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Class Of January 2016 Support Thread part 2

Old 01-12-2016, 01:26 PM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Odelle View Post
My shame was so deep it kept me from logging back in. The temptation to create a new account was so strong! Well, I swallowed my pride and I am holding myself accountable. Day 5 and feeling good!
Been there before too Odelle!

Day 4 nearing an end here. Sorry to moan but today I'm irritable, anxious and sleepless but thankfully sober ☺

I'm feeling sorry for myself but probably just being ultra sensitive. I just feel like crawling into a hole and being alone, even I can see that's not healthy! I'm trying to allow myself to feel my emotions because I've just been pushing them down through drinking but I think there is a fine line between feeling and self pity. I read a quote once "poor me, poor me, pour me another drink" and I think that's really true for me so I need to be careful.

I framed a print today that I found online which is representative of the life I want. I have it by my bedside so it's the last thing I see at night and the first thing I see in the morning.

JL I'm so sorry for your loss, you are doing great and being so strong.

Hope everyone is having a safe and sober day
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Old 01-12-2016, 01:37 PM
  # 42 (permalink)  
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Hang in there Cara, it will get better. This time around, I am logging everything I eat, avoiding processed food and sugar, taking vitamins and other natural supplements, and I am amazed at how well I am feeling in comparison to recent relapse recoveries. I do have 2 cups of coffee in the morning, but no caffeine after that. For me, I think taking sugar out of the equation and limiting carbs has made the difference, that and focusing on diet and nutrition.
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Old 01-12-2016, 01:43 PM
  # 43 (permalink)  
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Welcome Odelle
Hope tomorrow is better for you Cara!

How are things now strugglingJim?

I'm sorry you got fired Silly.

D
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Old 01-12-2016, 02:09 PM
  # 44 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Odelle View Post
Hang in there Cara, it will get better. This time around, I am logging everything I eat, avoiding processed food and sugar, taking vitamins and other natural supplements, and I am amazed at how well I am feeling in comparison to recent relapse recoveries. I do have 2 cups of coffee in the morning, but no caffeine after that. For me, I think taking sugar out of the equation and limiting carbs has made the difference, that and focusing on diet and nutrition.
Thanks Odelle, sounds like you're doing great! Sugar is my next target but I'm not quite there yet ☺
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Old 01-12-2016, 02:10 PM
  # 45 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Welcome Odelle
Hope tomorrow is better for you Cara!


D
Thanks Dee
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Old 01-12-2016, 02:28 PM
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yesterday, day 8, I felt pretty good, human even, a little euphoric at being able to get some things done, had some motivation. Tried to keep the euphoria in check in worry of a crash. Well today was kind of a crash, anxiety, wanting to just curl up and die. went to work though, forced myself to eat breakfast and half a late lunch, went to the gym for a light treadmill workout, hoping the workout changes my chemistry a bit. I knew yesterday was too good to be true, but I didn't expect today to be so difficult. Anxiety, diminished metal capacity, depression, loss of appetite. Have not slept well in two nights, hoping the exercise and some melatonin will help with that. hoping for a better day tomorrow.
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Old 01-12-2016, 02:33 PM
  # 47 (permalink)  
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Sleep deprivation is pure torture. My heart goes out to you.

You are doing good. I know it probably does not feel that way. You are winning, it's just a nasty uphill battle. Tomorrow will be a better way, and I sure hope you get a good night's sleep tonight.

Hugs to you, strugglingJim.
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Old 01-12-2016, 02:41 PM
  # 48 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by strugglingJim View Post
yesterday, day 8, I felt pretty good, human even, a little euphoric at being able to get some things done, had some motivation. Tried to keep the euphoria in check in worry of a crash. Well today was kind of a crash, anxiety, wanting to just curl up and die. went to work though, forced myself to eat breakfast and half a late lunch, went to the gym for a light treadmill workout, hoping the workout changes my chemistry a bit. I knew yesterday was too good to be true, but I didn't expect today to be so difficult. Anxiety, diminished metal capacity, depression, loss of appetite. Have not slept well in two nights, hoping the exercise and some melatonin will help with that. hoping for a better day tomorrow.
I'm on melatonin also. Only a small dose, but it helps me through the night... Good job it is legal here, it isn't in my home country.

I've taken it for years, and used to mix it with drink and now it's weird taking it straight.

Hope you have a much better day tomorrow, Jim. Don't forget to check in.
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Old 01-12-2016, 03:28 PM
  # 49 (permalink)  
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Hi all. My bad day turned good for no particular reason. I took a nap in an isolation tank, and woke up feeling waaaay better.

Also, I found some essays on Buddhism and the 12 steps down in the Secular forum. I am loving them! Here is a sample:

"This moment of stopping is akin to the moment of awakening—in Zen
parlance, going beyond delusion and enlightenment—the moment when
we face reality unclouded by our conceptions. It seems that for most of us
such moments come only under great duress."


That is the story of my life. So, I am going to take in a meeting tonight. Using the viewpoint of the essays, it is not so intimidating. It can work for me.
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Old 01-12-2016, 04:54 PM
  # 50 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Cara39 View Post
Been there before too Odelle!

Day 4 nearing an end here. Sorry to moan but today I'm irritable, anxious and sleepless but thankfully sober ☺

I'm feeling sorry for myself but probably just being ultra sensitive. I just feel like crawling into a hole and being alone, even I can see that's not healthy! I'm trying to allow myself to feel my emotions because I've just been pushing them down through drinking but I think there is a fine line between feeling and self pity. I read a quote once "poor me, poor me, pour me another drink" and I think that's really true for me so I need to be careful.
Cara, I was about to post the exact sentiments! My day 4 has been riddled with anxiety and stress. I'm going to a meeting in a few and will hopefully figure out this yuck😢
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Old 01-12-2016, 05:24 PM
  # 51 (permalink)  
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Glad day 7 is over. I didn't give in to my craving for alcohol but I ate the hell out of some sugar today. Yuck. Going to feel awful tomorrow and this sugar crash is making me so relieved that it's bedtime. Just not in a good mood tonight.
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Old 01-12-2016, 05:34 PM
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congrats on your week sunflowerlife

D
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Old 01-12-2016, 06:49 PM
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Day 9 today.

Went out to a restaurant for a friend's birthday. Folk were drinking which I hardly noticed until an hour in. Then I thought "why are some of them getting loud and maybe a little loose?" There was a comedy side to it all.

Watched Star wars. Pleasantly surprised but feared I was gonna turn darkside on the idiots chatting behind me.

I've had a fairly easy week in terms of stress but I am wondering how my sobriety will last when life throws a few challenges at me.
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Old 01-12-2016, 06:54 PM
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Silly -- I was happy to see you in the chat meeting tonight, and to hear that you went to a f2f meeting.

The chat meetings have helped me a lot.
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Old 01-12-2016, 07:20 PM
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Originally Posted by vanaprastha View Post
Silly -- I was happy to see you in the chat meeting tonight, and to hear that you went to a f2f meeting.

The chat meetings have helped me a lot.
Thank you vanaprastha. The SR meeting was good, loved the topic.

The F2F meeting was more uncomfortable, but I felt connected to those people. I am really glad I went. It feels good.

And it is time for me to get ready for bed.

Good night, januaries. Stay strong!
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Old 01-12-2016, 08:18 PM
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Hey all. Closed down another shift with no alcohol! Tonight it was quite easy.

It's also the first night I'm going to bed without snacks. I did arrange a pretty rich dinner for myself for tomorrow night though. Two pieces of fried chicken, two tamales, and a piece of chocolate pie. I'm looking forward to it. And, at the end of this week, I'm looking forward to dropping back on the carbs as well.

Still feeling the loneliness just sloshing around inside. I've never lived outside of a relationship until this past year. And, I still feel new at it. And now I'm very aware of my feelings, without the alcohol.

I'll lurk around here for a bit, then time to read and sleep even more.
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Old 01-12-2016, 08:22 PM
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Day 5 coming to a close. I think the withdrawals are finally out of my system.

I swear, we drink for so long we become dependent on it to feel normal. Taking it away definitely does not feel normal.

Now that withdrawals are done I guess it's time to start putting the plan into action. I think I'm going to go to a meeting tomorrow. I can sit there, without anxiety, and listen. I have no desire to share.

Anyway, stay strong everyone. Good night
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Old 01-12-2016, 08:30 PM
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Winding down day 5, sipping a cup of Sleepytime tea. I have job interview tomorrow morning and I am hoping that my brain is actively engaged! Good night everyone.
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Old 01-12-2016, 09:07 PM
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Nothing positive to say. Nothing useful to say . The BS that ppl do during pre funeral viewings, and the BS they attempt to out ppl through while feeding their redneck selfish social cravings, is just sickening. I was brokenhearted before. Now I'm just sick.
I'm no ones example, by ANY means, ....
Just sad.
102 degree fever doesn't help
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Old 01-12-2016, 11:21 PM
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Originally Posted by JL2014 View Post
Nothing positive to say. Nothing useful to say . The BS that ppl do during pre funeral viewings, and the BS they attempt to out ppl through while feeding their redneck selfish social cravings, is just sickening. I was brokenhearted before. Now I'm just sick.
I'm no ones example, by ANY means, ....
Just sad.
102 degree fever doesn't help
JL, thinking of you today. At one point a few days ago I was angry and sickened by people... and that wasn't in an extreme situation. It must be so much harder for you, dealing with it. You're doing great, even if you don't feel like it. Look after yourself.
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