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Class of October 2014 Part 24

Old 01-03-2016, 09:23 PM
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One of our Octsober parents will have to verify this, but I think it's pretty normal to need a little space from your kids at some point.
I think you are a wonderful mom Briar, and as I've said before, I think all of you are incredible parents.
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Old 01-03-2016, 09:45 PM
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Thanks V, I do my best with that kid, which I hope is good enough. Hopefully she'll turn out all right, crazy mom and all.
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Old 01-03-2016, 10:01 PM
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She's doing beautifully Briar. A bright, happy, smart kid with an awesome sense of humour, and a penchant for kooky song lyrics.
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Old 01-04-2016, 04:01 AM
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Everyone needs a break from their kids now and then Briar. Back to work after two weeks off. I'm thankful that my 89 y/o co-worker does not work on Mondays. I would have zero time for him today and he deserves better than that. I'll be better prepared tomorrow.
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Old 01-04-2016, 05:14 AM
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Good morning all and happy Monday.

Wow!.....89 and working. I'd rather be 89 and traveling but may have to work to pay for it all.

I think it would be odd to not need a break from our kids sometimes. And they need that break too even though they don't know it.

Working from home today on a compliance manual for my office that I've procrastinated on far too long. It's full of governmental/legalese type wording that seems by design to be frustratingly hard to understand. But I'm gonna start off with a cup of coffee and then gym time!

Wishing each of you the best day.
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Old 01-04-2016, 06:38 AM
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Originally Posted by Briar View Post
Hi guys, well the storm wasn't much. Hopefully more to come this week.

Lots of organizing today. I've been real weird about the food lately which has resulted in an eerily orderly kitchen. Could have worse problems though, right?

Feeling thoroughly overwhelmed by my kid though. We've been attached to each other constantly (even slept together) for several days now, and I'm ready for a little space. I feel like a horrible parent for admitting that, and for hiding out in the kitchen today in part to avoid her. She's in a real whiny, sulky, demanding phase right now too, which is extra irritating. I love being with her, but work will actually give me a little break.

Parenting is one of my biggest insecurities. It's freakin hard!

Anyway, have a good night, and I will talk to you guys tomorrow.
I am so very glad my kids went back to school today! Parenting is fraught with self doubt. And, kids are just small people, with personalities all their own. We don't have to delight in their antics every single moment. That is why it is called unconditional love, right? We love them, even if they are annoying little trolls!

All that said, I do have great kids, but they bicker and vacations end up being too much constant togetherness for all of us. I am so happy to be sitting here alone, oops, with Huxley, today! We just had a walk, and now time for coffee, then I will crate him and do some vacuuming and purging. My bedroom is getting cleaned after being Christmas central before the holidays.
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Old 01-04-2016, 06:41 AM
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That document sounds annoying, Mark. I bet you can hire someone that specializes in interpreting and applying the new rules to your business. I have a friend who does that specifically for nursing homes regarding reimbursement details. But, of course, that costs money. But, if you get really stuck on it or worry about interpreting it all correctly. I swear they write that stuff to confuse people on purpose.
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Old 01-04-2016, 06:59 AM
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Breaks are needed Briar and they are just that. Breaks. We will forever be parents which is why I had to learn to embrace parenthood instead of fighting to keep my old life. Sounds familiar, right? It's just like with sobriety. Sobriety became apparent after the first year and goes hand in hand with that role. By combining the two now I have given myself an enormous amount power and a heart that's grown three sizes.

Maybe you could hire a sitter so you could go catch a movie some weekend? It's funny how you change after the second kid. I've really learned to let go a lot more and not fuss about all the details. They'll be fine.

Have a great day everyone.
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Old 01-04-2016, 07:24 AM
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Good morning, octsobers.

I agree with everyone else, Briar. You are a great Mom and give your all to your daughter. As much as parents love and are totally committed to their children, they need a break. It would be great if you and your husband could arrange a regular date-night. Alone time is important.
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Old 01-04-2016, 07:26 AM
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And speaking of alone time, the last of the house quests left this morning!!!!!!!!

. . . . and I am alone with mounds and mounds and mounds of laundry.

Hope to be able to check-in between loads!!!!

Love to all.

The Octsobers rock.
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Old 01-04-2016, 04:09 PM
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I hope yours was a nice day of serenity Leigh, you most certainly earned it. Did a little laundry myself today.....one load. And that reminds me I need to move it to the drier.

I hope the jump back to normal routine has gone nicely for the gang. I like this quiet time of year but understand that some find it to be a downer.

I got an email from my dad's brother today and he closed by asking when I'd be down to see them because he had some beer in the fridge with my name on it. In my reply I told him I wasn't doing any 'beer drinking' these days as it had become too important to me but that I'd enjoy a visit all the same.

It's funny that something as simple as that did make me feel a little vulnerable/uncomfortable/are they gonna take my guy card kind of feeling. Anyway, I guess it's just another small step in establishing myself as a non-drinker. I've very much isolated myself from going down to the home farm because I discovered last time that I wasn't ready just yet. I miss it sometimes though as I feel close to my dad there. So I've put it out there now and it may help when I venture down someday.

Oh yeah, and in his reply he said 'good for you, all of us could cut back a little'.
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Old 01-04-2016, 04:28 PM
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I think it's a huge step Mark, not a small one at all.
And I understand it made you feel vulnerable, and I have felt the same way, guy-card or no.
Now you have given yourself even more freedom ~ you can go 'home' and enjoy being with your family.
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Old 01-04-2016, 04:35 PM
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I used to worry too, Mark, when I went to book clubs or Bunco Nights that the women would be put-off by my refusal to accept a glass of wine but it turned out no one cared at all and the invites kept coming in. I didn't attend for a long while, though, and didn't accept invitations until I felt more comfortable in my sober-skin.

You will know when you are ready to visit the home farm and will do just fine.
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Old 01-04-2016, 04:55 PM
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Sometimes I just have to draw the line, as in "Happy Hour?" Nope, can't make that, just not ready to meet in a bar.
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Old 01-04-2016, 05:29 PM
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Goodnight, Octsobers.

I am exhausted; see you tomorrow.

Love to all.
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Old 01-04-2016, 05:38 PM
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Good night Leigh and thanks for the kind words V.

BD that bit in the 24 hour made me curious.....I've got to find that old album and see if I had a grooms cake!
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Old 01-04-2016, 05:39 PM
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And please let us know Mark.
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Old 01-04-2016, 05:56 PM
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It's always with the guys isn't it Mark? I've had to deal with a lot of that in my sobriety as there was no avoiding most of it. A few weeks ago an old friend came to visit. I was genuinely put off by the anticipation of that visit and felt the need to post (I think you'll remember as you commented on my thread about it in the newcomers). Anyways, I'm glad you got it out in the open over email before you went. That helps set the stage. When I show up for family affairs now it's a tub of sparkling waters instead of beers. I just wish folks would resume their own drinking instead of what they think is supportive by not. Yep. I'm still bashful about it at times, but it's gotten better.
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Old 01-04-2016, 05:56 PM
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Originally Posted by venuscat View Post
And please let us know Mark.
Yep, this southern dude had a proper groom's cake....grapes and all.

I was so young!
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Old 01-04-2016, 06:11 PM
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I do remember that Arbor. And it seems that your wife and one son were away.

But you're right, I'm not sure why I find that whole setting down home so much more daunting. I recall that you made it fine with your friend. But you know, and I don't mean this in a way that's not supportive of my sobriety, I had some really great times in the last years of my dad's life with just him and me sitting on the back lawn looking over his herds with him and his bourbon and me with mine. He talked to me not 'at' me like it was most of my growing up. So I get triggered on many levels when I'm there but also am drawn to be out on that place sometimes.

The huge majority of my alcohol related memories are negative, but not those. Not at all. It's a comfortable feeling that I want back when I'm in that setting......and I'll get that back one day, without the alcohol.

Goodnight gang.
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