Dee74

My family is a lot like that leshar - I fin ally accepted thats the way they are - I'm not a bad person - and I'm a lot better at asking for whatever it is I need these days.

I'm glad you'll be outa there soon tho

D

resolute50

A couple things I do know about people that are drinking.

1.) They are very inconsiderate of others needs.
2.) They think that their stories are more important than anybody else's.

And damn, if they don't repeat themselves 100 times.

I know from my own experiences.

resolute50

I actually like the man I've become over these last 2 1/2 years.
Better conversation with people.
Not afraid to take chances( but not fool hardy)
Bold at the work place when things are wrong and I have experience with the situation.
Getting the job done either at work or home...much less procrastination.
A general feeling or well....well being(better feeling in my own skin).

I like me now.
There's some more to work on, but now I can,

I look forward to 2016.
Not for what it brings. But, for what I can make it be.
God willing.

Thank you everybody here in my class.
You help me each and every day.
Best wishes for your New Year,

Dee74

great post Bob

D

resolute50

Says it all right here.

Leshar

Thank you so much, Dee and Bob. I feel I have friends here who get me and hear what I have to say.
I excused myself after dinner this evening, as everyone was drinking a lot and getting loud and silly. It was tiresome. I decided I didn't care if everyone thought I was a party pooper, I have to look after myself. I used to drink a lot with my family, in a vain attempt to fit in and be liked. What a fool I was.
Loved your post, Bob.

venuscat

You weren't a fool Leshar, you were doing what you needed to do at the time, and now you know another way.

I'm glad you excused yourself this evening; I would have done the same.
It can just be so hard to witness that kind of behaviour.

I like that we can make these kind of choices for ourselves now ~ it's one of the things that I like about sober venus.

And thank you Bob for your wonderful post. ♥

wehav2day

Bob, very cool post. I like you now too.

Leshar, I have family stuff too, it gets uncomfortable. We've mostly worked it out, but it saddens me to know my dad and I will probably never see eye to eye and he has no interest in knowing much about my life. They aren't overtly inconsiderate though. The one thing that seems similar to your experience though is that I tried so hard to fit in. I couldn't fit in like them, I'm different. The more I tried the harder it was to be myself.

After a couple of years of just being comfortable in my own skin come what may, it turned out I got some respect. I hope you know you are a pretty awesome person, who deserves to be herself and has earned respect.

Take care Julyers!

Leshar

Thank you, Venus and wehav, you're both lovely. I'm tired but can't sleep because my room is feet from the living room and it's very loud!

Soberwolf

Hoping they quieted down Leshar

Excellent post Bob

Hello Julyers

SoberLeigh

Hi, Julyers.

I feel as though I have missed so much.

I guess that I'll just jump in here.

Hope everyone is well.

Croissant

Bob, I love your posts above, God love Ya!xx Especially this little gem;

I think when we drink, we relinquish our role in taking responsibility for our own happiness. "It's all too hard, I'll have a drink", mentality. The very mentality that locks us into addiction and makes us dependant on alcohol, even when it's undeniably clear it's to our detriment!

What you posted above, I think has been one of the keys to making it this far, I have to own this and do this. Only I have the power to make my own happiness or unhappiness....and drinking does not make me the best person to accomplish those things.

9 months for me now, and counting doesn't scare me anymore, it signifies to me, a promise I need to keep. It actually feels longer than 9 months, only because I think it feels so right, like this is my life now. I can't imagine it any other way. (and I had a few practice runs too, I guess.)

Leshar, I hope you are ok, that raucous drinking sounded horrific. Mainly too because you feel not appreciated or welcomed by your family. I hope there were no thoughts of drinking to "fit in". Funny, I realised the other day that each period of extended "not talking" to my father was when I didn't drink. In fact, it wasn't until I started drinking, that I re-engaged contact with him. That to me spoke volumes and I'm glad I realised that. It reinforced my decision at Christmas and in fact that decision has further isolated me from family members that I had my "just one" at New Years last year with. Sometimes I think it's actually ok to acknowledge that some relationships simply poison our thought processes and the less air time we give them, the better.

Hi Leigh!xx

Soberwolf

Night gang

wehav2day

Night Wolfie.

Leshar, I hope you got some sleep and kept your confidence. You are wonderful the way you are. Drinking doesn't make us fit in, and even if it did the price of what it does to us ain't worth it.

Croissant, that's a very interesting correlation you have there! Guess it makes it easier to know what is right for you, not reaching out. Wow that's pretty clear.

letitgo

Great signature Soberwolf!

Happy new year to you all!!
Great insight Bob!
I met someone at AA and they want to help get me to step 5. I feel nervous trusting a complete stranger. However, maybe this is exactly what i need. No clue what to do

Have a great rest of your weekend!!

Leshar

Hi folks,
Croissant great post. Congratulations on 9 months!
The wedding was lovely. However, my brother was so hung over, he was a bit miserable and so we came home early and I missed the dancing which I would have liked. But I didn't want to cab it back to the hotel on my own.
I've not been tempted in the least by an abundance of alcohol all around me.
Let, did you do steps 1-4 already? Why someone new for step 5? Good luck with your decision.

wehav2day

Hey let, I met my sponsor here on sr. She was great. I had never met her in person but we were in a "class" together on here (until I had my relapse). We met by skype. It was great.

I dreaded the steps. I thought they "weren't for me." When I finally decided to do them mostly because I was sick of white knuckling and willing to try anything, I still took forever to do four. Then doing five was so wonderful and liberating, I practically breezed through the rest.

If you trust and like what the person has to sayin meetings, I say go for it. The steps set me free.

letitgo

His experiance was 1 and 2 were straight forward. Its best to move quickly which is how his sponsor did it with him.
I triped up on NYE. I didnt but i wasnt sober. I beginning to think maybe i do need to work the steps. At the very least they are a great moral compass. I can modify my own way also since its my program. Noone has ever been so helpful to reach out.
I need a virtual sponsor also..maybe we could do phone and email.

wehav2day

Let I think more tools you have the better. For me, the steps were a pain in the ass, I'm not gonna lie. But they truly saved my life. I'll have three years in February, and my previous record was six months.

I have said it before here, but it's true. I had to become willing to do things differently, and step waaaay out of my comfort zone for this to stick. I'm so glad I did. If you want to talk about it more, feel free to pm me any time. You can do this!

SnoozyQ

Hiya guys

Hope everyone is doing great

I just finished a very long busy day at work , but I don't mind . I'm really tired , I'll have an early night .

I'm ringing the detox each day as the liaison nurse hasn't got back to me yet.

I spoke to someone in charge and she said they are inundated with paperwork from Christmas / NY etc and I'm on the end of a long line :/

It is what it is. I'll keep ringing every day. I'm doing really well at the moment and I'm glad you went to that wedding Leshar, you're a smart cookie leaving early.

Let , I'm going to go to another meeting tomorrow night , I dont get much out of them, it's not really my thing. But got nothing to lose right.

Geez that step where I have to apologise is going to take months to get to the next step.

I'm glad you're committed and it works for you. Maybe if I got commited it would work for me ! Lol

Holly is driving to Kapunda now & I need to be distracted til she gets there . It's a worry when your baby can drive! I'm going to hire a house at Port Vincent on my birthday , not sure if I mentioned it last week.

I would love all my girls to come but we shall see.

I know Holly will for sure.

What's everyone up to ?

Love you all xxx