Class of November 2015 Part 7
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 563
Hi, All.
Kiki, thank you for that post. I love how energetic you are
I'm the same as Dallow, I've been scared to go to an AA meeting just because of the unknown - but you are right, everyone there walked in without knowing anyone and just wanted help! And I agree with your assessment of the "real" NYE - the side that isn't shown on social media. The dark side that we alcoholics know all too well. I will have none of that either!
Patricia and KIR, I'm glad you ladies are doing well! Fabat, my NYE plans are similar to yours, and I'm looking forward to it!
Kiki, thank you for that post. I love how energetic you are
I'm the same as Dallow, I've been scared to go to an AA meeting just because of the unknown - but you are right, everyone there walked in without knowing anyone and just wanted help! And I agree with your assessment of the "real" NYE - the side that isn't shown on social media. The dark side that we alcoholics know all too well. I will have none of that either!Patricia and KIR, I'm glad you ladies are doing well! Fabat, my NYE plans are similar to yours, and I'm looking forward to it!
It's the afternoon of the 31 st here - about 9 and a half hours to go 
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Augusta, GA
Posts: 888
Originally Posted by KiKi0615 
Hi everyone! Finally had a chance to catch up on the posts. We were celebrating one of our children's birthdays. :-)
46 days today. I still have thoughts of drinking but try to quickly dismiss them & stay busy. Sooooo much better than a few weeks ago!
@Dallow-you're right! It IS easy to forget how bad we feel when we drink! The AV is relentless! I think AA would be great for you. I really love it! There is zero pressure & lots of support when I need it. :-) Why are you afraid of AA?
@Swimkim-I totally agree with you. If people weren't happy & at peace in sobriety...no one would stay sober!
@learn2fly-I agree with you, alcoholics most likely wish they could drink like they used to (which is ALOT) without the consequences. And haha....you're so right..."why drink if you aren't getting drunk?" I have never understood how and why someone sits down & has one or two drinks with dinner & stops. Weird. Lol.
@KIR-How are you doing today?
@Canguy-how is Tokyo? Are you ok???
@FaithfulandFree-thanks for the kind words. :-) How are you doing today?
@Blackbird-how are you? Are you feeling better? I'm sorry you drank. Don't beat yourself up. It's not worth it. Can you pinpoint where you derailed? Any more tools you can add to your chest? Thinking about you!
@Snowvelvet-56 days!!! Yay!
@Ultradad-I understand how you feel. Alcohol is everywhere! I often feel like I'm being left out & wish I could drink like a normal person but I can't & it's ok. Out of all the diseases to have, alcoholism is the only one that you can put into remission just by not drinking. :-)
@Jemma-enjoy your family time & ski time!
@Patricia-how are you feeling? Did you get your AV to shut up?
@Dee-I agree with you...New Years is just another day & personally...I think it's over-rated!
New Years Eve: everyone is in their finest clothes, looking nice, smiling & laughing as they chug their alcohol...5-4-3-2-1....the countdown to the New Year. People like us won't remember it. Even many NON-alcoholics won't remember it! What they DON'T show in all those Facebook & Instagram photos are the people stumbling down the road, passed out in the bathroom, vomiting, make-up running down their faces, handcuffs on their hands because they just got arrested for driving drunk or public intoxication...etc...
New Years Day: (they don't show this on Facebook or Instagram either). More vomiting. Lost wallets, purses, cars, money, clothes, shoes etc. Horrible headaches. Lost memories because of a blackout. Waking up in a hospital or jail cell. Mysterious bruises. Anxiety. Depression. Confusion. Shame. Guilt. Embarrassment. Etc.
What you are going to see if you log onto Facebook or Instagram over the next few days: it's gonna look like EVERYONE on the planet EXCEPT you is smiling, laughing, drinking & having a blast! It's a LIE! It's not that fun! What you see on FB is not real life. I plan to NOT log on to FB for a few days b/c my AV will use it to trigger me.
Sooooo....I hope you all are having a great day. I'm planning to lay low for the next few days & watch sports & eat good food! I'll be checking in here a lot too!
Just remember...don't drink! You will REGRET it!
If I missed anyone...HELLO!!! :-)
46 days today. I still have thoughts of drinking but try to quickly dismiss them & stay busy. Sooooo much better than a few weeks ago!
@Dallow-you're right! It IS easy to forget how bad we feel when we drink! The AV is relentless! I think AA would be great for you. I really love it! There is zero pressure & lots of support when I need it. :-) Why are you afraid of AA?
@Swimkim-I totally agree with you. If people weren't happy & at peace in sobriety...no one would stay sober!
@learn2fly-I agree with you, alcoholics most likely wish they could drink like they used to (which is ALOT) without the consequences. And haha....you're so right..."why drink if you aren't getting drunk?" I have never understood how and why someone sits down & has one or two drinks with dinner & stops. Weird. Lol.
@KIR-How are you doing today?
@Canguy-how is Tokyo? Are you ok???
@FaithfulandFree-thanks for the kind words. :-) How are you doing today?
@Blackbird-how are you? Are you feeling better? I'm sorry you drank. Don't beat yourself up. It's not worth it. Can you pinpoint where you derailed? Any more tools you can add to your chest? Thinking about you!
@Snowvelvet-56 days!!! Yay!
@Ultradad-I understand how you feel. Alcohol is everywhere! I often feel like I'm being left out & wish I could drink like a normal person but I can't & it's ok. Out of all the diseases to have, alcoholism is the only one that you can put into remission just by not drinking. :-)
@Jemma-enjoy your family time & ski time!
@Patricia-how are you feeling? Did you get your AV to shut up?
@Dee-I agree with you...New Years is just another day & personally...I think it's over-rated!
New Years Eve: everyone is in their finest clothes, looking nice, smiling & laughing as they chug their alcohol...5-4-3-2-1....the countdown to the New Year. People like us won't remember it. Even many NON-alcoholics won't remember it! What they DON'T show in all those Facebook & Instagram photos are the people stumbling down the road, passed out in the bathroom, vomiting, make-up running down their faces, handcuffs on their hands because they just got arrested for driving drunk or public intoxication...etc...
New Years Day: (they don't show this on Facebook or Instagram either). More vomiting. Lost wallets, purses, cars, money, clothes, shoes etc. Horrible headaches. Lost memories because of a blackout. Waking up in a hospital or jail cell. Mysterious bruises. Anxiety. Depression. Confusion. Shame. Guilt. Embarrassment. Etc.
What you are going to see if you log onto Facebook or Instagram over the next few days: it's gonna look like EVERYONE on the planet EXCEPT you is smiling, laughing, drinking & having a blast! It's a LIE! It's not that fun! What you see on FB is not real life. I plan to NOT log on to FB for a few days b/c my AV will use it to trigger me.
Sooooo....I hope you all are having a great day. I'm planning to lay low for the next few days & watch sports & eat good food! I'll be checking in here a lot too!
Just remember...don't drink! You will REGRET it!
If I missed anyone...HELLO!!! :-)
didnt make it tonight, but dont think anyone really thought I would...thing I love about this group is honesty...some have it, some dont.
.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I have faith in everybody ultradad - I believe anyone can get sober and stay that way.
Everyone 'has it'.
I think you're making a mistake giving the AV this much power
it's really not a sentient being or anything, it's just a reaction, a response.
It needs your legs to go get get the booze and you arms to carry the booze, and your mouth to open to pour the booze into.
You can absolutely refuse to cooperate at any point from the the initial though.
Your AV may not like it and it may throw a tantrum, but I think all of us are worth a little discomfort.
The more you disengage from the AV - the more you refuse to enter into a dialogue with this primal urge, the stronger you will get.
I promise
It's all down to what you're prepared to do to make recovery happen.
you're being a bit cryptic tho -
do you mean you drank?
D
Everyone 'has it'.
I think you're making a mistake giving the AV this much power
I keep trying to come up with a plan, but my AV must be a super AV on steroids because it keeps talking me into drinking!
It needs your legs to go get get the booze and you arms to carry the booze, and your mouth to open to pour the booze into.
You can absolutely refuse to cooperate at any point from the the initial though.
Your AV may not like it and it may throw a tantrum, but I think all of us are worth a little discomfort.
The more you disengage from the AV - the more you refuse to enter into a dialogue with this primal urge, the stronger you will get.
I promise
It's all down to what you're prepared to do to make recovery happen.
you're being a bit cryptic tho -
didnt make it tonight, but dont think anyone really thought I would...thing I love about this group is honesty...some have it, some dont.
D
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by ultradad
KiKi, you rock! didnt make it tonight, but dont think anyone really thought I would...thing I love about this group is honesty...some have it, some dont. .
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,174
Actually I'm going to have to start again.....have some water.....will go out for some take out dinner later. The bed's okay, it's quiet and cool.
It's a shite way to live your life. I'd give anything for the peace they all talk about.....but nobody can give it to you can they?
Head down for a couple of hours and check back in here later.
All the best people.....really admire you've who have made it through, its an achievement.
It's a shite way to live your life. I'd give anything for the peace they all talk about.....but nobody can give it to you can they?
Head down for a couple of hours and check back in here later.
All the best people.....really admire you've who have made it through, its an achievement.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I don;t think it's out of reach of anyone Can - it really comes down to committing to do whatever it takes not to drink again.
Some of us, like me, took a while to get there, but get there I did
I just kept adding more and more things I said I'd never do - I changed my social life, I joined up here, I looked to other ways to deal with the things I was self medicating for...slowly but surely I got to the point where I knew I'd taken my last drink.
D
D
Some of us, like me, took a while to get there, but get there I did
I just kept adding more and more things I said I'd never do - I changed my social life, I joined up here, I looked to other ways to deal with the things I was self medicating for...slowly but surely I got to the point where I knew I'd taken my last drink.
D
D
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 123
Hi Kiki, D, Blackbird, Patricia, Canguy and everyone else. Back on my phone, so hard to summarise.
I'm doing ok. The dead days between Christmas and NYE are odd. Lack of routine is hard. All I know is that today I don't want to drink. I'm lucky that my AV has shut up. Of course, it may start again. For the moment though, I have it gagged and cowering in the corner. I won't feed it. I know I will get nothing from drinking. Other than pain and misery.
Thankfully, depression and anxiety is also non-existent. How strange that what I thought was my cure for so long was the cause. Naïveté.
Canguy, I hope you get some sleep. I'm thinking of you. If it was that easy, we would never have taken it to the depths we did.
Take care all. Day 57. We CAN do this. We're losing nothing and gaining everything.
I'm doing ok. The dead days between Christmas and NYE are odd. Lack of routine is hard. All I know is that today I don't want to drink. I'm lucky that my AV has shut up. Of course, it may start again. For the moment though, I have it gagged and cowering in the corner. I won't feed it. I know I will get nothing from drinking. Other than pain and misery.
Thankfully, depression and anxiety is also non-existent. How strange that what I thought was my cure for so long was the cause. Naïveté.
Canguy, I hope you get some sleep. I'm thinking of you. If it was that easy, we would never have taken it to the depths we did.
Take care all. Day 57. We CAN do this. We're losing nothing and gaining everything.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 734
Great post Kiki, puts it into perspective the reality of what would actually happen rather than the romanticizing thoughts your AV would have you consider for that first drink of many, we all know just how bad that would be tomorrow and further down the line, I'd be lying if I said I had no thoughts of drinking and possibly it would be ok, as I was drifting off last night I had a feeling of sudden dread at the thought of taking the first drink and where it would inevitably lead to again - any thoughts are met immediately of where it leads too and what's on the line - I just play the tape of the out of control me and its enough to put any thoughts of it being a good idea to bed.
Original plan was at a party tonight but that's been cancelled and just staying in at our friends house we are visiting instead, playing games with the kids etc, others will have a few drinks but I know that is not an option for me no matter what, day 47 today and no way I'm starting 2016 on Day 1 with regrets and a feeling of letting myself down !!!
Hope everyone has a good and sober NYE whatever your plans are.
Original plan was at a party tonight but that's been cancelled and just staying in at our friends house we are visiting instead, playing games with the kids etc, others will have a few drinks but I know that is not an option for me no matter what, day 47 today and no way I'm starting 2016 on Day 1 with regrets and a feeling of letting myself down !!!
Hope everyone has a good and sober NYE whatever your plans are.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,551
Kiki, I invited it all into my home when i offered to host christmas. My heart was in the right place but i was not putting my sobriety first, which is essential in the early days/ months. My fault. Should have known better. I'll be back at a week in 2 days... I find a small victory in that. I messed up, but I'm not going to let it ruin me or stop me trying for the lifelong commitment. Returning to my old ways of binging alone every couple days was and is a very real and scary possibility.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,551
Originally Posted by ultradad
KiKi, you rock!
didnt make it tonight, but dont think anyone really thought I would...thing I love about this group is honesty...some have it, some dont.
.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,551
Originally Posted by RedAndy
Great post Kiki, puts it into perspective the reality of what would actually happen rather than the romanticizing thoughts your AV would have you consider for that first drink of many, we all know just how bad that would be tomorrow and further down the line, I'd be lying if I said I had no thoughts of drinking and possibly it would be ok, as I was drifting off last night I had a feeling of sudden dread at the thought of taking the first drink and where it would inevitably lead to again - any thoughts are met immediately of where it leads too and what's on the line - I just play the tape of the out of control me and its enough to put any thoughts of it being a good idea to bed.
Original plan was at a party tonight but that's been cancelled and just staying in at our friends house we are visiting instead, playing games with the kids etc, others will have a few drinks but I know that is not an option for me no matter what, day 47 today and no way I'm starting 2016 on Day 1 with regrets and a feeling of letting myself down !!!
Hope everyone has a good and sober NYE whatever your plans are.
Original plan was at a party tonight but that's been cancelled and just staying in at our friends house we are visiting instead, playing games with the kids etc, others will have a few drinks but I know that is not an option for me no matter what, day 47 today and no way I'm starting 2016 on Day 1 with regrets and a feeling of letting myself down !!!
Hope everyone has a good and sober NYE whatever your plans are.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,551
Originally Posted by snowvelvet
Hi Kiki, D, Blackbird, Patricia, Canguy and everyone else. Back on my phone, so hard to summarise.
I'm doing ok. The dead days between Christmas and NYE are odd. Lack of routine is hard. All I know is that today I don't want to drink. I'm lucky that my AV has shut up. Of course, it may start again. For the moment though, I have it gagged and cowering in the corner. I won't feed it. I know I will get nothing from drinking. Other than pain and misery.
Thankfully, depression and anxiety is also non-existent. How strange that what I thought was my cure for so long was the cause. Naïveté.
Canguy, I hope you get some sleep. I'm thinking of you. If it was that easy, we would never have taken it to the depths we did.
Take care all. Day 57. We CAN do this. We're losing nothing and gaining everything.
I'm doing ok. The dead days between Christmas and NYE are odd. Lack of routine is hard. All I know is that today I don't want to drink. I'm lucky that my AV has shut up. Of course, it may start again. For the moment though, I have it gagged and cowering in the corner. I won't feed it. I know I will get nothing from drinking. Other than pain and misery.
Thankfully, depression and anxiety is also non-existent. How strange that what I thought was my cure for so long was the cause. Naïveté.
Canguy, I hope you get some sleep. I'm thinking of you. If it was that easy, we would never have taken it to the depths we did.
Take care all. Day 57. We CAN do this. We're losing nothing and gaining everything.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 678
New Years's Eve check-in....39 days sober and no regrets other than I wish I could have made this stick on previous attempts at sobriety. I joined SR in December 2012 so this ain't my first rodeo! I think it took the past 3 years and multiple failed attempts to figure out what I really want from life and what it would take to get there. I think many of us often overlook that alcohol is only part of the problem and that we are probably using in order to bury or deal with deeper issues, although of course using is more aligned to burying than dealing. Anyways, you won't here of me relapsing or joining another class this time around. Something is fundamentally different in my motivation, support, and attitude this time. I'll be in this for the long haul so we'd better get used to each other!!
Have a safe and happy new year everyone! Starting the year sober is going to lead to great things.
Have a safe and happy new year everyone! Starting the year sober is going to lead to great things.
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