Soberpotamus

Omg, I also have a deviated septum! But it's not causing too much trouble.

I didn't realize I had it until my mean aunt pointed it out, lol.

We have a few things in common, V.

The asymmetry is something that has really bothered me in the past. I totally get it. I struggled when I got sober. I think I was borderline body dysmorphic at one point, but somehow managed to get through it without a real crisis. Getting sober helped me get over many things, I think.

But this surgery --I really wanted this. For so many years. And there was justification for it, and the doctors all agreed. I saw four different ones to make sure!

Talking about it can help. Don't you think?

One thing that helps me is to realize how fleeting life really is. My mom dying is what sobered me up. It made me want to be sober. And when I realize I was given this face, and this body, and this mind -- and no one else's -- somehow it must be enough. It must be ok. If I'm lacking somewhere, then maybe I have something else that can make up for it.

Soberpotamus

I don't know if that helps.

Just know I care.

And I can certainly relate!

venuscat

My mum dying is what got me to SR. I was her carer for years, and my older sister (power of attorney) bullied us all and took it out of my hands, I fought as hard as I could, and lost. My mum died tragically 6 weeks later under someone else's care. They made a mistake....which you just can't make with an alzheimer's patient, and she died from the injuries of a very bad fall.

I wasn't there...my sister and I had a terrible fight, and I refused to have anything further to do with my family.
And I just sat here and drank.
If I hadn't been drinking, maybe she would not have died that way.
I imagine you can understand my shame over this...
I still haven't forgiven myself.

venuscat

I am fighting some very big emotions right now, so I am typing slowly.
Of course it helps, and I am grateful that you care. ♥

Soberpotamus

Yes, I can understand.

I blame myself at times for my mom's suicide. So, I absolutely can understand how you might feel.

I have to live with knowing my mom took a handful of pills after reading a message I sent her (after receiving many, many phone calls from her) about why I had to detach from her. It wasn't a mean letter. It was an honest letter. And I even assured her I'd always love her, because she's my mother. I didn't tell her it was temporary or forever. It was indefinite. And I had not seen her for eight months prior to that point.

I had no idea she'd try to kill herself.

So, yes, I can relate and can understand your guilt.

venuscat

So many hugs.... ♥

(And off to wash my face; my cat doesn't like it when I cry ).

courage2

Rest well tonight, Jenny.

Soberpotamus

Now I have some tears in my eyes.

Thanks, Courage.

V...I am glad we are talking.

venuscat

I do too. ♥

I hope you have a good rest tonight love.

Soberpotamus

It's been heavy.

I guess it's time to relax some.

That's another part of being sober -- things don't have to go on forever, there can be a break. We can let go, and relax, and save some for another day.

Ernest Hemingway always said to stop writing at a point where you KNOW what's going on, where you know what's coming next, where there's still some juice left, and you're fully involved...so you have a place at which to pick back up tomorrow!

Goodnight, V. and Courage

venuscat

Goodnight

Soberpotamus

Hi, HAF!! Happy to see you on the thread!

venuscat

I am watching the movie I mentioned last night....it's very entertaining. (Big Stone Gap).

In case you run out of Mr Rogers.

PixieD

I still havent had a chance to read through this whole thread..hoping to get time this evening. SPotamus i just caught up on the recipe thread & now i understand.. You're a writer! How great is that.
Happy to hear about your newest soup addition. .will you be able to chew on gnocchi / dumplings this week? I've started subbing my potatoes to sweet potatoes & dropping them into soup. They might be soft enough for you. Very simple to make & could add to any soup.
Have a happy sunday everyone, im taking today to rest..didnt stop all week & my body is screaming for a beach day!

saoutchik

Hi Jen

I am sorry about the situations with your parents. I really do understand, I won't go into details as it is too painful (and I am still a bit mood sensitive) but mine are vile people. Took me decades to realise that

Glad you are doing well physically

Soberpotamus

I woke up feeling great, aside from a little jaw pain, which is to be expected.

I've never felt better, emotionally.

It feels like I finally cut the cord tying me to them (family).

My dad doesn't understand this yet, but I dont even consider him family anymore. He is released.

He will be treated as he treats me. He's been virtually a stranger to me most of my life, so.

Soberpotamus

V, I haven't watched movies in ages. That's something I'd like to do again.

SoberLeigh

Glad that you are feeling well. Looks as though you have turned the corner!!!!

Soberpotamus

Hi, Pixie.

Soups are great for me right now, but I can't chew for several weeks.

Soberpotamus

Sao, I'm sorry they were vile.

I guess my childhood was typically dysfunctional. There were good times and bad times. I was loved, in a warped way. They tried. They didn't know much better.