Keepnitreal

Hang in there Patricia! No sudden decisions! Take a deep breath and just hang in there. Didn't your hubby threaten you with a custody fight or am I confused? I hope you're documenting everything!!!!

Ultra-So glad you're taking the needed steps. This is a good day to take charge of your life and be the father/husband/friend that you want to be.

ultradad

Thanks SM and KIR, felt like I came home! Picked up a white chip and know its exactly where I needed to be tonight!

Hope everything turns out okay, Patricia!

Dee74

I agree with the others Patricia - try not to leap too far ahead right now.
It's good you have your son and he you

D

KiKi0615

YEP!!! The THING you experience is actually a THING! Euphoric recall.

U doing a little better?

KiKi0615

Let us know how it goes! ACTION is the key! :-)

KiKi0615

Wow! Out of the mouth of babes! You must feel very overwhelmed Patricia. :-(

I'm so happy your son has you! He needs his mom right now & how wonderful it is that you are sober & present for him! What a gift.

Just keep doing what your doing & try to "shelf" any big changes for a while if you can UNLESS you and your son are in (((danger))) then of course you would want to go somewhere safe or call for help.

I am really tired so I am going to sleep now but I want you to know you will be at the top of my prayer list tonight. I will also pray for all my other November classmates.

Xoxoxoxoxo

bblackbirdflyy

Yay Ultradad! :-)

bblackbirdflyy

Chin up rah. :-) no such thing in a failure that keeps trying... (so I tell myself) glad to see you back at it.

patricia68

I talked to my husband tonight. I just wanted to discuss that I was concerned about his short temper. We ended up having a long conversation, and he mentioned that he thinks that there's no hope for our marriage...and right after that he wanted to discuss retirement plans and holidays and investments...

I don't think he's well. I am not qualified to diagnose, but he's showing so many symptoms of mental illness. I wish I knew what it is so i could help him. But he refuses to get help.

Right now I'm not going to make any decisions. I gave myself 6 months before even start thinking of making any decisions. But in the meantime I'm still going to seek support from my doctor and counselor, and hopefully I can find some legal advice that I can afford.

At least my AV is behaving. I have to be strong for my son. But I feel guilty, like a failure. I can't stop thinking that if it wasn't for all the resentment and anger that I have inside, my marriage wouldn't be in so much trouble...but then I think that it takes 2 to make a marriage work, right? It can't be all my fault...I don't know...

patricia68

He said he would fight for joint custody. I don't think I have a case, verbal abuse is wrong, but it is not always against the law. He never threatened to hurt us. I don't even know if writing down what he says would count if we go to court?

patricia68

We are not in danger. Thank you for praying for us Kiki! xoxo

SwimKim12

I'm sorry that you are going through such a hard time, Patricia. It sounds like you are making good choices by seeking guidance through your doctor and counselor. Sending good thoughts to you (((Patricia)))

Keepnitreal

Patricia-it's just a good idea to track your recovery and stability, and his moods. Write down the negative interactions with your son and also any comments like your son made tonight.
This is more about protecting yourself if he tries to take your son from you because your sons well being is priority!

Dee74

There's some really good reading and advice at the top of the FFA forum about abuse Patricia - what it is and what you might do about it.

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

D

snowvelvet

Thanks for your reply to my rant, Kiki. Very much appreciated.

You're right, it is twelve step work. I just feel quite pounced on with lifts and I think you're right. I'm just going to have to say I don't feel ready to be picking up other people and having a car full of people. Plus no one offers any petrol money, and petrol is bloody expensive here.

Feeling ok this morning. Am sat outside another meeting. It's raining a lot here. Ah well, could be flooded!

Take care, Patricia. It sounds like he is very confused as well. Sounds like you have a good plan. Well done in your chip Ultradad.

Day 59.

Autumnlover19

I blew it. I'm sorry everyone. Again, it was my anger at my OH. That is always the reason I relapse. The blame is on me I know. BUT...he slept til 3:15 pm yesterday. He is not a doctor. He does not work nights. The reason he slept so late is because he stays up late watching Netflix and playing video games.

I missed out on skiing with my nieces, who leave town today. Because I had no babysitter for my son. Because his dad wanted to sleep all day.

I drank all day instead. Out of anger, depression, frustration.

I want to leave my OH. He is detrimental to my sobriety and does not care. He drinks. I do nearly all the care of our son. I am essentially a single mom, who has to clean up after his dad as well.

Counseling is out of the question. I wanted to go at first, but now I don't even care to. I'd rather be done with him.

Of course, he filmed me drunk, I was drunk around our son. This custody battle will be ugly. The best thing I have going for me on that issue is, my OH has terrible credit, and I don't. I can afford a good lawyer. I mean, I can't really, but my credit is good enough that I will get a loan to pay for one.
Thanks for listening. I love you all. I want to stay in this class.

Dee74

Hi Jemma - welcome back

I think most of us have drank at someone - but it really doesn't get us anywhere.
There are better healthier and more life affirming ways to deal with frustration

I hope the new year will be one of good change for you

D

Healthygoals

Good morning everyone.

Been reading and lurking, drinking some days, not drinking others.

Congrats to all of you maintaining sobriety.

I guess I want sobriety but not bad enough?

SoberMarathon

41-days, checking in. Had a few challenges throughout the past week, out for dinner with family last night and to a bar with live music afterwards. I'll admit that I'm not overly comfortable being in bars like that just yet but I didn't have much choice given family were visiting from out of town and this is what they wanted to do. Watching others drink and act tipsy ain't my thing, not sure it will ever be anymore. Also had to watch the others break out the champagne yesterday afternoon and just sit around and gab. Again, not my thing anymore so I just focused on keeping our kids entertained.

I was told this first year of sobriety and all the first's that go along with it will be tough - proving to be fairly accurate. Still I have zero desire to drink, the thought of it makes me nauseous, thankfully. No romanticism going on here!

Stay strong everyone. Sobriety is worth it's weight in gold.

bblackbirdflyy

Awe. Hang in there patricia. Maybe dad needs an ultimatum at some point. :/ sorry you are going through this.