Thumpalumpacus

Day 14. I went to my second 12-step meeting tonight, to reconnoiter another group, and found it much more to my liking; a wider age range and variety of perspectives, a convivial atmosphere rather than funereal, open to addicts of other substances than alcohol (not that I'm one -- my addiction is only alcohol -- but they too provide more insight into the underlying issues I think we all face).

I will definitely adopt this as my home group, after I return to the first next week to offer my gratitude.

Also, next week, I will explore another group which meets on Fridays so that I can attend groups on both my days off.

I'm not a believer, so the religious aspects sometimes stick in my craw, but these are good folk from whom I know I have much to learn, and hopefully pay it back -- or forward -- once I understand myself and my addiction enough to give useful commentary.

Got started on that speaker cabinet, too -- got the rough cutting done. This project will take some time (I'm aiming for a furniture-quality piece, no black tolex covering up shoddy workmanship), and it feels good working with my hands again, and knowing that the finished product will also help me give better voice to my musical creativity.

It's been a damned good day.

I felt an odd feeling today that took a moment to identify ... I was positively happy for the first time in a long time.

Thanks to SR and everyone in this thread.

SillyHuman

Thump, you have a great attitude. It is great that you found a meeting that clicked.

I attended 2 meetings today and had some craw sticking. It seems the more I go, the less annoyed I am by that part of it.

Nice job starting the cabinet too.

Dee74

'grats on 2 weeks Thumpalumpacus

D

bluedog97

I drank y'all. I feel I've let the thread down. Today's is my sister's birthday. She sticks in my graw. Tomorrow is her sober date. Sticks in my graw.

Get me past these 2 days. Oh, dear alcohol. I know that's an excuse.

I'm sorry. I have a funny thing about dates. 1/8 didn't work. I'm looking at 1/22. I'm sure this will infuriate some folks.

SillyHuman

I called Leslie tonight. I guess I will just start calling her my sponsor.

After hearing a bit about the last few years, she suggested I get a good therapist, in addition to working with her. That kinda surprised me. It is actually a really good idea, so I will go therapist shopping tomorrow, again. I have had a hard time finding one. They seem to want to be life coaches, and talk about hobbies, and meanwhile I struggle with a brain that just does not work right.

I bought some books. Any Brene Brown fans here?

Still not eating worth a darn, and smoking like steam train, but clean and sober and ready for bed.

Have a good night everyone.

SillyHuman

Bluedog, I am so sorry. Drinking is perfectly normal for an alcoholic. We are doing something abnormal when we quit. It is hard.

Do not put it off until the 22nd though. That would just be prolonging the misery.

Start again tomorrow. We will still be here.

SillyHuman

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Odelle

Hey Bluedog, I think 1/15 sounds better than 1/22. I played that game with myself too, it was going to be 1/1, broke than on 1/2. Then it was going to be 1/6, didn't happen. Decided it's now or never, I can't keep putting it off, so with no particular numerical pattern, it is now 1/8, even thought the AV kept whispering doesn't 1/16/16 sound better?

You can do this, pick yourself off and get back on board!

Dee74

don't put it off bluedog.
I've done that before and stopped in March.

Today is always the best day to quit.

D

bluedog97

No worries, SH. Odelle, 1/15 is my sister's sober date. Like I said, today is her b-day. I missed the dinner ( earlier post).

I want to get as far away from this as possible. Some issues there. 1/22 is best I can do.

I'm going radio silent. Please continue on. Don't be discouraged. I'm ****** up.

Odelle

Your call Bluedog, but stick around, we are still here for you!

Dee74

I hope you reconsider - I also hope you read the posts about self care vs selfishness

D

bluedog97

There's an underlying issue, Dee. I can't pinpoint what it is. It's insidious. I'm working on it.

Glb82

Morning all! Start of Day ten here. It's a Friday which is a challenge.

I've got to round about this point before and thought "I've just proved I can do it..". And sabotaged myself. Have to keep looking at the positives.
1. No hangovers
2. No bad, embarrassing digestive system
3. Less bloated face
4. I've saved about 150 euros
5. I haven't taken a pain pill. In ten days I'd have taken 20.
6. No cringeworthy moments falling over, I'm bruise free. Haven't been bruise free since 2006!
And much more...

Glb82

Sending you some strength bluedog.

BillyPilgrim

Hi all. I'm Billy from the class of 2012. 4 years dry this month. It's worth it so keep on and enjoy those sugar cravings your body wants the sugar you cut out so for a while you can gorge on cake and lose weight. What's not to like. Good luck

TinkerB

Hey that's awesome! Day 10 for me too and Friday is definitely a challenge. Used to drink my way through each and every weekend.

Dee74

I hope you can consider the possibility that you can deal with your underlying issue by getting sober...

not that you have to deal with the underlying issue to be sober?

Trust me on this.

Our AV loves it when there's an underlying issue we can't readily fix and we 'have' to drink over....

D

Glb82

Having the realisation that I have neglected a lot of areas of my life. Need to motivate myself to do a lot of things my immature self has been ignoring.
Doctor, dentists (!), gynecologist, pension, house and health insurance, optician, the list goes on... And on...

Dentist needs to be first on my list.

tiredofme

Sorry to let you all down day 1 again feel such a failure (also hungover and generally awful) it really honestly is not worth it.

I like the idea of 16/1/16 being my stop date i will use it even though I have no intention of drinking any poision today. I failed on a thursday no suprises there i need to learn to entertain without getting blotto drunk. I need to learn to do most things without drinking tbh been so long its going to be rough.