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Class of November 2015 Part 7

Old 12-24-2015, 11:53 AM
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Originally Posted by RedAndy View Post
Distinctly similar path and timescale a year later I was a complete and utter mess embarrassing my parents in front of family and friends at church at the midnight service falling all over the place and having to be carried home after raiding the spirits cabinet at home whilst they were next door - 13 years old and like you the first of many years of getting in plenty of trouble through drink and drugs.

Just had to leave the family downstairs for a while and come out of the way - father in law and the wife now having a beer - first ones that have been in the house - FIL asking me I f want one and looking at it could neck it in one quite easily right now and keep going for the night - it's not going to happen but still making me feel pretty crap all the same. Trying as well to not let it show there's any issue in front of the in laws at the wife's request but her dads not stupid can see he's dying to say something.

Getting a take away curry so thinking I'll jump in the car and go for a drive for a bit to get out of here and go pick that up - altho as soon as I walk in I'll be asked if I want a beer whilst waiting and be around plenty of people enjoying a drink - arggghhh.
Hang in there! I just keep reminding myself that I'll hate myself in the morning if I take that first drink! You're the better person for being true to yourself and keeping those self promises. Maybe best to just come out and tell them something/anything so they'll stop tempting you, plus it'll keep you accountable. I use to tell people I had a long run planed the next day and couldn't drink and I also use to tell people that I found out I was allergic to alcohol and couldn't drink anymore...usually once people know you don't plan on drinking they'll stop asking.

We're all here making it through the next few days so keep checking back! I just had a HUGE craving and almost stopped to get some beer! Was joking with the wife about drinking today and who would of thought, but she's like, "Well, maybe a few would be nice" I got real terrified, excited and lot's of other emotions all I once!!! We sat in front of the store and talked it out and somehow drove away with no alcohol...crazy how fast my mind can turn from total sobriety for life to maybe one more try!

Feeling blessed to be back home sober and able to post here!
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Old 12-24-2015, 12:33 PM
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Redandy, hang in there! Just keep saying no thank you. No thank you, I feel better without it. Be firm. Don't worry about what they think. Take breaks if you need to. Get in the car and drive off if you have to. You can do it! Sobriety is the most important thing we all have and we need to protect it with all our might!
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Old 12-24-2015, 01:58 PM
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....bad day.
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Old 12-24-2015, 02:04 PM
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Hi everyone! I hope you're having a good day! I'm way out in the country with a bad cell phone connection but I just wanted to check in real quick Merry Christmas Eve!

Whatever you do...don't drink! We can ALL get thru the holidays together!!! Sober!!!

Xoxoxoxo
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Old 12-24-2015, 02:16 PM
  # 265 (permalink)  
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I hope everyone has a safe happy and sober time.

For anyone struggling - don't panic. Stop, breathe.

Take 5-10 minutes somewhere and block out a plan - think of your stresses and strains and think about ways to combat them.

Remember that SR is here - things may be a little slow, but there will be folks around.

There's no good reason to drink this Christmas.

If you have, dump that bottle and get back on the right road with us - make this a Christmas to remember
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Old 12-24-2015, 02:19 PM
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Thanks Ultradad/ SwimKim,

Got to agree re how quick the mind can change and then also back again - it's overwhelming but as we're seeing and getting used to it does pass and then back on top of things.

Took myself out of here went for a curry to a different take away where they don't sell alcohol and the wife came with me - they stopped after one drink !! Filled my face with some good food and all quiet again now and relaxed.

Glad to hear you managed to avoid buying the alcohol Ultra !!

Daughter currently sat singing at the side of me a little excited about the morning.

Have a good evening folks.
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Old 12-24-2015, 03:27 PM
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Thank's D!

That's beautiful Red!

Canguy, sorry to hear that.

Have a great one KiKI!
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Old 12-24-2015, 03:28 PM
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What's up, Canguy?

Day 50. Where has the time gone?

Have a lovely Christmas all.
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Old 12-24-2015, 03:59 PM
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Canguy, what's going on?

Pushing through the day here. I saw one of my childhood friends and met her one-year old daughter. Such a sweet girl. Of course lots of emotions and my reaction is to drink, drink, drink to numb them out. I've been drunk on Christmas Eve as long as I can remember, and hungover on Christmas as a result. Not much left in me to feel anything other than drunk or hangover. This year is different. Yes, it is hard. Feeling anxious. Just ate two bowls of granola and that helped. Don't want to drink but just not feeling well.

Sorry for the vent. I guess I'm here to say I'm not drinking, and if any of you are in similar situations please don't drink either. It won't help us. Today might not feel good sober, but we have a chance at a better tomorrow if we stay sober. Thank you all for being here.
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Old 12-24-2015, 04:04 PM
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Originally Posted by canguy View Post
....bad day.
You ok Canguy?

Andy-just hang in there. This sobriety gig isn't for the faint of heart.

Ultra- I'm just curious why your wife say that "maybe a few
Would be nice" knowing your history? Does she drink? Did she somehow think you could control it if you only bought a few and just wanted you to relax? I'm glad you two drove away empty handed!
I was given another bottle of Chardonnay today when I stopped in the office. I still have the bottle from last week in my wine rack along with Xmas Champagne for guests, so I gave the new bottle to an employee. I figured I had plenty of alcohol for company and I certainly don't need any.
I've been feeling pretty up the last few days, but I am nervous thinking one of those horrible days could hit at any second.
Today when I had a craving I just thought about something I did this summer after drinking wine with my friends at the beach (I drove buzzed), and I just re-play that image through because up until this past year I would NEVER drive if I had anything more then one glass of wine. This proved to me that I was in a downward spiral because I had had 3 glasses of wine at the beach. (It was over a few hours, but the fact remains that I was buzzed and crossed my line in the sand). What if I had got in an accident? What if I killed an innocent person, including my own child? Those thoughts quickly stop the cravings.
Do all of you have a terrible thought that you can use to help you get through your cravings??????
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Old 12-24-2015, 04:08 PM
  # 271 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by SwimKim12 View Post
Canguy, what's going on?

Pushing through the day here. I saw one of my childhood friends and met her one-year old daughter. Such a sweet girl. Of course lots of emotions and my reaction is to drink, drink, drink to numb them out. I've been drunk on Christmas Eve as long as I can remember, and hungover on Christmas as a result. Not much left in me to feel anything other than drunk or hangover. This year is different. Yes, it is hard. Feeling anxious. Just ate two bowls of granola and that helped. Don't want to drink but just not feeling well.

Sorry for the vent. I guess I'm here to say I'm not drinking, and if any of you are in similar situations please don't drink either. It won't help us. Today might not feel good sober, but we have a chance at a better tomorrow if we stay sober. Thank you all for being here.
My thoughts are with you Kim!
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Old 12-24-2015, 04:20 PM
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Hi KIR, yep, I've got lots of memories to keep me from drinking. I've made a fool of myself countless times while drunk, and more seriously, driven drunk many, many times. I want to bury my head in shame that I repeated that behavior so many times when I could have hurt or killed someone else. I hear on the news almost daily of DUI car accidents and my heart breaks for the person who now has to live with that the rest of their life. Ugh, makes me shudder just thinking about it. Never, ever again!
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Old 12-24-2015, 05:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Keepnitreal View Post
You ok Canguy?

Andy-just hang in there. This sobriety gig isn't for the faint of heart.

Ultra- I'm just curious why your wife say that "maybe a few
Would be nice" knowing your history? Does she drink? Did she somehow think you could control it if you only bought a few and just wanted you to relax? I'm glad you two drove away empty handed!
I was given another bottle of Chardonnay today when I stopped in the office. I still have the bottle from last week in my wine rack along with Xmas Champagne for guests, so I gave the new bottle to an employee. I figured I had plenty of alcohol for company and I certainly don't need any.
I've been feeling pretty up the last few days, but I am nervous thinking one of those horrible days could hit at any second.
Today when I had a craving I just thought about something I did this summer after drinking wine with my friends at the beach (I drove buzzed), and I just re-play that image through because up until this past year I would NEVER drive if I had anything more then one glass of wine. This proved to me that I was in a downward spiral because I had had 3 glasses of wine at the beach. (It was over a few hours, but the fact remains that I was buzzed and crossed my line in the sand). What if I had got in an accident? What if I killed an innocent person, including my own child? Those thoughts quickly stop the cravings.
Do all of you have a terrible thought that you can use to help you get through your cravings??????
Good questions KIR, so I asked her and she says that she has no doubts that I can't control my drinking, most times...but she always goes into it hoping I will. She's not an alcoholic, but can leave it or take it. She say's the idea that Christmas is tomorrow she figured I wouldn't drink so much that I'd ruin the kids Christmas. I think in reality she's very codependent and I've gotten very good throughout my addiction at convincing her that 'this' time will be different. Ultimately she knows better and tells me all the time that I'm the sweetest person, but after a certain amount of alcohol something switches in me and I become someone else, someone she doesn't love or wish to be around. Another thing I think that comes into play is that I'm a binge drinker and so I can go a couple of weeks with no issues, but when I drink, nine times out of ten it's to oblivion! Maybe after the weeks of sobriety she thinks I'm normal again or something...

Anyway, glad you got rid of the chardonnay, no reason to keep alcohol around for extra temptation!


Stay strong everyone!
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Old 12-24-2015, 05:26 PM
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Omg. In the last 4 minutes everything just went sideways. My husband and I just got in a huge fight and wanted to drink just to teach him! Yikes. I hate this. Now it's Christmas Eve and we are miserable. I'm glad my son is with his grandmother.
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Old 12-24-2015, 06:04 PM
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Ugh it's getting tough right now. I can do this! We can do this guys!
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Old 12-24-2015, 06:21 PM
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Hang in there, Patricia and KIR! Everyone's emotions are tense right now, just try to take it one minute at a time. You can do it!

Ultra, I had played the same kind of "convincing" game with my (not alcoholic) ex regarding being able to drink in moderation if I really wanted to. He enjoyed having a beer or two at functions and wanted me to be able to drink with him, so he would say the same thing, like let's just pick up a six pack for tonight, when unbeknownst to him that meant opening the floodgates for me. It may help to ask her to stay sober with you during this early period.

Hang in there, everyone!
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Old 12-24-2015, 06:39 PM
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KIR and Patricia, hang tuff! You both know that a single drink will lead to many more and you'll feel like crap the next morning, that's if you even make it to the next morning...sometimes we alcoholics don't make it. I know you're both strong enough, don't let outside forces take your serenity!

SwimKim, she would never drink if I didn't bring it up. ..so it's on me. She's actually my greatest supporter, I'm just really good at manipulating...I think most alcoholics are. Glad you're doing well tonight!
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Old 12-24-2015, 07:05 PM
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Thanks guys! I think I'll be ok. It's sooo frustrating. I made some lovely fresh halibut for dinner and he hardly complained about the smell of the spices. Arggggg. (The whole thing started because he doesn't like smells and was particularly bitchy about the cleaning agent the housekeeper used on the floor, and then he escalated that to the spices I was using this morning to make HIM food! Yikes!
Walking on egg shells or what?????
Anyway, I got out our Christmas puzzle a day early and we are quietly working on it.
Are we sure we have to wait 90 days to kill our spouse? I mean throw them out. Haha
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Old 12-24-2015, 07:07 PM
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Thanks guys, I'm ok, I just want to punch my husband in the face too
We can do this Keepnitreal! Deep breaths, we can do this!
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Old 12-24-2015, 07:33 PM
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You two crack me up : )

Glad things are better!!!

Breathe
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