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One Year and Under Club Part 51

Old 03-03-2016, 05:54 AM
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Morning everyone. Just reading some posts. Day 33 for me. Moving forward one day at a time.
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Old 03-03-2016, 06:40 AM
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Hey--ended up watching a few shows I'd missed on on demand and just went to yoga--no working out before--(I'll so that sometimes because it's at the same place) and read some of
the first story in the big book before our shows came on at 8. Fell asleep earlier a few times catching up on shows--guess I was more tired than I thought...
Originally Posted by knb02 View Post
Wow Bluefairy. Ten months. What an achievement. This is what I love about this thread. You guys are showing me that there is a life without drinking.
I also need to do step work but can't find any worksheets on the Internet
The reason why I finally got a sponsor was because of step 4--I just wasn't getting it. It is hard to find help with the steps online and when you do it seems it's all different. Here's a few I thought to bookmark that helped me. Having a sponsor is gold though.
STEP ONE - BRIEF OUTLINE

STEP 1 - Questions to ask yourself - Recovery REALM Online AA Meetings and Social Networking - Recovery REALM Message Forums Recovery Chat Rooms - Recovery - A STEP Discussion
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Old 03-03-2016, 07:42 AM
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Originally Posted by waywardson8260 View Post
I feel exactly the same way about everybody on this thread. It is awesome! This has become my go to place to keep me focused on staying sober and reading different perspectives and encouragement has helped me a lot. It sounds like you do have a good plan in place and we are all here for you when you need it.

Congratulations on 10 months Bluefairy!
Wow you seem like you have had a good dose of sobriety too. I am gonna be like you guys one day
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Old 03-03-2016, 07:44 AM
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Originally Posted by Saskia View Post
Another great, sober morning :-)

Toots, my dear friend, super post!

Congratulations to all of us on another sober day. My life is so incredibly much better.

For all of you who haven't known me that long, I'd like to add a bit of a footnote. We all have so many similarities yet also many differences. It took me over 2 years after joining SR to stop having regular relapses. After I had been sober for about 8 or 9 months, my PTSD got triggered and I had a very brief (about 2 days) relapse. I was very disappointed. But, I went immediately to my pdoc and got some extra help with short-term meds and that very brief relapse didn't continue.

I'm not in any way trying to discourage anyone and most definitely don't advocate anyone following that part of my path! Since then, I am very aware of just how thin the line can be between sober and not. Most of the time I'm finding it easy but I have a much stronger respect now for just how sneaky the AV is. I have made it a priority to check in to SR every day and read and post on 4 different threads. I also read the newcomer's posts which can be emotionally difficult at times. It does remind me why I never want to go back there.

I am grateful every day for my sobriety and you all play a big part in that. Being part of your developing sobriety strengthens my own.
Nice post Saskia. I have been told that the AV quietens but it never leaves you. One has to always be mindful of it. My sponsor is 35 years sober and she still goes to meetings. I asked her why she still needs to go to AA.." To stop me from drinking" she replied. Makes sense
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Old 03-03-2016, 07:49 AM
  # 425 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by BlueFairy View Post
Hey--ended up watching a few shows I'd missed on on demand and just went to yoga--no working out before--(I'll so that sometimes because it's at the same place) and read some of
the first story in the big book before our shows came on at 8. Fell asleep earlier a few times catching up on shows--guess I was more tired than I thought...


The reason why I finally got a sponsor was because of step 4--I just wasn't getting it. It is hard to find help with the steps online and when you do it seems it's all different. Here's a few I thought to bookmark that helped me. Having a sponsor is gold though.
STEP ONE - BRIEF OUTLINE

STEP 1 - Questions to ask yourself - Recovery REALM Online AA Meetings and Social Networking - Recovery REALM Message Forums Recovery Chat Rooms - Recovery - A STEP Discussion
Thanks for the links bluefairy. I got a sponsor three days ago but she is very quiet?? Am I suppose to be texting her? Not sure how it all works. She told me to look online for step work but I havnt heard off her since. She did say she travels a lot and she was off to London but I was hoping she may have texted me to ask how I was doing...
I don't know. I think I need more interaction. But then again I don't know if it should be me making the effort.

Jeez. I sound like I am dating??!
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Old 03-03-2016, 09:39 AM
  # 426 (permalink)  
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One week completely today. Last Wednesday was the last time I smoked, Valentine's Day was the last time I drank. Grateful to have time ahead in my life to make improvements.
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Old 03-03-2016, 10:51 AM
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Hi undies.
Trying to get back in the habit of daily posting. Just checking in. I'll catch up on posts hopefully this evening
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Old 03-03-2016, 01:57 PM
  # 428 (permalink)  
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Hello everyone---I'm just getting on too post as my internet was down --I will read and get caught up.
later
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Old 03-03-2016, 02:00 PM
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Welcome, CharlesG!

BFree, good to hear you will be here more :-)
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Old 03-03-2016, 04:35 PM
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Hi Undies!
Welcome to our new members and hello to everybody!
I finished my CASA classes and will be getting sworn in by the court next Wednesday! Once that is done I can start reading cases and pick my child to advocate for. I'm excited and scared all at once!
Anyway, 119 days sober today. I'm still having ups and downs, but I'm starting to see a change in the habitual thinking. I can't wait until that ends!
Have a great day everybody!!!!
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Old 03-03-2016, 04:48 PM
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That's really great KIR - congratulations

D
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Old 03-03-2016, 04:51 PM
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Good going, KIR :-). Life always has ups and downs but the downs are so much better sober.
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Old 03-03-2016, 11:38 PM
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Originally Posted by Keepnitreal View Post
Hi Undies!
Welcome to our new members and hello to everybody!
I finished my CASA classes and will be getting sworn in by the court next Wednesday! Once that is done I can start reading cases and pick my child to advocate for. I'm excited and scared all at once!
Anyway, 119 days sober today. I'm still having ups and downs, but I'm starting to see a change in the habitual thinking. I can't wait until that ends!
Have a great day everybody!!!!
Hi KIR. Been thinking about my ups and downs and wondering when they start to level out. So by your post I am guessing I need about three months minimum to start chilling out? I think another poster mentioned three months as well. Can't remember who it was.

It's really weird being sober all the time. I knew I was sensitive but was I always this sensitive?? I feel like I am reborn and on the road to self discovery. It does make me think and do it's odd things. Mostly good but sometimes odd. Even I can't explain my behaviour at times. But I got to do what I got to do to get to where I have to go..and that is a life far removed from my addiction

Day 39.
Last year I lasted 43 days in class aug 2014(amazing group) and then relapsed for 14 months. I hit the bottle hard. I can't go back there.

But I am finding it difficult at the moment. I won't drink on it though ..unless I get a life changing trigger. I wouldn't know how to handle that kind of trigger. Anyway I will shut up cause I am overthinking?!!
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Old 03-03-2016, 11:46 PM
  # 434 (permalink)  
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Things more emotionally constant for me after 3 months too.

whenever someone or something upset me in those initial days I tried to use the time out rule - I'd get up, write a post and then walk away - when I came back later if I still felt the same way, then I'd post. It was pretty rare for me to send my first draft

I also tried to use the principle of Occams Razor which is basically that the simplest explanation is the best.

I went off half-cocked several times over things or people before I internalised those principles.

D
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Old 03-04-2016, 02:39 AM
  # 435 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by knb02 View Post
Hi KIR. Been thinking about my ups and downs and wondering when they start to level out. So by your post I am guessing I need about three months minimum to start chilling out? I think another poster mentioned three months as well. Can't remember who it was.

It's really weird being sober all the time. I knew I was sensitive but was I always this sensitive?? I feel like I am reborn and on the road to self discovery. It does make me think and do it's odd things. Mostly good but sometimes odd. Even I can't explain my behaviour at times. But I got to do what I got to do to get to where I have to go..and that is a life far removed from my addiction

Day 39.
Last year I lasted 43 days in class aug 2014(amazing group) and then relapsed for 14 months. I hit the bottle hard. I can't go back there.

But I am finding it difficult at the moment. I won't drink on it though ..unless I get a life changing trigger. I wouldn't know how to handle that kind of trigger. Anyway I will shut up cause I am overthinking?!!
Hi-
This is my first attempt at sobriety and it's scary. My emotions have been all over the place. (This week I've been a bit down because of child issues) Some days are super easy and others are damn hard. The stretch of several hard days (I believe PAWS) have almost been my undoing. The thought of never still almost knocks me over.
Dee and all of the special members of this group have helped me stay grounded, but it's still a daily struggle. Sometimes, more often of late, it's just a slight memory and not a real craving, so that's easy to put away.
But I also know I've been subconsciously planning a binge if/when my hubby and child are away on a trip. I'm trying to get my plan in place so I don't stumble and fall when that time comes. I'm not sure why I want to test myself like this. Part of me wants to have a fun weekend and then not drink again for many months. I just need to figure it out and put it away before the opportunity presents itself.
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Old 03-04-2016, 02:55 AM
  # 436 (permalink)  
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Its the two wolves thing KIR...there's the good wolf - your higher brain... and the bad wolf your addiction, that visceral part of you that just wants its fix.

It doesn't care about consequences.

Just because you've drank when you could 'get away with it' before is not a good reason to do it again.

feed the good wolf

D
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Old 03-04-2016, 04:54 AM
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KIR, good that you are focusing on what's happening (another benefit of regular, open and honest posting here). I think that there's a good deal of habit involved and that takes time to separate. For example, when I was angry, I would have a drink to cool me down, when I was sad ... Etc. it got to the point where any emotion became an excuse to drink. For me, dealing with my addiction meant breaking the associations between each feeling and drinking. It didn't seem to work en masse! . Now that I seem to have managed all those break ups, life is simply calmer and steadier - and mostly happier.

Knb, a real "life changing trigger" is a situation that can happen to any of us. I've been working on my thinking in reaction to things that happen and effectively training myself not to automatically think of alcohol or anything else mood-altering. Other images can help to displace alcohol with something non-toxic like: meditation, yoga, a workout, going for a run, going shopping with a sober friend, planning a vacation. These things may not be a 100% substitute for alcohol, but they can reduce the intensity so we can manage more easily. Just my opinion!
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Old 03-04-2016, 04:58 AM
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Originally Posted by Keepnitreal View Post
Hi-
This is my first attempt at sobriety and it's scary. My emotions have been all over the place. (This week I've been a bit down because of child issues) Some days are super easy and others are damn hard. The stretch of several hard days (I believe PAWS) have almost been my undoing. The thought of never still almost knocks me over.
Dee and all of the special members of this group have helped me stay grounded, but it's still a daily struggle. Sometimes, more often of late, it's just a slight memory and not a real craving, so that's easy to put away.
But I also know I've been subconsciously planning a binge if/when my hubby and child are away on a trip. I'm trying to get my plan in place so I don't stumble and fall when that time comes. I'm not sure why I want to test myself like this. Part of me wants to have a fun weekend and then not drink again for many months. I just need to figure it out and put it away before the opportunity presents itself.
I have had many similar thoughts in the pasts and last year I did act on it once where I did get just one little bottle of wine and it led to about a 3 month relapse. With 119 days under your belt that AV is still there for sure but will subside if you stay the course. You have come so far now! One day at a time!

knb- In my last sobriety effort I believe I did a lot of overthinking myself. I'm taking a more relaxed one day at a time approach this time and it seems to be working so far. Life changing events do happen to everyone and for me I'll just have to deal with it when it comes.
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Old 03-04-2016, 07:12 AM
  # 439 (permalink)  
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When I quit a 3-pack-a-day cigarette habit more than 30 years ago, when I thought of the long-term without cigarettes, I would freak out. So I made an agreement with myself that if I were terminally ill with only a little time left, I would allow myself to smoke. After about a year or two it dawned on me that I had no interest in going back to smoking under any circumstances. Drinking, for me, seems now to be following a similar pattern :-). I don't do well white-knuckling so I find it helps to be a bit creative.
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Old 03-04-2016, 07:27 AM
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I'm finding my emotions are more settled now with some sobriety under my belt. Things that would have freaked me out six months ago, I've learnt to take them better -- with aplomb.

It's not a perfect process, obviously, but practicing the Serenity Prayer has really helped me.
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