coastalgirl

It's okay if no one responds to this. I have got to get things out there. I know about gratitude lists. I do them. I am having one hell of a day and haven't felt so depressed in a while. So I'm going to vent and share my "problem" thoughts without giving many damns. Things on my mind: -my dad who I found out is walking my stepsister down the aisle when she gets married in May. He wasn't there for me or my brother for many years. I have been so angry at him. He's really up there on my resentment list for Step 4. -speaking of step 4 I am taking for freaking EVER on it. I can't balance my life. My job. My husband. I get that sobriety comes first before anything. But my sponsor is reminding me of the importance of step 4 and I feel like I can't keep up. -I constantly crave chocolate -I can't stick to a damn schedule/to do list and no planner works for me effectively because I am so scatterbrained -I know I'm not the only person in the world with problems but my GOD I feel like **** lately and that I'm insignificant in many areas. -Yeah yeah yeah I'm sober woooo but I constantly (overthink?) think back on foods I've had that have alcohol in them and wonder if I should have picked up a white chip. Or paranoid that because I have dreams of being drunk that I have actually drank. My mind isn't where it should be today and lately and I have no clue why. I'm on my medication as usual too. Just talking. Might as well play words with friends and head to sleep.

erfra7

Well you are not alone in feeling that way. The dreams will stop and once in awhile they came back and they scared me but them I found it that's is just a dream. About your dad and the resentment leave to God for now he will guide you through it, and show you the way to handle it. Me I will not do alcohol in food but that's just me. And ranting in here will help you, go for it.

MariahGayle

Glad you posted CG.....I'm sorry things seem overwhelming today but if you didn't take a drink, that is the only thing you needed to do today!! (Hug to you)