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Class of November 2015 Part 7

Old 12-26-2015, 07:17 AM
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Hello everybody, big xmas party at my house in 3 hours. My mom, stepdad, and sister will be here in an hour. I'm tidying up from yesterday's gift binge and preparing for the next. There will be a lot of alcohol here. Plan is to Just say no. Focus on kids and food Kik, I am pretty jealous of your self care weekend lol. Oh well. I will see 43 days on my ticker tomorrow.
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Old 12-26-2015, 07:51 AM
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Good morning!!!

So I just need to tell you all what my AV just whispered in my ear! It said:

"Kiki! You made it through Christmas & all the stress without drinking! You are gonna drive home today & your husband & kids are staying here at your in-laws! You could buy alcohol & cigarettes & drink & smoke a little while your driving home & then go to a pub & get DRUNK & no one would know!!!"

Yep! After 42 days without a drop of alcohol or a cigarette that's what my AV just said to me the day after Christmas! Ugh!

Feel free to scream at my AV for me!!!
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Old 12-26-2015, 08:11 AM
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Dear Kiki's AV: Shush. We don't want Kiki to feel panic and anxiety and self loathing. Alcohol makes us sick and miserable. It ruins our health and our lives. Shush AV. Shush!
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Old 12-26-2015, 09:08 AM
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Originally Posted by patricia68 View Post
Dear Kiki's AV: Shush. We don't want Kiki to feel panic and anxiety and self loathing. Alcohol makes us sick and miserable. It ruins our health and our lives. Shush AV. Shush!
Thank you Patricia! This helped! :-)
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Old 12-26-2015, 10:56 AM
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Kiki's AV: Your idea is stupid! Kiki has worked so hard over the last month and a half to NOT drink; why would she want to blow that now and deal with the guilt, self-loathing, and pain that would result??

I hope the craving has passed, Kiki!

Blackbird, I hope you make it through the day okay. Please check in here as you need to. 43 days is awesome!!
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Old 12-26-2015, 11:54 AM
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Evening... I'm afraid I didn't make it ... had a few days of drinking. .. not much, no hangovers or incidents. .. but I just couldn't make it.

I couldn't get on here one day, 23rd it was, no signal... so took that as a go ahead (thank's AV) and had a few beers. Not that much fun.. then just has pissy acidic wine with Xmas dinner as I just thought as I had thrown away the whole 26 days I had lost the battle....
A dear friend of old has jut been admitted to ICU with liver failure... touch and go. Jeez, that should be a lesson in itself.

Better pick up and start again, sighhhhhh....

Thanks KIR for asking about me... that means a lot...

Well done everyone on your successes, you should be proud of achieving sober Xmas. ... happy boxing day!
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Old 12-26-2015, 11:57 AM
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Hi Enfin, I'm glad you came right back and nothing bad happened while you drank. I hope you take this as a lesson learned and will stick with us. You made a lot of progress and do not have to throw that away. Glad you are back
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Old 12-26-2015, 12:00 PM
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Originally Posted by SwimKim12 View Post
Hi Enfin, I'm glad you came right back and nothing bad happened while you drank. I hope you take this as a lesson learned and will stick with us. You made a lot of progress and do not have to throw that away. Glad you are back
I just feel sad... I worked hard for those days then casually threw them away for nothing. .. no thing... no actual things, no amazing fun, no eye opening revelations. .. just nothing.

Sad and weak really... sorry guys.
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Old 12-26-2015, 12:02 PM
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Kiki... there's no point in giving in... it gains you absolutely nothing at all. Unless u like to feels sad and rubbish...
U have done so extremely well. ... keep it up!
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Old 12-26-2015, 12:43 PM
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Originally Posted by enfinthechange View Post
I just feel sad... I worked hard for those days then casually threw them away for nothing. .. no thing... no actual things, no amazing fun, no eye opening revelations. .. just nothing.

Sad and weak really... sorry guys.
Glad you're back with us Enfin! Sorry about your friend with the liver disease too...how old? Those stories are reminders to each of us! Which drink is the magic one that pushes us across that line and destroys our liver? Is it the next one? We all should remember that we have done some damage to our liver and brain cells, and we may need those brain cells in the future, so let's not waste them on a drink that brings sadness and misery!
blackbird- you've been doing so awesome! Hang tough today. I'm super proud of you.
Kiki-AV just shut up! Netflix is the answer!

Last edited by Keepnitreal; 12-26-2015 at 12:44 PM. Reason: Typo
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Old 12-26-2015, 12:57 PM
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Originally Posted by Keepnitreal View Post

Glad you're back with us Enfin! Sorry about your friend with the liver disease too...how old? Those stories are reminders to each of us! Which drink is the magic one that pushes us across that line and destroys our liver? Is it the next one? We all should remember that we have done some damage to our liver and brain cells, and we may need those brain cells in the future, so let's not waste them on a drink that brings sadness and misery!
blackbird- you've been doing so awesome! Hang tough today. I'm super proud of you.
Kiki-AV just shut up! Netflix is the answer!
He is 51 KIR, and drank special brew from morning till night, plus class a drugs whenever he could, smoked like a train ... anything he could get he did by the bucket load. ... not surprised really, but still sad. He isn't dead yet... but his future is bleak! Poor guy. ...
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Old 12-26-2015, 01:17 PM
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enfin, don't beat yourself up. Do take heed of your friend's problem, though. You learned of this just at the point of your slip? Pretty coincidental.

Please don't pick up a drink today. This little slip does not define you. Start again. I know you can do it.
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Old 12-26-2015, 01:34 PM
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Originally Posted by biminiblue View Post
enfin, don't beat yourself up. Do take heed of your friend's problem, though. You learned of this just at the point of your slip? Pretty coincidental.

Please don't pick up a drink today. This little slip does not define you. Start again. I know you can do it.
I think it's probably why I just thought sod it and drank, yes. ... but it was so ungratifying... so point less... and such a waste of my effort. I feel like a dead kipper... so flat. Just got to not drink and I can get back some boing and some pride!!!! Thanks bim x
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Old 12-26-2015, 01:56 PM
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@SwimKim, Patricia, Enfin & KIR:
Thanks for the reminder that alcohol sucks!!! I'm home now laying in the recliner watching TV. I'm soooo tired! I'm gonna take a nap & then get my favorite carryout for dinner tonite. And NETFLIX!!! Prison Break is soooo good!

***@Enfin, I'm so sorry you drank. I was worried about you when you said you went to the pub with your friends last week. More often than not alcoholics in early sobriety will probably slip after doing that. Our AV just screws with us! I remember how confident you sounded after successfully NOT drinking at the pub that night. You AV was probably plotting and planning without you knowing it. Grrrrr....

You did EXACTLY what I would have done had I gone to a pub this early in sobriety. I would have NOT drank anything at the pub with my friends but would have "rewarded" myself the next day (for not drinking) with alcohol. Ugh. Crazy, huh?

Don't beat yourself up! You have a disease. Can you avoid pubs at all costs for a period of time? Maybe the first year??? Are you using any tools in addition to SR?

Please stay with us! We really care about you! Post later & let us know how you are. (((Hug)))
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Old 12-26-2015, 03:16 PM
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Love prison break KIki! Enjoy
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Old 12-26-2015, 04:03 PM
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Originally Posted by enfinthechange View Post
I just feel sad... I worked hard for those days then casually threw them away for nothing. .. no thing... no actual things, no amazing fun, no eye opening revelations. .. just nothing.

Sad and weak really... sorry guys.
You didn't throw away those days. Those days are your victory! You proved yourself that you can be sober for 26 days!
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Old 12-26-2015, 04:05 PM
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Another tough day. My husband is crazy. How can someone have so many mood swings during the day and not be PMSing?! He's nice 5 minutes, nasty 5 minutes, yelling 5 minutes, and nice again for 5 minutes...

AV was very talkative but I listened to some positive thinking videos on Youtube instead.
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Old 12-26-2015, 04:26 PM
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I agree with Patricia Enfin! You didn't throw those days away! You proved you could stay sober that long! You haven't failed until you quit trying.

Patricia...ugh! Has your husband ever been evaluated for a mental illness? Does he drink or do any type of mind-altering substance? I'm so sorry you have to tolerate that! Hang in there!!! Don't give him any power! You've got this!
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Old 12-26-2015, 04:54 PM
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Originally Posted by KiKi0615 View Post
I agree with Patricia Enfin! You didn't throw those days away! You proved you could stay sober that long! You haven't failed until you quit trying.

Patricia...ugh! Has your husband ever been evaluated for a mental illness? Does he drink or do any type of mind-altering substance? I'm so sorry you have to tolerate that! Hang in there!!! Don't give him any power! You've got this!
No, he refuses to go see a Dr or couples counseling...it's always everybody else's fault...he says he's surrounded by incompetent people...yadda yadda....ugh
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Old 12-26-2015, 05:01 PM
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Originally Posted by patricia68 View Post
No, he refuses to go see a Dr or couples counseling...it's always everybody else's fault...he says he's surrounded by incompetent people...yadda yadda....ugh
Geeze! That sucks!!! Tell him your friend KiKi said to chill out!!!

Just ignore him!
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