Originally Posted by Dee74

Things more emotionally constant for me after 3 months too.

whenever someone or something upset me in those initial days I tried to use the time out rule - I'd get up, write a post and then walk away - when I came back later if I still felt the same way, then I'd post. It was pretty rare for me to send my first draft

I also tried to use the principle of Occams Razor which is basically that the simplest explanation is the best.

I went off half-cocked several times over things or people before I internalised those principles.

D

Originally Posted by Keepnitreal

Hi-
This is my first attempt at sobriety and it's scary. My emotions have been all over the place. (This week I've been a bit down because of child issues) Some days are super easy and others are damn hard. The stretch of several hard days (I believe PAWS) have almost been my undoing. The thought of never still almost knocks me over.
Dee and all of the special members of this group have helped me stay grounded, but it's still a daily struggle. Sometimes, more often of late, it's just a slight memory and not a real craving, so that's easy to put away.
But I also know I've been subconsciously planning a binge if/when my hubby and child are away on a trip. I'm trying to get my plan in place so I don't stumble and fall when that time comes. I'm not sure why I want to test myself like this. Part of me wants to have a fun weekend and then not drink again for many months. I just need to figure it out and put it away before the opportunity presents itself.

Originally Posted by Saskia

KIR, good that you are focusing on what's happening (another benefit of regular, open and honest posting here). I think that there's a good deal of habit involved and that takes time to separate. For example, when I was angry, I would have a drink to cool me down, when I was sad ... Etc. it got to the point where any emotion became an excuse to drink. For me, dealing with my addiction meant breaking the associations between each feeling and drinking. It didn't seem to work en masse! . Now that I seem to have managed all those break ups, life is simply calmer and steadier - and mostly happier.

Knb, a real "life changing trigger" is a situation that can happen to any of us. I've been working on my thinking in reaction to things that happen and effectively training myself not to automatically think of alcohol or anything else mood-altering. Other images can help to displace alcohol with something non-toxic like: meditation, yoga, a workout, going for a run, going shopping with a sober friend, planning a vacation. These things may not be a 100% substitute for alcohol, but they can reduce the intensity so we can manage more easily. Just my opinion!

Originally Posted by waywardson8260

I have had many similar thoughts in the pasts and last year I did act on it once where I did get just one little bottle of wine and it led to about a 3 month relapse. With 119 days under your belt that AV is still there for sure but will subside if you stay the course. You have come so far now! One day at a time!

knb- In my last sobriety effort I believe I did a lot of overthinking myself. I'm taking a more relaxed one day at a time approach this time and it seems to be working so far. Life changing events do happen to everyone and for me I'll just have to deal with it when it comes.

Originally Posted by Saskia

When I quit a 3-pack-a-day cigarette habit more than 30 years ago, when I thought of the long-term without cigarettes, I would freak out. So I made an agreement with myself that if I were terminally ill with only a little time left, I would allow myself to smoke. After about a year or two it dawned on me that I had no interest in going back to smoking under any circumstances. Drinking, for me, seems now to be following a similar pattern :-). I don't do well white-knuckling so I find it helps to be a bit creative.

Originally Posted by Thumpalumpacus

I'm finding my emotions are more settled now with some sobriety under my belt. Things that would have freaked me out six months ago, I've learnt to take them better -- with aplomb.

It's not a perfect process, obviously, but practicing the Serenity Prayer has really helped me.

Originally Posted by knb02

Thanks for the links bluefairy. I got a sponsor three days ago but she is very quiet?? Am I suppose to be texting her? Not sure how it all works. She told me to look online for step work but I havnt heard off her since. She did say she travels a lot and she was off to London but I was hoping she may have texted me to ask how I was doing...
I don't know. I think I need more interaction. But then again I don't know if it should be me making the effort.

Jeez. I sound like I am dating??!

Originally Posted by tootsl1

Haha Bandi, the Limerick thread was almost a riot! The few poor guys who ventured aboard ( Carlos ((( ))) ) didn't know what hit them! I personally found that tapping into my creativity really helped me to express my feelings about stopping drinking.

KIR I had very similar feelings, I actually went through a period of grieving for the end of the 'relationship' the longest one I have had by far. As you say, it didn't matter the negative, abusive, poisonous nature of the relationship the constancy was something I really missed, having that one constant to turn to in every occasion, happy, sad, shy, awkward, lonely, angry, whatever occasion, whatever mood, whether everyone else was there to share with me or no one else seemed to understand, my BFF the bottle was always there.

It makes sense we miss that relationship in an ineffable way, but in time, and by making the effort to fill that space, we meet new friends, enjoy new experiences and realise that, although occasionally we still wished we could share them with bottle, we know we are better of without.

Glee my friend, I am so proud to have been along side you here in your recovery, you have worked so hard and with such determination to turn your life around, it would be easy to forgive if you drifted away because you were so busy, but instead, you make time to come here and share, encourage and support others, lending your experience and offering a helping hand. Your time here, the effort you make is I know, greatly appreciated by everyone you touch.

Official greetings Bandi and Bunny, quite the menagerie we have going here!!!

Congratulations on missing your milestone Amp!! I remember the first one that passed me by, I really felt like, 'hey, it's becoming a way of life now!'

Key, how are you doing now?

BeFree, I hope you are doing okay, I know the pressure you are under right now.

Keep On Keeping On Undies

Originally Posted by gleefan

Thumpa - Cool song. Thanks for sharing that and your gratitude list. I find that being in the practice of writing what I'm grateful for every day keeps me focused on the positive when life gets topsy turvy.

Babs - It's great to see you going strong and taking many different measures to secure your sobriety.

Key - How are you doing? I hope you were able to find a way to put your best foot forward and just do what you need to do.

((((Toots)))) - Your support and friendship means so much to me!

Truly, everyone, thank you. These last few weeks that I've been rounding the corner of two years sober have presented one stressor after the other!! Two years ago all I could do was stomp my feet. A program of daily recovery has given me the tools to face them head on, do what's right, seek support where needed, and still provide support for others.

Sending love to all today!!

Originally Posted by BlueFairy

Lol. Sounds like you need someone more hands on. Until you find someone else just work on the first step and yes text her if you have any trouble and see how that goes.

Originally Posted by KeyofC

You know, I am doing good. The questions I ask I think are normal, the feelings I am feeling, I know are normal as well. It's all a learning experience. It all feels so foreign to me. Some days I struggle hard with my emotions, other days I am comfortable with my emotions. It's all so new and different form what I am used to that it's just weird. Like a human being does, some days I guess I fight the change and want to revert back to the old comfortable ways of behavior. I don't, but it of course is tempting to just let it all slide. In the long run I know it wouldn't be worth it. I am on the road to recovery. I am recognizing a lot of things that need to be changed...hey! That's a good thing that I recognize things so I am happy for that small step. I am learning to admit when I am wrong. I am apologizing when I need to. I am taking ownership when I should. Huge steps for me that have taken time. So The biggest hurdle is telling myself that everything takes time and time I cannot control. I have to make myself slow the heck down and be patient. Live life...live it. Thank you for asking. I am so grateful for SR and all of you guys. I am so grateful that no one told me that there was a certain road to recovery and just let me find my own way. I am so grateful people were not mean to me here or judgmental or harsh and accepted me for who I am. There is not right or wrong way to recovery. You have to be accepting of what you're facing, what you need to do to get there, where you came from, and where you want to go. ((Hug))
Ya'll are awesome!

Originally Posted by Fradley

Hello,

Sugar, KNB? I say 'fill yer boots'.

Fellow travellers, I feel I should apologise for disappearing for three months (apart from a brief grumpy appearance a few weeks ago). Any ounce of spare energy I had seemed to taken up by something else other than reading and posting on SR.

It has been weird - I have felt very secure in my sobriety - but just overwhelmed and exhausted by everything else in life.

On reflection, I suppose this may be because I have been actually *facing up to and dealing with* situations - rather than my old habit of avoiding them or mixing them in with other issues just to increase the chaos.

Whatever. Ultimately I'm still in the game - fixing things up incrementally and unevenly, but with a sense of direction.

And this weariness will pass, as does everything else.

Welcome to newer (to me) Undies - this is a wonderful
part of the internet.

And big love to everyone else. I'm bursting with gratitude (although, being English, this manifests itself as a brief wry smile).

Go well

Fradley

Originally Posted by knb02

Ha I know how you feel KIR! I have a skiing holiday planned in Dec and I am already nervous about whether I am going to drink. I suffer from panic attacks and they are triggered by claustrophobia and agoraphobia . I have a fear of flying. Had being a passenger in someone's car. Ugh the list goes on. Lol. I sound like a right fruitcake.
The way I combatted any attacks was by drinking on it so I am already thinking / planning to drink in Dec...it's madness.

How long are you sober and what is paws?

Originally Posted by Keepnitreal

KNB- I have 117 days. I thought it was 119 yesterday, but I jumped the gun! Haha. 3 days and it will be 4 solid months. I'm pretty sure that's the longest I've been without a drink since I was in my late 20's (except when pregnant). It's amazing how we can quit for that, but I guess we don't have to explain that sobriety to others. (Maybe I will tell people I might be pregnant! Haha).
Anyway PAWS is Post Acute Withdrawl Syndrome or symptoms? You should look it up and read about it. It hits me every month or so, but now I know to look for it. I had a few tough days this week where I could barely function I was so utterly depressed and anxiety ridden.
The first time I had intense cravings for 3-4 days. That one almost broke me, but everybody on SR explained it to me and I was able to pull through.

I'm sure by next December you'll have plenty of sober time and it won't be as tough as you think it will be. Your sobriety comes first so you can always cancel your ski trip if you need to, but each day we get a little stronger.

I think a lot of people crave sugar when they quit drinking. I've tried to continue with healthy habits so I exercise several times a week and try to eat better. I figure since I'm giving my liver some much needed relief I may as well let the rest of my body take a walk on the healthy side. (This week was a bust though!)
If your sponsor is not giving you what you need then look for a new one!