Lisa :-) I'm far from one to judge you sweetheart. You are doing your best. This is your safe place.
I think until you get the PTSD sorted, the drinking will continue. I know when I drank it numbed me ...but it was only momentarily! Everything I was going through was still there when I woke.
You can run , but you can't hide. I learnt that the hard way.
Just keep posting love, we are your friends & we are all here to support you xxx
Xx
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
Agree with wehavs post 1000%, Lisa. No matter what happened - by drinking, you are continuing to put yourself in a dangerous place. In a sick way, we become our own perpetrator of trauma against ourselves. I cannot stress this enough. Continued use of alcohol does some pretty sick things to our mind.
You are worth more, you deserve more. We all intimately know the alcoholic mind here, and it seemed you were willing to let yourself off the hook if you drank when you posted about the event earlier in the week.
So, now you did what you predicted you might, what next? Continue to blame traumatic events every time you drink? You know that's not what you resolved to do when you stopped drinking?
Like Leigh says...we've all done the justifying, and I never, ever regretted when I "slipped". I always had just one. But within a couple of months I was usually back drinking again and alcohol was owning my ass. So, I would be more scared that you COULD stop at two, to be honest.
You are worth more, you deserve more. We all intimately know the alcoholic mind here, and it seemed you were willing to let yourself off the hook if you drank when you posted about the event earlier in the week.
So, now you did what you predicted you might, what next? Continue to blame traumatic events every time you drink? You know that's not what you resolved to do when you stopped drinking?
Like Leigh says...we've all done the justifying, and I never, ever regretted when I "slipped". I always had just one. But within a couple of months I was usually back drinking again and alcohol was owning my ass. So, I would be more scared that you COULD stop at two, to be honest.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
Originally Posted by Croissant
Like Leigh says...we've all done the justifying, and I never, ever regretted when I "slipped". I always had just one. But within a couple of months I was usually back drinking again and alcohol was owning my ass. So, I would be more scared that you COULD stop at two, to be honest.
I've heard from our lovely Leshar
She feels that if she posts , she is just going over the same things she has been for 2 years. & that it's all depressing for everyone. I assured her that we love her posts and miss her terribly. It's not the same without her.
I'm sure she will post again soon , we don't care about the content we care about you sweetheart
Please give us an eensy weensy post xxx
Xx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,474
Leshar honey ~ you are missed. Everyone here loves you and needs you.
Together we make up the whole. When one of us is missing, or hurt, we all feel it.
Please talk to us. ♥
Together we make up the whole. When one of us is missing, or hurt, we all feel it.
Please talk to us.
♥
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