Class of November 2015 Part 10
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 397
Hi everyone! Not really counting days but I am sober today 
I had a wonderful day.
I met my snowboarding friend at our favorite mountain for a beautiful bluebird day. It's been almost two years since I have snowboarded, as I was pregnant last winter. I'm also about 20+ heavier than I was pre-baby, so I've been a little nervous about going. But it was so much fun and I wish I would have gone sooner! I've been stuck in a pity party of isolation lately.
My friends drinks at the ski hill. I used to drink with her on occasion (depending if I was on or off the wagon at the time.) I wasn't too tempted today though after I played the tape through. Drinking while skiing/snowboarding is such a terrible idea anyway, but tons of people do it, there is a bar there! How stupid really, when you think about it. Even bars seem stupid to me now.
Congrats to everyone, you're doing great! Take care lastchance. I know what you mean about the obsession and how it's tiring. I've become addicted to SR, but for me, that's ok right now.
Hugs all!
I had a wonderful day. I met my snowboarding friend at our favorite mountain for a beautiful bluebird day. It's been almost two years since I have snowboarded, as I was pregnant last winter. I'm also about 20+ heavier than I was pre-baby, so I've been a little nervous about going. But it was so much fun and I wish I would have gone sooner! I've been stuck in a pity party of isolation lately.
My friends drinks at the ski hill. I used to drink with her on occasion (depending if I was on or off the wagon at the time.) I wasn't too tempted today though after I played the tape through. Drinking while skiing/snowboarding is such a terrible idea anyway, but tons of people do it, there is a bar there! How stupid really, when you think about it. Even bars seem stupid to me now.
Congrats to everyone, you're doing great! Take care lastchance. I know what you mean about the obsession and how it's tiring. I've become addicted to SR, but for me, that's ok right now.
Hugs all!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Somerset
Posts: 933
Hi folks,
I've been having huge mood swings and been doing some extreme catastrophising which, in turn is providing breakfast, lunch and dinner for my oh-too-faithful black dog, who is loving it.
I know I'm repeating what's been said but I think it's worth repeating. I've been reading up a bit more on PAWS and I'm confident all my current symptoms and maladies are just part of the healing process. It apparently peaks at 3 to 6 months after achieving sobriety so on a time line, here we are guys. This is "our time" so to speak.
So, I know it's been mentioned before but everyone hold tight and hang on in there. In a year's time we'll laugh about it to each other.
Love and hugs to everyone.
I've been having huge mood swings and been doing some extreme catastrophising which, in turn is providing breakfast, lunch and dinner for my oh-too-faithful black dog, who is loving it.
I know I'm repeating what's been said but I think it's worth repeating. I've been reading up a bit more on PAWS and I'm confident all my current symptoms and maladies are just part of the healing process. It apparently peaks at 3 to 6 months after achieving sobriety so on a time line, here we are guys. This is "our time" so to speak.
So, I know it's been mentioned before but everyone hold tight and hang on in there. In a year's time we'll laugh about it to each other.
Love and hugs to everyone.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 563
Hi Lastchance. I understand where you are coming from with being exhausted with the substance abuse talk. It can be overwhelming. In my experience, I had my first five weeks of sobriety by chance about a year and a half ago. Wasn't on SR, wasn't doing any type of recovery. Just wasn't drinking because I knew I couldn't anymore because it was ruining my life. My downfall was that alcohol was my coping mechanism, so when something traumatic happened (I realized I didn't love my boyfriend of three and a half years and needed to move out of our apartment) the only reprieve I had from those horrible feelings was alcohol. And I didn't even want to drink. But I did. And that turned into a relapse that it took eight months to break free from.
So my advise would be to keep your recovery in your heart, if not at the forefront of your mind every day. I don't want anyone here to relapse because it is horrible. I hope you can find a sober path that works for you
So my advise would be to keep your recovery in your heart, if not at the forefront of your mind every day. I don't want anyone here to relapse because it is horrible. I hope you can find a sober path that works for you
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 748
Originally Posted by Jemma44 
Hi everyone! Not really counting days but I am sober today I had a wonderful day.
I met my snowboarding friend at our favorite mountain for a beautiful bluebird day. It's been almost two years since I have snowboarded, as I was pregnant last winter. I'm also about 20+ heavier than I was pre-baby, so I've been a little nervous about going. But it was so much fun and I wish I would have gone sooner! I've been stuck in a pity party of isolation lately.
My friends drinks at the ski hill. I used to drink with her on occasion (depending if I was on or off the wagon at the time.) I wasn't too tempted today though after I played the tape through. Drinking while skiing/snowboarding is such a terrible idea anyway, but tons of people do it, there is a bar there! How stupid really, when you think about it. Even bars seem stupid to me now.
Congrats to everyone, you're doing great! Take care lastchance. I know what you mean about the obsession and how it's tiring. I've become addicted to SR, but for me, that's ok right now.
Hugs all!
I had a wonderful day. I met my snowboarding friend at our favorite mountain for a beautiful bluebird day. It's been almost two years since I have snowboarded, as I was pregnant last winter. I'm also about 20+ heavier than I was pre-baby, so I've been a little nervous about going. But it was so much fun and I wish I would have gone sooner! I've been stuck in a pity party of isolation lately.
My friends drinks at the ski hill. I used to drink with her on occasion (depending if I was on or off the wagon at the time.) I wasn't too tempted today though after I played the tape through. Drinking while skiing/snowboarding is such a terrible idea anyway, but tons of people do it, there is a bar there! How stupid really, when you think about it. Even bars seem stupid to me now.
Congrats to everyone, you're doing great! Take care lastchance. I know what you mean about the obsession and how it's tiring. I've become addicted to SR, but for me, that's ok right now.
Hugs all!
I have decided that we are taking a rain check on our ski vacations this winter. So disappointed because the slopes in both the Pyrenees and the Alps are in great condition and we love to ski en famille. But I also adore the apres ski... the hot mulled wine, the bars, the party ambiance which is prevelant in most of the stations where I live. I can't face it. The nearest station is just a touch too far for a day trip so a weekend minimum is necessary.
I am sending the children on the school's ski week in Switzerland for the first time because I feel guilty. I don't want them to have to miss out. But I am really hoping that next year I will feel strong enough to go. The exercise and mountain air is so invigorating.
Interesting too what you said about the extra pounds. Last year I really struggled, if I fell over getting up was very difficult and my muscles hurt very quickly. Next year I plan to be in great shape!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by Jemma44
Hi everyone! Not really counting days but I am sober today I had a wonderful day. I met my snowboarding friend at our favorite mountain for a beautiful bluebird day. It's been almost two years since I have snowboarded, as I was pregnant last winter. I'm also about 20+ heavier than I was pre-baby, so I've been a little nervous about going. But it was so much fun and I wish I would have gone sooner! I've been stuck in a pity party of isolation lately. My friends drinks at the ski hill. I used to drink with her on occasion (depending if I was on or off the wagon at the time.) I wasn't too tempted today though after I played the tape through. Drinking while skiing/snowboarding is such a terrible idea anyway, but tons of people do it, there is a bar there! How stupid really, when you think about it. Even bars seem stupid to me now. Congrats to everyone, you're doing great! Take care lastchance. I know what you mean about the obsession and how it's tiring. I've become addicted to SR, but for me, that's ok right now. Hugs all!
I had a wonderful day. I met my snowboarding friend at our favorite mountain for a beautiful bluebird day. It's been almost two years since I have snowboarded, as I was pregnant last winter. I'm also about 20+ heavier than I was pre-baby, so I've been a little nervous about going. But it was so much fun and I wish I would have gone sooner! I've been stuck in a pity party of isolation lately. My friends drinks at the ski hill. I used to drink with her on occasion (depending if I was on or off the wagon at the time.) I wasn't too tempted today though after I played the tape through. Drinking while skiing/snowboarding is such a terrible idea anyway, but tons of people do it, there is a bar there! How stupid really, when you think about it. Even bars seem stupid to me now. Congrats to everyone, you're doing great! Take care lastchance. I know what you mean about the obsession and how it's tiring. I've become addicted to SR, but for me, that's ok right now. Hugs all!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by tufty13
Hi folks, I've been having huge mood swings and been doing some extreme catastrophising which, in turn is providing breakfast, lunch and dinner for my oh-too-faithful black dog, who is loving it. I know I'm repeating what's been said but I think it's worth repeating. I've been reading up a bit more on PAWS and I'm confident all my current symptoms and maladies are just part of the healing process. It apparently peaks at 3 to 6 months after achieving sobriety so on a time line, here we are guys. This is "our time" so to speak. So, I know it's been mentioned before but everyone hold tight and hang on in there. In a year's time we'll laugh about it to each other. Love and hugs to everyone.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 563
Hi Kiki! And Hello to all the other classmates!
Just took a nice long nap but had weird dreams. Can't quite remember them but felt like there was drinking involved. Oh well, just a dream.
I am grateful that my obsession to drink has been lifted (at least for now, I know that it can come back, because that has happened to me before). It is so nice to just live each day and not be obsessed with thinking about alcohol. I hope you all are well!
Just took a nice long nap but had weird dreams. Can't quite remember them but felt like there was drinking involved. Oh well, just a dream.
I am grateful that my obsession to drink has been lifted (at least for now, I know that it can come back, because that has happened to me before). It is so nice to just live each day and not be obsessed with thinking about alcohol. I hope you all are well!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Southern California
Posts: 690
Hi all! Happy Sober Sunday!
I just got home from a brunch with the girls at the Four Seasons Biltmore here in town. It was a 3 hour eat/drink fest. I passed on the mimosa's and just had pellegrino with a splash of OJ while the girls enjoyed their champagne. No pressure from them at all. I actually ate fairly healthy for such a lavish brunch..but the flourless chocolate cake was to die for! I'm pretty sure they just replaced the flour with chocolate!
It's cold and stormy out so now it's time to snuggle by the fire with the family and watch some shows!
Have a great day and give your family lots of love!
I just got home from a brunch with the girls at the Four Seasons Biltmore here in town. It was a 3 hour eat/drink fest. I passed on the mimosa's and just had pellegrino with a splash of OJ while the girls enjoyed their champagne. No pressure from them at all. I actually ate fairly healthy for such a lavish brunch..but the flourless chocolate cake was to die for! I'm pretty sure they just replaced the flour with chocolate!
It's cold and stormy out so now it's time to snuggle by the fire with the family and watch some shows!
Have a great day and give your family lots of love!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,075
Originally Posted by tufty13
Hi folks,
I've been having huge mood swings and been doing some extreme catastrophising which, in turn is providing breakfast, lunch and dinner for my oh-too-faithful black dog, who is loving it.
I know I'm repeating what's been said but I think it's worth repeating. I've been reading up a bit more on PAWS and I'm confident all my current symptoms and maladies are just part of the healing process. It apparently peaks at 3 to 6 months after achieving sobriety so on a time line, here we are guys. This is "our time" so to speak.
So, I know it's been mentioned before but everyone hold tight and hang on in there. In a year's time we'll laugh about it to each other.
Love and hugs to everyone.
I've been having huge mood swings and been doing some extreme catastrophising which, in turn is providing breakfast, lunch and dinner for my oh-too-faithful black dog, who is loving it.
I know I'm repeating what's been said but I think it's worth repeating. I've been reading up a bit more on PAWS and I'm confident all my current symptoms and maladies are just part of the healing process. It apparently peaks at 3 to 6 months after achieving sobriety so on a time line, here we are guys. This is "our time" so to speak.
So, I know it's been mentioned before but everyone hold tight and hang on in there. In a year's time we'll laugh about it to each other.
Love and hugs to everyone.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by SwimKim12
Hi Kiki! And Hello to all the other classmates! Just took a nice long nap but had weird dreams. Can't quite remember them but felt like there was drinking involved. Oh well, just a dream. I am grateful that my obsession to drink has been lifted (at least for now, I know that it can come back, because that has happened to me before). It is so nice to just live each day and not be obsessed with thinking about alcohol. I hope you all are well!
Are you still going AA? Are you working the steps with a sponsor? If so...how's it going? :-)
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by Keepnitreal
Hi all! Happy Sober Sunday! I just got home from a brunch with the girls at the Four Seasons Biltmore here in town. It was a 3 hour eat/drink fest. I passed on the mimosa's and just had pellegrino with a splash of OJ while the girls enjoyed their champagne. No pressure from them at all. I actually ate fairly healthy for such a lavish brunch..but the flourless chocolate cake was to die for! I'm pretty sure they just replaced the flour with chocolate! It's cold and stormy out so now it's time to snuggle by the fire with the family and watch some shows! Have a great day and give your family lots of love!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by patricia68
Thank you tufty. I really needed this today. Sometimes I forget that we are still healing. I forget that it takes time. I forget to be gentle with myself. Thank you for the reminder!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by patricia68
Hi Kiki. I am sober. Exhausted from fighting so much anxiety all day long, every day...not really having a good day. But I'm sober.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 734
Checking in for another week.
Well the weekend definitely got better after the way I had been feeling Thursday / Friday - I typed out a long post on Saturday morning and just before I went to press submit my phone died - one of those moments where I'd put quite a lot down and then just lost the will to re think on it and do it again.
Part of it was relating to the missing out that had been discussed the previous day or two, as I mentioned I'd ducked out of a birthday celebration of one of our friends but the wife had gone along, I'd offered to drop her off and pick her up.
Finally realised just what little I was missing when I got to where she was at the end of the evening, I sat outside the place on the road in my car and it was booming to the point I could feel the car vibrating - that kind of place has never really been the wife's cup of tea but it certainly "was" mine, "was" being the operative word !! there was no sense of missing out at all, in fact I sat there thinking no thank you I can't even hear myself think out here - never thought I'd ever hear myself say that, I've spent the best part of 30 years bouncing round such places off my head on one thing or another but just realised it really is over and I've actually grown up :-)
When the wife came out she looked a little fed up to be honest, quite a few of the group would have been on coke / ecstasy etc and that's a scene she's never been into at all, partly why we've led a lot of our married life with me doing my own thing - so many of the arguments down the years due to my drug use, no doubt I would have been sneaking off thro the night and seen nothing of her at all - more concerned about enjoying myself and getting drugged up than ever taking care of her and looking out for her, she always used to say it was like going out on her own whenever we were out, it really was all about me, me, me and how hammered I could get from moment one as far as I was concerned.
Finally realised just how lucky I am to have such a caring and loving wife by my side - I've done everything possible to try and push her away in my quest to keep the party going but she's stood by me through it all and when I truly was at my lowest point was still there for me and didn't kick me whilst down.
For so long the drink and drugs have masked the true me and I turned in to someone I really didn't like at all - the lies and deceit was never ending, I got lost in it all and became someone I really didn't know or in the end like but I just couldn't stop and didn't want to - so glad the point came after the last binge in November and worried for my own sanity that I truly came to my senses and realised what a mess it had all become through my reluctance to face upto the problems with drink and drugs.
One of our friends asked has he turned boring then, something that had been joked about in the past regarding a previous stint of abstinence (fitness), my wife said she turned and just said no, I feel like I've got back the person I first met.
I really do believe that she has saved me from myself and where I was going, into a deep dark hole, something I'll never forget and intend to make it up to her with the future she deserves.
The big time charlie attitude has gone, I had this crazy sense that I really was somebody important, as my counsellor pointed out when I first reached out for help that I was a legend in my own mind - deluded of course, plenty of friends telling me I was a legend always getting the party started and because I was so far gone half the time but yet still able to function and carry on with a reasonable amount of success I guess I actually began to believe it - laughable now to think of it !!! Funnily enough the only person who never told me anything of the sort was my wife - she was the one who put up with all the crap from me !!
I truly don't want to be that person anymore I'm really not interested in trying to impress friends or more so complete strangers - the only 2 people that truly matter are my wife and daughter and as long as I am making them happy then that's where my future happiness lies too.
Without sobriety I will never be the real me and that truly would be missing out !!
Well the weekend definitely got better after the way I had been feeling Thursday / Friday - I typed out a long post on Saturday morning and just before I went to press submit my phone died - one of those moments where I'd put quite a lot down and then just lost the will to re think on it and do it again.
Part of it was relating to the missing out that had been discussed the previous day or two, as I mentioned I'd ducked out of a birthday celebration of one of our friends but the wife had gone along, I'd offered to drop her off and pick her up.
Finally realised just what little I was missing when I got to where she was at the end of the evening, I sat outside the place on the road in my car and it was booming to the point I could feel the car vibrating - that kind of place has never really been the wife's cup of tea but it certainly "was" mine, "was" being the operative word !! there was no sense of missing out at all, in fact I sat there thinking no thank you I can't even hear myself think out here - never thought I'd ever hear myself say that, I've spent the best part of 30 years bouncing round such places off my head on one thing or another but just realised it really is over and I've actually grown up :-)
When the wife came out she looked a little fed up to be honest, quite a few of the group would have been on coke / ecstasy etc and that's a scene she's never been into at all, partly why we've led a lot of our married life with me doing my own thing - so many of the arguments down the years due to my drug use, no doubt I would have been sneaking off thro the night and seen nothing of her at all - more concerned about enjoying myself and getting drugged up than ever taking care of her and looking out for her, she always used to say it was like going out on her own whenever we were out, it really was all about me, me, me and how hammered I could get from moment one as far as I was concerned.
Finally realised just how lucky I am to have such a caring and loving wife by my side - I've done everything possible to try and push her away in my quest to keep the party going but she's stood by me through it all and when I truly was at my lowest point was still there for me and didn't kick me whilst down.
For so long the drink and drugs have masked the true me and I turned in to someone I really didn't like at all - the lies and deceit was never ending, I got lost in it all and became someone I really didn't know or in the end like but I just couldn't stop and didn't want to - so glad the point came after the last binge in November and worried for my own sanity that I truly came to my senses and realised what a mess it had all become through my reluctance to face upto the problems with drink and drugs.
One of our friends asked has he turned boring then, something that had been joked about in the past regarding a previous stint of abstinence (fitness), my wife said she turned and just said no, I feel like I've got back the person I first met.
I really do believe that she has saved me from myself and where I was going, into a deep dark hole, something I'll never forget and intend to make it up to her with the future she deserves.
The big time charlie attitude has gone, I had this crazy sense that I really was somebody important, as my counsellor pointed out when I first reached out for help that I was a legend in my own mind - deluded of course, plenty of friends telling me I was a legend always getting the party started and because I was so far gone half the time but yet still able to function and carry on with a reasonable amount of success I guess I actually began to believe it - laughable now to think of it !!! Funnily enough the only person who never told me anything of the sort was my wife - she was the one who put up with all the crap from me !!
I truly don't want to be that person anymore I'm really not interested in trying to impress friends or more so complete strangers - the only 2 people that truly matter are my wife and daughter and as long as I am making them happy then that's where my future happiness lies too.
Without sobriety I will never be the real me and that truly would be missing out !!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Augusta, GA
Posts: 888
Originally Posted by tufty13
Hi folks,
I've been having huge mood swings and been doing some extreme catastrophising which, in turn is providing breakfast, lunch and dinner for my oh-too-faithful black dog, who is loving it.
I know I'm repeating what's been said but I think it's worth repeating. I've been reading up a bit more on PAWS and I'm confident all my current symptoms and maladies are just part of the healing process. It apparently peaks at 3 to 6 months after achieving sobriety so on a time line, here we are guys. This is "our time" so to speak.
So, I know it's been mentioned before but everyone hold tight and hang on in there. In a year's time we'll laugh about it to each other.
Love and hugs to everyone.
I've been having huge mood swings and been doing some extreme catastrophising which, in turn is providing breakfast, lunch and dinner for my oh-too-faithful black dog, who is loving it.
I know I'm repeating what's been said but I think it's worth repeating. I've been reading up a bit more on PAWS and I'm confident all my current symptoms and maladies are just part of the healing process. It apparently peaks at 3 to 6 months after achieving sobriety so on a time line, here we are guys. This is "our time" so to speak.
So, I know it's been mentioned before but everyone hold tight and hang on in there. In a year's time we'll laugh about it to each other.
Love and hugs to everyone.
Hang on brother, its not any better on this side!
Love and hugs to you all!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Somerset
Posts: 933
Ultra, I'm sorry to hear about that. I guess you've just got to keep picking yourself up and trying again. 18 beers is going to do you serious harm mate. Not that you need me to tell you.
I'm still in the gutter. Can't even get out of bed. Completely and utterly depressed.
All my usual stuff, letting things get completely on top of me and then spiralling into a mess of stress and anxiety.
I've got the perfect storm brewing, I'm off to Ireland on Friday for a boys walking weekend.
The Guinness will be flowing and there will be grass and cigarettes galore but these are friends who I drink with rather than drinking friends and I'm comfortable with my decision to go. They all know of my situation, I've been very explicit. If they don't respect my circumstances I will happily curtail my envolvement.
Love and best wishes to you all, I'm sending everyone sober wishes.
I'm still in the gutter. Can't even get out of bed. Completely and utterly depressed.
All my usual stuff, letting things get completely on top of me and then spiralling into a mess of stress and anxiety.
I've got the perfect storm brewing, I'm off to Ireland on Friday for a boys walking weekend.
The Guinness will be flowing and there will be grass and cigarettes galore but these are friends who I drink with rather than drinking friends and I'm comfortable with my decision to go. They all know of my situation, I've been very explicit. If they don't respect my circumstances I will happily curtail my envolvement.
Love and best wishes to you all, I'm sending everyone sober wishes.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Southern California
Posts: 690
Andy-
Great post! Thank you for sharing how you feel and how important your sobriety is. The ups and downs are tough, but as you can see in the One year and under thread, it really can be done and seems to get easier after the first 6 months or so. You are lucky your wife has been there for you!
Ultra-I'm sorry dude! I think you better then anybody knows what happens if you have 1 beer, right? You just can't pick up no matter what thoughts and feelings you are having. PAWS is real! It's crap and can take you by surprise. It's almost like every 30 days for the first 6 months you have to battle the devil for your life. I know you guys are moving or planning on some changes. Have you considered inpatient help to really get you going again? I think you were sober over a year once, correct? How did that come about? Can you use that to help you obtain complete sobriety? You're in my prayers!
Great post! Thank you for sharing how you feel and how important your sobriety is. The ups and downs are tough, but as you can see in the One year and under thread, it really can be done and seems to get easier after the first 6 months or so. You are lucky your wife has been there for you!
Ultra-I'm sorry dude! I think you better then anybody knows what happens if you have 1 beer, right? You just can't pick up no matter what thoughts and feelings you are having. PAWS is real! It's crap and can take you by surprise. It's almost like every 30 days for the first 6 months you have to battle the devil for your life. I know you guys are moving or planning on some changes. Have you considered inpatient help to really get you going again? I think you were sober over a year once, correct? How did that come about? Can you use that to help you obtain complete sobriety? You're in my prayers!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Southern California
Posts: 690
Tufty-
How long have you been going through this test? I think I suffered for almost 2 weeks before I found any relief. It's nice when ya get a break. I'm so afraid of the next Paws episode. It's scary to know it can happen anytime. I feel a little anxiety just thinking about it, but I will put that away because today is a good day!
Hang in there because you've got this!!!!
How long have you been going through this test? I think I suffered for almost 2 weeks before I found any relief. It's nice when ya get a break. I'm so afraid of the next Paws episode. It's scary to know it can happen anytime. I feel a little anxiety just thinking about it, but I will put that away because today is a good day!
Hang in there because you've got this!!!!
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