Keepnitreal

Glee-
I'm doing some volunteer work and continuing in my friendships, which include dinners, parties, etc... Not all of my friends are crazy drunks, but some of them are. I so love them and enjoy them though. I don't want to give up their friendships so I need to learn to do the things I once did, but without booze.
I am working out 5+ days a week and will start concentrating on work a bit more. My hubby isn't a big drinker and that helps, but he's also pretty anti-social so I get bored. A couple of my friends that drink are cutting back or quitting now that I have. That is kinda cool. I have one GF who is a pretty normal drinker, but is good without drinking too. Perhaps I should cultivate that relationship because she is fun and sweet.
Blah.

Keepnitreal

Way-what are you doing to create a sober social life?
Others???? That's a good question Glee.

BoozeFree

Hi undies.
Finally got all caught up on posts. I really need to make a better effort of getting on here every day, I've been slacking for weeks.
My mom moved back in and it's been absolute hell. I'm actually looking to move out for my own sanity, just going to take some time to figure out how to get money together for rent somewhere when my mom still needs me to pay part of the mortgage on a house I will no longer be living in. Being around her makes me want to drink really bad but I've been staying busy for the most part hanging out with a friend and working 6 days this week so getting some good overtime hours!

Dee74

I hope you can work something out BF

D

Thumpalumpacus

That's got to be a tough row to hoe. For what it's worth, my thoughts are with you.

tootsl1

Thumpa it is painful to know we have damaged relationships with drink, maybe there is a chance, if you build strong sober foundations. If not, then at least you do still have her as a friend to cherish.

BeFree it's great to hear from you and that you are still managing your recovery. There are no easy answers to your situation, all I can do is wish you strength for your time ahead. Life is really, really unfair at times I am sorry you are getting the dirty end of the stick just now. X (((BeFree)))

Hugs to all, you are awesome X

waywardson8260

I almost forgot, but I realized on the 24 hour thread that I have been sober for 5 months now!!!!

KIR- Actually I haven't really developed a sober social life yet. I guess like your husband I am fairly quiet where my wife is the social person. I was much more talkative when drunk or so I am told but I guess in time I will make some sober friends eventually. Actually I don't think there are very many sober people around where I live. Sorry I couldn't help you too much there.

Saskia

Congrats on 5 months, WWS!

For much of my first year sober I avoided situations where there was likely to be drinking. Sometimes I still do. I find that someof the time I can be with others who drink and I don't miss it. However, there are still occasions when it brings back thoughts that it would be nice to be able to drink normally, especially when I feel stressed. I think I've finally accepted that this may always be the case.

Since I now have plenty of opportunity to socialize without drinking, I avoid situations where drinking is the main focus - eg the weekly social hour, wine and cheese parties, wine/beer tasting parties, etc. I do have dinner with people having wine a couple of times a week and I hardly notice that any more.

I've been checking in to the 24-hour thread to remind myself that it's one day at a time. I am unwilling to leave room in my life for drinking.

(((BF))), I can empathize with your situation with your mother. I had an alcoholic pothead for a husband and struggled with quitting alcohol while he was in the house. Sending you strength! Good for you for looking to move out - it sounds like the healthiest thing for you.

stargazer016

I had the same issue using a food tracking app. When I was hugely under calories each day, my weight loss stopped. I think the body goes into starvation mode and conserves every ounce of body fat it can. It's a paradox, but eating more helped me lose weight. I read that one needs to cut 3500 calories a week to burn a pound of body fat. So your goal is really to end each day 500 calories under your daily limit. That's a lot more food than you realize. Alcohol really ate up a lot of my daily calories, as I ended up drinking meals many days.

Babs1234

I don't have too much to comment on today---
Just not going to drink and I'm happy about that.
I think it's good to be thankful for at least one thing a day and
today---it's that I'm sober and have SR.
Hugs to all
Babs

Caramel

I like checking in to this thread from time to time - well done, everyone.
It's nice to see the names I remember from last year.
I'm in the January Thread still, I'm pleased to say.

Thumpalumpacus

Toots, we had a nice talk today, and I'm sober and at peace.

tootsl1

I guess that is all any of us can ask for Thumpa.

I have learned over time to accept that what will be, will be. I wasted so much energy in the past worrying over things I couldn't change, or worrying about things before they did or didn't happen. Now I leave it all in the hands of fate.

Sometimes if I need to take on more calories but don't feel hungry I drink one of the diet shakes in addition to my daily intake.
I believe eating well comes in time with exercising properly, as a part of our new self image. When we begin to lose the self-loathing we can allow for self-loving and begin to like and be proud of the person we are becoming. That person starts to want to be the best they can. Learning to love oneself is hard, especially as for a lot of us who drank, r self image was poor before we drank. But until we can love and care about ourselves, how can we expect love and respect and caring from others?

WWS congrats on 5 months! Wonderful!

BeFree no mistake you have a huge uphill battle ahead, fortify yourself with plenty of support from those who care about you, like those here in the Undies. X

I used alcohol to loosen my reserve when I was younger and shy. Somewhere along the way I became a strong confident woman who 'forgot' what she was capable of. Now I still struggle with meeting people in social situations and will be the quietest in the room. Until I get to know people a little more - then I am the loudest!
Like Sass, oftentimes being sober amongst drinkers doesn't bother me, but occasionally I regret - not that I can't drink ( remember, I can if I want - I chose not to) but that I can't be someone who could drink normally. But I know I am not, I have a chemical switch in my brain, that if I drink, will trip me into a life of misery. So I continue to chose not to drink and on those rare occasions, I accept what is with equanimity. At least my illness doesn't cost me a fortune in medication, or prevent me from doing the things I want to or cause me physical pain.

We alcoholics are lucky in that our illness has a cheap and 'easy' cure. If ever you feel sorry for yourself, visit a children's hospital. Then thank the fates they 'only' made you an alkie!

Here endeth the Toots Saturday lecture!

Hugs all, Go have a great sober weekend. Xx

waywardson8260

Thanks Toots! It is easy to take things for granted and lose track of the many things we are thankful for.

Saskia

Wonderful perspective, Toots!

Babs1234

thanks Toots. Love ya
Babs

Keepnitreal

Thanks Toots! You are once again right one the money.
Well, I'm off to the beach with my sparkling water and my son with his surf board. One of my GF's is a riot if she's drunk or sober so that will be entertainment enough!
Have a great Saturday Undies!

DrakeCKC

Hi Unders! Have not checked in for a while. Congrats on 5 Wayward!

Good to see you all! Back to check on some more of your posts.

Unders

tootsl1

Have a good and sober week Undies. X

waywardson8260

Thanks Drake!

Have a good sober week as well Toots. and for everyone!