noneever

Hi everyone.

This is day 2 for me. I'm feeling positive about today but I'm just taking this one day at a time.

I was a 2-3 times a week binge drinker. I've done so many stupid, dangerous and embarrassing things in the last 12 months while drunk.

I've finally realised I can never srink again. I'm scared. But I know i can get through today.

Glb82

I was the same. You're in the right place! This is a safe place to be and to check in. I've been checking in am and pm and when I'm on what I like to call the 'struggle bus.' We will see a lot of each other!

As for embarrassing events.. We've all had them, but now we choose not to have them anymore. Welcome to freedom to embarrass yourself sober.

How are your withdrawals Going?

strangeangel

I've been here before so I know it gets a little easier, but my shame and embarrassment are very over whelming right now. I really don't want to lose anymore of my life to alcohol and I just want to fulfill the dreams I have. I have the beginnings of a plan, starting with Antabuse and staying away from the bar. I don't really drink at home or every day, but the minute I get going it all comes tumbling down. I know I will be happier sober, but sometimes I feel like the odds are stacked against me. I put a ton of my pressure on myself as it is, so I'm going work on that first.

SoberinSyracuse

Everybody (not just alkies) suffers from the temptation to compare themselves to others. Don't do it. Your life is your life. I'm 49 too, and I'm EXCITED about what the future holds, all the great things I'll be able to do now that I'm sober! Try looking at it that way instead. Never compare your insides to other people's outsides.

noneever

I'm feeling a little anxious but it's manageable. Slept deeply last night which is great. Drinking lots of water and tea as I still feel dehydrated. A few trips to the toilet for an 'upset stomach' IYKWIM. Overall I feel pretty good.

illi1111

Rough day here. Started out feeling strong, but anxiety has set in. AV is talking loud. Not going to drink. Thank you all for posting. Reading here is what gets me through days like this.

Olivia2011

Dee - whenever you say that if you can do it, anyone can do it, I always say, "I'll second that!" LOL!

I try not to compare myself to other people. I'd beat myself up if I did!!!

CC - good advise ! I used to think "play the tape thru" was kinda hokey but this is at the top of my list for recovery. I'm a big Chardonnay fan. I even like the taste !!! Sometimes I think oh just the taste of a glass or two. Then I picture how the past few years in particular turned out. I go to zombie land! What fun was that! NOT !

I also like the "play the positive tape thru" from a book I read. The list goes on and on with that one.

I'm getting into mindfulness, body-mind relaxation and meditation. Gonna check out Sun's yoga also. I watched some today. I do keep all links that people post. And do look at them. Good stuff.

I also finally decided that I'm not going to end my life living in a bottle of wine. I would hate to be known as a hard worker that died from complications from alcohol. It seems contradictory that you can be a workaholic and an alcoholic! Also my four year old granddaughter has been noticing for at least a year all of this wine consumption. She even mentions wine to me. Kids learn by example. Don't want her to pick up this nasty habit.

Welcome Noneever and M1A1 and all new people. When I first saw M1A1 my first thought was MIA missing in action!

Well that's about all this feeble brain can address for now.

I'm powerful yet have been powerless with alcohol. Gonna get my power back one day at a time.

Happy sobriety.

Olivia

xristoff

At least i didnt make things worse


day 17 here i come

Mish

Strangeangel for so many years I have struggled with depression and anxiety. One thing that really helped me was to stop fighting...fighting drains you and takes all you strength. I would go through days where I felt like I was holding on white knuckled for dear life....Other days the feeling of dread and no light at the end of the tunnel....everything looked grey. I have learned to "float" through these awful times....let the feelings come accepting them but not fighting the way I feel......by floating you are not expending energy trying to fight with an already exhausted depleted mind....especially when dealing with an addiction. xxxx stay with us honey x

TigerLili

Oh hai you guys.

I just tipped the last remaining alcohol in my house down the sink. Some of it I am pretty sure I'd never drink and I was keeping it for guests, but even having it in the house is a reminder so down the gurgler it went. Now to take out the bag of empties. Here goes my third attempt at sobriety.

Plenny

I don't think I have much to say but I just felt like checking in again. Especially since I had a CLOSE ENCOUNTER tonight.

I am home, staring at the pieces I wanted to work on tonight, not sure what to do with them next. If I just settle in a bit more I'm sure I'll come up with something but maybe I should sleep on it.

Made a big bowl of miso soup with lots of veggies. I bought some rose petal tea. Gotta make sure I can still feel fancy. I want to watch something on the netflix or something. I'm sick of Drunk History.

Maybe I'll just journal for a while or read or something. I have so much work to do I didn't think boredom would be a danger, but now I've hit artists block.

Odelle

Welcome TigerLili, as they say, the third time’s a charm. Dumping the alcohol is a cathartic act, a great physical reinforcement to your commitment to sobriety.

Checking in on the evening of day 11, AV still MIA. I spent several hours at the mall this afternoon, taking my time and just enjoying being out of the house. Needless to say, not much accomplished on the home front, but I’m sure it will still be there tomorrow.

Behindthelens

Started catastrophizing last night over an annoying health issue which re-surfaced. I was close, so very close to getting a drink. No idea how it passed but by 11pm I was alseep. Things look a bit different now after a 8 hour sleep.

Day 15.

strangeangel

Was researching ways to detox my body now that I really want to quit drinking. It's seems like so much to do. Basically I would have to stop eating all the stuff I like and give up coffee too. How do I be ok with giving up just alcohol, which is huge! When I want to get sober, I feel like I have to change EVERYTHING about me. Does anyone else feel this way. How do I deal with us? I'm always feeling like I set my self up for failure

Odelle

First thing is to get sober, strangeangel, a good physical detox can be done later. I have cleaned up my diet, but still have a couple cups of coffee in the morning, my go to drink throughout the day is water. Most people tend to crave sugar during the initial detox and usually indulge as a replacement to the sugar uptake in alcohol. I have kicked sugar this time around and can honestly report feeling much better for it.

So, go with your gut on this one. If it is too much to tackle early on, knock out alcohol first and foremost, and deal with any remaining changes you want to make when you are feeling stronger in your sobriety.

Thumpalumpacus

Rough night here, too. The finality of our split has me very sad and AV was and is persistent. I'm not going to drink. I'm going to go home tonight and write her a letter -- whether I send it or not I don't know, and that might well be irrelevant anyway. I just need to express my feelings in the written word, so that I may dissect these emotions before committing them to paper and ink.

I'm strong, and will not fail, but I've never had to exert this much effort. It's an eye-opener.

Thanks again, everyone. I couldn't imagine coming here to confess failure; it is not an option, and I know that for a fact.

Odelle

Awe Thump, I really feel for you, breakups are so hard. I've been married 33 years, but have been a shoulder to cry on for both my children. It really brings back memories of early love breakups.

I like your plan of writing a letter. You may consider starting a journal to record your feelings and thoughts on a daily basis.

Hang in there Thump and don't give into the AV, there is a beautiful life ahead of you!

Mish

Hugs for you Thump xxx

Thumpalumpacus

Thanks, y'all, I'm gritting my teeth and white-knuckling it.

I've been planning to resume journaling, which I did for many years as a writer-- in fact, I've got a blank composition book waiting at home. Tonight's as good a night as any.

Thanks again.

Free2B84

Day 18 here... I wanted to know if anyone has ever done a liver detox? I have found a few different powders or pills online but not sure what to choose. Does anyone have advice?

Goodluck everyone!