Originally Posted by Dee74

Right now your AV is not worrying one jot that you've been upsety... it's dancing the can can cos it thinks it's established ( or re established) a precedent where you 'can' drink if the situation is emotionally charged enough. Find

Originally Posted by Keepnitreal

Kiki-I just caught up on the posts and I wanted to let you know how special you are to all of us. I'm sorry for your childhood trauma. It's all crap, but remember that it doesn't define who you are today! As for failing us....you didn't. You slipped, but it happens. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and continue on with your therapy and sobriety. You've come a long way Baby!!!!!
There have been several slips this weekend and I am seeing a pattern once we hit the 60-70 day mark. Has anybody noticed that?
Anyway, I almost blew it on Saturday too. Hubby and my son went camping and I thought...what the hell who would know! I was on my way home from the market (I didn't buy wine while I was there because I wasn't even thinking about drinking then) and as I was driving up the hill I decided that I was going to party. Then I thought HALT. (Which is something you taught me Kiki). I realized I felt lonely because I had been isolating myself the past week because I had been struggling with cravings so much the past 7-10 days.
I called my GF and just asked how she was doing and chatted while I was sitting in my driveway. We didn't talk about alcohol, just kids, work, etc.... I went in the house and thanked my higher power, posted on the gratitude thread, and just relaxed the rest of the weekend with no further cravings! (I also read the tips on SoberTool on my phone, which is something somebody also shared on this thread, and it really really helped!!!)
Today is 78 days. I guess what I want to say is thank you to each of you for all that you share, and also to remind everybody to be super diligent once you hit the 60 day mark and think you have sobriety licked!!!!!

Originally Posted by SwimKim12

Kiki, you did not fail me. You have helped me tremendously. Honestly. Your encouragement to go to AA really did seal the deal for me, and I think that AA will be what I need to stay sober. I know how horrible you feel. I was in the April 2015 class and got three and a half months before I slipped. I was so, so, so ashamed to come back to the thread and post what had happened. The thing is, I received nothing but support from that class. And just as they supported me then we are here to support you now. Alcohol makes us hate ourselves. It makes us feel worthless. I'm so sorry that you drank and are having a hard time, but I am very glad that you came right back here and are being truthful with yourself. You know why you slipped and you have already corrected that with your therapist. That is a big step!! I really hope you can still be our cheerleader (even if it's not as often) because I absolutely love your enthusiasm. You are a wonderful person, Kiki, and I'm glad we are back on the sober train together

Originally Posted by lastchance77

Kiki, I don't know your past or if you've been at this point of sobriety before, but speaking from many years experience of failed sobriety, relapse at this point can be a very slippery slope towards a life ruled by the bottle. The fact that you are back and committed is a good sign, otherwise we would be hearing from you 6 months to a year away. Stay strong, don't tempt the AV with 'only a little bit to get through therapy' etc. it will win. My advise is for therapy and sobriety to go hand in hand, not one then/or the other. The AV will use any excuse it can get. Sorry if I seem blunt, but I've been there too many times.

Originally Posted by bblackbirdflyy

You didn't fail us kiki. You made a mistake and you are moving on from it.

Originally Posted by Dee74

I've been sick today Kiki - just logging in now for a little while I think others are absolutely right when they say only you know what you're comfortable with - I'm glad your therapist is going to slow the pace some I have to say, personally, I hope you don't back off altogether tho - I put off and put off dealing with some very painful issues in my past - by the time I had to confront them, they seemed enormous. Like I say tho, it's absolutely your call there What I think you really need to do is find alternative ways to deal with those intense emotional moments. Right now your AV is not worrying one jot that you've been upsety... it's dancing the can can cos it thinks it's established ( or re established) a precedent where you 'can' drink if the situation is emotionally charged enough. Find other ways to deal with those intense emotions really is vital if you're going to fight that inner addict off. I have faith that you can do this

Originally Posted by Missy7

I'm glad you made it back Kiki, and you haven't let anyone down. As people always tell me, your back, and that's what matters. Tomorrow is my day seven. I feel really good. My skin is clearing up. I'm back on my diet, I like my work again. I'm afraid I can see some depression on the horizon--and I hope I can dodge that. I've had a little trouble keeping up w SR, but I'll try to do better.

Originally Posted by tufty13

Hi Missy, congrats on day 7, good to see you here. Kiki, I can't offer any advice, only encouragement and gratitude for all your help with the class. I can only imagine how hard this is for you. Please stay close to the class if you feel up to it. Hope you feel better soon Dee, I'll be honest it's somewhat of a shock to consider you might be mortal. Best wishes to all the class.

Originally Posted by Dustmeoff

Speaking of a pattern on the 60-70 day mark, I had my first bad craving on day 61. I was reading old posts and one poster was drinking shots of vodka. Before I knew it I was obsessing on it, and I never even took shots of vodka! I'm on day 66 now and have thought about it every day since. It's scary.

Originally Posted by Healthygoals

Closing out day 2. VERY stressful at work but I am using the tools I have to cope and not pour poison down my throat. I have an 11am meeting tomorrow morning with the CEO that I report to and I am going in with professional and productive suggestions for the delegation of some of the work I do so I don't keep fighting the stress monster. I have to leave on a business trip this Saturday, no coworkers are attending but my OH is and we will turn most of the time into a vacation, it is in a location that we are considering retiring to, about 10 years down the road from now. I have NO, NONE, NADA intention of drinking while away. Allen Carr's book really hit home for me. Even though it took me 3 times reading it. Kiki hoping you are okay, you have given so much of yourself to this class and I hope that we can support you the way that you have supported us (though I didn't deserve it since I only have half assed put any effort into sobriety since November. Hello to the rest of you, I am off and running for a bit here, being very productive without Vodka as an appetizer before dinner.

Originally Posted by KiKi0615

I'm doing ok. A lot of guilt & shame but I know that will pass now that I'm getting sober days again. My husband is being supportive.

How are you KIR?????

You ready to be the cheerleader for the class of November 2015? I clearly failed everyone. :-( I guess you all need to find another cheerleader.

That's one of the biggest things I can't forgive myself for.,,letting you guys down!!! :-(

Patricia...where are you??? Enfin??? You guys ok? I suck! I failed! I'm mad at
Myself! :-( sooooo sorry!!!

Dee???

Originally Posted by Dustmeoff

Speaking of a pattern on the 60-70 day mark, I had my first bad craving on day 61. I was reading old posts and one poster was drinking shots of vodka. Before I knew it I was obsessing on it, and I never even took shots of vodka! I'm on day 66 now and have thought about it every day since. It's scary.

Originally Posted by Keepnitreal

Hi Kiki- I'm doing very well. After this weekend the carvings seemed to have stopped for now. I was warned in another thread I follow to watch out for these sneaky cravings to hit you at around 60+ days and again at around 6 months. They were right on because those suckers hit me hard and daily for almost 2 weeks. Anyway, you didn't let any of us down. You have been an inspiration to all and I think you should continue to carry the cheerleader torch! If it gets too much just PM me and I will help ya out, but we want you so don't stop just because of a slip! Helping others always helps ourselves!

Originally Posted by SoberMarathon

Just a sober check-in. Getting slammed with snow in Boston but I'm safe and sober in bed. So far so good!!