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Class of October 2015 Part 5

Old 12-15-2015, 07:39 PM
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Means a lot Grizz!! Thanks for the heartfelt welcome back... Feeling a lot better today after having my salad for lunch..nausea gone and I know my body and mind and know I will be back on the straight and narrow..
Glad I stopped when I did..i was almost 3 weeks sober again and that 3/4 week period seems to be an invisible line I dont seem to be able to cross.. So making my home totally drug&booze free is the only option this time.. My partner bought bottles of wine as he is giving these to his staff as xmas presents.. I ended up having one of those, if it wouldnt have been there I wouldnt have drunk...also this weed we ocassionally smoke just goes hand in hand with booze.. So enough of that crap as well... Blabbing on here.. But thanks for welcoming me back. I did have my tail between my legs for sure. Glad to have crossed that line now
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Old 12-16-2015, 04:44 AM
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Hi all!

I'm happy it's Wednesday. That means 1/2 way through this tough week. I'm going to make it!! The dizziness is still there but a little subsided. I hope it just goes away.

Everyone sounds good and so glad Sydneyman came back to the group. Glad you are feeling better and taking care of yourself. There's no need to put your tail between your legs with this group - we've all been there and totally understand how hard this is. I'm not going to comment on all my relapses (I have had countless ones) but since I'm sort of a one night binger it's the nature of the beast to have lots of day 1's. However, permanency is something I'm striving for as well. That word kind of scares me, but what it represents - freedom from alchohol - does not.

Snow.... yes, a bit of snow is nice. But I'm hoping for a mild winter this year. It can be difficult to manage with the kids and school and getting to work - 1 or 2 nice snow days would be nice!

For me, no triggers or thoughts of alcohol. Wondering if for me, the Campral took a while to really *work* and now it's really working? I don't know. It's just not even on the brain right now!

My daughter's 17th birthday is this coming weekend. I'm a little bit like a crazy person with all that I have to do, but since I can only do so much just doing what I can. The plan is to work and get in all or most of my hours this week. This coming weekend, celebrate her b'day and wrap all the xmas gifts. She requested this special pie for her birthday and it can only be bought in a special bakery in DC. I live outside the city and don't like going in very much. (Only for fun things and when I have to). They don't deliver the pies - you have to pick them up. And I looked on the map and it's in kind of a bad section of DC. So I made the decision - no - I'm not going to spend 2+ hours driving in and out of bad section of DC for a pie. She's going to have to suffer with gourmet cupcakes which I can order and have delivered to my office. Ah, the problems of teenagers.

In addition I have more shopping to do - last minute gifts, etc. I'll get through this! If I was drinking, I would be missing entire days due to hangovers. Wow, that's such a thought right now.

Take care everyone!
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Old 12-16-2015, 05:27 AM
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Hey all,Juno,the missed days is one of my biggest motivators! I can't miss anymore days cuz I'm drunk or hungover,many of those days I would lay in bed,on my phone looking at rubbish on YouTube, not eating,not showering, not spending time with my family, just not engaging in life period. Sydneyman,a drug/al free home is crucial to us,I won't let hubs keep any beer in the house,one time he left a beer in the fridge, I had a horrible day at work, came home put dinner away,saw the beer put it out of my mind......for a bit,the thought and mood started festering and I chugged it in less than 10 minutes, drove for more and it was done,so yeah,its banned,if he drinks its in the garage in a cooler,Grizzly, you sound happy😀 give me some of your Christmas spirit! I caught a cold from hubs so I'm not too chipper this morning, hello Midton,KeyofC,all others reading, hope we have an easy Wednesday😊
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Old 12-16-2015, 12:32 PM
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JUno you doing so well and you are super productive..Not like the bad old days right!
I am back to my normality/sobriety. Day 2 and back to my morning walk this morning, beautiful sunrise and the cruise ships were entering the harbour again. Such a nice moment. I have been pondering why my 3-4 weeks sobriety stints come to a sudden halt. Its like a switch in my brain, I become another person and say YES rather than NO. Perhaps it is that as I feel so good I feel that I am indestructible. I know I can stay sober but its like D said, permanency is the hurdle. This is what I need to work on and focus on this time around. Yes Winslow, booze free household from now. All the tempting wine bottles (xmas presents) have been packed in the car and driven to the school for staff as presents today by my partner. So nothing is left here to tempt me. Ok work for me now. Grizz and Midton, hope you both well during this mad time of the year.
Take care
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Old 12-16-2015, 12:50 PM
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It's difficult for sure sydneyman - for me it became about making different choices...& about accepting drinking would never be a viable option for me again, and taking the leap of faith that rejecting the YES response would pan out for me.

D
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Old 12-16-2015, 03:55 PM
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Very wise and encouraging words D.. Yes perhaps I have still not accepted that I will NEVER drink again. When I get the feeling of being on top of the world after being sober for a while I forget how bad I used to feel when drinking, the spiral down happens so quickly. So why dont I get it?
It has to be the ultimatum goal that I need to aim to achieve.. Moderation is no
Option as it does not work. So the answer is pretty simple. This is what I have to learn to accept, comprehend and follow. Am I strong enough? I have to be.
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Old 12-16-2015, 04:27 PM
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to be brutally honest I didn't start out with the determination never to drink again - that seemed SO scary - but I grew into it

I knew I could manage not to drink 'today', so I committed to that each and every day until it 'clicked' for me

D
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Old 12-16-2015, 04:46 PM
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something I saw in another thread:



D
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Old 12-16-2015, 04:57 PM
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Hey y'all ((hug))!
I'm still here just not able to post a lot still. I post here and the gratitude posts, one yr and under, August, July, and read a lot of others. I haven't been able to get on as much as I like to. I feel out of touch not keeping up with everybody like I usually do. Its ok though. Most of you seem to be well. Syd, just go again man. You only loose if you quit trying. One of those attempts will stick. Try again, again, and again. ((Hug))!
I'm doing well. Living day to day, accepting change, letting it happen, learning, being open to new everything. Growing into my new skin. Things have changed so much. I'm settling down more and more. Of course I have to be aware but I've also learned to relax. Shew. Still exhausted from all this. Wish I could have a month off. Tomorrow is 150 days. I've come a long way and still got some traveling to go! Off tomorrow and hoping to get my Christmas shopping done. Please take care and keep supporting each other! ((Hug)) to you all!
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Old 12-16-2015, 05:21 PM
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Hi everyone - just a quick "hi". I hit Day 10 on my phone app and got a medal for it. Ha ha, I'll take it! A long day but relatively good. I know things are going to get a lot more festive really soon but have to grind out some more work and school days first.

Congrats on 150 days Key of C -- woo hoo!!! Awesome!!!

Sydneyman, you will start racking up the days and feel more confident very soon. I'm so glad you're back and thankful for everyone in this group - have a good night or day wherever you are!
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Old 12-16-2015, 06:20 PM
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So true D.. Change the behaviours, replace them with something new.. Which I am doing. I need to give myself time. Rome wasnt built in a day
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Old 12-16-2015, 06:56 PM
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Congrats Key, that is wonderful!!! Shortly after I first got on SR I remember you hit 90 days, and I thought wow, I don't know if I can make that. Now I'm almost there! Thank you so much for your support and encouragement : ) You are doing awesome!
Long day of seeing houses today. By the end I was getting all giggly and coming unglued. I came home and made a cup of coffee and got back out to do Christmas shopping. I told myself I can do it now or I can do it later, but it's best to do it now, so I did. I'm tuckered out now. One of the things I like about my job, and I hope this doesn't sound mean, is that sometimes I get reminders of why I don't drink. One guy today answered the door and was like I'm sorry, I feel like s**t, I had a late night of drinking last night. He looked rough, and he said he felt terrible. I left there and thought I do not miss that at all!
I think it was soberwolf that posted this link a couple of days ago, and I got a lot out of it. I copied and pasted the link for anyone interested that didn't see it when it was posted in a different thread.
The Stoic: 9 Principles to Help You Keep Calm in Chaos - 99u
Keep up the great work gang!
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Old 12-16-2015, 07:38 PM
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Happy 150 days Key, and congrats on 10 Juno

D
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Old 12-16-2015, 08:48 PM
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Just had a Facebook message from someone I haven't seen since August. I mentioned that I haven't drank since I saw them last. She asked "why?" I replied that I spend my summer drinking and now find the hangovers not worth it. To my astonishment her reply was "sad to hear that. You ok now?"

This woman's husband owns a few companies but they are in the place of managers. They basically go drinking every night but at up the next morning at five to walk the dog. I don't know how they do it and I don't think they are alcoholics but I'm shocked that she feels so,some not drinking has a problem. I'm literally gobsmacked.


In other news I'm becoming slightly concerned at my lack of cravings. I still have craving but now they are from chocolate and marshmallows. If I had a choice between marshmallows and wine I'd choose marshmallows at present. I know it's comfort eating but it's killed my cravings for wine.
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Old 12-16-2015, 08:57 PM
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I have people who knew me at my worst - acquaintances not alcoholics - who express astonishment I'm still not drinking...surely I'd be 'ok' now?

what can you do?

as for cravings...first they became mere thoughts...and then they stopped

D
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Old 12-17-2015, 04:09 AM
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Hi guys! Morning here on the east coast. It's 7:00 am and almost completely dark out. We're getting into some of the darkest days of the years. My daughter's birthday is on Dec. 20 - a very short day indeed. It was bright sunshine and cold on the day she was born in the UK. She was born in the morning and the sun was shining brightly.

Grizzly, thanks for the link. Great stuff!

Midton, about your Facebook friend - a couple of comments:

- I think she is so brainwashed into the drinking culture (like a lot of folks in our society) that she can't comprehend why someone would not want to drink and the benefits of not drinking.
- For the life of me I can't understand people who drink every night and are up at 5:00 every day feeling chipper. I'm just not wired that way. I have a couple of friends like that - go out to the bar and have a few, then up at 7:00 for spin class at the gym. My body doesn't work that way and I'm beginning to think I'm one of the lucky ones. I consider myself a champion when it comes to hangovers, and it's my body's way of telling me it doesn't want that toxin in it. My body is doing me a favor by punishing me for drinking, because now I get to enjoy the benefits of not drinking.
- cravings: I haven't been having any at all since my last binge. I think it's a good thing and relief from that constant brain process that tells me I need alcohol in order to feel good. Midton, I think it's good you haven't had cravings. Enjoy your marshmellows.

Thursday here .... creeping towards the weekend. Going to try to get in a large chunk of hours in the office today so I'll check in later!
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Old 12-17-2015, 05:24 AM
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Hey all,Juno,my body is the same, just cannot drink and be up and about the next day,my mom is 65 but can drink and wake up rarin to go so I don't think its an age thingie,think my body just don't like the garbage! Cravings? Not so much with me either, Thoughts on the other hand,yes here and there,ugly thoughts,even though Rational Recovery says HALT isn't a reason people feel a need to drink,I truly believe in it,hunger and thirst being a biggie! I've kind of been over eating but hey,its the holidays,will make changes after the madness dies down,everyone sounds great,hope we all have an easy Thursday😊
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Old 12-17-2015, 11:01 AM
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Feeling great again. I seem to bounce back quickly, thankfully. Another beautiful great fast paced walk with my partner watching sunrise..scales are down as well.. So I am content all around.
My glitter hands were worth it, our department won the decorating comp.. We get a cash reward to use for a reward in the new year. Of course its held in a pub and most of the $$ go towards booze. Ok check in later again. Shower and work, friday and weekend ahead, not a danger zone anymore. I psyched myself up to that..
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Old 12-17-2015, 03:15 PM
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Ugh, I don't want to come here and whine, but I didn't have a great day. And I'm really stressed out. I briefly thought of a glass of wine and quickly dismissed the idea. The idea is gone and out of my head, now I'm just trying to crawl my way to Friday to put this week out of its misery. Tomorrow is supposed to be a festive day at work (our office party). Really this time of year should be festive, not stressful. Of course in reality, it's both. I will feel better soon, I promise. Sydneyman, nice to see the spring in your step again. You sound good!
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Old 12-17-2015, 04:03 PM
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Juno,whine,whine away just don't wine,wine away! Today was stressful for me too and I drank too much coffee so that didn't help,trying to calm down now,we got this😊
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