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Class of November 2015 Part 7

Old 12-28-2015, 09:31 AM
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Ultra-
I'm glad you and your wife were able to get rid of the beer and enjoy yourself and your children. Your AV sure tends to use your wife to manipulate your way to a drink! That is certainly something the sober you should be aware of!
The new year starts today!!!!
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Old 12-28-2015, 01:06 PM
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Good morning everybody! You all seem to be doing so well! I'm proud of this group and how supportive everyone is. Keep on keeping on!

I'm a huge bookworm, and I ran across a quote the other day about alcoholism that I thought was so true. "First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you." -F. Scott Fitzgerald
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Old 12-28-2015, 03:56 PM
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Originally Posted by learntofly View Post
Good morning everybody! You all seem to be doing so well! I'm proud of this group and how supportive everyone is. Keep on keeping on! I'm a huge bookworm, and I ran across a quote the other day about alcoholism that I thought was so true. "First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you." -F. Scott Fitzgerald
I love that and it's sooooo true! The drink will take us & our lives if we let it!
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Old 12-28-2015, 03:57 PM
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@Patricia-you doing ok now? I'm sorry your husband is being a jerk again. Keep your power! Don't let him drag you down. If he wants to be miserable let him. You don't have to let him suck you into it! Have you tried killing him with kindness? Have you tried just smiling and saying thank you when he's rude? Make a game out of it! That will just **** him off more when he sees he doesn't get to you.

For example: if he says "Patricia, you are an idiot and never do anything right!" Just smile and say "why thank you dear, I love you too!"

After a few times he will stop because he will start to get angry that he's not getting a reaction out of you.

Worth a try?
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Old 12-28-2015, 04:30 PM
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Originally Posted by KiKi0615 View Post
@Patricia-you doing ok now? I'm sorry your husband is being a jerk again. Keep your power! Don't let him drag you down. If he wants to be miserable let him. You don't have to let him suck you into it! Have you tried killing him with kindness? Have you tried just smiling and saying thank you when he's rude? Make a game out of it! That will just **** him off more when he sees he doesn't get to you.

For example: if he says "Patricia, you are an idiot and never do anything right!" Just smile and say "why thank you dear, I love you too!"

After a few times he will stop because he will start to get angry that he's not getting a reaction out of you.

Worth a try?
I don't think he's ever going to change Kiki. He's just too miserable and he believes that the whole world is against him. Very immature I know...

I just don't say anything. I go about my day with a fake calm face and a fake smile...nothing last forever, this won't last forever. I have no idea what is going to happen but I think I got to a point where I have to surrender and let the Universe handle it...
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Old 12-28-2015, 04:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Fabat50 View Post
Hi, just checking in.. 50 days sober. Made it through Christmas.

How am I feeling? Fed up, feeling like I am missing out on something, cravings, serious cravings. I found the first week after I gave up excruciating... getting past 3/5/8 days was so hard. But then I seemed to sail through the next 5 weeks with no problems. And now this 7th week of sobriety is proving to be a real challenge, as much as week 1. I thought things were supposed to get easier.

How are you guys doing?
Hang in there fatbat. Im not sure what it is you feel you are missing out on but after 50 days im sure you have seen what you will be missing out on by giving in
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Old 12-28-2015, 06:57 PM
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Originally Posted by patricia68 View Post
I don't think he's ever going to change Kiki. He's just too miserable and he believes that the whole world is against him. Very immature I know... I just don't say anything. I go about my day with a fake calm face and a fake smile...nothing last forever, this won't last forever. I have no idea what is going to happen but I think I got to a point where I have to surrender and let the Universe handle it...
Ugh. He sounds like my brother n law! His wife is leaving him thank goodness. He's just a miserable human being!

Just keep focusing on getting better so you have choices ya know? I'm praying 4 u!
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Old 12-28-2015, 07:04 PM
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Originally Posted by KiKi0615 View Post
Ugh. He sounds like my brother n law! His wife is leaving him thank goodness. He's just a miserable human being!

Just keep focusing on getting better so you have choices ya know? I'm praying 4 u!
Thank you Kiki. I'm trying. Today was a tough day. My AV was screaming, but I didn't drink. Dee once said that the more you ignore your AV the more quiet it gets..
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Old 12-28-2015, 07:35 PM
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Just hanging at work. Hard to get back into the swing of things after being off for a week. I got in a good workout today, but spoiled it with chocolate just now :feeling pretty down lately. Hoping daily exercise will do the trick.
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Old 12-28-2015, 08:09 PM
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between 60 and 90 days can be rough - long enough to forget the bad parts of drinking but too soon to really see the best parts of sober living yet.

Hang in there tho guys

I've posted this several times I know but its great for dealing with cravings

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
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Old 12-28-2015, 08:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
between 60 and 90 days can be rough - long enough to forget the bad parts of drinking but too soon to really see the best parts of sober living yet. Hang in there tho guys I've posted this several times I know but its great for dealing with cravings http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
During my two longest sobriety stints since I have been trying to give up drinking, I ended up relapsing during the 60-90 day window. I don't have a solution but will vouch for this being a tough time for some, including me. Gotta just have patience, determination, and believe in ourselves that we can make it and find true happiness in sobriety.
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Old 12-28-2015, 08:23 PM
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One comment before calling it a day: I just love that I'm not cruising from drink to drink these days. The amount of alcohol I would have normally consumed this month, with the holidays and all that goes along with them, makes me sick to think about it. I haven't touched a drop and have no plans to. Done with that life...there truly is a better alternative!
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Old 12-28-2015, 08:54 PM
  # 413 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by tatersalad View Post
Hang in there fatbat. Im not sure what it is you feel you are missing out on but after 50 days im sure you have seen what you will be missing out on by giving in
Fat at- I have experienced the same thing, but it's slowly getting better. At 50 days today and not thinking of alcohol at all, but that's all subject to change. They say it gets easier. I believe that or else everybody on SR would still be drinking! Hang in there.
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Old 12-28-2015, 08:58 PM
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Originally Posted by SoberMarathon View Post
During my two longest sobriety stints since I have been trying to give up drinking, I ended up relapsing during the 60-90 day window. I don't have a solution but will vouch for this being a tough time for some, including me. Gotta just have patience, determination, and believe in ourselves that we can make it and find true happiness in sobriety.
Now I'm worried about the 60-90 day window! I guess I have 9 days and then the real fight begins?!
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Old 12-28-2015, 10:00 PM
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Hi KIR, I think that the 60-90 day window catches people who don't have a plan off guard. You are here and are dedicated to your sobriety. You know the AV may pipe up at a moment's notice, which is what you need to be prepared for. You know how to ride the craving through. We've had the discussion about PAWS, and the 60-90 day period is when that can start to occur. But remember, it may only be a day or two at a time. NOTHING compared to the 24/7 hell that drinking was. Just stay close to us and you will make it through!

Quick check in tonight. Had a great day. To those who struggled today I hope you are doing a bit better. I'm glad you posted here and I hope that gave you strength.

Ultra, I'm glad you shared what happened on the camping trip. My AV would do the same thing. I'd decide I was going to drink, so I'd plan to buy a bottle of wine. But then while in the store I'd be wandering the aisle and my AV would say, "well you know just one bottle won't really be enough, you should buy a beer too just to be safe" even though I knew that meant a major hangover vs a manageable hangover. Yep, the AV always won that battle. And sometimes I even drove to buy even more alcohol after drinking that first bottle of wine. Have you thought about putting a sober plan together? It sounds like your wife is supportive and that is great!

Okay, I need to calm down and get to sleep! Talk to you all soon!
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Old 12-28-2015, 10:50 PM
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That's great Patricia! If you drink you will give your husband power. It's literally like you drinking poison and expecting your husband to die. Or saying "screw you, I'll hurt ME!" I almost did that the day before yesterday. But NO!!! I told my AV where to go!

Keep going...don't quit before the miracle happens!!! :-)
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Old 12-29-2015, 12:20 AM
  # 417 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Keepnitreal View Post
Now I'm worried about the 60-90 day window! I guess I have 9 days and then the real fight begins?!
I didn't mean to worry anyone

I got through the 60-90 day period and so did thousands of others here on SR.

When I said it can be rough, I was speaking generally - personally, I found 60-90 way less hard than the first 30 days

The bottom line is don't take that first drink

D
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Old 12-29-2015, 12:37 AM
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Originally Posted by Keepnitreal View Post
Fat at- I have experienced the same thing, but it's slowly getting better. At 50 days today and not thinking of alcohol at all, but that's all subject to change. They say it gets easier. I believe that or else everybody on SR would still be drinking! Hang in there.
I am laughing so hard.. just what I need. My pseudo Fabat50 is meant to communicate that I am going to be Fabulous at 50 (now in my 49th year) Fabulous in terms of sober, slimmer, healthier and happier.
You two last posters have me down as "Fatbat". We have an expression here about " old bats" which means miserable old women. And then you refer to me as "Fat at" Which is exactly what I don't want. Don't worry... you are not the first posters to change my name. But you have made me laugh hard this morning on waking up so THANK YOU! Lots of love from "The Fat old Bat" xx
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Old 12-29-2015, 12:50 AM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
between 60 and 90 days can be rough - long enough to forget the bad parts of drinking but too soon to really see the best parts of sober living yet.

Hang in there tho guys

I've posted this several times I know but its great for dealing with cravings

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
I just read through this link Dee.. very helpful thanks, lots of great tips.

One of the things I have been doing when I get a craving, that I wanted to share, is to connect here on SR and participate in some of the interactive word threads. Some are easy some are more challenging. I find that it is a light hearted way to kill some time, a healthy distraction and is a great way to continue to feel connected to members without getting embroiled in some of the "heavier" threads.

Last edited by Fabat50; 12-29-2015 at 12:51 AM. Reason: spelling
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Old 12-29-2015, 01:50 AM
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Morning all, must say that reading thro and hearing of others experiences and what is to be expected certainly does help so much, to be forewarned of the 60 to 90 day window and be prepared / expect a chance of a few rough days is definitely helpful.

In the end being around all the drinking yesterday didn't bother me at all, got myself a bit worked up before I went but no need, I ordered a 750 ml bottle of sparkling water as the first round was placed and sat chatting before ordering a meal - I was extremely thirsty so drank that in the same manner I would have done the first few pints - and then needed the loo more than those drinking !! Family I was with had 1 or 2 drinks each - had I been drinking it would have turned it to a completely different day as it would have been at least 10 pints in the time we were there, saw one lad out of it but realised that not many were in anyway shape or form drunk, I always thought that everybody was in the same state as me when there !!

To be honest quite often I would have ditched the second half of the match to carry on drinking and watched it on the tv in the lounge (you can't take alcohol into the stands) - when not in the corporate have been known to leave the match at half time to carry on drinking and smoking weed etc - the event just became a distraction for getting smashed - that's all it was about in the end.
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