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Class of November 2015 Part 7

Old 12-29-2015, 02:57 PM
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I'm in Tokyo. Again. Anything to escape it back there. Tokyo for pissheads is heaven. Everyone's drunk after five....beer is a softdrink here....the dispenser in the little room at the end of the hall gives ya a 1/2 litre can of Asahi for coins. Nothing opens before 11, so breakfast is lunch.....the girls in the bars are great....they teach you how to order..sumimasen, ...futahtasu Carlsberg kudasasai....anoshtono....kampai...hai!
Then go shopping. The malls are huge, endless mazes that go from one train station to the next. And there's this.......any shop you into you can just look. Nobody hassles you to buy. If you're interested they'll step in to help. Take your shoes off if going into the try on cubicle. Always be prepared to take your shoes off. In japan, have elastic sided pull on shoes. You're constantly taking off your ******* shoes. However drunk you are....don't go for a **** in your shoes. Its disgusting.

Okay.....so now we're hungry right, lugging all those bags around all day, on and off the Yanomote line. Food....anything you like. But first you have to pick it out of the tank and kill it. Everyone cheers and its carried off into the kitchen. Japanese people love killing fish. Actually, they eat them alive....but that was another place.

Japan is very expensive. But the quality of everything is way better.....the clothes you buy will last a bit longer than the first couple of washes. Everyone is incredibly polite but never forget that you're a gaijin.....just a lost sad euro dude going back to a Shibuya hotel room for some more Asahi and a few hours flicking through the mad, mad....television

Thought I'd share a small travelogue with my classmates as a change from the usual sad / desperate / guilty / inspirational postings.

Probably be banned....
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Old 12-29-2015, 03:08 PM
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Apparently you're still struggling through the holidays Canguy. I'm so sorry. I wish I could help you with your pain and anger, but it's something that you have to work through alone. Have you seen a therapist? I know you have a lot of loss, but is the alcohol helping at all? It sounds like it's not solving the deeper problem either. Well, we are here for you and I'm hoping that in time none of us will be sounding sad, desperate or guilty.
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Old 12-29-2015, 03:31 PM
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Canguy, I hope I don't sound rude. But I also notice that there are more people drinking since I stopped drinking myself.

Last Summer I went to Toronto, it seemed like they had a liquor store in every corner. Liquor at the airport. Flight attendants pushing trays full of those little bottles...everywhere!

My tiny town in the middle of nowhere has two pubs and two liquor stores...and I swear the principal at my son's school was tipsy during the Christmas concert...

I don't know, I think we notice it more since we stopped drinking. Or maybe we pay attention more. Or maybe it's the AV, hey look! Everybody is drinking but you!

I honestly don't know how to deal with it. The only reason I didn't drink during my last trip to the big city was because I was terrified of having a blackout at the airport and get arrested or something awful like that.

I live a very secluded life in my little town and even then it's hard not to think about drinking when I walk by the liquor store...

But nothing good comes out of that bottle, I can promise you that
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Old 12-29-2015, 04:43 PM
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Yeah, I was referred to a 'clinical psychologist'. Every Wednesday afternoon I'd be ushered into her room, shown the seat. She was a nice middle aged lady with pictures on the wall that her kids had drawn. Her advice to me was that all my thoughts were just 'clouds'....or maybe 'balloons'. Just let go......let the balloons go, the clouds pass ......'mindfulness'

I laughed. It was pathetic. I told her, you wouldn't want to close your eyes and see what I see. You just couldn't get it across to her that it wasn't all some kind of bad dream that can be forgotten......she didn't like me, I was an alcoholic failed father with a dead baby and she, like the rest of world, sides with the mother. You are treated as though its something you did.

Anyway.
Through all of this my father died and I walked in and out of lawyers offices, I signed papers and became a rich guy. This is how I wind up wandering around Tokyo at night with tired bar girls who didn't pull a punter tonight. Breakfast is coffee and anything covered in sugar. These girls don't eat food.

I do tho. I go to eat under the Shinjuku railway station. They do miso soup and pig offal on sticks. It's delicious.....washed down with Japan's dark black beer....the one they don't export.

Kampai








I
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Old 12-29-2015, 04:44 PM
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Off to bed guys and gals!

Reading some good stuff on here tonight. Thank's for all your advice Dee, it truly does help.

Thank's for sharing some interesting aspects of your travels Canguy, I enjoyed it.

See ya'll in the morning!
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Old 12-29-2015, 04:46 PM
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Hey classmates... I'm back and starting all over (day 2). I joined the class of December but would still like to check in and keep up with you guys.

I would like to especially thank Kiki...Your kind heart shines through the web and you're support doesn't go unnoticed.
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Old 12-29-2015, 04:48 PM
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Not all psychologists or therapists are great canguy, but there are good ones, and help is there.

I can;t make you do anything, but anything's got to be better than trying to drink the pain away.
You'll never do that.

It's tragic what happened to you - don't make it more tragic.

D
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Old 12-29-2015, 05:07 PM
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Perhaps the therapist sucked and you can find one that works for you? Do they have AA there?
I know you lost a baby and your wife. That's a pain that we as parents aren't supposed to bear because we are supposed to die first, but it happens. It is heartbreaking, but it happens.
Now you're at a point where you can let that loss destroy the rest of your life or find a way to heal. You'll never forget the loss of your baby, but you can still live a full and happy life. Please stop punishing yourself. You're not responsible for the loss of your baby. Drinking to ease the pain just won't work Canguy!
You obviously have the resources to get quality help, I hope you decide you're worth using some of that $$ to get the help you need. We think you're worth it!
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Old 12-29-2015, 06:18 PM
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A little after holiday stomach bug. Fun stuff. Been sleeping all day long. will have to catch up later. Keep on staying sober.
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Old 12-29-2015, 06:48 PM
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I love visiting Asia too Canguy. I've had some memorable trips to Tokyo, Yokohama, Kyoto, Jeju Island, Seoul, and Beijing, to name a few of the better places. These can also be very DANGEROUS places for hard drinking foreigners - I'm amazed I made it out alive of some of those places. Whatever you're up to, just be careful. There's a better life out there for you, otherwise you wouldn't be on here with the rest of us.
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Old 12-29-2015, 08:10 PM
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Originally Posted by SoberMarathon View Post
I love visiting Asia too Canguy. I've had some memorable trips to Tokyo, Yokohama, Kyoto, Jeju Island, Seoul, and Beijing, to name a few of the better places. These can also be very DANGEROUS places for hard drinking foreigners - I'm amazed I made it out alive of some of those places. Whatever you're up to, just be careful. There's a better life out there for you, otherwise you wouldn't be on here with the rest of us.
...well you know it's dangerous. It's what makes it fun. It's not as tho you're you're at home with wife and kids. My first trip to Tokyo I was carjacked.....you had no idea where you were being taken or for what for.
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Old 12-29-2015, 08:45 PM
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Originally Posted by canguy View Post
...well you know it's dangerous. It's what makes it fun. It's not as tho you're you're at home with wife and kids. My first trip to Tokyo I was carjacked.....you had no idea where you were being taken or for what for.
Well I guess I'm feeling like I've used up the majority of my '9 lives' and am just grateful I'm still here to talk about them. When I think about the danger I've put myself through as a result of booze-fueled thrill-seeking, I'm not proud of it. Yes, I've lived, seen and done some crazy crap, remember some events better than others, and some things still haunt me to this day. I wish I had something more motivational to say beyond that I'm glad I'm passed those crazy nights but that's all I have. That's all part of my past now and I feel like I wouldn't give up sobriety for anything at the moment. Surely life is capable of changing that mindset in a flash but at least if I'm sober today than I'll have a chance at living tomorrow...
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Old 12-29-2015, 09:21 PM
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Evening, All.

Canguy, your posts worry me. As KIR said, I hope you can use the money you have and find a better therapist - from what I heard it takes a few tries and the one you described sounded pretty awful. Please take care of yourself.

KIR, I'm glad that you have a plan for while your husband is away this time. Keep SR close! You can do it!

Blackbird, thank you for checking in! I'm sorry to hear you are sick but I hope you recover soon.

To everyone else, I hope you are well! Time to call it a night here.
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Old 12-30-2015, 02:49 AM
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Hello all - I have family here, so not really able to post a lot. There are a few posts building though.

Still sober. Day 56.

Please take care all. Some of the posts are now becoming very real and emotive, now that first flush of elation at being sober has worn off. We all drank for a reason. Keep going. SV X
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Old 12-30-2015, 03:05 AM
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Hi Canguy... seems like you are on the edge at the moment. Hold on for dear life and crawl back on the ledge with us all please.

I have been trying to read some of your older posts and threads to understand a bit more about what you are going through. You mentioned once about going to your son's sportsday. Is he with you in Tokyo or in US? If you don't mind me asking....

Take care of yourself.
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Old 12-30-2015, 03:35 AM
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Originally Posted by SoberMarathon View Post
I love visiting Asia too Canguy. I've had some memorable trips to Tokyo, Yokohama, Kyoto, Jeju Island, Seoul, and Beijing, to name a few of the better places. These can also be very DANGEROUS places for hard drinking foreigners - I'm amazed I made it out alive of some of those places. Whatever you're up to, just be careful. There's a better life out there for you, otherwise you wouldn't be on here with the rest of us.
Oh yes! I have not been to Japan, but I have been in Beijing, Seoul and Jeju Island (to name a few ). It's crazy. The Soju is so cheap in South Korea. I have nice memories from these locations just because someone kept an eye on me. I even remember having a bottle of Soju (rice liquor) in my sleeping bag, trying to get away with it. Don't know where I would have ended up if I was alone. Please don't let it get you Canguy. It's all false promises.
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Old 12-30-2015, 03:40 AM
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Up early and enjoying that first cup of coffee! Scrolling through social media last night before bed and seems everyone is planning all these party's and all the alcohol pictures are already going around. It used to not bother me, but now it's a huge trigger! PLUS the realization of not having the extra paycheck is really setting in and adding more stress!!! I think I'm subconsciously setting my self up, but at least I can see it coming a mile away and hopefully combat it.

One of my best friends wan'ts to go camping/hiking over the weekend with our kids and he's admittedly behind me getting sober, but he brought and hid alcohol our last trip (my son told me) and it's always bothered me. Man, I wish I could just drink like a normal person!!!

Anyway, that's not me anymore and I can't bring that part of my life back...

Hope everyone has a great day!!!
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Old 12-30-2015, 04:13 AM
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I've been trying to keep up with everyone's posts, but have been very busy working and what little time left over, caring for my baby and house, and trying to see family in town. In the last 10 days, I only had Christmas Eve off. After today, I will finally have 4 days and be able to enjoy the "holidays." Of course, I am ready for the AV to start chirping.

I plan to hang out with my visiting nieces and do some outdoor activities, possibly snowboard, now that we finally got some snow and a local ski hill is open.

I would also love a nice steak dinner, so we shall see if the OH is down for that

Canguy please be careful. Though I haven't partied in Asia, I have become blackout drunk in several foreign countries and large US cities and like many of you, am lucky I had good dear friends with me, and lucky to be alive. I am thinking of you canguy. I hope you can pull out of this bender safely! We are here for you.
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Old 12-30-2015, 07:31 AM
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Well, the grog is lifting after a good 24 hour nap. My stomach was churning so much yesterday, now I can at least get down some coffee.

I guess it's fess up time. I made it all day on Christmas with my heavy drinking family. Stayed sober. When everyone went home except my mom, stepdad, and OH, (who were all happily buzzed) I began drinking wine. I had 2 bottles in about 2 hours. Not proud. I should have come here for support and I didnt.

So, as my trend goes, I'm supposed to begin binging alone at home within a day or two. But haven't and don't plan on it. Pushed remaining alcohol out of the house.

I always feel bad posting about my failures to remain sober. Worried that it might trigger others to do the same. It's not worth it to drink.
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Old 12-30-2015, 07:56 AM
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Originally Posted by ultradad View Post
Up early and enjoying that first cup of coffee! Scrolling through social media last night before bed and seems everyone is planning all these party's and all the alcohol pictures are already going around. It used to not bother me, but now it's a huge trigger! PLUS the realization of not having the extra paycheck is really setting in and adding more stress!!! I think I'm subconsciously setting my self up, but at least I can see it coming a mile away and hopefully combat it.

One of my best friends wan'ts to go camping/hiking over the weekend with our kids and he's admittedly behind me getting sober, but he brought and hid alcohol our last trip (my son told me) and it's always bothered me. Man, I wish I could just drink like a normal person!!!

Anyway, that's not me anymore and I can't bring that part of my life back...

Hope everyone has a great day!!!
Hey Ultra-sounds like your AV voice is talking again! I feel a little pull in my stomach when I'm reading a book and they talk about having a drink. It's weird how our culture revolves around so much drinking. On TV you see it as the normal when people come home after a stressful day.
Anyway, it sounds like you're going to be going through some stresses over the next few months. Do you plan on doing them sober? You know we just can't drink like normal people. I so wish I could, but I think accepting that is the key to our survival.
If you decide to go camping maybe you can ask your friend not to sneak alcohol?
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