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Class Of January 2016 Support Thread part 3

Old 01-20-2016, 07:25 AM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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Morning all - day 16 for me. Had a wicked headache last night that lasted until this morning. This is the first time I've had a headache, so guessing it's part of the long withdrawal process as I'm feeling a little nauseous too. Am starting to be glad I have my physical Friday as I've convinced myself I have every manner of disease possible ... Will be good to get the facts and stop my crazy brain from hypochondria.

Have been isolating the last 4 days, so am going to get out and go grocery shopping in a bit as my binges have cleared the fridge and cupboards out!

Hope everyone has a good day ... Amazing things happening for all of us.
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Old 01-20-2016, 07:47 AM
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Ack, feeling icky today. I had gut pain last night and today have that plus stuffy head parts and achy shoulders/neck. I *think* this is just, what I'll term, "quit cold." I had it about a week after quitting smoking too and it lasted several days. I hope it's not a real cold - I have a pretty busy work week.

Anyone else have that happen after the initial period? (The initial withdrawal was pretty mild in my case, probably since I was an evening drinker with sober-light full days each week and I was terrified of possible complications and did a short taper.)
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Old 01-20-2016, 07:50 AM
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Having some crazy thoughts this morning of getting a bottle of wine (or three, more than likely) after I get off work this afternoon. My addiction is doing its best to sweet talk me. "It's not been so bad lately," "You can stop drinking tomorrow/next week/next month," etc. It's even been trying to talk me into calling in to work (which is pretty easy to do in my job) and spending the day drinking. Crazy stuff.

Screw that. I'll be hanging around here nonstop when I get off work in a few hours. I don't want another day one. Heck, it feels good and is a relief just to type these feelings out.
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Old 01-20-2016, 07:57 AM
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KCW, good for you. I know that old, "I can quit tomorrow" bit. I told myself that for decades. Good for you for staying strong!
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Old 01-20-2016, 08:17 AM
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Hiya, Lisa in Melbourne. Just wanted to say that I relate very closely to your feelings about self-esteem issues. I carry my own baggage in that regard, running deep into my childhood. One of the things I inserted into my plan as I was screwing up the courage to be sober and recover was to address that problem in myself.

I think the difference between sobriety and recovery is the difference between treating the symptom and the problem.

Good luck and stay strong, ma'am.

Originally Posted by Sunflowerlife View Post
Thump, that is great about the meetings. It really inspires me to check one out in the area. What are the chat meetings like here? I wish they had ones during the day, I am in bed by 9pm!

I couldn't tell you about the chat meetings here, Sunny. I missed last Friday's, wasn't at home. I do intend on making one; I don't remember the start-time, though. There's also a Friday group in Marble Falls, about 20 miles from me, which I plan on checking out, too, so it may be a while before I can find out about our chat meeting.

******************************

Woke up sore; I slept in one position too long and at my age, that means that my bones have more reason for complaint. It doesn't help that I have a degenerative bone disease in my right hip which is in constant pain, but hey -- I'm on the right side of the ground, clear-headed, and I'll be sober today, all day.

I'm really looking forward to my group meeting tomorrow.
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Old 01-20-2016, 08:20 AM
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Originally Posted by Sean30 View Post
Hi class, guess I'm in this grade now
A fellow guitarist! This will be cool.

Welcome, bud, pull up a chair.

Originally Posted by patricia68 View Post
Good morning. Trying to gather strength to take my boy to school. Anxiety is overwhelming. I had vivid dreams and anxiety since 5am.

I had to remind myself that it's day 2 and this will get better. But I'm feeling really overwhelmed right now.
It's a rough ride at first, hon. Hang in there, it gets better.
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Old 01-20-2016, 08:22 AM
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KCW, I second SH's response. Head straight home after work, no stops! Change into something comfortable and grab something to eat. Don't listen to the AV, it doesn't care that it's obsession will only kill you, and it doesn't rationalize that it too will die in the process. Pretty lame, huh?
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Old 01-20-2016, 08:24 AM
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Originally Posted by Sunflowerlife View Post
What are the chat meetings like here? I wish they had ones during the day, I am in bed by 9pm!
The chat meetings have been really helpful for me. The chair person picks a topic, and people share if they feel like it. I don't often share, but just reading and committing to being there helps.

I understand about the time -- luckily they are earlier in my time zone. I don't know if I would make it if I had to stay awake until 9 pm.

If you want something less structured, you can go into the chat room any time (not just for meetings) -- there are usually a couple of people there, and sometimes more. You can see how many people are in the room by looking at the Chat Room link on the top navigation bar.
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Old 01-20-2016, 08:35 AM
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Originally Posted by SillyHuman View Post

Patricia, it really will get better. Please hang in there. Anxiety is tough to get through, and just exhausting to fight, especially with poor sleep. I hope your day improves. Keep posting. I love to see your avatar pop up. It is cute as heck.
Thank you Silly. I'm staying close to SR. I feel overwhelmed, like I want to run away but I don't even know where. I have no where else to go. Maybe I'm just trying to run away from myself...
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Old 01-20-2016, 08:50 AM
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Originally Posted by patricia68 View Post
Thank you Silly. I'm staying close to SR. I feel overwhelmed, like I want to run away but I don't even know where. I have no where else to go. Maybe I'm just trying to run away from myself...
"No matter where you are, there you are."
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Old 01-20-2016, 08:53 AM
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Originally Posted by Thumpalumpacus View Post
"No matter where you are, there you are."
That is so true Thumpalumpacus. I can't keep running away... Thank you for the quote!
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Old 01-20-2016, 08:54 AM
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Originally Posted by patricia68 View Post
Thank you Silly. I'm staying close to SR. I feel overwhelmed, like I want to run away but I don't even know where. I have no where else to go.
Hugs to you, Patricia! Oh boy, do I understand the feeling of just wanting to run.

One of my biggest struggles is learning to be alone with myself, without my brain going off in a zillion different directions, all of them negative. I am trying to stay focused on the hour I am in. In this hour, I am posting to SR. I try not to buy into thoughts that look at yesterday or tomorrow (one is tragedy, the other is terror). Even later today is off limits. I am not good at it, but it is helping anyway.

It is working better than trying to find distractions from all the negative thoughts. Recent research shows that we really cannot control our thoughts, but we can disengage from them, refuse to fuse with them. It reminds me a little of meditation, just watching the thoughts go by.

Might something like that help you feel less overwhelmed?
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Old 01-20-2016, 09:37 AM
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Hello all. Day 2, checking in. Not much to tell, just glad it's not day 1. Have a good day.
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Old 01-20-2016, 09:53 AM
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Originally Posted by SillyHuman View Post
Hugs to you, Patricia! Oh boy, do I understand the feeling of just wanting to run.

One of my biggest struggles is learning to be alone with myself, without my brain going off in a zillion different directions, all of them negative. I am trying to stay focused on the hour I am in. In this hour, I am posting to SR. I try not to buy into thoughts that look at yesterday or tomorrow (one is tragedy, the other is terror). Even later today is off limits. I am not good at it, but it is helping anyway.

It is working better than trying to find distractions from all the negative thoughts. Recent research shows that we really cannot control our thoughts, but we can disengage from them, refuse to fuse with them. It reminds me a little of meditation, just watching the thoughts go by.

Might something like that help you feel less overwhelmed?
I wish I'd seen your post sooner Silly. I felt completely overwhelmed. The house is full of people talking nonsense at all times and wanting food at all times. My silly brain is telling me that I won't be able to do what's expected from me today. Oh nevermind...just excuses...I just feel overwhelmed and panicky. I went to my father in law's secret stash. I had a sip, spit it out, the another sip. And I dumped the rest down the toilet.

If you're wondering why there's alcohol in the house, it's because I live with an alcoholic father in law. And I know where he hides it. Good thing is that now that I dumped his stash, he will find a different hiding spot. And that's good for me.

I'm going to see my counselor today. I desperately need someone to talk to. I want to remain sober the rest of the day. I need to calm down.

This month has been a huge struggle. But I don't want to give up. I remember how it feels to be calm after a few weeks clean and sober. I miss those days!
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Old 01-20-2016, 10:22 AM
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That was a smart way to get him to hide it from you.
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Old 01-20-2016, 10:30 AM
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Happy to be on day 18! I'm also looking forward to getting home and starting to read all the new books I ordered that will arrive today...books I discovered reading through SR (Under the Influence, Beyond the Influence and The Naked Mind).

I'm not much of a reader normally...but I'm guessing I'm going to read through these books very quickly. :-)
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Old 01-20-2016, 11:39 AM
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Evening all. Day fifteen finished for me, will hopefully get a full eight hours tonight.

Today was easier than stressed out Monday, but have to remember that I can end up on the crazy train or struggle bus at any time, against my will.

Hope Wednesday went well for you all.
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Old 01-20-2016, 12:23 PM
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Hi All,

I'm on day 17. So far, it hasn't been too bad. I've been going to AA meetings, taking Naltrexone for cravings and staying busy with work and hobbies.

What's hard for me is filling my time. I'm feeling quite lonely despite the fact that I'm trying to reach out to others.

I'd rather be lonely, than sick, guilty and hungover, though.
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Old 01-20-2016, 12:43 PM
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Just jumping in really quick to say I found this detox yoga/pilates video on YouTube, it's only 20 mintes and it's super simple and not at all intimidating. I was feeling sluggish and bummed all morning but then I did this and I feel stretched out, like I worked out my core, and coordinated and mentally calmer. I am a big supporter of the 20 minute work out. Just thought I'd throw this out there if anyone wants to try

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4V21ps9Fv3g
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Old 01-20-2016, 12:44 PM
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Gibby, you are doing well. Good for you!

Eyeshake, way to keep going. I agree that loneliness is preferable to the mess of addiction.

It took a little while this morning to figure out that I don't feel well. I am going to shutdown and attempt to play Skyrim clean and sober. I bet I don't last long.
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