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Soberpotamus's Oral Surgery Recovery Support & Journal Part 3

Old 01-27-2016, 10:35 PM
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Thanks, V. I mostly do too.

I just have to write this heavy stuff out sometimes. To maybe get it 'out there' and out of my head.

To tell the world what it feels like. So that I don't feel locked inside my own mind, tormenting myself with these thoughts.

Your support has been invaluable.
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Old 01-27-2016, 10:44 PM
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V, I watched a movie tonight. It's been so long since I relaxed and watched an actual movie. I don't know why that is. I should've been doing this all along. I finally got tired of Mr. Rogers, lol, and watched a movie called Digging to China. Evan Rachel Wood, Kevin Bacon, and Marty Stuart Masterson (I love her!!). Pretty good movie.
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Old 01-27-2016, 11:01 PM
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Ooooo, nice cast. I love all 3 of them. And I haven't heard of that movie....

Don't watch the Ashley Judd one I mentioned though; the end was ridiculous.
I literally stared at the screen, complete incredulous.

Really glad you relaxed and watched a movie.
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Old 01-28-2016, 07:07 AM
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Jennie, you are not a looney. You've been through major surgery. And, I get what you mean. This is something you considered and thought about for years and now it's finally done and it's an emotional time. I'm really sorry that Brian is letting you down again and again. But, as Leigh said, you need to feel safe and secure in your own home. I am so frustrated for you, that you feel unsafe. That's a horrible situation to be in.
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Old 01-28-2016, 08:56 AM
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Thanks, Anna. I am not a looney. Maybe it was the years of invalidation that causes me to 'qualify' by prefacing with humor that's not really humor, not accurate, and is demeaning to myself.

Validation seems so hard to come by. Even people who mean well downplay in order to feel better or more comfortable with what others go through.

Thanks for being someone who doesn't invalidate others' feelings.

I believe that's the best kind of friend.

I will get through this. Brian isn't totally out of control. He sometimes does the right thing. I can do more things for myself now, if I take it slowly and have patience. I just can't move around as quickly as I used to. And Tom is available once or twice per week to help with whatever Brian won't do.
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Old 01-28-2016, 11:13 AM
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The self-empowerment and the self-awareness I gained through this ordeal has been the thing that's stunned me. I never counted on this happening. The largest chunk of the shift in perspective has been internal. This is a lifelong goal and accomplishment that I will reflect back on as a defining moment.

I LOVE this!
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Old 01-28-2016, 11:15 AM
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Well done, Potamus.
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Old 01-28-2016, 04:45 PM
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Sneezed for the first time today. It wasn't painful.
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Old 01-28-2016, 04:47 PM
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Tom came over and brought me homemade soup. He blended it for me. I had two servings. There's more left for tomorrow in the fridge.

He brought me yogurt, ice-cream, more avocados, and vanilla Ensure.

He noticed the bed linens and asked me if Brian did it. I told him I did it. He said it was a shame. He said I shouldn't be doing any laundry or changing out bed linens yet. He thinks I'd heal faster if I didn't strain myself. I asked him if I'm hurting myself, and he just doesn't know. But I seem to be ok. I hope I'm ok.

I had to change out the bed linens and Brian won't do it.
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Old 01-28-2016, 04:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Soberpotamus View Post
Sneezed for the first time today. It wasn't painful.
Sounds like a good sign to me, Potamus.
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Old 01-28-2016, 04:53 PM
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Originally Posted by Soberpotamus View Post
Tom came over and brought me homemade soup. He blended it for me. I had two servings. There's more left for tomorrow in the fridge.

He brought me yogurt, ice-cream, more avocados, and vanilla Ensure.

He noticed the bed linens and asked me if Brian did it. I told him I did it. He said it was a shame. He said I shouldn't be doing any laundry or changing out bed linens yet. He thinks I'd heal faster if I didn't strain myself. I asked him if I'm hurting myself, and he just doesn't know. But I seem to be ok. I hope I'm ok.

I had to change out the bed linens and Brian won't do it.
I am glad that you have Tom to show you some TLC, Potamus.
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Old 01-28-2016, 05:25 PM
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SP,

SR is certainly a great forum for venting your anger and frustration.

As far as sheets go, I find LLBean sheets are generously cut for deep mattresses and are easy to put on.
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Old 01-28-2016, 06:58 PM
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Thanks, GroundhogDay. I'll keep it in mind next time I shop for sheets. I've always loved LL Bean. I like the French sailor shirts, and the Scotch plaid flannel shirts.

I'm having a smoothie made with mixed frozen fruits, whole foods based protein powder, peach yogurt, and half & half. Delicious.
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Old 01-28-2016, 07:17 PM
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Hello, SP. I've not been on much over the last few days so am rather behind in your post-surgical journey.

Please know you're in my thoughts. This is a tough path for you, but I have complete faith in your abilities. You are a woman of substance, my friend.
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Old 01-28-2016, 07:19 PM
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I had a movie recommendation, but it felt trivial after V's beautiful post...
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Old 01-28-2016, 07:40 PM
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Venecia, thank you.

I needed to hear that tonight. I'm highly emotional the past few days. This has been tough, and now PMS is descending on me. Things should get interesting now.

V, well tell me later if you remember.

I sneezed a second time tonight. It was scary, but no pain. So I'm going to believe I'm ok. When you sneeze, the teeth tend to clamp down together, so... Kind of scary for me right now.

Tom saw that my pain medicine bottle was nearly empty and flipped out on me tonight. He is concerned because it's a narcotic. I told him not to worry -- I have no desire to overmedicate, and I do not look forward to my pain meds every day. In fact, I don't even think about it at all unless I'm in pain. Opiates have never had that effect on me. I'm not worried about it at all.

I am so not looking forward to PMS right now. I mean, who ever is? But you know what I mean. It can't be a great mix with my state of mind at the moment.
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Old 01-28-2016, 07:49 PM
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V, these are the movies on my Amazon Prime watchlist: Frida, Labor Day (with Kate Winslet), and Doubt (Meryl Streep).

I watched the documentary Finding Vivian Maier -- fascinating!!! And I absolutely love her photography. Do you know who I'm talking about? She was an amazing photographer who almost went undiscovered.

Anyway, it's hard to pick the one I'm going to watch first. I'm a Frida Kahlo fan and yet I've never watched the movie starring Salma Hayek. Should be great, I think it won awards. Kate Winslet -- I love anything she's ever done, lol. Such a great actor. And can't believe I've never seen Doubt. I think I'll watch it first.
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Old 01-28-2016, 07:56 PM
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J, it's nice to see you taking on more & more each day, and showing an interest in the world. Have you been outside at all since the surgery, other than to the drs?

Speaking of which, when's your next appt w/the dr?
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Old 01-28-2016, 08:06 PM
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Hi Courage

I've been outside once to take out the trash, and once to go have coffee with Tom at the local coffee shop. We sat outside to get some fresh air. Loud music was blaring and car noise and pollution filled the air, lol. I enjoyed it though. I want to go for coffee again this weekend. I hope they won't put receipt paper in my macchiato this time. Yucky accident that happened last time.

Next doc appointments is Tuesday.
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Old 01-28-2016, 10:17 PM
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I'm in pain. It's a 4 or 5 out of 10. The ibuprofen must not be helping much.

One thing bothering me is that if Brian knows I'm in pain he uses that moment to tell me the surgery was a mistake, that it's not worth it.

I can't believe he really feels this way. It completely disgusts me that I married such a loser.

He should be trying to ease my pain by cheering me on.

This is one of the hardest things I've ever been through -- realizing in the midst of this hell that I married a complete loser.
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