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Class of October 2015 Part 5

Old 01-22-2016, 05:43 AM
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Hey all,Juno,you be safe this weekend, one of my friends posted pics of the dairy aisle in one of the stores by you guys and ALL of the milk was gone!Grizz,it does seem like a few days before a milestone I feel yucky,I swear its not in my head cuz I don't really know what day I'm on until I look,its kinda like a pms of sobriety haha! Midton,where's that gratitude list? I was digging that😊 today I was thinking that I'm grateful for the extra money I have by not wasting it on beer,I had all my bills paid by the 14th where in the past I would be on a bender,broke,taking cash off a credit card to pay bills that I forgot were due,oh I don't miss that scramble!this is the longest I've been sober in 10 years and I'm just going with the flow to see what's around the next corner, I really have no desire to drink,I just think it through knowing how many it would take(a lot!)how I'd feel the next days,the disconnect from family and how much I'd hate myself, hope everyone has a lovely Friday😊
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Old 01-22-2016, 12:41 PM
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Winslow, yesterday all the gas stations around here were out of gas! I'm not kidding!! I was able to fill up this morning without too much trouble. I even got to yoga ahead of the storm.

It is snowing now and starting to pile up. I'm going to take my dog for a walk and then get some work done.

I went to home depot with my contractor - returned the cabinet that isn't going to work due to configuration, and picked up a new one. Took a while to accomplish, but it's now done. The new one cost a bit more than the old one, but what are you going to do....

Other good news: today is my 1/2 birthday. It's also my new day 10 (yay!!) Also, my rings arrived in the mail. Grizzly, you called it - I think I am going to keep all three. Though they were all the same size (the smallest they offered), they fit on different fingers and look nice together Makes me happy.

Have a nice weekend everyone! As long as we keep power, this should be a good weekend...
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Old 01-22-2016, 01:57 PM
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Juno,I avoid home depot just cuz they have such beautiful cabinets,countertops,lighting etc,I want to do the whole house! Keep the rings as your day 10 present😊 I always love day 10,try and just take it 10 days at a time,that's what I've done even though I've made my big plan of forever, 10 day chunks adds up fast😊 where is everyone else?
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Old 01-22-2016, 02:09 PM
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Windslow,

Here you are more gratitude. Recently there has been a spate of famous musicians dying at a relatively young ago. I also know of six people who died in the last week, three were of old age ( in their 90s) but the other two were a suicide and a car crash.

Now I am grateful for my genes and the health they have bestowed on me. I have never been in hospital, never broken a bone, never had an operation and never really been sick. When I was 35 I got chicken pox which was pretty bad but other than that and glandular fever when I was 12 ive had nothing, zilch, nada. Even when I was sick and off school for 3 months with glandular fever there was a big strike in the uk and the schools were closed as they couldn't be heated; so I missed nothing.

Recently I haven't had a sick day since the chicken pox 13 years ago. I never get a cold, never mind influenza. I am still physically fit enough to vigourously work out basically daily. And despite years of alcohol and even chocolate/marshmallow abuse my teeth are great and my organs and blood work are all fine.

So, on this fine Saturday morning and just as I head off to the gym, I am grateful for my inherent health which so far I am blessed with.
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Old 01-22-2016, 03:32 PM
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Wonderful post Midton😊 that's a topper on the gratitude list
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Old 01-22-2016, 05:44 PM
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Slight correction it was five people who have died recently.
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Old 01-22-2016, 07:15 PM
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I am grateful that they finished my kitchen and bathrooms today! It was chaotic, especially this morning, but we survived and all my furry babies are accounted for. I was so worried about leaving my dog and three cats here while the guys tore up my house, but I had to go to work. I've dreaded it since November, but it is done now!
I am feeling better for the most part, but the girls in my office are so sick. What I got was really mild compared to how bad it's been for everyone else in my office. I'm wondering if it's because they are quite a bit older than I am or if it's because they drink. Maybe a combination of both? I smoke and they don't, but they got all the congestion in their chests. I feel really bad for them.
I've got to get up early tomorrow. My kiddo has a swim meet an hour and a half away again, but this time I'm not going to be drunk for it : )
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Old 01-23-2016, 10:26 AM
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Hey everyone! Just checking in real quick. Looks like we have about 2 feet of snow and it's still coming down. I'll try to measure a little later on. We still have power, which is key. My dog loves it - he's a little guy (only 28 pounds) and the snow is over his head in some places. It's so cute watching him hop along and try to navigate where to go so he doesn't get over his head!

So far, this storm is a blessing for me. I'm fine with being stuck at home for days. My normal life is to run around too much from place to place, and this is a gift for me - to be stuck at home. My kids are here with me. Unfortunately the work is still going on with my bathroom and will be for at least another week. I have found whatever time estimate they give you at a start of a job, take that and multiply by 3 or 4 and you get the actual time it takes to do a job. At least with this contractor. He's my neighbor and he's giving me a good price to do the job, which is why I'm using him. However, he's starting to get on my nerves because he's here so much. I don't know how anyone can have a guy hanging around their house all the time. I just prefer being single. I hope I can stand him for the remainder of the job.

No thoughts of alcohol - it's as if that whole train of thought has disappeared. Maybe that last little lame wine drinking session was the thing I needed to see how pathetic it is. I'm so much stronger and healthier now. I have no desire to go backwards. My ex keeps trying to contact me from that time in Dec. when I drank too much and opened up communications with him. I want no part of a relationship with him and I keep sending quick dismissive emails hoping he'll leave me alone. I have changed and moved on from when I was interested in him.

I'm reading a new recovery book and am finding it sort of boring. It's called "Sober is the New Black" by Rachel Black. It's so boring I don't even know if I can finish it. I have read some excellent, compelling books about alcohol - most notably Blackout and Drunk Mom recently. They were both well written and read like novels. This one seems like some woman just got out her laptop and started typing away - no real drama or writing skills. I mean jeez, if I'm going to read it you kind of have to tell a story. Not just tell me that you stopped drinking and things are so much better.

Okay, guys - I'm going back to my day here. Hoping to make it through this storm without any calamities!
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Old 01-23-2016, 01:38 PM
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Back from the swim meet, and I'm really proud of my kiddo! It was his third meet and his first time swimming the 200 meter breast stroke. That looks exhausting! He is 12 and was swimming against 13 to 15 years old, and I was like wow, they look... different. I am going to enjoy my kiddo looking like a kid for as long as it lasts!
Four months for me today! I put on shorts this morning that I haven't worn in a couple of months, and they are too big! That's exciting! I had a hard week of thinking in the future I can drink moderately, and it started when I took my medicine as directed instead of chugging the whole bottle. My thinking was see, I'm different now. Also, after an exhausting week I was wanting something to relax and take a break from working hard- something different than just going to bed. I told myself to really think it through and not doing anything impulsively, and if I still wanted to drink and was willing to accept everything that comes along with it, then I could. I don't want everything that comes along with it. I am so unbelievably productive lately, and I don't want to give that up. The thought of drinking again scares me because I have come so far, and I could blow it so quickly. So I did a lot of thinking this week and came to the conclusion sober is so much better. Things are going really well for me because I'm not drinking.
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Old 01-23-2016, 02:42 PM
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Grizzly, glad you enjoyed the swim meet and your son. And good for you working through those thoughts. I think we all have the tendency to romanticize drinking - after all, we all enjoyed it at least at some points in our lives. I know that that thought has gotten me back to trying drinking again and again. Speaking from my experience, the last few times I drank I paid attention and didn't even enjoy it. I just felt fuzzy and stupid. I don't think we are missing out on anything good, and I know we're leaving behind a lot of bad stuff.

My contractor / neighbor came over and was supposed to work on the bathroom. He then proceeded to act tired and complain. I told him to go home and rest and come back when he was ready to work. I already have 3 kids - I don't need a 4th one. I'm starting to not have a lot of patience for him. He was also doing stupid stuff like teasing my dog. I told him not to do that - my dog is very sensitive and not a laid back dog. The things he was doing were very irritating to my dog and I tried to tell him. He was teasing him, acting stupid, play growling and then fake crying and staring my dog in the eye - all of which were threatening to my dog. My dog then tried to attack him which kind of served him right. I wanted to tell him, "My dog doesn't like you - he just tolerates you. Leave him alone and he won't hurt you." How do you do that without sounding mean?

Oh and my daughter and I got in a mini-fight because she said I don't buy enough meat to eat. She was complaining that all she could find was a frozen dinner with shrimp and pasta. I explained to her that I do all the grocery shopping and it's a lot of work and she has to TELL me what she wants or I won't know to buy it. She then started to bully me around; today I wasn't in the mood for that so gave it right back to her and told her she started the fight. Oh, I'm in a "don't mess with me" mood. If I was drinking, I would be a disaster. Thank goodness for being sober. I may just get on the treadmill to relieve some stress!
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Old 01-24-2016, 05:39 AM
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Good morning - it has stopped snowing and today is a day to dig out. Shovel, shovel, shovel.

My daughter and I worked out our little fight about food and we had a good evening. We watched the movie Inside Out on DVD, what a great and clever Pixar film.

Time to get up, get moving and make a list of things to accomplish today. Day 12. I was just remembering some of the times I had bad hangovers and am so happy to be where I am today! Have a good Sunday!
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Old 01-24-2016, 04:14 PM
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Wow, where is everyone? I seem to be the only one posting Funny, funny.

OMG, I shoveled for about 3 hours today (at least). I had to get my car out - it was buried under several feet of snow. But even worse, I had to get all the snow away from it left behind by the plow and all around it. It was exhausting and I got a blister on my hand from all that work. I will not be working out tonight - I think Advil, an ice pack and rest in bed will be it for me.

Strangest thing was that after I was done shoveling, I got a slight craving for a glass of wine. It was just that feeling of wanting to reward myself for all that hard work. Fortunately, I had a bottle of non-alcoholic sparkling grape juice in the fridge so just poured myself a glass and it did the trick. I was also thinking about the reasons that keep me from drinking again: there are two main reasons (1) I never again want to experience a hangover and (2) my actions when drinking are so stupid that I don't want to go to that level again. I like being a strong independent woman and when I drink I tend to reach out to people that I wouldn't when sober. THAT is keeping me motivated!!!
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Old 01-24-2016, 04:52 PM
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Hey all,have a stomach bug or ate something bad,had to call in to work yesterday, can't afford it but couldn't go,no way! Kinda depressing cuz I only ever called off if I were drinking and tbh it felt like I had been,gross! Juno,that neighbor/contractor sounds like a pain😡 glad you got your car out but 3 hours sheesh,at least your arms got a workout😊 hello to all,have a peaceful rest of the day😊
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Old 01-24-2016, 08:36 PM
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Hi Juno, I'm here! You've had quite a weekend it sounds like! I definitely know the feeling of wanting a reward after working hard. Good for you for going for the sparkling juice instead : ) I haven't figured out a reward lately for working hard. My coping mechanism has been to work some more, don't stop until I'm ready to crash. It kind of seems like I'm afraid to sit still because I worry where my mind will wander off to, so I stay busy as a distraction and feel good after being really productive. My sponsor suggested yesterday that it might be time to try some meditation. I'll give that a try I think...
I went into work today because I'm taking some time off for a doctor's appointment tomorrow. I woke up at 8 and was like time to get busy! I was thinking on the way in that the last time I worked on a Sunday I was hungover as all get out. I drank while I was getting ready for work, and I stopped at the liquor store to buy more booze for while I worked. Of course I drank when I got home too. I felt awful. It was a horrible feeling. I recall that day vividly, and it makes my stomach churn. Today what I felt was not remotely close to what I felt that day- I was so happy to be hangover free, productive, efficient, and not paranoid.
Winslow, I hope you feel better soon!!
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Old 01-24-2016, 08:54 PM
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Juno, I feel your pain. While I have no blisters my elbows (joints) are killing me.

We had a massive dump if snow here too. Sunday was spent clearing snow then overnight it dumped amassing amount. Then I, blinded by snow in my face, managed to mangle a hose around my snow blower. Took 3 hours to cut it out. This is going to be a long day and an even longer week.
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Old 01-25-2016, 05:22 AM
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Winslow, sorry about your stomach bug. That sucks. I've been lucky with those that they pass within about 24 hours - hoping that's the case for you!

Grizzly, I understand that feeling of not knowing how to slow down. When I used to drink, I'd pour my first glass of wine upon getting home from work. It was the transition from the busy day to the more relaxed evening. When stopping drinking, there is that void that it's hard to transition from busy busy to relaxed. I have had to work on that, too. Sometimes if I have had a hard day, I go to my room upon getting home, close the door and get in child's position (from yoga) for about 15 minutes just to center myself. It's kind of like meditation. I do try to meditate once in a while, but now I'm having more success with just slowing down on my own by taking my dog for a walk or whatever. Let us know how the mediation goes!

Midton, I feel your pain too! Today I'm sore all over from that massive shoveling expedition I did yesterday. I would like to get to yoga soon to stretch out my sore, tired muscles. I'll go to the studio the first chance I get.

I will be working from home today because the kids are home from school. I'm lucky that I have a job that allows work from home. As long as I have electricity and an internet connection, I'm good to go.

One day at a time this week, it's going to be a crazy one. Later, all!
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Old 01-25-2016, 07:01 AM
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Hey all,everyone sounds good😊 sore but good,Grizz,your drinking pattern sound exactly like mine was! So scary how I'd drink all day and night,Juno,it did pass in 24 hours,yippie, Midton,is it still snowing? Is more expected? Got to run, hope we all have a great day😊
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Old 01-25-2016, 11:58 AM
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Windslow,

It's just before 5 am here and I'm up to clear more snow. It's stopped snowing just now and the forecast for the next three days is good. Still when get around 5 metres over a winter. Still another potential 5 weeks of snow. It will still snow in March but not the powder snow we get in Jan-Feb.

Snow machine is good to go though.
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Old 01-25-2016, 09:14 PM
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Hi! Checking in real quick before I crash. Today was a good day. It really helped that I went into work yesterday so even though I was gone for two hours today, I'm still ahead for tomorrow. I did my well women's visit today. It was free! I didn't know until today that I can get one free well women's visit a year, labs included, and if anything is wrong, it's covered under the well women's so that's free too. Wow! I scheduled a physical for next week that will include blood work. After that I'm going to schedule a dental exam and cleaning, and that will be half price. I'm getting a full tune up! I'm going to write the doctor from the walk-in clinic that recommended this place a thank you card and tell her I think I love her.
My boss came into work sick again. Everyone in my office is really sick now but me. They all took an antibiotic, but I didnt because the doctor from the walk-in clinic wouldn't prescribe it for me. I think she really knew what she was talking about- another reason for the thank you card telling her I love her!
Winslow, that's great you're feeling better already! That passed faster than my hangovers : )
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Old 01-26-2016, 05:45 AM
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Hey all,well my stomach bug passed but now I have a cold,lovely,my son has been sick for a week,little grandson for a ffew days so I blame them! Yesterday I kept coughing into a towel at work, today will be more of the same,Grizz,glad you're getting the healthcare stuff done,I'm due for bloods cuz I usually do them yearly,Midton,Juno,Sisterbobby hope you're all well,let's have a terrific Tuesday😊
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