Blogs


Notices

Class of October 2014 Part 25

Old 01-25-2016, 08:09 AM
  # 301 (permalink)  
Member
 
phoebe64's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 4,639
I have a very heavy heart, Octsobers.

Our community has lost a very beautiful, charming, delightful young woman to depression. The family used to live on our street, and is still in the town, and she was in college. She has struggled with suicidal issues, especially her last year in HS, but had been doing really well. The family is very close with my closest neighbor. She said they saw her several times and she was seeing great, happy. But was feeling low after heading back to school. Her family heard last night. Gut-wrenching. I feel ill, sad and heartbroken.

I also feel anxious about discussing this with my daughter, who takes a med for depression, after having suicidal impulses about 4 years ago. She is doing really well, and has even said, she feels like she was a different person then. But when these things happen, it makes me frightened that it could happen to us. That is selfish thinking, at such a time, but it hits close to home. She will hear about it today, I presume, as there are still two younger sisters at the HS.

Mostly, though, I am so sad for her family and friends. What a horribly sad thing for her parents. There are no words.

Anyway, I knew we are a compassionate group here, and I am sitting here alone with it. Felt like telling someone. I don't think it is news to text to my husband while at work. It will be upsetting to him, too, so I will wait until he comes home to tell him.
phoebe64 is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to phoebe64 For This Useful Post:
Conquest (01-25-2016), Dee74 (01-25-2016), Mark1014 (01-25-2016), SoberLeigh (01-25-2016), venuscat (01-25-2016)
Old 01-25-2016, 08:42 AM
  # 302 (permalink)  
Member
 
Mark1014's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Deep South US
Posts: 6,772
One thing that has surprised me as my kids have gotten older is the number of suicides in the high school age group. All males though. One fellow used to play here in the afternoons with my son. I just don't remember much of that growing up. I can't think of a year that there wasn't at least one in the last six or seven years. The effect on this one family I know best was brutal. They remodeled the home to try and lessen the mental image but ultimately moved out.

This tragic trend is like addiction in that it is does not discriminate. We talked with our kids as these things happened but they seemed to feel a need to seek solace more so from their friends. It's quite the unsettling realization that one's flock is of the age to have to face these things. This is no scraped knee.

With our kids we confirmed with them that they are loved and also reminded them of the guiding framework of faith within which we operate as a family. Perhaps most importantly we stressed the importance of communication with us as parents at those times that they feel overwhelmed by life.

I kid about getting older, but I had to learn many many life lessons the hard way and would not want to relearn any of them. There seems to be more of a feeling of insecurity pervasive in the world than when I was a lad. Growing up is hard enough as it is.

I'm very sorry for all involved in the loss of this young lady. There will likely be some sort of service that your daughter may attend if you think it appropriate. For our kids, it seemed to be cathartic and helped them move on.
Mark1014 is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Mark1014 For This Useful Post:
BrighterDayz (01-25-2016), Conquest (01-25-2016), Dee74 (01-25-2016), phoebe64 (01-25-2016), SoberLeigh (01-25-2016), venuscat (01-25-2016)
Old 01-25-2016, 08:58 AM
  # 303 (permalink)  
Member
 
SoberLeigh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 115,465
Oh, phoebe; I am so sorry for the young woman, her family, friends and for all of you.

The loss of a child is every parent's nightmare; when the loss at the child's own hand, it is all the more tragic, incomprehensible and devastating.

We have two sets of friends who lost a child through suicide; it was an unimaginably horrific time for them; their other children, family and friends.

I am so sorry; I will pray for you, your family, the young woman and her family and friends.

Sending you love, dear phoebe.
SoberLeigh is online now  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to SoberLeigh For This Useful Post:
Conquest (01-25-2016), Dee74 (01-25-2016), phoebe64 (01-25-2016), venuscat (01-25-2016)
Old 01-25-2016, 10:30 AM
  # 304 (permalink)  
Member
 
Conquest's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,697
My heart breaks for her and everyone that knew and loved her. So sorry to hear that happened, Phoebe. Sending prayers of peace your way
Conquest is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Conquest For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (01-25-2016), phoebe64 (01-25-2016), SoberLeigh (01-25-2016), venuscat (01-25-2016)
Old 01-25-2016, 10:34 AM
  # 305 (permalink)  
Member
 
Conquest's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,697
Venus, I hope you're getting some rest. I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling. And honestly, I am as well. I didn't know that anasthesia could cause emotional issues. Knowing that it's temporary is making me feel a little better. I hope that helps you too. Better days are ahead my sweet friend.
Conquest is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Conquest For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (01-25-2016), phoebe64 (01-25-2016), SoberLeigh (01-25-2016), venuscat (01-25-2016)
Old 01-25-2016, 01:10 PM
  # 306 (permalink)  
Member
 
Mark1014's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Deep South US
Posts: 6,772
Happy Australia Day V! I hope you wake feeling better. What's traditional for you to do/eat?
Mark1014 is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Mark1014 For This Useful Post:
Conquest (01-25-2016), Dee74 (01-25-2016), phoebe64 (01-25-2016), SoberLeigh (01-25-2016), venuscat (01-25-2016)
Old 01-25-2016, 01:18 PM
  # 307 (permalink)  
Member
 
SoberLeigh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 115,465
Happy Australia Day, Dee and v!!!!!!
SoberLeigh is online now  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to SoberLeigh For This Useful Post:
Conquest (01-25-2016), Dee74 (01-25-2016), venuscat (01-25-2016)
Old 01-25-2016, 01:26 PM
  # 308 (permalink)  
Grateful Member ♥
 
venuscat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 63,737
Good morning, and thank you. I love Dee's avatar, very creative and patriotic.
For me, it's Tuesday, and I'm just trying to find out if the supermarket near me is open. Sorry, I'm not a holiday celebration-type person.

I feel better though... how is everyone else today/tonight? s
venuscat is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to venuscat For This Useful Post:
Conquest (01-25-2016), Dee74 (01-25-2016), phoebe64 (01-25-2016), SoberLeigh (01-25-2016)
Old 01-25-2016, 01:31 PM
  # 309 (permalink)  
Member
 
phoebe64's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 4,639
Happy Australia Day, Venus and Dee! I had missed that!

phoebe64 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to phoebe64 For This Useful Post:
Conquest (01-25-2016), Dee74 (01-25-2016), venuscat (01-25-2016)
Old 01-25-2016, 01:32 PM
  # 310 (permalink)  
Member
 
Mark1014's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Deep South US
Posts: 6,772
Fine here V, glad you're better. I'm hoping that Dee wakes to a cooler environment today. He referenced being overheated yesterday.

Working on some business stuff at home today, but about to go out and plant something if I can get this stinky little westie out of my lap.

Great banner phoebe! Such unique wildlife there. I hope to see something unique when I'm in New Zealand....maybe even a kiwi bird!
Mark1014 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Mark1014 For This Useful Post:
Conquest (01-25-2016), Dee74 (01-25-2016), venuscat (01-25-2016)
Old 01-25-2016, 01:32 PM
  # 311 (permalink)  
Grateful Member ♥
 
venuscat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 63,737
I just read back....I'm so sorry phoebe love.
Your daughter has wonderful parents, and I think you will help her to cope with this news.

(((Conquest))) ♥
Hope you feel better soon love.

Still half asleep here, and I slept for at least 9 hours.
venuscat is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to venuscat For This Useful Post:
Conquest (01-25-2016), Dee74 (01-25-2016), phoebe64 (01-25-2016), SoberLeigh (01-25-2016)
Old 01-25-2016, 01:35 PM
  # 312 (permalink)  
Grateful Member ♥
 
venuscat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 63,737
Hmmm, bath time for dogie maybe?
It should be cooler where Dee lives today.
Mind you, at this time of year, we are used to this...it will get a lot hotter here still for another month or two.
venuscat is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to venuscat For This Useful Post:
Conquest (01-25-2016), Dee74 (01-25-2016), SoberLeigh (01-25-2016)
Old 01-25-2016, 01:39 PM
  # 313 (permalink)  
Member
 
SoberLeigh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 115,465
Originally Posted by venuscat View Post
I just read back....I'm so sorry phoebe love.
Your daughter has wonderful parents, and I think you will help her to cope with this news.

(((Conquest))) ♥
Hope you feel better soon love.

Still half asleep here, and I slept for at least 9 hours.

You needed that rest, v.
SoberLeigh is online now  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to SoberLeigh For This Useful Post:
Conquest (01-25-2016), Dee74 (01-25-2016), venuscat (01-25-2016)
Old 01-25-2016, 01:51 PM
  # 314 (permalink)  
Member
 
phoebe64's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 4,639
I'm okay, now V. Thank you, and everyone for the kind thoughts. I was just reeling from the news this morning. My heart aches for her family and people in her daily life who will feel her absence dramatically. My daughter had heard about it via FB, on the bus ride home. She wept a bit with me, and seems okay. She wanted to know what and how. I don't like telling her those things. Having had her threaten to take her own life a few years ago I hate supplying her with such info. But I told her what I know and said I hoped that she never feels that way again, and if she does, think of all the people who love this girl, and how heartbroken they all are, and how much they would have helped her if she had let them know. She understands.

Mark, you are so right, so many stories like this. Not too many successful suicides here, that I hear about, but so much stress, anxiety, and kids needing treatment, my own included. I have 2-3 close friends who I know have had similar issues with daughters, actually, not boys. On meds for depression, one is bipolar, and one was cutting.

What's happening to our kids? I know much of the back story about this young woman, who died. Cyber bullying was involved at one time. My own daughter was pushed ot the brink by mean girls a time or two.
phoebe64 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to phoebe64 For This Useful Post:
Conquest (01-25-2016), Dee74 (01-25-2016), SoberLeigh (01-25-2016), venuscat (01-25-2016)
Old 01-25-2016, 01:58 PM
  # 315 (permalink)  
Grateful Member ♥
 
venuscat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 63,737
Glad you are no longer snow bound Leigh!

I bet Arbor is tired...

(((phoebe))) ♥
venuscat is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to venuscat For This Useful Post:
Conquest (01-25-2016), Dee74 (01-25-2016), phoebe64 (01-25-2016), SoberLeigh (01-25-2016)
Old 01-25-2016, 02:00 PM
  # 316 (permalink)  
Member
 
SoberLeigh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 115,465
Originally Posted by venuscat View Post
Glad you are no longer snow bound Leigh!

I bet Arbor is tired...
I bet he is, too.
SoberLeigh is online now  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to SoberLeigh For This Useful Post:
Conquest (01-25-2016), Dee74 (01-25-2016), venuscat (01-25-2016)
Old 01-25-2016, 02:10 PM
  # 317 (permalink)  
Grateful Member ♥
 
venuscat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 63,737
OK, I take it back...I am now in the right frame of mind for today.

venuscat is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to venuscat For This Useful Post:
Conquest (01-25-2016), Dee74 (01-25-2016), Mark1014 (01-25-2016), phoebe64 (01-25-2016)
Old 01-25-2016, 02:11 PM
  # 318 (permalink)  
Member
 
SoberLeigh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 115,465
Very cute, venuscat!!!!!!!
SoberLeigh is online now  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to SoberLeigh For This Useful Post:
Conquest (01-25-2016), venuscat (01-25-2016)
Old 01-25-2016, 02:45 PM
  # 319 (permalink)  
Member
 
Conquest's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,697
(((Venus))) If that won't make a person smile, I don't know what will! Lol How totally adorable!
*****************

And I just don't know Phoebe. It's so sad and alarming. Kids today have so much garbage to deal with, filter, process, AND feel that they need to respond instantly, many times without the help of a trusted adult. We can only listen, remind, encourage, and make conscious efforts to check-in genuinely, without judgement, on a regular basis. Reminding your daughter of all the people that love her and that she can "plug in" to when she needs support was the perfect thing to do. Thinking of you all today with lots of love
******************

Briar, The next time you're in Texas, we're goin' muddin'. Those boots are too cute.
*******************

I may not have that rockstar smile yet, but I've got a hot pink pedicure that's made a world of difference in my attitude. A little pampering goes a long way some days.
Conquest is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Conquest For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (01-25-2016), Mark1014 (01-25-2016), SoberLeigh (01-25-2016), venuscat (01-25-2016)
Old 01-25-2016, 02:50 PM
  # 320 (permalink)  
Member
 
SoberLeigh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 115,465
I want to go muddin', too; looks like fun.
SoberLeigh is online now  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to SoberLeigh For This Useful Post:
Conquest (01-26-2016), Dee74 (01-25-2016), venuscat (01-25-2016)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:24 PM.